bluemoon
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Posts posted by bluemoon
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A friend of mine is opening a new gym just down the street from my house at the end of this month. I've kind of been waiting for that (and at the same time using it as an excuse to not exercise until the gym opens lol).
How are you doing? You mentioned that you're feeling better quicker this time around. That's great
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Yeah, exactly. The Adderall made me extroverted for a few months, then quite the opposite eventually. Kind of hard to be social when you can't even make eye contact with people, haha. After quitting though, I find that I am also more introverted than I have ever been, even before the pills. I know everything will balance back out in due time, but I'm just being impatient haha.
As for my nutrition, it has come a long way in the last month or so. The exercise, well... I know it would be the best thing for me, but I can't bring myself to do it after a long day of work. I know I need to do it though. I'll get there.......
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I just randomly got to thinking... Is there a certain personality type that is more attracted to Adderall??
Are you an introvert or an extrovert??
I am naturally an introvert. I never really had any problems with being social, but it has always been "limited" and I have always only had a certain amount of energy to dedicate to social activities. I've always had to have some alone time to recharge. For many years, I thought there was something wrong with me and I didn't realize that this is a normal thing.
When I found Adderall, my need for that alone time diminished. I suddenly was able to be social at all times, and I didn't need that time to recharge... I could just pop another pill and I would have all the energy in the world. I thought I finally fixed what was "wrong" with me! Boy was I wrong.......
Fast forward, now almost 5 months into my recovery... I have ZERO desire to be social. I just want to sit on my couch or lay in my bed and sleep. I guess now I'm paying for all the fake energy that evil pill gave me. I hope things balance back out soon, so I can actually want to spend time with people (at least a little bit, haha).
Anyway, the point of my post here ... Are you naturally an introvert or an extrovert?? Just curious if more introverts or extroverts are attracted to Adderall
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Woohoo!! Go Doge!!
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Adderall is definitely different than any other drug. That's why I'm so thankful for this site and thankful to have people who actually understand.
8pm here, and I'm off to bed. I hope one day soon I can actually stay up past 9pm. Actually, I hope one day I will actually WANT to stay up past 9pm. The best part of my day is bed time. Kinda sad. Haha...
PS - Frank, we have the same quit date.
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How you feeling, flow?
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I was on Adderall for almost 3 years (on and off). I was prescribed 20mg/day.... some days I would take 20mg, some days 60mg, some days none at all and just sleep all day... I can't even count how many times I tried to quit. Sometimes I would go a month without taking any at all, but then I would be so exhausted and tell myself that maybe I do "need" it, and start taking it again.
You're right Jen, it would be nice if life could just stop and we could just take the time we need to recover and not have to worry about the demands of work and life. But, such is life... and I know in the end, we will be stronger for pushing through it... but in the mean time, recovery just plain sucks. No question about it.
Frank, if anything, it helps to know that you feel the same way I do. I can't help but wonder if it's normal to still feel this shitty at close to five months in. I thought I would feel so much better by now. But it helps to know that you feel the same way. I agree that it's painful to hear that this is a two year process... It would be nice to see some more progress. I need some encouragement to keep going. The exhaustion is what gets me the most... Ugh. Thank God I cut off any possible way to get my hands on the pills.
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Justin, does it really get better at 6 months?? I'm at about 4 1/2 months, and well, you're right. It is a miserable existence. No other way to describe it. I feel like I am literally just existing. So grumpy and SO tired. And time is passing ever so slowwwwly...
I keep thinking that the next month will be better, but I feel like I've been at a stand-still in how I feel for the last few months. I'm still waiting for that day when I can come on here and write that I'm actually feeling pretty good. And right now, it feels like it will never come.
I feel like I'm at a weird stage of recovery... Absolutely no desire to ever go back to the pills whatsoever, but I'm so much of a grumpy, tired, miserable bitch that I can't even enjoy the fact that I've come this far. I can't enjoy anything really...
... Sorry for being such a downer.-
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I feel the same way Frank, and we're at about the same spot in our quit. Some days are better than others, but most days really suck. This week in particular, has been extra rough. The fatigue is honestly killing me. I'm so tired I could cry at the drop of a hat. Everything takes so much effort.. effort that I don't have to give. I'm going through the motions and just waiting, waiting for it to get easier... But not sure when that day will come. And like you, it's not like I want to go back to the pills. I'm way past that. But I just wish I felt better. Wish I had more energy. Wish I could enjoy my days. Unfortunately I think we still have a long road ahead of us. But it has to get better, we can't stay feeling this crappy forever. Where's a time machine when you need one?
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Happy 4 months to me!! Feeling extra tired today... dying for some more energy, please!! But proud of myself for how far I have come.
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How are you feeling Firefly?? What differences do you notice at 7 months compared to how you felt at 3 months??
