quit-once

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About quit-once

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  • Birthday 06/04/2011

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  1. About One Year Addy Free

    This was the hardest thing for me to understand about recovery. I thought you had to feel sad and blue to be depressed. I researched the symptoms of depression and realized that anxiety was a common effect of being depressed. Throughout my recovery, I have become depressed a few times per year, usually lasting a week or two, but sometimes only for a few days. I had to do some deep reflecting to realize that this was not merely a symptom of recovery, but something I have experienced my entire life. Fortunately, my depression is mild and it goes away on its own. I have found that L-tyrosine, vitamin D, St Johns Wort and /or fish oil usually help get me out of a slump. I noticed a plateau in my recovery around three years. Drinking excessive alcohol is not helpful for depression and especially anxiety. Depression and lack of motivation (another symptom of depression) is definitely the most common theme of amphetamine recovery.
  2. Moving cities

    Good Move! I live in Wyoming....so Welcome to the West!
  3. I used it off and on for the first six years. Then daily for the last three years. Only during the last two years of the addiction did I realize it was causing problems in my life and general health.
  4. Have you been diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease?
  5. Wife and Adderal

    Wow. that's really fucked up. Perhaps her problems are deeper than just adderall? I wish you the best.
  6. Things better than a high?

    I assembled an Ikea queen sized bed (without drawers) on Adderall and it took me an afternoon. It was kinda fun. To this day that is my only Ikea experience. And I agree with @Danquit that cleaning was much better while tweaking...like I actually looked forward to cleaning shit. that's not normal.
  7. I took it daily for the first two or three years after quitting. I still take it occasionally, especially when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and anticipate it will might be a shitty day. It usually helps.
  8. Shifting Teeth?!

    I suggest you read though this thread if you need more reasons to quit..... Speed is really hard on your teeth, BTW.
  9. Welcome to the forum. I'm not sure I can answer your topic question, but I would like to respond to the rest of your post. So, the main reason you quit Adderall over a year ago was because of tolerance. I can assure you that you will be right back here at this decision place in the future because of this issue if you start taking it again. Maybe not for the first few days or weeks, but eventually you will need to consider upping the dose because it quit working for you again. Adderall works for everybody when they first start taking it, then it quits working for you, and finally it starts working against you as you increase the dosages. Then you have to quit. An adderall addiction is simply unsustainable. You can't take this drug for the rest of your life. Since you haven't abused the drug, you haven't experienced the side effects, both mental and physical, that come with the higher dosages. However, you did experience the withdrawals from the physical and mental dependencies of even a reasonably low daily dose of Adderall. Withdrawal severity and general recovery becomes increasingly challenging the longer you have used / abused Adderall. I suggest taking a fish oil supplement to see if it helps with your failing academics, or maybe find another less academic pursuit. Going back on speed just for better academic performance isn't worth it. In fact, going back on adderall for any reason just doesn't make any sense to me. You really don't need this drug in your life, and quitting and recovery just becomes more and more challenging each time you attempt it. I used, then abused this drug for a total of nine years and haven't ever considered going back on it since quitting about seven years ago. I noticed most of my improvement during the first year of recovery, but felt noteworthy gains in my well-being up to year three.
  10. Slow digestive issues

    I remember this thread from several years ago: Try using the search feature in the upper right corner of this page - there are about two dozen topics or posts dealing with this issue.
  11. Sober November

    Congratulations for mostly making it through the month without drinking. When I quit for a month last January, I didn't really resume my 2-3 per day drinking habit until summer began. Something about summertime that I enjoy moderate drinking. The problem is that habit continues through the other seasons unless I take a long term break. Last year, I wasn't sure how tough it would be to quit for a month, but now I am actually looking forward to it. Getting drunk is no longer appealing to me, even in a party situation. We need to be careful that the Adderall addiction is not replaced by something else (another substance).
  12. Has anyone had an easy time quitting adderall..

    I think you have to go off benzos under a doctor's supervision. Congrats for kicking the Adderall and the cigs already. I was never a daily user of my benzo of choice (lorazepam) so I experienced the painful withdrawls after every weekend binge.
  13. Relapse

    As I was reading some of your posts last week, I grew concerned that the depression and perceived lack of progress was getting you down. The posts I remember reading were in response to other people's needs and struggles. From what I know of you- just from reading your posts on this forum, you seem like a genuine, intelligent, and unselfish person and you have provided a lot of help to our newer members over the last two years. I certainly don't think any less of you for fucking up and falling off the horse. Let's dig in to the reasons for this relapse, no matter how painful it may be. I remember reading that the depression was getting the best of you last week. It happens this time of the year. Your dad has been on your ass lately regarding work and school. There is pressure to go back to school but you might not be ready to go back yet. The job working with the public isn't satisfying you. These are just the things that I gathered from your recent posts. What else has been causing you to believe that going back on speed will give you relief or improve your life? From what I understand, the psychosis can return with a vengeance if you return to the dosages that sent you there in the first place. That should terrify you. Did you ever have any physical health problems during the later stages of your addiction? They will come back as well if you did. How long do you plan to continue this relapse, and what kind of a plan do you have to quit again? Do you have any local resources who can help you? It can get pretty lonely and uncomfortable without some local support - like a counselor or a support group who understands your struggles. Were there any lessons or tools you learned during your stint in Rehab that can help you now? Would another rehab program benefit you now? The fact that you had the courage come here and tell us about this relapse speaks volumes about your sincerity and desire to quit for good, no matter how many times it takes you to finally kick this horrid addiction. You can do this.
  14. Has anyone had an easy time quitting adderall..

    The way you have posed this question is complicated. My initial response to the topic line was 'hell no, it was the most difficult thing I have ever done'. But after reading your qualifier question, I can see what you are trying to ask, maybe. Until I became 100 % committed to quitting, trying to cut down or just quit was difficult to impossible for me, especially after I graduated to daily usage with no breaks for a few days here and there. I abused adderall for nine years. I was so addicted that I would just wilt like a dead plant if I didn't take it. That made me realize just how dependent I was on that shit, and that it is an unsustainable addiction. I knew I had to quit in order to move on with my life. I picked a date and made plan, set a deadline, and it took me a few months to see it through. Cigarettes, benzos, and adderall were poisoning me and I needed relief from all these toxic substances. Recovery was difficult, but the act of actually quitting - ceasing the adderall and never going back to it, was actually kind of easy for the very reason you mentioned above - profound neurotoxicity and all the other awful physical side effects from taking too much speed. I'm not sure why I thought I needed a stash of pills even when I was totally committed to quitting, but I had a stash of over a hundred pills (with difficult access), when I ceased, and then got rid of them a few months later. I needed the relief from the addiction (cigs too), and I understood that the first and greatest rule of kicking any addiction is there is no going back. " one pill is too many and a thousand is not enough". "once pickled, never a cucumber". I learned those lessons while trying to kick the cigs many times before. This was kind of a long answer to your short question, so here is my short answer: If you are ready to quit, and 100 % committed to your Quit, then the act of quitting (ceasing) can be easy. But recovering from any substance addiction is never easy. Quitting is a process, and it includes planning the Quit, the act of ceasing, and a long and difficult recovery time. It is 100% worth the effort for a better life that you will enjoy beyond the addiction.
  15. 3 years!!!

    Hey Bluemoon- Great to hear from you and that you are doing well. There were indeed quit a few of you who quit around that time three years ago. I am especially glad to hear that Nash is doing well. If you can, post a pic of him here or send it to me in a PM, you know how I feel about GSD's. Mine is almost ten years old with arthritis, but otherwise still doing OK. Thanks for the update!