BeverlyM Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 It's kind of ironic really... We are prescribed it to help us focus, pay better attention, etc.. But the one thing I keep finding myself doing over and over is looking for a distraction. Anything that will keep my mind off of what I'm "supposed to do" which is take the medicine. I'm sure it would have been different if I was always perfect and never abused the holy hell out of it for 10 years, but in my defense... What highschool kid ISNT gonna pop an extra one here and there to keep the excitement in working and just life in general, really. I don't think anybody purposefully started taking copious amounts of Adderall all of a sudden BC it seems fun. Every one of us on this site did nothing except be damn human. There was no "you may not ever feel real happiness again" label on the bottle. Nobody to explain what dopamine is to a 9th grader that doesn't realize she's slowly killing her personality, and goals, and relationships. Then one day, 10 years later we find ourselves here, seeking guidance because we were royally screwed when our parents gave us amphetamines in 3rd grade. That's when mine started, anyway. I never had a choice. And now I sit here, wondering if everything in the room is actually jigglin a little bit, when obviously its not. I'm trying to quit taking this medication but everything in the entire world (except for this website) SCREAMS "take your damn medicine, fool. Of course you feel like shit. You gotta take your medicine." Then before we know it, we've gradually taken a total of 120+ mgs by the end of the day just by poppin one when we feel like nothing has a purpose all of a sudden. This is so hard. It physically hurts. And the dependencies my body has acquired psychologically are gonna be stuck with me for a really long damn time, whether I can quit or not. It's depressing. And the fact that I know I'm gonna get fat doesn't motivate me to not give in to taking it either. I just don't know how to deal with any of this. I'm not happy with or without it but at least i don't feel like every single damn thing I do, or think ab doing, or think ab saying, or think ab LOOKING at, EVERYTHING is pointless until I get my damn "meds" This is rough, yall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 "There was no "you may not ever feel real happiness again" label on the bottle."If only there were. It damn well belongs there as a legitimate warning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeverlyM Posted April 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 Seriously. Definitely need to tell ppl what their future holds for them (or their childs) by starting this medication. I have never looked it up, but I would bet statistically over 90% of kids that were givin Adderall abuse it before they are in 10th grade. What's SAD is that I remember taking it in middle school and starting to realize the effects it was having and LIKING it, and I had no idea that it was a bad thing. It made me feel like I was doin something right. How is a child NOT going to grow up with a serious addiction when that's their thought process while completely innocent. It makes me sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 The first time I tried it, my first reaction was jealousy towards those who had a prescription. How nice it must be to have (what at the time seemed like) unlimited access to something that seemed to fix any problem I could ever have. Fast forward to now and my heart breaks for people who were put into that hopeless situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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