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  1. Yesterday
  2. I have reached a new level of addiction

    "Took care of" as in completed killed. I'm saying that adderall and blood pressure medicine both contributed to performance issues. BUT flash forward to now, he's 62, off adderall for 26 months now, exercising, back to his ideal weight, off all blood pressure medicine and functional again. I would also add that less than a year into his adderall use our relationship deteriorated so much that it ceased to be an issue anyway.
  3. I have reached a new level of addiction

    Did the blood pressure medicine help him enjoy sex again or are you saying Adderall ruined his sex life forever?
  4. I have reached a new level of addiction

    I'm guessing you all are a lot younger but adderall plus the blood pressure medicines (plural) Mr Oswhidhad to get on due to taking the adderall pretty much took care of the sex thing. He was 49 and fit when he got on it. This is what you guys have to look forward to.
  5. I have reached a new level of addiction

    i wish i had better advice on disconnecting the sex stuff. for me, it was kind of a natural disconnection because when i stopped taking adderall i lost a dramatic amount of interest in a lot of things, sex included. i was still having it, but didn't start enjoying it again for a couple of months. that could also be very different for males and females. it sounds like you simply haven't been off adderall long enough to let this natural disconnection happen. you really need to stay off this stuff for at least a month, then reassess your thoughts on sex. i think you said in an earlier post that the longest you were off it was 3 months last year. what drove you back? was it sex? the bottom line is this: you'll probably have to not enjoy sex for a while. but i think this is a fair trade to save your life.
  6. TWO YEARS :)

    As cliche as it sounds, by just taking it one day at a time. Every time things would get difficult, I would ask myself 'Can i get through today, just today?' And the answer was always yes, so that is what I would do. Projecting too far out into the future would send me into a downward spiral. My life was an absolute disaster when I first quit, and I truly did not see how I was going to pull myself out of the situation. If you just continue moving in the right direction, you are going to eventually get where you want to go, but staying in the moment is so important for your sanity. Also accepting that things might get worse before they get better- committing to staying quit no matter what happens. You have to think long term when it comes to the recovery process because it really is a multi year affair, unfortunately. But, we are so lucky to have a community of people who have already gone through the process and can assure us that what we are experiencing is normal and that things DO get better. Stay close to the boards and check in often, you can do this too
  7. One Word Status Update

    Omg Lil Tex!! I just passed my motorcycle road test that same weekend too!! What are the odds? Lol. Congrats on 4 months. Hope you are feeling well. xo
  8. TWO YEARS :)

    For me was very rough... It’s still is not easy however you have to just power thru it one day at a time and the less your mind wanders the better...
  9. TWO YEARS :)

    Thank you so much Nicole! Needed that!
  10. Last week
  11. TWO YEARS :)

    How did you deal with the first year?
  12. I have reached a new level of addiction

    I feel that I am at stage 5 with some characteristics of stage 6. But it is not always negative effects. I have found that I am able to quit 4-5 days with only minor difficulty if I have something to look forward to on the 5th/6th day (like an expected enhanced sexual experience - which is a core reason I take Adderall). Also even on days where I am craving it, I am able to not take it if I have some social responsibility in which taking it would cause harm to the task. So am I at stage 5? I am not sure. I am able to control it somewhat, but on day 3 or 4 it starts getting really difficult again for me. I don't really know. What does it seem to you? Okay, how did you disconnect the sex from Adderall? I'd love some pointers, because it often feels that I barely enjoy sex without it. I am open to any advice you can give me here.
  13. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    i think it depends how you define " very excessive adderall use". what "very excessive" sounds like to me is a lack of self-control, which means tapering is probably not going to work unless you have someone else dispense your pills as @EricP suggested. that's nothing to be ashamed of though. most of us are here because of a lack of self-control. cold turkey will certainly be more brutal, but unfortunately it's the only option for some of us. FWIW, on days i used to take less adderall than what i was used to, i'd feel worse than if i didn't take any at all, but that effect may depend once again on how much you were taking. gl!
  14. TWO YEARS :)

    Thanks Frank! Hope you are doing well! I don't see you around much these days but I'm guessing it is for that very reason. I am big on reminding myself of the hell that is adderall recovery too. I definitely lurk in the shadows around here but should post more. Hope your year 3 gets even better and keep us updated Thank you so much!! Hope you are well I was still super shaky at 1 year and very uncertain of the future. Everything you're going through is still completely normal, and you will be amazed at at the difference a year can make. Most of the things I mentioned were happening at 18 months and beyond so stick with it! Making it as far as you have is a huge accomplishment so don't downplay that. Keep us posted on your progress!
  15. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    I quit twice first time cold turkey failed after one month. The second time tapered down but under three months and been off it now for over 2.5 yrs. I can’t say which is best but only thing that matters is once u decide which day is your last that’s it no safety net toss away your stash, burn your future scripts and burn bridges with your doctor.
  16. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    3rd attempt isn't too bad. Took me till bout my 15th attempt.
  17. TWO YEARS :)

