Doge Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 one day at a time, you are doing really well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 how does it feel like to be without Adderall for 1000 days? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 I recently bought some 5htp and I don't think it is a placebo supplement. The only thing is that I don't want to be sad without the 5htp. I like that it's really a relief but I want to feel like this without the 5htp. Before abusing the adderall, my mental flexibility was like an8/10. After abusing it it shrinked to 3/10. The 5htp gives a positive mood energy but I think it's just not right that I have to pop something in order to stabilize my mood. I promise you that I won't use amphetamine ever,again. I want to see how ill be like a year from now 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 I really want science to go deeper into amphetamine so that they put FDA to prison. Because of this drug being legal, we were all tricked into thinking that it's so incredibly safe because it's legal and doctors who have their medical degrees won't be wrong. Like someone has to put an end to this drug. If you know what desoxyn is, it's basically legal methamphetamine which is made by pharmaceutical companies. Do you see how wrong that is. Every one is worried about cannabis peer pressure among teens while FDA is just laughing at us. The thing that triggers my depression is when I think about how I was a normal capable person but now my reality is so dark. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted September 21, 2015 Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 We all feel that way... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 I took 5htp and it gave me a really fast heart rate and better mood. I also don't have hunger. I used to draw while on adderall and the 5htp almost makes my head space very similar. I have only taken 2 5htps so far and im already not too comfortable with it. I threw the rest of the pills away. I'm scared that the comedown will make me feel shitty like adderall again. It's day 69 and I don't want to go back to where I started 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 How are you feeling now coming off of the 5HTP? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 i'm fine. there isn't a withdrawal symptom. i'm physiologically and psychologically unhealhty. i think my heart has become fragile from all the stimulants. i think caffeine is giving me a poor blood circulation. if you're a healhty person, your heart beat is steady. sometimes, i touch my neck to feel the pulse, it feels low. so i should seriously quit caffeine and i'm going to start exercising. if i don't do that, i might have heart problems in the future. i can't sleep right without having to breath more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Well, good. I am glad you aren't having any withdrawal issues. Heaven knows you don't need more of that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 73 days sober. Adderalls definitely been the worst damaging drug. Although im not alone through the recovering process, the drug makes u so excluded and empty. I feel like the countless binges broke my mind. I no longer smoke weed because I only want to recover. If I weren't involved with this adderall dark path, id probably be a big stoner who would never have been depressed at all.. It's so annoying to even think that I was once a pill head. Idk. I don't think writing this message helps in any ways but I just can't keep it to myself. I try to think that im not being negative on purpose but it empowers over the good emotions. I feel ike ill probably never be the same happy, excited and energetic person before I took this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I really want science to go deeper into amphetamine so that they put FDA to prison. Because of this drug being legal, we were all tricked into thinking that it's so incredibly safe because it's legal and doctors who have their medical degrees won't be wrong. Like someone has to put an end to this drug. If you know what desoxyn is, it's basically legal methamphetamine which is made by pharmaceutical companies. Do you see how wrong that is. Every one is worried about cannabis peer pressure among teens while FDA is just laughing at us. The thing that triggers my depression is when I think about how I was a normal capable person but now my reality is so dark. YES. Agreed. I think it needs to be illegal and on top of that, all manufacturing needs to stop so it's no longer even in existence eventually. I like the idea of putting the FDA into prison! The pharmaceutical companies and alcohol companies are making massive amounts of money off of the fact that cannabis is illegal. I'm pretty sure they're giving the FDA loads of money. For example, I have prescription sleeping pills with horrible side effects like possible kidney stones(!!), glaucoma, twitching, tingling, etc. I don't really take it cause I'm too scared so I just live with 3-6 hours of sleep a night these days. My dr. gives that crap to me like it's nothing. But in my state I can't legally go to the local dispensary for some medical brownies to help my insomnia, which would have no side effects except the high that I would sleep through anyway. FKADDERALL, it's awesome that you're quitting so young. That means your brain will recover more quickly than older quitters like me Just remember to never, ever take one ever again. I quit when I was like 20, and thought I would never take it again. I thought the same way we all do now. But then I took ONE 5 mg pill at age 26. That was ALL it took to start a major 3-year-long, significantly worse addiction and recovery. With every relapse, usually the addiction is worse and so is the quitting. So please learn from my mistake-- if you want to stay clean, you need to just stay away from the stuff for good! You're doing the right thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 73 days sober. Adderalls definitely been the worst damaging drug. Although im not alone through the recovering process, the drug makes u so excluded and empty. I feel like the countless binges broke my mind. I no longer smoke weed because I only want to recover. If I weren't involved with this adderall dark path, id probably be a big stoner who would never have been depressed at all.. It's so annoying to even think that I was once a pill head. Idk. I don't think writing this message helps in any ways but I just can't keep it to myself. I try to think that im not being negative on purpose but it empowers over the good emotions. I feel ike ill probably never be the same happy, excited and energetic person before I took this. Congrats on 73 days friend! I think we all can relate to the depression, anxiety, empty, lonely, and sometimes hopeless feelings you're talking about. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be the same happy, excited, energetic person I once was. I worry that I damaged myself permanently. But those feelings usually only come up on my worst days. Overall I feel a hundred thousand times better now at almost 3 years than I did in the first 6-8 months. You will, too. You are so early in your recovery. What helps me is to force myself to do things and stay busy. Make plans for lunch with a friend in advance, and force yourself to go. Stuff like that. Whatever we do we CANNOT give up hope for a better future! Look up "neuroplasticity." People can even re-grow brain cells after a stroke. Someone said that in this forum once, that quitting adderall is like a stroke victim re-learning to play the piano. Kind of an extreme analogy but it has really helped me understand what we're up against. It can be done, but it's really frustrating because the things that used to work don't anymore....not right now. We have to re-grow those brain cells and re-train our bodies and minds. Also, this forum is the reason why a LOT of people have stayed clean. Quitting adderall is a unique and lonely process that few people in your "real life" will understand. But we get it!! Come post every day, as much as you want. Trust me, getting those feelings off your chest helps in the long term. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2015 That means alot mate. I haven't actually been depressed at all last week. Right now, I'm 50x happier than the first day of withdrawal. see, people who were not born addicts become speed heads because of FDA.right now, My brain feels 95% less foggy. I think that the environment where a person lives can continue the depressive state and the drug use. Living by the beach might make our struggling days easier to cope with.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted September 27, 2015 Report Share Posted September 27, 2015 Living by the beach might make our struggling days easier to cope with.. Haha... amen!! Someone take me to Hawaii please! Anyways, I'm glad you're feeling better. There will be ups and downs still for the next few months while you recalibrate still. But they eventually calm down and stabilize. In fact since you are so young you probabily will feel better even sooner. It's so awesome that you quit early. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Yay, 78 without addies and I haven't been depressed this week. I'm currently binging on caffeine. Addiction doesn't go away. I don't have any desire to take adderall because I don't want to end up looking like a meth head. So, what can I do to stop consuming caffeine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Is caffeine causing your life to fall apart?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted October 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 no, it's nothing compared to being a tweaker. it's mild but it still interferes with recovering. i kinda take things to the maximum limit. if i were to get stoned, id take 7 hits. if i were to get drunk, id drink half a bottle. if were to be stimulated on caffeine, id take like 5 shots of espressos. So, life is like 80% now after stopping adderall and i must say that id probably be more clear headed if i didn't take caffeine at all. it should take me like 2 months to function without any caffeine. if i weren't stimulated at all, my recovering process would probably be at a faster pace. now caffeine doesn't really wake me up anymore... tolerance is some shit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 I once read that coffee isn't effective after two cups, so if you drink coffee you shouldn't drink more than 2 cups at a time (ideally per day). I drank 2 cups of coffee per day for the first 3 years off Adderall, now I only drink herbal tea and I feel great. Now if I occassionally have a cup of coffee I really get wired. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 no, it's nothing compared to being a tweaker. it's mild but it still interferes with recovering. i kinda take things to the maximum limit. if i were to get stoned, id take 7 hits. if i were to get drunk, id drink half a bottle. if were to be stimulated on caffeine, id take like 5 shots of espressos. So, life is like 80% now after stopping adderall and i must say that id probably be more clear headed if i didn't take caffeine at all. it should take me like 2 months to function without any caffeine. if i weren't stimulated at all, my recovering process would probably be at a faster pace. now caffeine doesn't really wake me up anymore... tolerance is some shit I am the same way, and so are many people with "addictive personalities." It's ride-or-die, all-or-nothing!! Honestly, after a couple months I started just losing my taste for caffeine. I still have maybe a cup of coffee in the AM but that's it. You seem especially worried about it. If you're that worried, why not just take a day off and see how it feels? Do you like to work out? What if you start taking this energy out on a new workout habit like running? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 You have to step down coffee. It is really the only thing I have ever been successful at tapering down. If you quit cold turkey, you will get slammed with massive headaches. Up to you, of course... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 5, 2015 Report Share Posted October 5, 2015 i think stepping down works well for things that you can't step up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted October 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 i went on a 6 mile run at the gym and it was fking awesome. So I have a question. do you really get healed from the amphetamine addiction. I know that once you're an addict, you'll always be an addict. my question is, does the brain actually heal over time. also, I know that some of you took Adderall because of depression so you always had depression even without Adderall but it just made ur situations worse. I'm 100% sure that I became depressed less than a year ago because of this shit. 2 years ago, my life was a 9/10. last year 2014-2015 it lowered to a 3/10 and that's what really made me want to quit. i just couldn't stand the depression and the withdrawal made me have a lot of negative thoughts.iv been sober and clean for 85 days and I know that I'm just barely recovering but I want to know if drug induced depression goes away because i'll do everything i can to not ever use Adderall ever again. also, i don't think caffeine actually causes my depression but it's still a stimulant so i want my head to be clear without having to face caffeine withdrawal. i know amphetamine causes brain damage and i don't want to live the rest of my life feeling spacey and lifeless. so, in my senior year of highschool (last year) i had like a terrible gpa. now, i actually have A's in most of my quizzes and test and this is my first year of college. Does physical energy relate to mental energy. i used to be a jumping ball with lots of energy. At parties, i could be sober and i would be the center of attention. I was a good dancer but now i never dance anymore. now i'm always tired. i know that the amount of time you abused a drug should correlate to the time you will recover. so as i said, i really began abusing it only for a year so does this mean that i'll recover quickly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizLemonade Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 ugh. i am jealous. drink your coffee. It's fine to look like a doctor or lawyer and hit on baristas. If you hate it, taper down. Caffeine is NOTHING compared to getting off addies. You have it, please don't rub it in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizLemonade Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 and call me computer unsavvy, but I was responding to some kid who got off adderall and got hooked on coffee. Where did he go? I guess I am sorry for the above post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Youth=Impatience. Give it time, friend... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.