The 60 day challange "reloaded"

[Freebird]

Way to go sweetcarolinee!!!! is the first time you have worked on your esty stuff (not really what kind of work you do- sorry) without adderall? Just wondering... I use to play around with photography but ever since I quick taking adderall I really haven't been into much. I just get overwhelmed whenever I go into my studio/office with all my little piles. i actually spent so much time on adderall I just look around and it is sooo weird the things I decided to organize. anyway again just curious and hoping you would inspire me with your enthusiasm... which I always find encouraging.

[Jon]

Sweet C congrats on 40+ days You are one of the rare few that are able to break through. Call it tenacity, grit, or determination whatever the "it" factor is you have it.   

Fortitude: strength and endurance in a difficult or painful situation.

[SweetCarolinee]

WOW guys! Thank y'all so much. All this support and encouragement means so much to me and it made me smile huge to see all your wonderful comments.

Day 47: On a roll!

JUSTIN - you make a great point. I'm not sure if I really have. I think I am the healthiest I've ever been in my life and this is during recovery so I'm not even near where I plan on being this time next year - health and fitness wise. But I want to be the healthiest and best version of me I can be - mind, body and soul (not just on the outside). I notice a lot of those crazy side effects gone, which is so delightful. I think I'm getting healthier mentally as well. More stable. More at peace. I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. More real and genuine. I can live in and appreciate the moment at hand. I was getting so depressed and down and angry for no reason on the pills and now I'm not, it's like a dark weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now I'm just surrounded by a positive, bright light. It feels really good. I feel free…

My boyfriend has noticed a difference. We are currently long distance for a few months but we get to see each other a lot and he thinks I'm way more calmer now and is happy I'm not on that shit anymore.

My focus is still out of control, it's hard for me to drive even. As silly as this sounds, I'm so distracted by everything, houses, the woods, birds, the snow, etc. I love to people watch and look at architecture, etc. so it's hard. I have to focus so hard just driving. I think I've been sleeping too much though and I've still been slacking on my business.

ROBIN - Mostly. It's been really hard. I feel like I use all my energy eating healthy and working out now and trying to heal/recovery, I have no energy left for anything else. I'm still really creative though, thank God, it's just the way I think - like "what if?" I was worried. But now when I sit down to paint, it takes me much longer and I paint for a much shorter time - without Adderall. When it comes down to running my business or taking/editing the photos or doing the listings, I haven't done any of that yet really (since being clean). I actually have a shit load of inventory, vintage clothes and pillows I've designed and sewn, I haven't gotten up yet on it but need too. I've answered messages and done the little, easy parts like shipping out orders. We made a deal with a blogger recently, which is awesome. I went to school for textiles/fibers so I'm a repeat pattern/surface designer -- I've been out of school for 2 years and it's been hard finding a permitted job. I make patterns, prints, paintings, collections, etc. for products like clothes or furniture or commission or freelance work while running/co-owning the Etsy shop and designing for it as well. I also do local art shows at surrounding galleries and art contests. If you want to check out the shop, here it is: http://www.etsy.com/shop/whydontyouhaveaseat

It's been hard though and overwhelming. My studios a mess lol and coffee doesn't help as much as I wish but I overall feel better without Adderall so no turning back. We got this! We just have to force ourselves to do what we gotta do!

Ahhh Sorry this post was so long and confusing!

[SweetCarolinee]

I have discovered a new TV show I love though, Shameless, have any of you seen it?

[Zerokewl]

I have discovered a new TV show I love though, Shameless, have any of you seen it?

British or USA version?

[Zerokewl]

WOW guys! Thank y'all so much. All this support and encouragement means so much to me and it made me smile huge to see all your wonderful comments.

Day 47: On a roll!

JUSTIN - you make a great point. I'm not sure if I really have. I think I am the healthiest I've ever been in my life and this is during recovery so I'm not even near where I plan on being this time next year - health and fitness wise. But I want to be the healthiest and best version of me I can be - mind, body and soul (not just on the outside). I notice a lot of those crazy side effects gone, which is so delightful. I think I'm getting healthier mentally as well. More stable. More at peace. I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. More real and genuine. I can live in and appreciate the moment at hand. I was getting so depressed and down and angry for no reason on the pills and now I'm not, it's like a dark weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now I'm just surrounded by a positive, bright light. It feels really good. I feel free…

My boyfriend has noticed a difference. We are currently long distance for a few months but we get to see each other a lot and he thinks I'm way more calmer now and is happy I'm not on that shit anymore.

