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  1. Today
  2. After using for almost nine years, I realized it was an UNSUSTAINABLE addiction. My future was becoming more and more uncertain. And the more I took, the harsher the side effects became. Adderall just quit working for me like it used to. After that realization, I did a lot of online research, made a plan to quit, set an absolute deadline, established some very substantial penalties for failure, and then followed through with it. I wanted to say it was easy, but no, it was the toughest thing I have ever done. It was also the best thing I have ever done for my health and my life. My life has returned to a "normal" status for the last five years.
  3. Yesterday
  4. What made you quit or want to quit Adderall?

    Last year when I was 42 I had acute vein failure in some of my leg veins. Here is how it went down: One day at work I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden I could feel a lot of downward pressure in my calves. It turns out the blood pressure induced by Adderall plus sitting at my computer for long stretches literally "blew out" the one way valves that transport venous blood return from the body to the heart. There is only one other person on this site who reported the same side effect. She was in her twenties when it happened to her. It was scary and painful. Leaky veins made my ankles swell. I had cankles and could barely walk or even sit in a chair without serious discomfort. I had both small saphanous veins plus some others lasered shut. It fixed the problem temporarily and I thought I could go back on adderall in a smal dose, but when I did get back on adderall, I blew out more veins in my legs. Then I Had to get both large saphanous veins lasered out on the second go round of treatments. Treatments and compression therapy cost me approx six thousand dollars in medical copays and deductibles. Funny that I have what is considered "good health insurance" by American standards. I have been off adderall for almost 10 months now and I just had a check up. My leg veins are stable for now.
  5. Doctors do not demonize SSRI medications but they should. The sucide risk are very high says it even on the bottle doctors tell patients it's only in very very rare cases. Complete bs doctors care less just quick "fixes" and commissions. Doctors do not care about health they do very little education on any prevention it's only after something happens they claim to have a cure. But normally the cure has so many horrible side effects it leaves you in a worse place. Just listen to commercials for any new drug the hits the market none of them sound like anything I'd ever want to take after hearing the disclaimer. But yet doctors always tell people those risk are very very rare it surely won't happen to you. But of course if it does the doctor will say you knew it had some side effect risk your one of the "rare" ones. People are quick to donate buy a ribbon or whatever to support cancer research. That money goes to pharmaceutical research labs there's a profit based system. Prevention is not their priority finding a drug they can get someone by that will cost a lot is their main goal . How about spending that money towards cancer prevention research? Why did I quit? Because I was poising my body and knew it from day one. Has quitting resolved my issues? Well I'm not dead pretty sure the direction I was heading so yes guess it has. If your so gullible to think anyone with ADD or not should have amphetamines daily then you are just overlooking the obvious. I looked up some listed side effects with amphetamines does not even include the long term stuff we deal with. Of course most side effects by the drug companies all claim "rare" "incidence not known" they say these things to give a false sense of security. Must people feel we won't be that one that's someone else, but the reality is if they did testimg for more than one month to get passed by the FDA I'm sure these side effects sure wouldn't be so rare. The term "Incidence not known" definition 'They know it happened but they didn't keep count. These are usually the ones where a few people have reported it, but nothing was found in controlled studies.' That's is bullshit many reported it but drug companies deny it since it did not show in their studies for the FDA Here is a list from the drug companies about amphetamines ... Rare Seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there severe mental changes Incidence not known Agitation blurred vision confusion diarrhea dizziness false or unusual sense of well-being fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse fever headache nervousness overactive reflexes pounding in the ears restlessness shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet shivering slow or fast heartbeat sweating talking or acting with excitement you cannot control trouble sleeping twitching, twisting, or uncontrolled repetitive movements of the tongue, lips, face, arms, or legs uncontrolled vocal outbursts or tics (uncontrolled repeated body movements) Get emergency help immediately if any of the following symptoms of overdose occur while taking amphetamine: Symptoms of overdose Abdominal or stomach cramps dark-colored urine dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position fainting muscle cramps or spasms muscle pain or stiffness nausea seizures sweating unusual tiredness or weakness ( I do want to say I know not all doctors are money hungry ignorant pricks who don't care. Actually have a good friend who is a doctor does a lot of good just spent months in Iraq volunteering helping out victims of war. Now in Florida helping with the hurricane and about to heat to Puerto Rico . He won't even take aspirin if he has a headache, never use a antibiotics saw him at home sick for weeks told him take some damn antibiotics he said no it will pass. I'm sure his patience probably hate him he would hardly ever prescribe anything unless it's the absolute last option.)
  6. For me I did have in in the back of my mind that one day I would quit however it wasn't until it was seeming to be less effective and I researched that aspect. Upon researching addderall further I found a lot of bad articles that are pretty scary, there is really nothing you can find that "supports" Adderall health wise. My doctor believes "I need it" and would likely increase my does and write a script without question if I asked. I have quit (near 4mo now) however it's still a struggle adapting without it so it apparently was doing something and now without it I am still struggling to find normal sleep and a full week without some really low energy days and anxiety. Plus mild tremors since I quit... I have zero desire to go back despite the symptoms. If anything can make me feel this bad without it I REALLY don't want to take it! I feel I have made some progress in recovery however the steps are so small that unless I had written a daily journal are hard to pinpoint. I wish I had
  7. I'm curious what made other people quit or think about quitting Adderall. Why? It's hard to find Dr's or medical info that demonize it and so much info hails it, so what made you feel you needed to quit or want to quit? AND, if you quit, did quitting rectify your issue or problem?
  8. Last week
  9. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    Do you have any retired family members whom you can confide in and ask them to come stay with you for a while to help you through the transition. Maybe a grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent, distant cousin or even a friend who is in between jobs. Is there anyone you can recruit to come help you get through the first month or two. If not then have you considered an in patient rehab facility? Your job sounds like the kind that comes with Heath insurance. Find out if in patient rehab is an option for you. It's not like you are taking advantage of the situation or trying to skirt work - you need legitimate help. And you deserve some help to get through this. Our big boss man is out on FMLA right now and we are all concerned for him and no one knows why he is out we just know he is sick. He will be gone for another two months. That could be you getting the very real break that you need. There is someone on here who went to in patient rehab and if you search rehab you can probably find her story. I wish I had gone to rehab instead of trying to tough it out at work. I can relate to so much of your story. I finally got married for the first time at age 38. You are going to get through this. It won't be easy as you already know but you have been successful in other areas of your life and seem like the kind of person who can do this. It may take longer than one month to feel better but you will feel better if you give it time, I promise. Hang in there.
  10. Hand Termors

