Doge

yup, have definitely posted there

came back to read your post again @NurseAddyand noticed this line funnily enough, last round of my rx i did something similar. at the time I was getting one month worth of vyvanse at a time and during my appointment my provider asked me if I wanted to just renew 3months worth so i woulnd't have to make an appointment for a while, since we knew that my dosage probably wouldn't change I said "no, that's ok, let's just stick with 1 month at a time for now", thinking to myself hehe, now she'll never know what I've been up to and of course once I picked up the prescription that bottle was empty within 5 or 6 days. things work out for a reason though, even though it was my inner addict with an alterior motive, having a 3 month supply might have been enough to OD and kill myself so it worked out for the best

you may or may not have read about my relapse after 6 years. and one of the reasons that happened was because I convinced myself I was cured and ready to put all this addiction stuff behind me and move past it. Well we are never cured and we have to be vigilant, or risk having that precious sobriety slip away. now that you mention it. I should be here more often, but I am part of a couple other recovery discord servers also as well as narcotics anonymous. this place used to be more active with many posts per day but things have calmed down a lot over the years one of my favorite quotes from the 12 steps is "we can only keep what we have by giving it away" so when a new person joins and is hitting their rock bottom and reaching out, it's an opportunity for us to help not only them but ourselves as well

So true.. Thanks for sharing -- I REALLY needed to hear this right now. You can do this. We love you!

As hard as it is for those whom the addict causes pain, and it is hard indeed I'm sure. I've never been on the receiving end of this sort of "hurting" (as a verb). But as for the addict themselves, don't ever worry about them reaping what they sew -- they will. I cannot think of an emotional pain on this earth that is worse than the sorrow the addict feels when they wake up one day, realizing the extent of their addiction and what it has truly cost them. And don't worry -- you are well within your rights not to be there for them when this day comes. But it will.

@Finding_myjoy_again Sorry for the late reply but I have to admit I have tears welling up in my eyes as I read your comment. I'm so grateful that this story could have a positive impact on someone else. It's almost like all the bad decisions I have made over the years can be forgiven by the universe. I hope you're doing OK. Keep working at it!

We are here but recently there was so much spam I confess I almost gave up on this site. KEEP stacking days everyone. Real life is too precious to waste away with stimulants.

Life will get harder for sure, but in the long run it will get SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!! See if you can help yourself by removing some things from your schedule. But if you work out, and you decide to modify your schedule and expectations of yourself ( YOU SHOULD ) then try to keep the duration of the workouts the same, but lower the intensity. Just my two cents

Glad to hear -- I hope you told your doctor everything you told us!

I've definitely been there. It's a really dark place to be. Here's to never going back!

So glad to hear you're committed to healing and getting your old self back. Let us know how you're doing! It may look like we aren't active but we are. We had some recent problems with bots spamming us, which really made it hard to filter through and find peoples' posts. But we're here!

Thanks for sharing your story. I think the answer is yes to all of your questions. But his usage is severe. I am not an expert so I can't possibly know, but I think that if he gets help, gets clean, and gets treatment for whatever underlying condition he has been using adderall to cope with, he will eventually heal -- I sincerely hope with all my being that that is what happens. It sounds cliche, but he has to admit to himself that he has a problem before that healing can begin. The fact that he admitted this is definitely a ray of hope in your story, and is at least a little bit encouraging.

Thanks for sharing. People do still check this site. We had a lot of spam lately which was burying the actual content but it seems to have been taken care of -- thanks mods! I know what you mean about it being therapeutic to put this all in writing. I hope your ex-wife is able to break free from the prison she's in, and that your kids are OK and you are able to heal your relationship with them. Congratulations on having 2 years clean!

Absolutely! It's totally normal. Best wishes, you'll get through this!

And then ironically, happiness just manages to somehow find you! But it comes in small doses, and you can't control it. But when it hits, it's better than a pill.