Doge

@LILTEX41I'm so happy for you. You made it back into the zone! I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby's brain tumor. They really do leave us too soon. I wish we could give them some of our years. I'm glad you added new kittens to your family. They are so helpful with healing the broken heart.

Hi dyingalive, Please call you prescriber and tell them what's happening. It's scary to do so because they'll take the pills away but this is what you know needs to happen. You said it yourself. "Something is going to happen" if you don't stop. And you will die. Going through almost 4g in 4 days is taking an incredible toll on your body and health. We're here to support you but we can only do so much as we are strangers on the internet. Please, please, please seek help in person. I don't know much about the symptoms you describe but you may very well need medical attention already. Have you eaten? Haven you taken fluids? What you're describing sounds scary. Take care of yourself, we want you to get well!

Thanks to you also. We all need eachother!

PS - welcome! It may be therapeutic to tell your story (as much as you feel comfortable sharing). We want to know you and be here for you!

Congrats on 4 months clean by the way. That's the hardest part by far. I know what you mean about the intense cravings. I'm at about the 6 month mark after my (most recent) relapse and I've been feeling them too. I admit I've even been looking for new health clinics, plotting to get another assessment so I can get a new prescription. It's like you work so hard to talk yourself out of it, then spend a few minutes feeling positive and proud of yourself, only to have your thoughts turn towards it again. It really wears you down. I don't want to relapse again though. It's NOT worth it. I can speak from experience though, this is normal for this part of your timeline. Just take it one day at a time and do the BARE MINIMUM to get by in the meantime. That's awesome you haven't been drinking as alcohol is something I can blame almost every relapse on, at least partially. And yeah, it would be nice to have superpowers but that just not what the drug does for me anymore. I'd take it, do a couple hours of work, and then do exactly what you said -- slam an entire bottle in one night and be cracked out for a day and a half, left to pick up the pieces. Have you ever been to a narcotics anonymous meeting? I went to my first one a few days ago. I plan to go back once my schedule permits, at least once or twice per week. I didn't share, just listened, which everyone was fine with. And even listening to others really helps get your head back in the right space. They have online ones over discord now too so you TRULY are anoymous. Fire me a DM if you'd like the link. Posting on here is great too. Stay strong, friend, we love you!

This is so awesome to hear. Congratulations in advance! Take yourself out for dinner or treat yourself to something. 2 years is an amazing milestone to reach!. I loved reading your last paragraph!

So happy for you! Going back to it is common. I was clean for 6 years then went back to it in February. Glad to hear your outlook is so positive. Congratulations on having your child. Sure puts that 20lbs in perspective!

It's hard to say based on what you have said. But bravo to your son, who definitely dodged a bullet. ADHD stimulants seem wonderful at first, but then they start taking more and more away from you. As for your ex-wife, only she knows what's happening. I don't know what to suggest other than be ready to offer support for her and your kids as much as possible. Best wishes!

setbacks are gods setups for the bounce up. i love it

Hey @rosarita98168 to be honest sometimes it does feel that way, especially when you're picking yourself up off the ground from the lowest of lows. But ultimately, no, as long as you catch it fairly quickly, you don't go back to square one -- not even close. Speaking from experience, it's been 2 and a half months for me now, and aside from one fleeting thought that didn't last more than a minute or so, I haven't had a single craving. And I've barely thought about it, almost to the point of erasing the whole 3 month 'incident' from my memory. But to be fair that's not really a good thing. I should be reflecting on it more. But anyways the point is, this would have been unheard of for me back years ago when I first quit, where the first couple of months felt like the whole theme of every day was surviving the day without pills.

Yeah whenever you feel like shit and are hating on yourself for not having motivation, just remember by quitting you are doing something incredibly difficult. So if at all possible try to give yourself some grace. Do the bare minimum and congratulate yourself for it.

I promise you will continue to improve drastically, but it takes time and it is not linear. That is, some weeks might feel much worse than the week before. But overall you will notice an upward trend for years to come. As far as needing the energy earlier in the day, I sympathize. Maybe changing your sleep patterns would help? I know this is easier said than done, but melatonin helps a tonne in case you haven't tried it before. And HELL YEA on 2 months -- you ROCK. Let us know when the day hits so we can celebrate it together!

congrats cheesy! soon you'll be celebrating two months!

@LILTEX41 yep all is well with me, thanks for asking! but im already getting lazy and not checking this site frequently enough! *wags finger at himself*

Thank you @quit-once! I remember your story also about how you planned your quit so thoroughly and made it successful. Your dedication to recovery and the success of everyone else is so awesome. When I fuck up, I often ask myself, "what would quit-once say...", and I have imagined you in the back of my mind telling me when I need to do better. I'm glad your friend was able to quit as well. Amphetamines are so vicious. And you are right -- disaster is avoidable, but it's always freely available. Thanks for your comment and for checking in @LILTEX41! Your positivity and support helped me so much during those early years when it seemed impossible to get moving again. Funny you should mention that... I was already lurking here in February while waiting for my assessment/pills, probably thanks to the sane side of me knowing I was headed for a train-wreck. I hadn't taken the plunge yet, but the slip/relapse/whatever had already been set in motion as I had made up my mind to take the drugs again as soon as I got my hands on them. Anyways the story you shared a few months ago was on my mind the whole time, and was a huge part of the reason I was able to turn things around in time. So thank you so much for sharing your update when you did -- your timing was impeccable.