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  1. Yesterday
  2. 2 years with no adderall

    How did you feel at the 1 year mark compared to now in terms of energy and motivation?
  3. I agree with you - I have come this far and this year was hell. I don’t want to start at square one again. That’s really interesting about going back and needing the same amount as when you stopped. I do feel good when I exercise, I just need to make myself because like I mentioned, I have no motivation to do anything. Thanks for your response.
  4. After 1 Year - is it really worth it?

    Hi Cassi. Congrats on making it one year. I’m sorry you are struggling with this. The recovery takes a very long time for some of us. I took adderall for 12 years and I am 2.5 years off. At one year off, I was not doing as well as I wanted to either... I have read on this site from people who try going back on adderall, that it won’t take you back to any semblance of the honey moon phase or even the productive high energy phase. They say when you go back on it, your tolerance kicks in pretty quickly and soon you are back to square one and wanting to quit again. I was still seeing improvement in myself all through the second year. What if you give it one more year off adderall and then reevaluate. i sometimes think about going back on a low dose too. But I don’t want to have to quit again and that pretty much stops me from considering it further. Remember we are older than we used to be when we stared adderall too. So some of the low energy we feel could be partly from just being older. Sorry for rambling all over the place. But I wanted to reply even if it was messy and unorganized. Have you tried any exercise lately? Aerobic exercise will release endorphins and improve your mood. Even a brisk walk can make a difference.
  5. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'll never learn how to live without Adderall (or Xanax for that matter). It's the euphoria they produce, it's the mind games they play on patients' mind s which start out vulnerable yet become even more susceptible as soon as the absense of the drug skillsvv masquerading as "medicine"to consume evbery waking thought to no end. And now, following countless years of pharmaceutical abuse,It `

    Here in the Western world, a condition of this magnitude is still treated with a list of resources containing names of similarly-classified medications. In any event, hopelessness was the final straw that capsized my life for good.

    Any yet the truth is I still want more, more, more because the false happiness I feel now is better than the real misery I feel constantly without it.

    I'll die of this one day and the only sensation I feel vibrating in my bones is some random cocktail of disappointment for the life I might've led and relief for putting an end to a future headed nowhere remotely good.

  6. New York City, let's meet up

    Hi @tuneum, welcome to new york. I'm always looking for new friends so feel free to drop me a text anytime! I'm DM you my number, k?
  7. 11 Days Clean

    @Collin Welcome to the forum, given enough time you will feel those human connections again and get back your funny goofy behavior(my wife says I'm almost to goofy lol). You made a good choice to quit and you'll have to pay a small price to get it back but it will be worth it. Just remember why you quit it in the first place, and you said it yourself that the honeymoon phase is over and the positive effects are gone. Just hang in there and post about anything you got going helps me alot to check in and post. Good Luck! -Currently day 51
  8. 11 Days Clean

    @Collin Congrats on 11 days! I’m on day 7 here and just now starting to feel normal as well. Still battling fatigue and depression but at least I’m not cracked out. Keep at it, we can do this!
  9. I am new here and just joined. I have clearly become dependent on my Adderall. I was taking 5mg instant releases every 4 hours, and now I'm at the point where I can take 10mg and go right to sleep. It's not working. I am prescribed 20mg 2x a day, along with 1mg Klonapin 2x a day. I would like to taper off of both of these, but I recognize that this is just an adderall forum. In the past, Adderall worked wonders for me. I clearly have a huge tolerance now. My doctor wrote me a script for 20mg of intstant Release Ritalin 2x a day, but I was scared to get it filled in case it didn't work and I didn't have any back up adderall. I'm not completely clear yet if I want to be adderall free for life, but my therapist tells me to stay in today and just worry about that later. I'm not really sure the best way to taper. Would it be to take 10 mg every 4 hours for a few weeks, then 15mg every for hours for a few weeks, then 10, then 5, then none? I just joined another site to ask about the benzo taper. Any thoughts would be greately appreciated.
  10. Last week
  11. 11 Days Clean

    Hi everybody I’ve been a longtime lurker on this site and I’ve been actively trying to quit for the last year. I was prescribed Adderall xr 20mg 7 years ago when I was a sophomore in high school after a poor performance my freshman year. Having struggled with ADHD my whole life Adderall was a “miracle” drug at first. I could actually get my school work done and I enjoyed doing it my grades reflected that. But as many as you know this honeymoon phase only last for so long. I’ve continued use of this drug for the last 7 years and it no longer effects me in a positive way I've dropped out of college and still been using it on a daily basis. Last year I failed a drug test from my doctor for marijuana and they cut off my prescription. So naturally as a addict I found a new doctor to write a script and picked up my use again. 11 days ago I said enough is enough and quit Adderall, marijuana, and juul cold turkey and have been paying the price. Today is the first day I feel somewhat ok and got decent sleep and even though I’m constantly tired. I never abused my prescription but I did take it everyday for 30 days then I would refill. I would also pair the Adderall with coffee and weed and would get a real ecstasy type effect so I abused it in that sense. I wanna feel human connections again and bring back my funny goofy behavior I had before all the drugs. I hope my story helps someone out there and they can relate!
  12. Update from a long timer

    Thanks for the feed back and support. I’ll consider AA. I was in a group therapy that was every Wednesday but it didn’t really help me stay off alcohol. AA being everyday might be better.
  13. Update from a long timer

    I feel you Sean... We are on about the same timeline... I found in reading that alcohol is also a dopamine promoter and find it surprising that after a few drinks I actually feel "normal" however I have pretty much quit drinking to be as healthy as I can but do drink maybe 1 day a week and its hard not to have a vise. Truly believe there is some long term damage of the reward system from this crap but still functioning and plugging along the best I can. I'd at least try to cut back and skip some days to start and find some balance.. Wish you the best
  14. Update from a long timer