My focus is still out of control, it's hard for me to drive even. As silly as this sounds, I'm so distracted by everything, houses, the woods, birds, the snow, etc. I love to people watch and look at architecture, etc. so it's hard. I have to focus so hard just driving. I think I've been sleeping too much though and I've still been slacking on my business.

ROBIN - Mostly. It's been really hard. I feel like I use all my energy eating healthy and working out now and trying to heal/recovery, I have no energy left for anything else. I'm still really creative though, thank God, it's just the way I think - like "what if?" I was worried. But now when I sit down to paint, it takes me much longer and I paint for a much shorter time - without Adderall. When it comes down to running my business or taking/editing the photos or doing the listings, I haven't done any of that yet really (since being clean). I actually have a shit load of inventory, vintage clothes and pillows I've designed and sewn, I haven't gotten up yet on it but need too. I've answered messages and done the little, easy parts like shipping out orders. We made a deal with a blogger recently, which is awesome. I went to school for textiles/fibers so I'm a repeat pattern/surface designer -- I've been out of school for 2 years and it's been hard finding a permitted job. I make patterns, prints, paintings, collections, etc. for products like clothes or furniture or commission or freelance work while running/co-owning the Etsy shop and designing for it as well. I also do local art shows at surrounding galleries and art contests. If you want to check out the shop, here it is: http://www.etsy.com/shop/whydontyouhaveaseat

It's been hard though and overwhelming. My studios a mess lol and coffee doesn't help as much as I wish but I overall feel better without Adderall so no turning back. We got this! We just have to force ourselves to do what we gotta do!

Ahhh Sorry this post was so long and confusing! up. I a

 

I slacked really hard with my business in the early months. I wanted to work 8-10 hours a day. The reality was I could manage about an hour of good focused work.  I think slowly but surely my stamina built up I'm able to work about 6-7 hours a day. Just keep plugging eventually your work groove. I read this article over and over http://quittingadderall.com/10-adderall-work-habits-break/ 

[Jon]

I like your etsy website, SweetCarolinee. Thanks for sharing it with us. Now, you remind me of the main character in the movie Uptown Girls, who likes to design clothes. It was a sweet movie. You would probably like it.

 

Congratulations on day 47. You definately have fortitude and a lot of creativity!

[JustinW]

SweetCarolinee - something will hit you out of the blue one day soon and you'll be surprised at the change; I almost envy those in early recovery because you get fewer of those epiphanies as time rolls on.

[ashley6]

Sweetcarolinee,

Your etsy shop is great! The dresses are adorable, and I want to buy them. Money is tight right now, but when things ease up a little, I want to shop your store! You're so talented!

[SweetCarolinee]

Thanks everyone so much for the kind words! You all are the greatest.

Ashley - Thanks for the kind words! Money is really tight for me right now too but if you ever have your eye on something in my shop, tell me and I will for sure give you a friend discounted price!
Jon - haha thanks so much I enjoy that movie, haven't seen it in forever though!

ZeroKewl - I think the American Shameless - it's so good. I was up til 4am watching it last night and had to wake up at 8am :/

Hope everyone is having a great, romantic VALENTINES day

Sending ya all my love.
I made it to sunny FL a few hours ago, so happy… I got out of that snow.

Day 48 and 49: check and check!

[Luckyducky]

Sweetcaroline congrats I love all your post they are so uplifting and inspiring

[Luckyducky]

Sweetcaroline congrats I love all your post they are so uplifting and inspiring

[Zerokewl]

sweetcaroline check out the British version of Shameless its the inspiration for the US version. 

[SweetCarolinee]

Thanks so much LuckyDucky - I'm so glad you found this site!

 

And I definitely need to do that ZeroKewl, thanks for the heads up.

 

Day: 50 and 51: HOLLLAA!!!   This is crazy!

[JustinW]

I'm so happy that you broke the 2/3 point of the 60 day challenge!

[jaymeyer26]

Now that I have made it past the 30-day mark, I thought I would jump in here!

Day 32 for me: check!

