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  1. Today
  2. Seattle WA

    Hey! I live in Capitol Hill, and I'm looking for a local support network here in Seattle. I'm about three months deep into quitting, so I'm over the really tough hump, but I'm bracing for future cravings and could really use some friends going through the same thing as me. Message me if you want to meet up sometime! Erica America
  3. Advice for quitting a third time

    @Catherine1, I'm almost to month four, and I can't say the mental fog has completely cleared, but I can say the AMOUNT of fog has drastically decreased. Sometimes I'm not sure if it's actually "fog" or if it's just the fact that I was on this drug for 11 years, and I just straight up have no idea who the heck I am now (which is actually a little scarier to me). I'd expect to feel more mental clarity in about 2-4 weeks, once the amphetamine is actually out of your body. Try to remember that just like a healthy diet+exercise routine takes some time to truly see results, quitting something like this that is so mentally and physically addictive will just take patience with yourself and time. But if you do it the right way, just like a proper diet, the results/new, healthy way of living can last a lifetime. I'd suggest looking in to some vitamin supplements that improve brain functionality and focus. If you take this little quiz thing here, they'll suggest some good supplements, but you can just buy them on Amazon or at the grocery store vs. buying from that site once you get their recommendations. And taking melatonin at night really helped me get back to a normally sleeping human. The sleep will help clear the fog, too, because the brain does a lot of replenishing when you sleep. I always felt like I was kind of "beating the system" when I could be up for days on end, but the harsh reality is that I was paying a physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental toll for that surface-level, "super human" (eye roll) strength. Nothing comes without a cost. But no matter how hard it gets, try to take a moment to feel proud that you are making this life-changing decision NOW, not later. That's such a huge step dude. And everyone in this forum knows how hard even getting to this point can be. Maybe you could try writing a gratitude list of things you're thankful of either throughout the day or at the end of the day to remind you of the beautiful things you're finally seeing again -- even through the fog. Sending love!
  4. Advice for quitting a third time

    Yes! I’m starting to love those things again. Sleeping is hard right now but the eating is super easy lol. A little too much haha
  5. Advice for quitting a third time

    Thank you @soberica_18 for the support and advice! <3 hearing how well your doing is inspiring! is scary to say the least, the anxiety is horrible right now. I didn’t sleep much last night b/c I was worrying about my return to work, if I’ll be able handle it, how I’ll be happy again etc. My friend told me to not worry and we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. That’s a good idea about CMA! I’ve gone to an NA meeting with my friend, but I think CMA would be better given our drug of choice. It is nice to know I’m not alone. How long did it take before the mental fog went away? I’ll send you a message after I sleep for a bit lol, I feel a sleep deprivation headache coming on. Thank you again for the support and advice! I really appreciate it!
  6. Advice for quitting a third time

    well said! the things in life i love? eating and sleeping
  7. acetylcholine trial and error

    @EricP my only experience with acetylcholine was while experimenting with nootropics and piracetam. my understanding is that taking a racetam without a ACh supplement can cause headaches and other issues, possibly because the racetam requires more of it to work effectively? not sure how ACh supplements would work outside of this context.
  8. acetylcholine trial and error

    i'm horrified at myself sometimes, thinking back how reckless a driver i was on adderall- i was on my phone 90% of the time while driving, and not just "texting". doing shit like rearranging playlists, downloading stuff.. it's a miracle i never killed someone or myself. i did get pulled over once for swerving, dead of the night on a turnpike. i must have been tweaked out of my mind (as usual), but the officer simply accepted my "just tired" explanation. maybe if that had gone another way, i might have been off this shit far sooner.
  9. Too long!

