LuLamb

Members
  • Content count

    125
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

163 Excellent

2 Followers

About LuLamb

  • Rank
    Member
  1. Progress

    I really appreciate hearing this. I quit Adderall back in October. Since then, I’ve had a few brief relapses, and am currently on Day 69 since the last one. I’m doing ok. Most of the time I don’t think about Adderall. I know with absolute certainty that it wouldn’t help. The most helpful things are exercise, sleep, taking the time to make and eat healthy meals, and time in nature. I got a mountain bike recently and have really been enjoying finding new trails to ride in the mornings. Today I am leaving on a trip with my boyfriend for two weeks to spend a week in Albuquerque and a week in Tucson. The hope is that by the end of the trip, we’ll have decided to which of these two places we’d like to move. This was a plan I had first made over ten years ago (pre-Adderall). The other day my boyfriend told me how much healthier I look. Yesterday, I saw my ex-husband (he’s taking care of my pup while I’m gone). I hadn’t seen him in nearly six months. He said, “You got skinny!” Which I took as a real compliment. I was afraid I’d gain weight post-Adderall. My guts have been pretty whacked lately. I know I’ve read some on here say they’ve had gut issues in recovery. Work has been really challenging. I’ve been doing telehealth sessions from home since COVID, which is great in some ways, but I’m feeling really burnt-out. Most of the time lately I forget that I am in recovery from Adderall. Some days It helps to remind myself that I am still in recovery. Some days it’s good to just show up and do the next right thing and to make peace with however I am and however things are.
  2. Beginning of the end

    CONGRATULATIONS!! I’m excited for you and look forward to following your progress!!
  3. Today is day 20. For the first time in a decade I've been sleeping like a teenager this week. Like 11 hours a night. It feels wonderful and like I can't get enough of it but at the same time I'm judging myself about it. When I was in my addiction and still married, I really judged my ex harshly for how late he slept. It was so unfair of me. I don't feel depressed or necessarily unmotivated, but with sheltering-in-place, working from home, and actually having the opportunity to rest and sleep this much, I guess my body is finally relaxing into getting some sleep after years of no sleep, or at least little quality sleep. My head has been feeling foggy, my eyes sleepy, and my brain isn't working so well, but that feels like a small price to pay right now. I've been feeling like life is so much simpler than I've made it out to be. I really don't need much.
  4. First post-adderall work win!

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! What an amazing story!! I am loving what you wrote—-> “What I really want to share with you all is that I believe my confidence and self-esteem has been a decent piece of what has been weighing me down mentally. Now that I know I’m not a fraud, because I can literally FEEL it within me, I know I can quit for good.” THAT IS SO TRUE!! Way to go!!!
  5. 12 Step Programs

    Just saw this post. Kinna shocked because it looks like no one has replied to it? I don't know what it means to send "a letter to AA GSO" - can you elaborate?? -- but I do believe there is a HUGE need for an Adderallics Anonymous group of some sort. I've been to numerous 12-step groups over the years (OA, AA, Al-Anon) and have yet to find my tribe there, but I know I would still like to.
  6. I wish for more connection...

    I don’t go to meetings, but would AA or NA meetings Be helpful? It is crazy that there aren’t Adderall Anonymous meetings on every corner!!!! There sure should be!
  7. Chronic fatigue and apathy

    Yes it’s that one 53’
  8. Quarantine qualms

    Intermittent fasting is also a great way to support your body as it heals from addiction and to find the “right” weight for your body. Our gut health plays a big role in everything and I’ve never been so aware of this as since I quit Adderall. My guts are often “funky” - starving or no appetite or bloated or constipated or diarrhea or just uncomfortable. I’ve also found that I feel better when I eat a plant-based diet. I’ve been doing that during the week and then on the weekends when I go out or visit with my boyfriend, I eat “whatever” just because it’s easier and I feel better not having any strict rules around food because I don’t want to trigger the disordered eating I’ve had in the past.
  9. Locked up the main trigger

    So you locked up the temazepam?
  10. Chronic fatigue and apathy

    It has also helped me To realize that the minute I quit my body is already reacting and detoxing and working to function without the drugs. Watching the NOVA documentary ADDICTION really helped me orient to the science of The addicted brain and helped me be more gentle with myself. One thing in particular that struck me was learning that without the dopamine that the brain produces on its own when it’s functioning normally and without the over-release of it on stimulants, the human body simply lacks MOTIVATION. The concept that motivation is Produced by Brain chemistry and not moral character Had been helpful. Having no motivation is simply due to the lack of dopamine production in the brain. But the minute you quit the stimulants, the brain is working hard to recover. Intense cravings are also about brain chemistry, not moral character. So do what you can, But don’t expect too much from yourself, knowing every day your body IS working hard on your behalf to recover. Our job is to let it.
  11. Ambivalence

    Today is Day 13. I'm realizing that in many ways, having had nearly 6 months of sobriety under my belt (albeit with 2 brief {a few days} relapses) has really helped. I was afraid that after this most recent relapse that I'd be back to square one in a much bigger way. This past week has been good. It's helped so much to be sheltering-in-place -- not having to get up, get ready, get out, battle traffic, go to the office, etc., etc. Working from home, I find it much easier to take good care of myself, and to use my down-time to walk, sit outside, read a book, etc. I feel like I'm managing to take each day as it comes and to be more accepting when I feel MEH. This week I have really felt a newfound sense of my self and an optimism about my ability to build the life I want for myself. It's been shocking in contrast to the Adderall DAZE. For the first time in a decade, I have been seeing that I am a pretty strong and that I am moving myself in the direction of the simple, clean, productive life I want. Things seem so much simpler. So much more manageable. This week I've had some energy and I've felt motivated. At the same time, I'm conserving my energy in that I'm being more thoughtful about what I want to use my time, energy, and resources for.
  12. Ambivalence

    I'm doing 100% telehealth now and I have decided to close my literal office and continue doing only telehealth full-time. i just gave my office landlord notice today.
  13. It’s a good point. And I concur: I’ve had some kind of compulsive behavior/addiction most of my life as well. Most of my life it was food. Compulsive overeating, then dieting and exercise. Then it switched to smoking and drinking and pot and then Adderall came on the scene and it was a game-changer.