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SweetCarolinee

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Posts posted by SweetCarolinee

  2. Did adderall honeymoon REALLY change your life in a substantial way??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I completely agree with the posts above. The only things Adderall was useful for, for me, was staying up late, waking up early and not eating. It made me spend and waste a lot of time cleaning, rearranging and reorganizing my room/apartment and buying useless shit. I think I wasted a lot of time and energy on useless shit on Adderall -- like highlighting and day drinking lol Without it, I don't waste time on as useless stuff anymore because I just don't have the time or reason. 8 months into my recovery and I still need at least 10 hours of sleep a night to be functional but I wouldn't have it any other way.

    • Like 1

  3. Could you "turn off" when you were always on?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Reading this made me try to remember what I felt like on Adderall. Flash back 6 years ago, a year into my love affair and abuse of Adderall and booze, a year into college. I was fucking out of my mind. Could never turn off or calm down. What a nut-case, looney tunes. I would drink a handle of Jose, still be 50 shades of cray. I would run 10 miles a day and still not be able to turn it off. And I always felt not comfortable in my core, to my core, nervous and like I was missing something. Apart of me. Or unnatural.  I always felt like something was missing. Now I feel complete and whole and comfortable and happy. Really happy and organic. Sometimes I feel a warm and fuzzy feeling and it's awesome. I don't think I ever felt warm and fuzzy on Adderall. EVER and fuck that. Life is too short to not feel warm and fuzzy and laugh and feel complete. It feels good to not feel guilty all the time. All of this makes me NEVER want to take Adderall again.

    • Like 4
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    12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    And I am 8 months clean today! WOO fucking HOO!!!!!!!! I honestly can't believe it and I know if I never stopped taking Adderall I would never be as happy and successful as I am today! I feel like I put my big girl panties on and I'm starting to take responsibility and accountability for my life and I'm starting to STOP making excuses and it is awesome!

    • Like 5

  5. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Hey guys!

     

    How is everyone?! I've missed you all. I've been a little MIA lately, just so busy with work and balancing life but everything is pretty good. I haven't been working out as much as I want lately but I have been completely focusing on my diet and trying to get it under control and not drinking and being as healthy as I can. I'm working on little steps towards my goal and adding something positive or taking away something negative from my life, week by week to not overwhelm myself. I have tried to wake up and not eat crabs or processed food and not drink and work out everyday, literally overnight and I always end up messing that up so now I'm changing little habits and steps over time to make them long-term new habits! It seems to be really helping and working so far. I'm trying to change the way I see and think about certain things that I think will hold me back in life. They say it takes 3 weeks to make a new habit so I'm excited to see what the future holds. In a few weeks, once I have my healthy eating and not drinking down, I will start adding in cardio and weights! I do walk at least 10,000 steps a day thow, with my fitbit, which is almost 5 miles. I've also given up diet coke by replacing it with lemon favored soda water or fresh lemon and cucumber water or just plain hot water.

     

    I've been eating lots of salads with spinach, protein shakes with fresh fruit, homemade kale chips, veggies and green apples with almond butter and I'm starting to LOVE it! I try to mostly eat what comes/is grown from the ground.

     

    I'm starting to try to cut out carbs slowly but it's hard, why are carbs so damn good? Whenever I eat wheat thow, I get hives and I have been for over 2 years now. I went to the skin doctor, allergist, got blood work done and nothing came up but I think I am having a reaction to gluten. 

     

    Drinking hot water, boiled from the kettle has been amazing. It seems a little odd but it's so relaxing and calming and it detoxs. I really enjoy drinking my hot water.

     

    I'm also obsessed with mixing an "aloha: the daily good" organic green mix packet with a raspberry emergen-C for energy and I think it's helping.

     

    I just got this stuff called "NutraMextrix: Custom Health Solutions" / it's a powder you mix with water, twice a day, 2 cap fulls and it's awesome. It has powerful antioxidants, promotes cardiovascular and joint health, helps maintain healthy cholesterol and blood glucose levels, demonstrates anti-inflammatory activity and supports normal blood vessel function… it is supposed to help with ADD and ADHD as well. I've only been using it since Friday but I will report back in a few weeks. 