    I had a buddy got in a motorcycle wreck deer ran out in front of him he was cruising about 60 mph. He was a complete mess bad road rash a broken rib or two etc. He was never addicted to pain pills but has a lot of close friends fell victims to them. Anyways at the hospital he refused morphine and any pain medication stronger than Advil. He simply did not want to risk becoming what his friends became. He is also one tough sob to me that’s some inspiration. Hopefully if I was ever faced with a similar situation I could be that strong to say no. I know saying yes where that will prob take me. Suggest anyone on here to do the same if possible avoid taking pain pills at all cost. To me pain pills were what give me that lost euphoria feeling in my last couple years taking adderall. It’s very similar and does give a boost of energy also. I recall finally realizing I had one fucked up problem got a couple bottles of liquid codeine from somewhere, taste was aweful but I loved it. I was working in my shop on some big project was drinking Red Bull & vodka drinks , popping adderall downing them with shots of codeine every couple hours for like 48 hrs straight. I’m really amazed I never overdosed pretty sure if I took all that now I’d die. I’m also surprised I never chopped my hand off working with power saws etc with no sleep and hopped up on all that. But doing all that finally realized holy shit wtf have a become? Knew from that point I was either going to quit addy and pain meds or I would die.
  10. acetylcholine trial and error

    If I blacked out behind the wheel from binging on addy for days could have killed someone and actually been in prison. I’d rather take this penalty and should consider myself lucky. Yes it fucking sucks at times but could always be worse.
  11. Yesterday
  12. Advice for quitting a third time

    I've found tremendous hope and success by going to Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and even Crystal Meth Anonymous (cuz, c'mon, chemically, adderall is probably the closest to meth if we're being honest here) in order to access a proven, 12-step program that has actually worked for countless addicts before. Granted, I'm only 90 days deep in giving up adderall, but as a user for more than 11 years, eventually using up to 150+mg every day for maybe 2-3 years of that time, 90 days is a miracle for me. I've given up every drug and all alcohol; I've gone to a one-hour meeting (sometimes two or three) every day since I've been clean; I have a sponsor; I'm working the steps; and I am more confident every day that I will never use adderall again. I've got a resume full of skills I don't enjoy doing and a job I can't stand, and even though it's tough finding my place in this world without adderall, I'm confident that at the end of my life, when I look back on this decision, I will not regret it. Life is about love, happiness, noticing the blue sky, hearing the birds sing, actually being moved by music, laughter, and passion. When you do adderall, it makes all the things that suck in life great, but the caveat is that it makes all the great things in life suck. Even though it sounds super intense, Crystal Meth Anonymous is honestly where I've felt the most at home and with people who are going through an addiction that is just as strong as mine. I'm so thankful for this site because it makes me feel like not as much of a fiend/addict. It's good to see how many others out there are fighting the good fight. Message me if you want any AA, NA, CMA tips or tips on getting a sponsor or just wanna chat about how scary it is to be finding yourself again as an ex-adderallic. <3
  13. acetylcholine trial and error

    Paying the piper , prison is a good way to put it
  14. acetylcholine trial and error

    Bendryl knocks me out. Do your research find out the trick we need you’ll be a hero! I’ve pretty much given up thinking supplements and diet will ever be the answer. Every time I find something I think is working the placebo effect wears off and back to the drawling board. Guess really only time alone heals it’s like a 2-4 yr mental prison sentence we all must pay for the years of abuse we did to ourselves.
  15. After a little experimenting with supplements I have discovered a few things about brain fog. Reading many sites will encourage supplements or a diet containing a high choline to help boost acetylcholine which increases memory, focus and cognitive function. So I tried it... And for me it made it 5 times WORSE. So then I read about having too much acetylcholine and the effects are listed about the same as I experienced using these supplements. So it turns out if dopamine is at a low then acetylcholine tends to be high actually causing a negative effect. Since there is no easy way to boost dopamine without adderall or other prescription methods I decided to stop the choline supplements or any supplement that aids choline; as well as some caution in my diet. While still having the same tiredness and lack of motivation I have noticed a pretty obvious fog lift in mental function. I will continue to experiment and report back however this far this has proven to be pretty useful for me. Also supposedly taking benadryl will also block acetylcholine however in past experience it has a drowsy effect so not sure I will try that just yet. Just though I would share...
  16. Advice for quitting a third time

    Way to go! I’m proud of you too!! Keep it up you can do this!!
  17. Second attempt at quitting failed

    Oh the struggle! Made it past day 3! Feeling less shitty haha! How you doing?
  18. Advice for quitting a third time

