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About dolssa

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  1. Weight Gain/Body Image

    YESSSS. Adderall gave me an eating disorder. I didn't realize it, bc i never thought about food while i was in my addiction but I loved the adderall skinny body I had, and people would ALWAYS compliment my body saying whats your secret!!! if only they knew it was a diet of cold brew and adderall. I am now a year off and those first few months i gained 10 pounds and then I lost the weight, but didnt get back down to adderall skinny which would make me spiral and want to use. I did try wellburitn for a few months which also decreases appetite which i loved. but I got off that too. I just passed the year mark and its a never ending struggle of wanting to take adderal for the purpose of masking hunger. Im coming to terms that this is deeper than just being addicted to adderall and i might need to seek treatment for an ED. just wild because i had a great relationship with food pre adderall.
  2. Hi @LuLamb. Just wanted to say I am right there with you i quit Nov last year. came here bc just passed the year mark and struggling. way better than those first few months of recovery but the cravings have started again. I just wanted to reach out and say that i am feeling literally everything you write and you are not alone. happy we made it this far... we have to keep going right? x
  3. Wellburtin feels like adderall?

    exactly its just more jittery. Did you switch to a different antidepressant? @EricP thanks for the reply!
  4. Wellburtin feels like adderall?

    nvm i found alot of posts with this information! thanks xx
  5. Hey all I am at 10 months tomorrow. I am mostly happy with my decision to quit adderall, yet i am still really struggling with depression. I started Wellburtin almost three weeks ago and while my doctor reassured me that it was NOT a stimulant, i feel much the same affects as adderall. A burst of energy after taking, and huge decrease in appetite. along with increased anxiety. I am going to continue it for the month because I guess thats how long it takes to work, however I am concerned with its parallels to adderall. Anyone else try wellburtin and feel this way??
  6. 9 months

    I am almost at 9 months clean. a year ago i could not imagine what it would be like to say i have gone a majority of 9 month without adderall. I wont lie i slipped and took 5 mg around 6 months and again around 7 months. It was such a small dose I didn't feel anything and didn't have much negative affect so I still consider myself 9 months clean. I seem to always want to slip around my quit date which is NOV 11. So its not a surprise I'm here coming up on 9 months. My thoughts have not been good. I want to feel more. I want that rush. I want that motivation. I want that little pill of confidence. I am drowning in depression. Its wild that a solution is just a pill away and I could have the energy to live life. I know it is not sustainable but man I wish it was. I made an appointment to try wellbutrin, I know some people on here have had some success with that. I don't really have a point to this. I just keep waiting and waiting to feel like myself again and i feel like all the positive times i look back in my life i was on adderall. I am going to keep going because 9 months is a long time to give up now. I just really hope the antidepressant works because if not I will go back to this
  7. 16 Months Update - Feeling better

    thank you for posting!!! I am at 8 months and just started to come out of the depersonalization. I thought i was the only one!
  8. Someone please help

    Hello @idkanymore.. I also signed on here to say that I have relapsed this past weekend. I also feel like i can never be normal without this drug but also taking it is HELL. I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I just want you to know you are not alone. kicking this drug is HARD. Do not beat yourself up over this relapse. Just start again tomorrow. You can do this.
  9. What is life

    GIRL you are literallly describing my life my first three months off adderall. It was absolutely brutal and honestly a miracle i didn't go back to adderall just to FEEL SOMETHING. I wish I had a better answer for you other than you just have to ride this wave but it DOES get better. This is your brain re wiring itsself. it is important to remember this is NOT YOU either. The real you is healing. The real you wants you to fight for its chance to be adderall free. You can get there. Just do anything you can not to go back. I did not leave my apartment for three months. I binged netlfix and read alot of books. then slowly I started feeling like a person again. it takes time and its not easy but you CAN do it.
  10. How is it dating without adderall?

    although I get nervous that I will get overwhelmed and need adderall to keep up. the girl im dating loves to be active and travel. I did too when i was on adderall. im hoping my depression won't get in the way because I really like her and it scares me that I might turn to adderall to keep up
  11. How is it dating without adderall?

    It was so hard for me to date on adderall. I had no emotions and I was content alone as long as i had adderall. One of the reasons i got sober was to connect more deeply with people. I am now 7 months clean and just started dating. It was a rough start with the depression which is why it took 7 months. I feel better now, i lost the post adderall weight gain and I am slowly getting confidence back. My emotions are back, stronger than I remember and it feels really good connecting again.
  12. set back

    @sweetupbaaby Thanks for your response. I totally relate about the emotions coming back. Besides the depression I generally love being sober for that same reason. Not going to let this small step back stop be from continuing this path of recovery
  13. set back

    @DC011381 wow that is such a long time. I am going to try and stay strong I know i can its just mind blowing how slow this process is and how much using affects our brains in the long term
  14. set back

    Hi guys.. if you saw my post last week i was really struggling with depression at a little over 6 months adderall free. I wanted to cave but a few of you really helped me out and talked me out of that (thank you!!) I ended up having a really good rest of the week after those few shitty days. But today i woke up feeling shitty again. I know this is normal but I was dying for an adderall. I stumbled upon one in shorts I havent worn since last summer and I just took it :/ its half of 10 mg. i probably wont get high from it but im so mad at myself for taking it (and looking for it in the first place) I swear i got rid of em all. Anyway I know this doesn't undo ALL the progress in the last 6 months and I have a really hard week ahead of me. any stories of slips like this that didnt end in total relapse destruction please share with me Im feeling really like i fucked everything up
  15. can't do it

    @Ready4Change You are so so so right. thank you so much for your response