ashley6

90 days and feeling depressed

44 posts in this topic

SPOT ON!!

Cassie and Ashley6, YOU ROCK! If anybody who ever considered substituting another stimulant drug for adderall would just read these two posts,...well...they would keep fightin the good fight and just stay off ALL of this shit.

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Ash,

GOod for you. I have been taking welbutrin as a counter since ending my love affair with addy. I plan to take it for hopefully no more than a year or so just to help me slowly begin rebalancing things mainly my head, emotions.. Let me kno how the Lexapro works out for you.

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Today I'm driving down the road and the thought crosses my mind to take adderall. It scared the hell out of me, and I said out loud to myself in the car NO, NO, NO. All of the changes going on in my life have me scared and feeling lost and alone, and I know that's where the bad thoughts are coming from. I called a good friend who's in a similar place that I'm in, so it helped to talk it out, but I would love words of wisdom or somebody to just slap some sense into me. I'm reminding myself that adderall got me here, so it sure as hell wouldn't get me out.

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Don't do it. Take it from someone who's relapsed and has to start allover again. That intial buzz from the Adderall will give you guilt beyond belief. It will only start the process allover again. It's the demon(addiction) wanting to be fed. Adderall will make it worse...and I know how feeling lost-alone feels...but it feels nowhere near how AWFUL being jacked up and alone feels.

You've come this far. Continue on the good path...you have so many new and exciting things coming your way. Do not fear change and don't bring Adderall with you to your future...each day it is becoming more and more a part of your past. Love you girl. Message me if you need me!

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Kathleen,

It was a fleeting thought, but a strong one, and it freaked me out because that particular thought hasn't come in a long time...adderall is always on my mind, but as past tense, usually.

I feel a little better now, and your post made a lot of sense about feeling lonely versus feeling jacked up and lonely. I don't want that! I've forgotten that emotional hell adderall takes you to. I got stuff done to get ready for school, went for a walk, and am going in for a massage shortly, and maybe an AA meeting later....keeping my mind busy in other words....thanks!

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Ashley6,

You really have to KILL those thoughts of a relapse before they take hold. no,No NO NO! is not strong enough. It has to be a rock solid FUCK NO!! It should be a gut-wrenching feeling that adderall is a toxic substance and it can only do you harm. Think of the most disgusting thing that you hate and replace it with adderall. Remember, adderall only solved some of your problems for a little while and then it turned on you and it quit working! You have got to want this quit to succeed more than anything else in the world right now. Be kind to yourself, quit for good, and for God's sake, just quit once!

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Quit-once,

I'll use the FUCK NO! Fuck no, I'm not letting this stuff ruin my life again. I have been very proactive in the quitting process and have given up things that I thought could hinder my recovery- an unhealthy relationship, drinking, adderall friends to name a few. That's exactly why the thought scared me shitless, because I don't want that life again more than anything.

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Today marks 5 months ago that I started this journey without adderall. I never, ever thought I'd be here. I have a long ways to go, but I'm so proud of the progress despite the evil ways this drug can trick you...still fighting the good fight a day at a time :)

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)))) (thats a digital pat on the back) Wow, five months is a long time, and a heartfelt congratulations to you, Ashley6. I am really proud of you too. You DO have this battle under YOUR control now and there is nothing, NOTHING that can screw it up. I sure wish I could buy you lunch or something to mark the occasion. I felt my most vunerable at five months and that is when I cut the final ties and unloaded my pill stash. Never looked back. Keep us all updated on your progress and I am really happy for you!

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I run at least three miles a day (and in fact, the other day I ran 3 miles THREE times a day) ..

Maybe it's a little obessive, but it's definitely helping me feel better..and if you can get yourself in a routine of running and become addicted to something healthy and productive, it'd benefit you.

(I feel like I'm speaking something so blantantly obvious that it's no help at all)

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A day at a time, and I'm 6 months adderall-free! I really don't think I would be here without the support of the people on this site, lots of thanks :)

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Cassie,

Thank you. You've helped me to realize that this is a process, and I have to let it take it's course. That insight has been huge in my recovery.

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Hi Ashley. Today is my first day without Adderall. I am scared to death and don't know what to think. I'm more nauseated than anything. I think it's my anxiety. Let us know how the Lexapro works! Good luck!

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Kinsey,

I'm so glad you found this site! Take full advantage of it, because it is a Godsend. I remember 6 months ago finally deciding it was my time to quit. I cried so much and felt sick to my stomach because I didn't know how I'd live without it. It is an awful memory, but one I try not to forget, because I never, ever want to go back there. My heart goes out to you, and if I can do this anyone can...trust me! The Lexapro has helped. It's definitely not a cure-all, but it has lessened the intense anxiety and depression. Message me anytime. I had some crazy thoughts when quitting, still do, but I can bet that when you talk to people on here, they've had similar ones. You've taken the first step, and that's huge. One day a time. I wish you the best!

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I'm 7 months off of adderall today! Once again, thank you to all of you on this site for helping me see there's life without adderall, a better life, it just takes patience and determination. Every day off of that junk is a success for me. One day at a time!

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You go Girl

Ha Ashely Iv Ben clinically depressed sins about the age of 17 maybe even before it’s a bitch I now Iv Ben on maybe 20 deferent antidepressants thru out the years it seems like they help for a wile butt then the antidepressants stop working on me this is call drug resistant depression . There is nothing I can do butt learn some coping techniques jest so I don’t go crazy .It goes for you to you are on wellbutrin it is a good drug and its probably helping you maybe Not 100% butt there is no drug that will give you 100% wellbeing this is where your coping skills come into play. Hang in there your not alone. FALCON

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I'm 7 months off of adderall today! Once again, thank you to all of you on this site for helping me see there's life without adderall, a better life, it just takes patience and determination. Every day off of that junk is a success for me. One day at a time!

Congrats!

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