    Feeling shitty but Made it past day 3!! I’m extremely proud! Yesterday I had intense cravings to use but my friend talked me down and I pushed through. Thank you all for the support. I could’nt have made it through these last few days without all of you! Right now I feel extremely anxious and restless uhh! At least I’m not feeling like I’m going to die like I was a few days ago. Hopefully it’s onwards and upwards from here!
  19. Last week
  20. Second attempt at quitting failed

    Hey, guys! I was prescribed adderall when I was 15, and I've been taking it until about three months/90 days ago. I'm 26 now. While there's no specific "anonymous" 12-step group for solely adderall, I've found AMAZING hope and a program that really works by going to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous groups, getting a sponsor, and going through the steps. If anyone wants to know any more about some of the MANY things I've put in place to ensure I keep going down this life path adderall-free forever, please let me know. I'd be happy to share advice/tips for anyone that is curious. Sending love and empathy out to all of you who are trying to quit adderall. I don't think people who haven't taken it consistently for a while can truly understand how lost one can feel after building an entirely seperate life as a person you don't recognize (a person on adderall). I'm dealing with a job I don't enjoy now that I'm not on adderall, and I'm slowly but surely learning to rediscover my passion. I by no means have all of the answers, and the tips I have are far from perfect, but I know that at the end of my life, I'm not going to regret the decision to stop working my life away on things that didn't truly matter. Love and happiness and going with the flow are all rewards that I've seen (even in just three months), and I can't go back to my old ways -- even if it means underperforming at work for a bit. Haha. With Love, Erica
  21. Second attempt at quitting failed

    aw okay thank you! and congrats xx
  22. Second attempt at quitting failed

    SO TRUE. I have failed twice but I did learn so much each time about why I was relapsing and what I could do differently next time. thank you.
  23. Second attempt at quitting failed

    I agree. Having said that, if you keep relapsing, ask yourself this one simple question before you attempt your next quit: "What am I going to do different this time?" If the answer is "nothing", then get ready for the same miserable results. Very few on here have quit and stay quit without preparing for significant disruption at least the first few months after quitting. It also pays to let your family in on what's going on. They may be able to help in ways you won't necessarily expect. You're addicted to amphetamines. Act accordingly.
  24. New Dream Job...No More Adderall. Help Please

    We’re in very similar situations, and oddly enough, I’m living in Boston now and have resolved to quit this month as well. The biggest difference is that I’m going to remain at the same company while I end my dependence on adderall. In order to advance in my career I need to be more face-forward to work with our executives and investors, but adderall has singnificantly hindred my ability to interact naturally. In fact it’s been bad for every social aspect of my life. I could have said that I’m happy with my position as it is now, and carried on as I’ve been, but I would have been lying to them and more importantly myself. Therefore I decided to give up adderall. I have been preparing since early February by working with my primary care doctor to slowly reduce the dosage and increase the number of days that I don’t take it at all. I’m not sure if you had an opportunity to do the same, but you are fortunate to have some time off while going through this moment. If you’re like me you might think this moment will last forever, but also honestly believe that this moment will seem incredibly brief, and transformative in the most positive of ways, some years from now. I’ve already noticed that I’m smiling a lot more, have been socializing and sympathizing with my coworkers, and am even having lunch with them more often. In the end I think this is what is the most important, will make my bonds with them grow, and even get me through this. My journey however has only just begun. I’ll try to keep you posted if you like. Best of luck!! I’m completely certain that you/I are making the right choice!
  25. Second attempt at quitting failed

    Don’t beat yourself up too much. I’ve learned the less critical you are about failing to quit the harder it will be to find the strength to finally quit. You’re going to fail some of the time. What you do with that failure is what really matters. Each relapse I had (way more than 2) I knew something new about my patterns of use. Try to recognize that. Fail for a third time? Try again. Fail for a fourth? Try again. Best of luck.
  26. Take Your Pills

    Fuck that those college students 5-10 yrs from now will be on here crying they want to stop.
  27. Take Your Pills

    Man fuck that documentary. Has me contemplating future use.
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