    Yeah I drank a bit heavy years ago at the end of my many bad days however that was over a year ago since my last drink. That was the first thing I quit. No tremor that I recall while drinking or quitting. They are constant however definitely increase significantly with anxiety which has definetly been an issue since stopping the Adderall.
  11. LOS ANGELES

    I will be in San Diego October 24th-29th for a work conference. Would love to meet up with any QA friends in the area
  12. Hand Termors

    I definitely experienced tremors, in both my hands and feet. However, I think mine were mostly alcohol related as I was drinking an obscene amount of alcohol to ease the comedown.. they went away almost immediately after quitting.,.
  13. Hand Termors

    I know not everyone has experienced tremors quitting Adderall however unfortunately I am one of them. I am thinking "maybe" I also had them slightly toward the last few months of using however was also drinking coffee and they were very mild. Now quitting they are pretty much consistently there in both hands. Not always noticeable enough to bother me however if I hold my fingers out in front of me I see them dance in a high frequency fashion a bit almost side to side while spread apart. It rarely affects my ability to do anything unless I get anxious or post workout I could mistype keys more easily or just have that uneasy shaky feeling. I have been considering a neurologist appt. however also want to give my body more time to readjust. Can anyone else explain their tremors? Did you have them while on Adderall or Off and were they similar to my description? How long until they went away after quitting or did they?
  14. Hitting One Month w No Adderall