    Great to hear Nicole! I am at about 1yr 1mo... I can barely imagine some of your accomplishments! That is so great! At 1yr mind is still pretty muddy, I can find the focus to get thru each day but to imagine buying a new house or new job feels so out of reach now I cannot even invision it. I also still have a myriad of physical symptoms however have been doing somewhat better. I am getting a lot more done at home and work and not just sitting around waiting to feel better. I am not sure if it is true “recovery” or just me finally being frustrated of being over focused on every symptom and just allowing myself to power thru it. Sometimes I will be having a good day and if a weird symptom pops up and if I allow my anxiety and mind to wander it drops my to a low again... Mind over matter it seems at this stage.. hoping most of the symptoms are near gone at 2yr!
  18. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    I did cold turkey and it was brutal... If I went back in time I think I would have first tried taking some “Holliday’s” days off thru the week that I could test my ability to be off of it then after a couple weeks try just 2/3 to 1/2 of normal dose and slowly cut 1/4-1/3 from there a week at a time... Since you have failed before and you are high dose it sounds like a good option for you. If this doesn’t work you will need to get your doctor in the loop to cut off your supply and flush your pills. You need to have extra willpower to taper as pills will be accessible. Maybe have a friend or family hold and give your each days dose...?
  19. Cold Turkey or Taper Down

    Getting ready for my 3rd attempt at getting clean for very excessive adderall use. Just wanted to get input on if people have found more success just cutting it off overnight/going cold turkey or trying to taper off over a certain period of time? Thank you in advance for the input. Anxiety now is very high - with this being my 3rd attempt I’m less confident in my ability to get success this time.
  20. TWO YEARS :)

    ^ this, this, this!! (: so happy for you, congrats on 2 years!
  21. TWO YEARS :)

    Well done Nicole! I am a few months ahead of you and I feel the same about year one and two. Year three is going well so far but I am still on here quite a bit, I think it may just be habit and to remind myself of how shitty recovery was so I can enjoy being off Adderall even more. I also like to help others that are just starting out. Anyway, keep checking in and enjoy life!
  22. TWO YEARS :)

    Congrats on your second year glad you doing well!
  23. TWO YEARS :)

    Hey QA friends! I can't believe I've finally made it to the elusive 2 year mark. I can see why a lot of people's activity on the forums seems to taper off at this point. I would say life is back to normal, or at least a new normal where my thoughts of adderall are few and far in between. I can't even begin to describe how starkly different years 1 and 2 were from each other. Year 1: depressed, suicidal, isolated, hopeless, seemingly endless weight gain Year 2: Feel natural motivation and happiness, have true and honest relationships, working towards and achieving goals- got a promotion, bought a house, studied for and crushed GMAT, applied to grad school and am starting MBA next month. Basically, i finally have all the things adderall promised but never delivered. A huge thank you to everyone on this site who has been with me on this crazy journey. I absolutely could not have done it without the support of this community and am forever grateful. Hope everyone is well and adderall free!!
  24. Earlier
  25. i think its fair to say that there aren't any shortcuts to rewiring your brain when it comes to things that require discipline- chores, work, etc. this is simply a matter of teaching yourself that reward comes after work, not before. but when it comes to pleasurable things like hobbies and interests, i think that focusing on new experiences can be a lot more rewarding than struggling to enjoy things that you used to enjoy on adderall. it's probably especially tough for you given how long you were on adderall, it might seem like some of the core things about your personality and interests are "gone". i would say for the time being, let them go and try to exploit the natural excitement of novelty in life (:
  26. One Word Status Update

    Passed..... Motorcycle test today...just learned how to ride one in the past 48 hours. OMG. Excited to get a bike! 4 months today too since quitting EVERYTHING.
  27. I keep trying to remind myself that almost 20 years is a long time to be on any medication and it formed many habits and thought processes that aren't necessarily congruent with my true nature and getting back on course may take some time...something that is so 180 from the adderall thought process of "pop a pill" and it will come attitude. I know I am a better friend, sibling, wife off adderall... I spend a lot of time alone and on adderall it was easier because it was like I wasn't alone. So now I need to figure out what to do with myself...20 years later. I just struggle with is it too late now....
  28. Absolutely. It's funny though - the parts I was worried about giving up are parts now I realize were REALLY offputting to people. They like me a lot more now. And I've learned I'm FAR more effective in business and my personal life actually engaging with people, not just talking at/over them. For sure. Meditation helps. But re-orienting outside the cycle of jacked up then crashing is difficult. For me, it's had far-reaching implications, from how I eat, sleep, activity, etc. Takes a lot of trial and error and working through frustration. But that means you're on the right path! I'd say for a lot of us, I had to give up the illusion that I could control who I'd become on the other side of all this. And THANK GOD, because I'm becoming a man far better than I would have been if things had worked out the way I "planned."
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