bluemoon
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Posts posted by bluemoon
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The best advice I can give you is stay checking this site. I tried on and off to quit unsuccessfully. Then I found this site and I still relapsed once but now I'm at day 86 and I wouldn't be here without this site.
Adderall is such a different type of drug that you need to be hearing from people going through the same thing.
When I first quit, I literally checked this forum, read the articles, and was on this site a dozen times a day. Remind yourself why you quit because your brain will try to convince you otherwise.
So true. I feel like since I found this website, for the first time, I am ready to actually 100% commit to quitting for good. I am so ready. But I just have to find the right time to do it. I want to quit ASAP, but I'm under a lot of pressure at work and I know I will be pretty useless for the first little while without the pills. I have a week off at Christmas, but I honestly don't want to put myself through another month of this. Ugh. How do I quit and manage to stay on top of things at work??
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Thanks for sharing your story. I wish I had found this website sooner. It sounds like we started taking Adderall around the same time. I keep my addiction a secret and it has honestly been so comforting to finally be able to talk to other people who can actually relate to what I'm going through. I can relate to pretty much everything you said. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Since finding this website, I feel like I finally have the strength to quit for good this time. I'm just trying to strategize and find the right time to flush the rest of my pills. I know I'll be pretty useless without them and I have a very demanding job. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I'm under a lot of pressure at work and I don't think I can handle being in withdrawal while at work. I have a week off at Christmas, so that would be the most ideal time to quit... But at the same time, I don't want to put myself through another month of this hell and delay my recovery any longer. Ugh
How are you doing since quitting? It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure work wise as well. Please keep us posted on how your recovery is going. Your story really struck a chord with me.
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I'm going through the exact same thing. Nobody knows about my addiction because I've kept it a secret for so long. I really want to stop but I feel the same way as you do... I just need some support and encouragement. Let's be there for each other. We can do this! I think telling our doctors to never prescribe it to us again is a good idea. That way it's not so easy to just go back to it again.
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It is crazy how much I can relate to your story. We are going through the exact same thing. I really want to stop, but I know it's not going to be easy. I can barely get out of bed without Adderall and I have a very demanding full-time job. But I know it'll get easier with time.... We just have to be strong. It's nice knowing that there are others who are going through the same thing as me. I would really like to keep in touch and be there for each other in moments of weakness. We can do this!!
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I feel the same way I want to be myself, not a pill. I spent so much time on this medication denying the risks, denying that its a problem, no matter what happened. I just didn't care about myself, i felt like the positive of Adderall outweighs the bad. I talk myself into taking it until i finally take it. I feel like i am fighting this person Adderall created. Honestly it is really difficult. Everything i need to do, i always think: "I should take Adderall & then do this." Adderall is such a big part of my life that simple tasks like doing the dishes, putting on my make-up, doing my hair, etc are difficult to make myself get up and do without Adderall. It's literally almost impossible. There is no motivation whatsoever, and all i can think about is how much easier things would be if i take an Adderall.
& i do have depression, and my life at the moment is just chaotic. Even so, i absolutely cannot do this anymore. & it's not even the dangerously high heart rates & blood pressure. i want to quit is because i feel like i spent two years of my life being dead. i look back and it seems like a daze. I'm not the same person on Adderall. This person i was for two years is not me.
MOST OF ALL, i am tired of scheduling my life, around a drug.
I couldn't have said it better myself. I feel like I can't do my hair or make up, clean my house, or even go to the grocery store without Adderall. I tell myself I need it to socialize, but in the end, it only ends up making me socially awkward. I really am ready to stop. I just need some encouragement and support from you guys. I've kept the Adderall a secret for so long. Coming on this forum is the first time I've ever actually talked about my problem. We can do this! Let's quit together. We got this.
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".....and Adderall is sometimes the only thing that can provide me some relief"
Sorry, but you will have to change your mindset for what gives you relief from the depression episodes. Going on and off Adderall is the worst thing for depression, besides drinking.
Yes, I am aware of that. It's a vicious cycle. I know that the Adderall only ends up hurting me more in the end, and it doesn't actually provide me the "relief" that I think it does. I don't know how I got here. I never used to be able to understand addiction before I started taking Adderall. I never understood why someone couldn't "just stop" when addicted to something. And well... here I am. I am so ashamed to have found myself in this position.
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Are you addicted or you just want to stop taking it?
Both. I feel like I'm addicted. I want to stop but I feel like I can't fully commit. It's ruining my life
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I have taken Adderall on and off for almost three years. I have tried to quit more times than I can count. There have been times where I have been successful in staying off Adderall for longer periods of time (I think two months is probably the longest), but all it takes is one bad day and I find myself reaching for it again. For me, the worst part of not taking Adderall is the intense fatigue. Oh, and the skyrocketing weight gain. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, and Adderall is sometimes the only thing that can provide me some relief. But at the same time, it makes me feel even more depressed. I don't like the person I am when I'm on it. I'm absolutely miserable. I want my life back. I want to really start living again. I need some encouragement and advice to help me really commit to staying off Adderall for good. Please help
Trying to quit 15 straight years of use
in Tell your story
Posted
15 years is a long time. I'm sure it will take a while to totally recover, but I just wanted to let you know I'm super proud of you. 26 days with no pills is super awesome, especially after being on it for so many years. Just keep swimming!! There's nowhere but up from here. Every day we stay clean is one day closer to our recovery. One foot in front of the other