Sweetcaroline - congrats on making it so far! You are definitely my inspiration! Just a few weeks ahead of me so it's great to see how you are feeling and doing. Keep it up!

[JustinW]

Welcome to the 60 day challenge Jay!

[SweetCarolinee]

Hey guys!

SO sorry I've been MIA… I'm still in FL (Gulf coast) and on Tue. I rented a car and drove to the east coast to visit my grandparents who are in their early 90s… And my grandmother has been battling breast cancer for almost 13 years so it is always great to see them and spend time with them. And they didn't have internet, which is good though so I have no distractions while spending time with them. When I got back a few days later, my bf threw all my shit into his car and we drove to his parents lake house (in central FL) that also has no internet, phone service or cable so it's like camping but with a roof over our head, electric, running water, a kitchen, bathroom, and warm bed. It's like the best of both worlds so that is what I have been up too lately! I've gotten some great hikes and runs in. I have been eating a little naughtier than I like - my bf is able to eat whatever he wants and never gain weight so he can sometimes be a bad influence on what we eat but oh well, I'm gonna sweat it all out in yoga when I get back this Wednesday. Hope everyone is doing well, I've missed ya all.

Guys I'm on day 59 today!

Jay: I am so glad your on the 60 day challange, your killin' it buddy, great work!! Have you guys had the baby yet!?

[JustinW]

Glad to hear that you are still hanging in there SC and that you had a technological sabbatical.  Those are nice to have every once in a while.  Congratulations on day 59!

[SweetCarolinee]

Thank you so much Justin.

Day: 60, 61, and 62 - SUCCESS!

I guess I can stop being on this thread now lol

I'm back home and gonna try up yoga again tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing very well!!

[JustinW]

Way to go finishing up 60 days SweetCarolinee!  Good luck with the yoga and keep us updated on your progress.

[jaymeyer26]

Day 49 - confirmed!

Well I have been away for a little over two weeks while enjoying the birth of my first child! What an incredible ride it has been. Everybody is doing well, except mom and dad are a little sleep deprived. I have not had much time to even think about Adderall with all the happenings over the last couple of weeks, but I will be honest and say that there were a few nights I was so tired and needed to stay up to help my wife that I thought about it. I think if I would have had some at my disposal, I would have definitely used it. Now that I have come out of that fog, I am so thankful you all helped me have the strength to throw my supply out when I did oh so long ago. I simply didn't have access to it in a weak moment and once the moment passed, I was so grateful I didn't succumb. 

So now closing in on Day 60 and feeling pretty good!

[JustinW]

Congratulations Jay!  The sleep deprivation will end, in about 21 years or so...

 

Glad to hear that you are still progressing on your quit even with the triggers that you are experiencing.

[jaymeyer26]

I am ashamed and embarrassed to have to write this post, but I used Adderall starting last Wednesday and have been on it everyday since.

I had been struggling to keep up with my workload with the lack of sleep I've been getting at home and was a weak person when I headed to see my doctor last Wednesday. I told her about my work struggles and she said to just keep taking the Adderall. I wish I could have been stronger and said no, but at that moment she was all the enabling I needed. I ran to the pharmacy and fill the prescription and worked better than I have in the past two months. I felt so great. Then came that night and I literally got about an hour of sleep - not because of the baby, but because of the drug. And so the cycle quickly came back - I got to work the next day and promised myself I wouldn't take too much, but once I was back on it I didn't care. I took it late in the day again and barely slept again. Now I'm a week in again, already feeling awful and sleep deprived, but popped the pill right when I got to work. 

It's made me sad to think how easily I fell off after 2 strong months of sobriety. I have been dreading having to tell someone that I did use again and was nervous to get on here and write about my failure. I honestly thought about lying, but then realized that if I did that, I would have nowhere to turn. So here I am owning up to it and asking for your thoughts and support. I am going to try and get the strength today to tear up the other prescriptions she gave me and then safely dispose of the pills. 

[JustinW]

We still support you and your effort to quit Jay.  Please consider telling your doctor that you cannot be prescribed this stuff anymore or else find a different doctor that you can communicate with in a more open way.  I know it wasn't easy to come on the board and be honest.  Thank you for coming back and stay closer to the forum so we can be a stronger support structure for you during your quit.