Doge

Glad to hear -- I hope you told your doctor everything you told us!

I've definitely been there. It's a really dark place to be. Here's to never going back!

So glad to hear you're committed to healing and getting your old self back. Let us know how you're doing! It may look like we aren't active but we are. We had some recent problems with bots spamming us, which really made it hard to filter through and find peoples' posts. But we're here!

Thanks for sharing your story. I think the answer is yes to all of your questions. But his usage is severe. I am not an expert so I can't possibly know, but I think that if he gets help, gets clean, and gets treatment for whatever underlying condition he has been using adderall to cope with, he will eventually heal -- I sincerely hope with all my being that that is what happens. It sounds cliche, but he has to admit to himself that he has a problem before that healing can begin. The fact that he admitted this is definitely a ray of hope in your story, and is at least a little bit encouraging.

Thanks for sharing. People do still check this site. We had a lot of spam lately which was burying the actual content but it seems to have been taken care of -- thanks mods! I know what you mean about it being therapeutic to put this all in writing. I hope your ex-wife is able to break free from the prison she's in, and that your kids are OK and you are able to heal your relationship with them. Congratulations on having 2 years clean!

Absolutely! It's totally normal. Best wishes, you'll get through this!

And then ironically, happiness just manages to somehow find you! But it comes in small doses, and you can't control it. But when it hits, it's better than a pill.

How long were you on it? And congratulations on 7 months! That's is HUGE.

This site seems to be getting over-run with spam. Any active mods available for a culling?

The answer you seek is in the place you least want to look. Call your doctor. Tell them what's happening. It's scary but simple. You've gotta do it and break the cycle or this will continue until it kills you. Look after yourself. We want to keep you!

@LILTEX41I'm so happy for you. You made it back into the zone! I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby's brain tumor. They really do leave us too soon. I wish we could give them some of our years. I'm glad you added new kittens to your family. They are so helpful with healing the broken heart.

Hi dyingalive, Please call you prescriber and tell them what's happening. It's scary to do so because they'll take the pills away but this is what you know needs to happen. You said it yourself. "Something is going to happen" if you don't stop. And you will die. Going through almost 4g in 4 days is taking an incredible toll on your body and health. We're here to support you but we can only do so much as we are strangers on the internet. Please, please, please seek help in person. I don't know much about the symptoms you describe but you may very well need medical attention already. Have you eaten? Haven you taken fluids? What you're describing sounds scary. Take care of yourself, we want you to get well!

Thanks to you also. We all need eachother!

PS - welcome! It may be therapeutic to tell your story (as much as you feel comfortable sharing). We want to know you and be here for you!

Congrats on 4 months clean by the way. That's the hardest part by far. I know what you mean about the intense cravings. I'm at about the 6 month mark after my (most recent) relapse and I've been feeling them too. I admit I've even been looking for new health clinics, plotting to get another assessment so I can get a new prescription. It's like you work so hard to talk yourself out of it, then spend a few minutes feeling positive and proud of yourself, only to have your thoughts turn towards it again. It really wears you down. I don't want to relapse again though. It's NOT worth it. I can speak from experience though, this is normal for this part of your timeline. Just take it one day at a time and do the BARE MINIMUM to get by in the meantime. That's awesome you haven't been drinking as alcohol is something I can blame almost every relapse on, at least partially. And yeah, it would be nice to have superpowers but that just not what the drug does for me anymore. I'd take it, do a couple hours of work, and then do exactly what you said -- slam an entire bottle in one night and be cracked out for a day and a half, left to pick up the pieces. Have you ever been to a narcotics anonymous meeting? I went to my first one a few days ago. I plan to go back once my schedule permits, at least once or twice per week. I didn't share, just listened, which everyone was fine with. And even listening to others really helps get your head back in the right space. They have online ones over discord now too so you TRULY are anoymous. Fire me a DM if you'd like the link. Posting on here is great too. Stay strong, friend, we love you!