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I look like crap!


catw66

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I've been feeling pretty stressed out. Down to 10 mg on my taper and am thinking of taking it down to 7.5 or 5 sooner than advised since my bdoy adjusted going from 12.5 to 10 mg. 

 

I have been feeling pretty much like I am going to go over the edge some days due to the mood swings.

 

I went to get a haircut today and I just looked awful outside of the nice, more flattering lights that are in my bathroom. I looked like someone who's a meth addict or a smoker.

 

Granted, I have also not been sleeping well due to I have been battling fleas in my house. I guess I didn't expect to look this pale and haggard since I've tapered by more than a half.

 

But I have to tell myself that I remember noticing how much healthier I looked last time I got off of it. I compared two photos of myself. In the first one (on Adderall), I just looked pale with dark circles under my eyes. About four months later, I looked completely refreshed and healthy, like my face had filled out, though I didn't gain a bunch of weight or anything.

 

But today was just a shocker.

 

I realize that Adderall is dehydrating and that it also constricts blood flow, so this makes sense.

And my hair is thinning and coming out in clumps in the shower....

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@catw66--

You're totally on your way to looking great again.  I've had a lot of people come up to me (now that I'm clean) and tell me how much better I look.  They comment on my skin, my hair, even the light in my eyes.  You will get there..you're just 10mg away.  And the best part is that as soon as you're clean, you'll notice changes in your appearance almost immediately.  You don't have to wait long.

 

Keep that image of you as a memory though, to deter you from ever going back to that place.  

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compared two photos of myself. In the first one (on Adderall), I just looked pale with dark circles under my eyes. About four months later, I looked completely refreshed and healthy, like my face had filled out, though I didn't gain a bunch of weight or anything.

 

I'll bet money the same thing happens again.  Just give it time!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I remember looking sickly like you described and it was awful.  I remember being out to eat with my family and church friends one time and I was sooo embarrassed and I remember telling my mom I look like a meth addict or crack head.  I would look in the mirror sometimes and would just freak out not seeing the true me. One thing I always tried to do though was take care of my teeth and always keep them clean.  See when I was abusing I would always try to be somewhat healthy and stuff but I was also drinking a lot of alcohol while I was on them and the next day was horrendous!!  Fortunately is does get  better with sleep, eating good, and exercise, but like nouedis stated right now just relaxing and taking it easy is the best thing so you  don't get overwhelmed.

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Another thing is the part that is entirely psychological.

 

I remember the first few times I took adderall in the library (during the honeymoon phase).  When I went to the bathroom and was washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror and wasted a few minutes because I just couldn't get over how good looking I thought I was, LOL.

 

But sometimes when I'm feeling blue, I look in the mirror and don't really notice my positive traits so much as zero in on the negative ones: blemishes, my lazy eye, how my hair looks like crap, etc.

 

Couple this effect with the slow and steady weight gain from quitting and you have a recipe for a trend which is not worth wasting a thought on!  Just stay focused on getting clean and things will just get brighter and better in general.

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