    Sorry, internet connection at my house is ridiculously nonexistent and lately zero motivation to even attempt to get online. Now feels like nothing is working, plus husband was home during Irma (usually he's out of town) and we ate worse and drank, and I stopped walking the dog as much. Walked 3 miles yesterday, but been a rough spell. And I know it has 100% to do with food and drink I am or am not putting in my body AND exercising, easy to get off track and then feel defeated, which is a bad place to be. Wanting to want to start working out! And toyed with getting on an antidepressant again, took myself off Wellbutrin 4 years ago ....Who knows , hope you are doing well.
  15. Self Love

    I'm currently about 25 days since my last pill. I am feeling extremely tempted to call the doctor for a refill. Years of abuse has prevented me from learning how to cope with well, life really. Whenever I'm faced with something challenging or overwhelming I feel as if I can't do it alone ( aka sober). I'm in a tough position right now, I have no job and my husband is out of the country for his work. I managed to stay off of adderall for around 50 days prior to relapsing. Recovering from that relapse has been a lot harder than I anticipated. I feel so much better without it and I hate that I have been thinking about it lately. My sleep schedule is finally normalizing. Food intake is better but I'm probably still over eating. I'm more personable, stable, and kind. I was reading through old messages between my husband and I and my ability to become mean and aggressive was alarming. Being on adderall made me mean and cruel. I was never affectionate with my husband and I was so moody. Being off of it I have rediscovered parts of myself that I had forgotten exsisited. Like the fact that I'm super goofy and silly. I can relax, take a nap when my body needs to, I've stopped grinding my teeth, my shoulder pain is gone, I can look people in the eyes. My digestive system is a million times healthier. I Had an addictive father and grew up in a volatile environment. I am a very insecure person. During my first attempt at quitting I realized I didn't love myself. I'm trying real hard to practice self love. To me, loving myself means I am good enough without drugs. That I deserve to be fed nutritious foods, and exercise. I want to care enough about myself to do those things. Another thing I started during doing my first attempt to quit was exercise. I used to love to exercise and be active. On adderall I was too busy to do it. And My heart rate would get up to 200bpm. Yesterday was my first real day back in the gym since my relapse. It's crazy how fast your body looses muscle when you're not using them. Anyways, it was a good challenge and I am sore today! Sorry for all the rambling. Just needed to write down how I'm currently feeling. I was tempted at the start of writing this but now I am not. I can and will do hard things.
  16. I have been, no, was on adderrall for 12 years. For the first 7 or 8 years it wasn't a problem but the last 4 plus years of abusing it has cost me dearly. I have lost my personality, caused pain to those who love me most, seen my mental health deteriorate, and have lost the ability to enjoy things and feel genuine happiness. Like others I have tried to taper down, but I agree with those that say cold turkey is the best way to go. I always made the excuse that due to bills and other obligations I had to stay the course and keep using. However, I finally realized I was losing my life to the effects of long term use and abuse of adderrall and I had rather lose my home than my life or to continue a life addicted. My therapist diagnosed me as bi-polar a couple years ago, but I knew what he did not, that the abuse of adderrall was at the heart of the matter and made it appear to those who didnt know my secret that I was bipolar. I have a long and rough road ahead of me. For so long I felt deep down I was heading down a tunnel with no light, just continuous darkness. At least after cutting my Dr and access off I can see a shimmer of light at the of that tunnel. I know it will take months and maybe years, but each day I will be a little closer to my old self. I appreciate all the posts and information on this site as it has been very helpful and Im sure it will continue to be as I weather the coming storm.
  17. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    Thank you to all of you guys! I definitely appreciate the advice so much. Heres another part to my story and an additional question. So i just moved to a new state and started a new job, like I said, I just got a new primary care doc, who I think will help me quit. I'll probably get on Wellbutrin to quit. My real concern with quitting is the depression. I'm terrified to live alone with depression, especially this post- adderall addiction depression. I'm worried because I know how I can get without adderall, I'm worried I'll call into work or oversleep and not show up. I care so much about my job and my reputation at work, but when I'm far down, I don't care at all. I feel like I almost need someone living with me that I wouldn't want to disappoint in order to actually get up and go to work. And to pay bills and do normal things. Living alone and living your life alone is so hard. Sometimes when I haven't had adderall in a few weeks, I almost get suicidal because of how hard it is to motivate myself to clean my house, take a shower, go to work and give it my best, do something productive with my day after work, and do it all over again. I spend so much time alone. At work, im at a desk all day. I'm a people person for sure and I need people in my life. I'm just so worried I won't make it during the withdrawal. Any advice?
  18. 4mo Off and Up and Down Days?

