Jazzy7

3 1/2 years since I've quit. Still struggling- please help

6 posts in this topic

Sigh…. I'm feeling frustrated, tired, lazy, semi-depressed. I'm come so far, I mean 3 1/2 years!! I am proud of of that.  When I was coming off of adderall, I went through serious withdrawals that f#*%n sucked so badly. Days/months I wouldn't even get out of bed. When looking back I realize just how far I have come, there are now days where I am very productive, and so full of life.  I have to really push myself to do anything. There also are still days I don't want to do anything at all. I've spent the last three days not doing anything just moping around the house. I've been drinking a lot and eating like shit. I have more emotion that I can deal with. No adderall to numb this emotion, so I've been numbing through food and alcohol. I feel everything and at times it can be really tough. I probably have low energy because of how I am treating my body but just can't seem to pull myself out of it. No energy to work out, no energy to eat healthy. When I don't drink I tend to have a lot of anxiety.  

 

I've gained a lot of weight (30lbs) that also frustrates me so much, and is a source of my depression and loss of confidence. Makes me spend a lot of time alone, because i don't have the confidence to date. 

 

I am missing my zest for life- spent the last couple days researching different medications- Provigil, wellbutrin. Provigil sounds too good to be true and I'm worried it will be the same is adderall, I don't want to relapse and I refuse to.  Thinking maybe wellbutrin will help. There is no way I will go back to adderall but I am seriously down right now and am worried about the thinking pattern that I am caught up in. Planning to talk to my therapist this week to see what she thinks. 

 

Is there anyone else feeling the same way? Or have been here and pulled themselves through? If so how… Although I rarely post this site has been a huge help for my recovery since day one. You guys get it. You are the only ones that get it. 

Please help. 

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Yes, I've been there and here is my solution.

 

1. Stop drinking

2. Start eating healthy (like mainly I'm referring to a plant based diet - this will give you incredible energy and make you feel better than ever)

3. Come up with some fitness goals (something you enjoy doing)

4. Devise a weekly/monthly strategy to achieve those goals

5. Schedule everything in advance and then check it off each day

6. After you accomplish your initial goals, set new ones.  

 

As you are forced to monitor your fitness schedule everyday, it will force you to plan your week out in advance. This will help you to see down times in advance and build your desire to fill up empty time with something fun.  For me, my fitness plan is the foundation for my life.  It keeps me disciplined, following a schedule, and utilizing my time wisely.  If I schedule stuff in advance, I always do it. 

 

Anyhow, those are just my tips.  If you do those things, I think you'll see most of the other problems fix themselves.  The anxiety will be greatly decreased by the exercise.  It's the best anti-depressant I can promise you that works!

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I've looked into Provigil in the past read it can help not feeling sleepy but in return anxiety can go way up. It's looks to be a stimulant if it's anything like a SSRI it will feel horrible yes you need less sleep feel more awake but most of the time your awake the anxiety is so bad you'll wish u could go to sleep. Then good old doctor will give u some Xanax like they do must everyone on antidepressants then full blown addiction to prescription drugs to feel "normal" is back in your life.

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What Frank said. Pills will never be the answer to problems with pills. The good doctors don't care if they make addicts out of patients, I think a convincing argument could be made that many do just that.

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In addition to working out, meditate and find an outlet. I write poetry and short stories, and that's how I process and reprocess my emotions. It's satisfying to organize my feelings into the structure of a poem. It gives my brain that "ahhh"feeling. What would make you feel satisfied?

Also, when I got divorced 7 months ago my energy skyrocketed. I didn't realize how depressed I had been in that relationship until it ended. So, maybe check your relationships/environment too :)

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