    Yeah man I’m down to try and kick it together. For the last week I’ve cut back on my drinking by a few drinks. If I cold turkey I’d be in really back shape so I’m just going to go with tapering down for the next month or two.
  15. I’d like to share the symptoms I’m having a year after going off adderall and want to see if anyone feels the same. A little back ground on my use. I took adderall for 11 years. During that time I had an awesome life and a successful career at a large company. After having a child, I started to get extreme fatigue. My doctor prescribed me 120mg a day to manage. Working a high stress corporate job, dealing with a bad marriage, having a newborn, and dealing with health issues really started to make life too much. I felt like my adderall stopped working. For the first time, I began to take more than my prescription. I didn’t like the person I was becoming so I quit my job and went for a month to inpatient rehab. I was fortunate to be able to take off a year to deal with the extreme depression. I feel better after a year but the depression still weighs on me. I need to go back to work but I feel like I just don’t care. I don’t care about my weight, my career, and I could just sit back and be a total loser. I have problems concentrating on building a resume. If I am able to get back my awesome job, I’m afraid I can’t do it. All I want to do is sleep. Since I’ve gone off adderall, I’ve had extremely short term memory and even can’t finish my sentences. Ive gained 15 lbs. I’ve been put on 3 prescriptions to manage my anxiety and depression to replace my one prescription of adderall. Antidepressants have weird side effects too. My mind is so foggy. I’m wondering if things would be different now that I’m out of a toxic marriage given I only abused one year. I want my life back. If it continues to make life miserable and I have to continue on like this - I will go back on at a low dose. I feel a lot worse than when I was on adderall. I’m so frustrated because I’m worried that life could be so much easier.
  16. Update from a long timer

    Hey man, I'm a newbie but I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm around 9-10 months clean of adi, but unfortunately my drinking habits have increased since the summer. Part of this is due to my personal circumstances (The GF and I are living at her Mom's temporarily after her Dad died suddenly-- its been chaotic to say the least.) Like you I'm getting back into shape, staying functional with my work for the most part. But I'm sick of the hangovers, sick of the embarrassing moments, sick of having shitty workouts/taking longer to reach my goals etc. I just got back from a wedding this weekend where I drank way too much, made an ass of myself, and had to puke on the side of the road on the way home. Now here I am, drinking again, after finishing my stressful legal work early to catch the Liverpool game. Lets try to kick this together. Maybe taper off of it? If you have any ideas, I'm more than willing to listen.
  17. Update from a long timer

    You can kick it. Lot of crossover between alcoholism and Adderall addiction, although not all Adderallics are alcoholics (though far more of them than realize it, in my experience). AA's worked for me. Clean from all of it 6.5 years. Life has never been better. Not even close. Hit me up if you want to talk. Or just show up at a meeting and honestly share about where you're at. Nothing worse than being in that state of "can't live with it, can't live without it." Hugs and (no) drugs.
  18. Day 300 - Not much to report today other than the usual exhaustion. Just wanted to say I made it to day 300.
  19. Update from a long timer

    Is this the way you felt before adderall maybe? How long did you use for?
  20. Update from a long timer

    Yeah I’m definitely a functioning alcoholic.. I don’t I can kick it, but just like adderall I feel I need a few weeks to just lay around and detox..
  21. Update from a long timer

    @SeanW I’m a newbie around here, but thought I’d drop a line as I know how much it helps me to hear from others on rough days. As an ER nurse, I’ve sadly seen the devastation alcohol can bring to a person both physically and mentally. I’m here to encourage that if you can kick adderall you can kick alcohol. If rehab is an option, even through an ER, go for it. If not, perhaps titrating your drinking down VERY slowly for starters? There are MANY functioning alcoholics, but it’s no way to live and sadly your body can’t handle that forever. Best wishes and good luck!
  22. Hey guys, long time since I’ve been in here to support and receive support. I’ve been clean off adderall now 2.5 years. I moved to town with nothing, was homeless for the first two months. Worked 80 hours a week till I got my place. Now im just working and drinking. I’ve traded my adderall addiction for alcohol unfortunately.. I just don’t know how to have any enjoyment or happiness unless I’m drinking and shooting the shit with people. Otherwise I’m miserable. At least I’ve avoid adderall.. anyways.. I have a guilty conscience for my the situation I’m on as far as alcohol. I pay all my bills, got money for food and fun it I’m not pure. I drink heavily everyday. Idk why I’m even on here or sharing this but anyways. Alll you warriors still fighting through the early days, keep on keeping on. I still workout and eat well and started training mma. I just drink every evening.. anyways, for those who remember me, I miss you guys and for those who don’t I love you guys. Stay strong.
  23. Day 6 and depressed

    @eric Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by, it’s definitely feeling like a ‘Monday’ on this end. I’m glad to know it gets better though! Again, appreciate you stopping by! Congrats to ALMOST 50 days!
  24. Day 6 and depressed

    @NurseAddy CONGRATS ON 1 WEEK DOWN TODAY!!! Hope your having a good day. For a stressful Monday, I'm performing better than I have in years (even when I was on meds). So again just hang in there and realize that stimulants may help a lot in the short term but they screw you over from real happiness in the long run. Good luck and congrats!! - Currently Day 49 :-)
  25. Started off great, recovery now getting harder

    You are similar to the expert)))
  26. I can't believe it's me...

    Now all is clear, I thank for the help in this question.
  27. Feeling Grateful - One Year

    These are all fairy tales!
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