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Hey flow. Just wanted to let you know I'm still right there with you. Four months in and still no increase in energy. It makes it hard to enjoy life when everything feels like so much effort. Unfortunately we still have a long ride ahead of us from what I've been told. I remember someone saying that they didn't experience their next energy bump until 10 months. Will supplements help? I'm not sure. Maybe? But I doubt it. I think we kind of just have to ride it out. We've done great so far though and I'm super proud of us! Just keep swimming! There are better days ahead (I hope anyway, lol)
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It takes a long time
But every day gets easier! One day at a time! We're all rooting for you. You can do this.-
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I must agree with everything AlwaysAwesome said... I also started gaining weight at the end while I was taking Adderall. Then I gained another 35 lbs in just a few short months right after quitting. Unfortunately, it is something you have to accept in order to move forward and get better. I know how much it sucks. The weight issue was one that also kept me going back to Adderall. The only way you will be successful in quitting is accepting that you will gain some weight (temporarily), and once you start feeling better, you can tackle the weight in a healthy way. Adderall is NOT the answer!!! I am 4 months into my quit and finally have just started feeling some motivation to start eating healthier and exercising. The astronomical number on the scale is my biggest motivator. This is the heaviest I have EVER been. But I just started eating better less than a week ago, and I am already down 5 lbs. Now just another 35-40ish to go...
haha. The weight gain sucks. It really, really does. But it's worth it to get off Adderall for good. And remember, it's only temporary.-
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Woohoo!! Thanks for starting this thread quit-once! I'm on day 107. My quit date was November 20. Should I be counting 180 days from then, or shall we call May 20 my 6 month mark??
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YES PLEASE!!
Thanks for the support. I can't believe I've actually made it this far. When I was stuck in my on/off Adderall days, I honestly didn't see a way out. I didn't know how to do it. The answer was that I couldn't do it alone, and I needed support. Thanks to you guys I am well over 100 days at this point. Now onto the 6 month challenge!!
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Congrats on making it to 90, flow!! We've made it through the hardest part. Now the rest is just a waiting game, it seems. I'm going to start putting more effort into eating better and I'm gonna try to start exercising. I know people say diet and exercise are key to feeling better after quitting, but I honestly just did not have it in me to even think about trying. I'm still not sure if I have enough motivation yet, but I'm going to give it a shot at least. I can't keep letting the weight pile up any longer. None of my clothes fit and I feel uncomfortable in my own skin haha. I've got about 35 lbs to lose. Here goes nothing!
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That's awesome!!! How are you feeling??
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Almost there, flow!!! Proud of you!!
How are you feeling??
I'm just over 100 days and although I still don't feel FANTASTIC, I have noticed I'm not complaining every day anymore. I think that's a good sign
... I cleaned my whole house for the first time without Adderall in years, and guess what, it wasn't that bad haha... And I've managed to find the energy to go out with friends a couple of times too. Excited for more good days to come.
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This happened to me the other day. I was digging through my purse trying to find my lipgloss while I was in my truck, and I found a pill. I grabbed it, looked at it, panicked and threw it out my window lol. Probably not the best way to dispose of it, but at least it's better than down my throat.
Glad you resisted too. And congrats on 20 months. What an accomplishment!!
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Congrats on making it this far, Frank. The rest of us who are the same point as you are feeling the same way. Lots of bad days, and once in a while a good day. We just have to keep pushing and at some point the good days are going to outweigh the bad. We have that to look forward to. Keep going. You're doing great
And Jen, YOU CAN DO THIS. I know you can!! It's scary but you can tell you're definitely "ready". How much longer in your tapering process??
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We're all doing great
I think the hardest part is behind us. Only better days to look forward to. You're right flow, we have the very best times in our lives ahead of us. The hope & promise of that is what keeps me going. I can't wait to not be too exhausted to enjoy life. Congrats on 90 days teamwin
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AWESOME!!!! You're doing great!!!!! You'll be at 30 days before you know it
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DAY 90!!!!! This is pretty huge for me guys. It's been a roller coaster full of a lot of ups and downs. More downs than ups so far, but it feels good to know I'm not alone. Thanks for sticking by my side through this, flow! It always makes me feel better when I see your messages and know that you're feeling the same way I am. I start to doubt myself sometimes and I feel like I should feel better than I do; that I should be further along than I am. But I just need to accept that it is going to take TIME to feel back to "normal".
I'm actually in awe that I've made it this far. There was a time that I never thought it could be possible. One thing I know for sure is that I couldn't have done it without this site. Thanks to everyone who has supported me along the way thus far. It's crazy how just a few short messages from people who have been there and understand can make so much of a difference.
So... what's my next challenge?? I got this
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The Six Month Challenge
in Tell your story
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Great to hear you're doing well, flow
I'm doing ok, I guess. I don't know. Just hanging in there and hoping it will get better soon. The fatigue kills me. I somehow muster up the energy to make it through the work day but beyond that, I just have nothing left. Haven't felt any good feelings for a long time. I feel like I'm starting to lose my optimistic attitude that things will get better soon, because I have felt pretty stagnant for a while here. Doge mentioned I should try exercising, which I'm sure would help... but I don't feel like I have it in me just yet. I'll get there soon, I hope.