Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!

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9 and 10, check check- I can't believe how much better life feels, I feel like I've wasted a year and a half of my life, but finally I feel like I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to get through this

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I'm feeling great- but I had a close call today and I'm feeling bad about it. It's been 22 days and after week 1 which was miserable, my entire life has been better- honest to g-d it's that dramatic. Yet today while at work I felt an urge for a pill and while I don't have any, I know a colleague that does and I asked him for one. Thankfully he didn't have, but if he did there is no doubt in my mind I would have taken it and led myself down the rabbit hole I just worked 3 weeks for and I know with all my heart is what's best. I'm scared of myself tonight- which is a bizarre feeling to have

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I'm glad you didn't cave.  I totally know the feeling of being afraid of yourself.  I highly recommend taking precautions to make sure you can't get any from your colleague in the future.  Can you just explain to them the situation?

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:)   yup

 

was waiting for 30 days to chime in!

 

Thanks for thinking of me!

 

No room for relapse.  Gotta sing tomorrow night!

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Send me the video if you want.  I would love to see it!

 

I auditioned for a role in a theater play on Sunday.  I am still hoping that I get the role.  Fingers crossed. 

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30 days confirmed.... well kinda.  Today is technically day 30 but my ticker says its been one month (february is gonna be february) so screw it I'll jump the gun a bit early.

 

Have been so distracted by new passion that I have hardly thought of adderall.  Pair that with the fact that I've got no access even if I wanted, and I really feel set up for success.

 

I regret my relapse greatly but I hope that a year down the road I can look back and remember the lesson that it taught me: it doesn't matter how long I'm clean for. I will always be viciously addicted to amphetamines.  One is too many, 1000 is not enough.

 

Thanks again everyone for your continued understanding and support.  Took me about 4 months to bounce back from the relapse, but I'm finally back on track!

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Very Good, Grumpycat.  That lesson you learned will be key to your success.  I learned the same lesson about nicotine before I quit Adderall which is why I only had to quit once.  I don't know how many cigarette relapses to took me to finally learn that lesson, but my cigarette Quit was also successful when I coupled it up with quitting Adderall.  It is a universal truth about addiction...that it only takes one lapse...one mistake...one moment of hubris thinking that you can handle it this time...just ONE little fucking pill... to bring on a relapse with all the guilt and depression that comes with it.  "once you have crossed the line into addiction, there is no going back to controlled use and the addiction will always return" or something like that from the book "Unchain Your Brain".   Now if you could only decide on what screen name you want to go by.....cat vs. dog

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14 days off ritalin - (there isn't a great forum like this for ritalin so I hope it's ok I'm here)... I only abused it a short while 3 mo.  60mg a day or so...

 

I feel so very, very depressed.  

 

But day 14!

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absolutely.  I think the addictive properties of most ADD drugs are the same, even if they aren't the exact same substances.

 

congrats on day 14!  that is a huge chunk of time to conquer, and is some of the darkest time to go through!

 

if you only abused for a short time, that means you will very quickly get to the point where you've been clean longer than the time period that you actually used, which is a huge triumph in the process of recovery.

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14 days off ritalin - (there isn't a great forum like this for ritalin so I hope it's ok I'm here)... I only abused it a short while 3 mo.  60mg a day or so...

 

I feel so very, very depressed.  

 

But day 14!

 

 

Hey there. I am 9 months off ritalin. It can be just as bad as adderall. Trust me. I never liked adderall/dexedrine as i had way too many side effects. Ritalin was perfect to me.

 

Was on it 4 years or so daily. Now Im clean.

 

You can be too.

 

Good luck. PM me with any questions! You can do this!

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4th day complete, 8/24/2016

 

Some background; 27 yr old male, prescribed  Adderall IR (20mg x 3 aday); really equates to 60-120mg a day for last 10 years or so, a functioning addict if you will.

Quitting using .25 Xanax at night and marijuana during the day. It may sound crazy, to try and quit using one drug using others, but it’s the route I’ve decided.

 

I’ve been sleeping a lot, eating a lot, but it’s mostly healthy food, proteins, fruits, greens, ect, lots of water.

 

Been forcing myself to exercise, like 30 minutes walking on the treadmill and some pushups; It’s not intense, but it definitely helps with the whole feeling dumbfounded all day. I nap here and there after sleeping for 9+ hours, for example I went for a walk today, showered, and slept for 90mins. It’s rough, but it’s better than the side effects of long-term abuse; I use .25 xanax to help at night, and bong-rips as needed throughout the day

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Congrats on four days. Did you get rid of all your Adderall?? And cut off your supply?? 

 

I'm not sure how I feel about the xanax..... Do you really need it?? I've never taken it but I understand it is also extremely addictive. 

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Congrats on four days. Did you get rid of all your Adderall?? And cut off your supply?? 

 

I'm not sure how I feel about the xanax..... Do you really need it?? I've never taken it but I understand it is also extremely addictive. 

Day 5 complete; 8/25/2016

Thanks words of encouragement. I haven’t canceled my script but I haven’t picked it up either; where I live you simply call your quack for refills each month. The Xanax is surely addicting, but I’ve found .25 to be right dosage, it's definitely not needed, but it has a calming effect.

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