    Thank you Tom! I had a couple really good days at the end of last week with exercise incorporated. Then yesterday I went for a run first thing and some weights and pretty much struggled and crashed the rest of the day after that. I think as my body adjusts and gives me those couple "good days" I need to hold back a little to leave more for the next 3-4. Almost like the dopamine storage runs out or something.
  19. Almost 4mo off and miserable

    Thank you bluemoon. I don't expect an overnight fix so reassurance that this timeline is normal does help the anxiety of it all. I have been making notes and logging my good and bad days and anything signicant I do different like exercise or change in diet. Not sure it will help however if I could identify some sort regularity or warning timeline that causes my really bad days it would be helpful. Not sure if it is rated or not to this process however digestion seems to perform about the same way now. All can be consistently normal a few days then suddenly after eating any meat chicken will get abnormal gas and a steak will cause the same with a day or two of constipation...
  20. Guilt Ridden

    If you gave it to him after you quit then you should feel guilty and sorry anybody on here holding pills after you quit and hand them out to "friends" you are a pos. Before you quit u thought then it was the answer like all of us. Help him do what? Clean his house? Organize his homework not sure what your saying he wants you to do? If he needs help quitting sure definitely give 100% effort but if he needs you to be his mommy clean up his mess screw that tell him what's up and he should quit like you did.
  21. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    As far as relationships go, you will never meet someone of quality when you are on adderall. It is the relationship killer. Give yourself a break. Stop taking it and see a therapist for the depression and anxiety. You will get through this. It will get better. Do not be afraid.
  22. Don't give up on yourself. Invest in yourself. Start exercising again. It will help with everything.
  23. Guilt Ridden

    Hi Everyone, I've been off Adderall for about 9 months and I'm doing fine, but before I quit I gave about 10, 20mg pills to a friend who was showing his film at a major film festival and I though he needed it to keep up. He was really overweight and low energy and needed an extra burst of energy to keep up with all the screenings/press stuff and parties for networking. He doesn't and has never suffered from ADD. Fast forward a year and he has become addicted to it, has lost about 120 pounds and has alienated most of his close friends, seriously compromised his relationship with his family and has burned bridges professionally. He is someone who has had panic disorder and narcissistic traits for as long as I've known him but both have become much worse since he started taking adderall. He also never shuts up and seems unaware that other people have their own lives to live. I won't abandon our friendship since I feel partly responsible for what is happening to him, but I'm not sure how to help him. I quit adderall because of the horrible side effects and I took a very low dose. He has asked me this week to help him, because, ironically he has become very scattered and can't seem to get his shit together and needs someone to help him get some stuff off his plate. I'm wondering from all of you if you have had symptoms like his where the drug backfires and makes you less organized? I'm also wondering if there is anything I can do to convince him that he is not a better version of himself that he seems to be convinced of. Does this happen to people who abuse adderall who don't suffer from ADD? Any general advice on how to move forward?
  24. Great things about not taking adderall

    Money I save from filling scripts and doctors visits not to mention kicking my pain pill habit at the same time which was very expensive.
  25. Almost 4mo off and miserable

    4 months is still VERY early in recovery. Everything you're feeling/experiencing is totally normal. The entire first year is super rough no matter which way you look at it.
  26. Great things about not taking adderall

    Naps Not constantly thinking about Adderall, or how I will get my next prescription Being able to look people in the eye
  27. Great things about not taking adderall

    Being able to actually sleep is pretty awesome. Not always counting pills and/or days until my next refill offers quite the peace of mind also.
  28. Great things about not taking adderall

    I can take full deep breaths and relax.
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