     

    A lot of this new perspective has come from this book I'm reading: "The Everygirl's Guide to Diet and Fitness" by Maria Menounos... she used to be 40lbs heavier and I'm really loving this book so far!

    • Like 1

  7. What moment did u realize adderall had taken over your life?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Probably when I was taking it everyday and not just on school days. Even days where I was doing nothing or watching movies or even on days I was hungover or working out. Why would I need it these days? Come on now. Because I was clearly addicted.


     


    One time a few years into my 7 year addiction, while in college, I flushed them all down the toilet because I was so sick and tired of taking them and being so freaking dependent on a pill and then freaked out a few days later, called my doctor and got more like no. big. deal. Even though I said I wanted to stop taking them.


     


    SO glad I finally did!


    • Like 1
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    Attempt 3 at quitting. I think I'm hitting the wall.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Hey Hesperus,

     

    Welcome to this wonderful site. I'm glad you joined and good for you for wanting to quit again -- they say 3rd's the charm! Quitting is rough and I completely agree with everything ZK and Cassie said above. Time, sleep, patience and hope heals all wounds. I slept 10-12 hours the first few months after quitting and it helped a lot. I still sleep about 10 hours a night, which I think is too much, what can ya do? I give my body what I think it needs and has been lacking for the 7 years I was on Adderall. I also did hot yoga every other day for my first few months quitting and it helped wonders. It helped and felt so good sweating out all the toxins and bad stuff out of my body. Lord knows, I needed it. It is easier to let in and use again but don't take the easy way out. You need to find crazy inner strength inside you (that you have) and use it and push threw when you hit the wall. We are always going to hit walls, in life and it's the flight or fight scenario. Fight. Fight for your right for a better life. A healthier life. A fuller life. Full of love and happiness. Just keeping going, keep moving forward, keep fighting and don't look back. You have to push threw the pain to win this battle.

     

    I am a few days past my 7 month mark clean and I feel fucking great! So much healthier and happier inside and out. I have a new job, I live in a new state, I live in paradise now and I did this all without Adderall. You couldn't pay me to take Adderall again. You have it in you, my friend… we have all been in your shoes. This site has been a God-sent and a life saver. Come here for support, advice and/or friends, anything you need… we are here for you every step of the way.

     

    You can do it!

    Goodluck and unleash your inner fighter.

    • Like 8

  10. Anger on Adderall

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I would get so easily mad from the stupidest shit. If someone moved something of mine, used or ate something I bought without asking, I would be so mad but I kept a lot of it bottled up or I would drink to cover up all my rage; which most of the time made me more angry. Regardless, all this anger, rage and being pissed off wasn't me before being introduced to the orange pill. I would get mad a lot on it (looking back, I was mad all the time yet happy too?), over a lot of things and in a very unhealthy, unnatural way, that I knew wasn't me at all and I knew it was the Adderall poisoning my mind, thoughts, choices and actions. I had a lot of broken hands on Adderall from punching shit, once I punched a stop sign after a party just to prove to a dude I can… like really?

     

    I also waitressed, cocktailed and bartended while in collage. If I didn't get a good tip when I thought I did a great job taking care of customers, I would be mad on the inside and need a shot or something to cool down. What a shitty way to live, always being mad, it's such a toxic lifestyle and I am so glad I broke free of this trapped way of living.

     

    Since quitting, I couldn't feel more organic, genuine, happy and healthy again -- inside my mind and being. I am still getting my sexy bod back by eating healthy and trying to exercise 5 times a week and it still is a struggle with my job and sometimes I still struggle with energy certain times of the day and wanting to drink on weekdays but you couldn't pay me to go back on that shit. I just feel too damn good these days without it... I'm enjoying getting the 'real' me back!

     

    I hope your friend gets the help and healing he needs. 

