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Things better than a high?

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I am struggling with missing the Adderall euphoria (which went away early in my addiction anyway). I would love to hear what little things in your life bring you so much joy now that you're clean that you wouldn't want to go back to it? I think it'd be super motivating for me to hear different areas of life that will get better clean

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this may sound kind of facetious, but quite simply: EATING AND SLEEPING (:

there was also this thread a while back that may help.

 

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I love sleeping now lol I’ll sleep for 12 hours straight when I can. 

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Relationships and breaking isolation. Being around people and enjoying their company, having long conversations again, and deeply laughing. Simply being restored to a state of sanity.

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The idea of traveling. I remember looking up various places like Japan and finding out that it’s illegal to bring Adderall. (I think you can bring Vyvanse now) I pretty much crossed anyplace off my list that wouldn’t allow me to bring it. Now I can go anywhere and not have to worry if it’s legal, how many pills I have, what if I lose it out of the country. It’s such a handicap for any sort of travel or adventure. 

Also, I luckily didn’t have many physical side effects, but I was at universal once on a fast ride that really made my heart race and it scared me so I swore off rides and amusement parks.  Will be fun to go back without worrying about dying on a roller coaster.

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I used to pop adderall and play tennis or pickup football but I felt so robotic and analytical about the game.  Every point was like match point at a major championship.  Adderall caused me to treat those pickup games with such intensity that there was no camaraderie with the people I was playing with.

But intense exercise while sober is fucking awesome.  I love Jiu Jitsu, (recommend it to all) weight lifting, basketball, any cardio really.  You never feel more present than when practicing jiu jitsu. I mean you and another person are trying to choke or armbar one another while defending against the same.  Its kind of hard to worry about anything else in life while doing that.  And then you shake hands afterwards and build a bond like no other.

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I would say everything I do is better except for cleaning. It takes time but I finally enjoy the video games I used to play on Adderall again. I enjoy going running and even just walking. I enjoy going out to eat with friends so much more now. Sleep is so good now and so is just laying around watching Netflix. Life in general is just better now because it’s real. Of course I miss the intense euphoria of popping Adderall and doing my taxes or putting together some Ikea furniture but come on, that is not natural!

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On 12/12/2018 at 7:10 PM, Danquit said:

Of course I miss the intense euphoria of popping Adderall and doing my taxes or putting together some Ikea furniture but come on, that is not natural!

Fuck IKEA! I put a queen size bed frame together with drawers “post addy” took me like 3 days, never again. 

 

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I assembled an Ikea queen sized bed (without drawers) on Adderall and it took me an afternoon.  It was kinda fun.  To this day that is my only Ikea experience.   And I agree with @Danquit that cleaning was much better while tweaking...like I actually looked forward to cleaning shit.  that's not normal.

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Speaking of Ikea furniture...

in September I moved into a new apartment with a new roommate.  (Was a few months clean, and moving out of my parent's home again).  I bought all new furniture at IKEA..remembering how fun it was to put all that stuff together.


I got my nightstand and desk together. But my dresser is still sitting in the middle of my room, half assembled.  

My stuff is still not put away because of this and I can barely walk around my room.

 

Every day I look at it and feel terrible.

Any advice? I hate my life being in such disarray, and it's enormously triggering.  I know if I had some adderall, I would get all this put together and I could set up my room in an ascetically pleasing way. :( 

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@ladypantz maybe pick a day where you have nothing going on and set a goal to get some of it done. Do as much as you can and afterwards you’ll feel accomplished maybe? I know how hard it is to do anything but since your beating yourself up over you mine as well give it a shot. 

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Hey @ladypantz hang in there. I went back and read your original post, you have overcome so much and made some amazing progress this year. Don’t let a piece of IKEA furniture and some disorganization get you down on the work you have done. I mean if you absolutely can’t look at it anymore and can’t make yourself put it together just throw it out. Going back on Adderall will cost you a lot more than a dresser. 

 

All that said I totally get how you feel. My life is a massive mess of the mistakes I made. Sometimes it feels like a bad dream. We just have to stay strong and be patient knowing things will get better.

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