    • Like 2

  11. Psychiatrists are really impossible.

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hey Sebastian,


     


    I'm sorry to hear your experience with the psychiatrists didn't go too well. You may have to keep looking until you find the right one and for one that actually gives a shit about you and your well being. Some like that are out there.


     


    I also suggest possibly looking into Cognitive Theory if you don't want to be on any more medication, it can truly get to the root of the problem, in some cases, if it isn't a chemical imbalance.


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    Weight changes

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    This is very inspiring because I am still struggling with the weight gain. From right after quitting til my 3 month mark, I was doing hot yoga every other day and being insanely healthy and still gained weight. Then I moved down to FL and started a new job, which I love but now I work 6 days a week and haven't had as much time to focus on working out or being healthy but I know it's because I've been making excuses and haven't made enough time for it. The painting events we put on are in different local bars and restaurants so I've been eating out a lot and drinking a few drinks every night, as well so clearly I'm gaining weight from all this but I'm having a lot of fun and making new friends. I just know this isn't healthy or the life style I want in the long run. We are also in-between moving to a new, bigger place near by, which is awesome yet stressful.

     

    Tonight, I'm working and I am going to eat a healthy meal before going into work and just drink soda water the entire time. If I do get hungry, I will order a spinach salad.

     

    I'm also gonna start waking up earlier so I can get some yoga or runs in. I'm also gonna allow myself only 2 drinks, maybe 2 times a week or go cold turkey from drinking for awhile after the 4th, which I'm off and want to celebrate with new friends. My younger bro just got out of rehab for drinking. It's my own fault this has happened but it just really sucks right now. The weight gain is the only reason why I would ever want to take Adderall again and why I still think about it and sometimes long for it but that is out of the question. I just need to get my shit together.

     

    Thanks for the story, there is hopefully light at the end of this tunnel. 

    • Like 5

  15. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    ZK, Great work with quitting the smokes and the bootcamp, that is so awesome and it sounds like your doing great. With the gaining weight, you are probably just gaining muscle weight. Or try possibly tracking your daily calories, it may help (with FitnessPal online or the app -- it's been helping me a lot). Losing weight is a science and a lot of work and it sucks lol

     

    Anyways, recently I read "a pound of muscle burns more fat than a pound of fat, even at rest, by increasing your lean muscle tissue mass, you're helping your body burn more calories." Let's use this as motivation!

    • Like 3

  17. 18 months clear at the end of June

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Sebastian,


     


    I'm terribly sorry your going threw this, I hope it all gets better for you and I know it will. Give it more time possibly. I completely agree with Cassie. But, at the end of the day, you have to do what's in your heart. I was wondering why you quit in the first place as well?


     


    I have thoughts and desires sometimes of taking Adderall again (I don't do it) but it runs threw my mind every now and then. I think I am doing pretty good so far but my anxiety is very bad, worse I think but my depression is completely gone - it's really crazy how that works. I have no idea why. Have you looked into Wellbutrin? I have never taken it myself but others on this site have and recommend it. If my anxiety gets worse, I may try it.


    • Like 1

  19. 12 Miles a Week Runners Club - NEW

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Hey guys,


     


    Sorry I forgot to post last week.


     


    I got my FitBit flex in the mail 2 weeks ago, it was a birthday gift that was back ordered and I'm super excited about it and it's been motivating me to workout and walk/run and hike more! At least 10,000 steps a day and I've also been tracking my food intake on the MyFitnessPal app and trying to get my shit together. It feels good. I've been trying to drink less as well.


     


    I did 15 miles last week (walked and jogged)!


    • Like 1

  20. Skin health?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hey there,


     


    I'm almost 6 months clean and my skin looks really great now and I think looks like it's glowing. Just give it time. I also take Solodyn 65mg (I get it from the dermatologist) -- it works wonders and helps with breakouts during my 'shark week' and/or hormonal acne. 


     


    I think my skin bounced back kind of quick… way quicker than my mind… Get lots of rest and drinking a lot of water should help. The rest part helps with no more huge bags under the eyes.


     


    Goodluck with everything and welcome!!!


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