Beback17 Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 I'm scared - I've used this medication before, and quit as soon as I began feeling bad effects (depression, worry, losing too much weight, personality change, etc.) but this time my work load is doubled and my need to be successful with my new responsibilities and move is very important to me. I'm also in a new relationship (got my script filled almost a month into being with him) so I don't want to have to blow him off for a couple of weeks to get better. It's only been two months, so quitting can't be too bad?? I know I need to quit. I think people at work are noticing a change in my personality, and I don't think it's helping me at work as much as I think. The only thing is does is help me stay still at my cubicle pumping out work. the problem is, sometimes you need to step back and think about how to proceed with projects, due dates, etc. Adderall ruins that ability because you frantically work to pump it out as quickly as possible. And the weight loss! I'm typically a very healthy 116 to 119 with great muscle tone and an almost daily workout routine. Well, it has sucked the enjoyment out of fitness, because my heart rate jumps through the roof with workouts that I blew through. I'm now 111 lbs and I've been eating a lot on the weekends, and drinking more than usual (with new bf). he s really fit and healthy (a triathlete), so I want to do some races with him in the future. I have a super busy day at work tomorrow, but after getting on the scale, I really want to not take this stuff tomorrow. also, new bf noticed something different about me the first week I was using this stuff, and he has continuously noticed a change. I know I'm strong, but I am scared of losing my footing in a lot of areas. Any bit of encouragement or advise would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for being here you guys. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 If you've been using the prescribed dose for 2 months, quitting shouldn't be too painful. But there will still probably be some sort of withdrawal process. There shouldn't be any reason you can't tell your bf that you were prescribed medication and it's been affecting your personality negatively. This will also explain why you won't be yourself either for a couple of weeks while you adapt. The adaptation back to normality, if you've only been using 2 months, should be relatively quick. I'll tell you the same thing I told you 6 weeks ago. Quit now. If you are worried about quitting now, you will be in for HELL if you let this go on for a year. And trust me that year will fucking FLY by on speed, which is what you are taking. Everyone on this site will probably say the same thing. If your job is making you feel like you have no other option than to resort to adderall usage. QUIT the fucking job! It's not worth it! You are rolling down a gradual decline right now, headed for a very steep drop-off. Much easier to stand up, dust yourself off, and walk away from it then have to climb out of the fiery canyon of hell that you will inevitably fall into if you continue using this drug. You know what you need to do. You said it yourself in your post. Post on this forum lots for support. You can get through this "fairly easily" if you quit now. I am truly sorry if I sound overly direct and harsh, but I want very badly for you not to feel the burning agony that you are in for if you don't. We are all here for you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 be aware that adderall also creates the illusion of being under pressure and overwhelming odds. it thrives off this. i always felt like i was rushing to complete things, that there was no time and that stopping adderall would bring everything to a screeching halt. its not true. when i was binging for days on end, i remember trying to tell myself "you can't live your whole life in one day." its weird how adderall convinces you of the opposite. just flush the pills and never look back. you'll find that the world doesnt need to spin so fast (: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 28, 2015 Report Share Posted October 28, 2015 i remember trying to tell myself "you can't live your whole life in one day." so chilling. i never thought this myself but when you say it it really takes me back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beback17 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Thank you for the input, it is helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beback17 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 That is so true. Honestly, I don't even think it has helped me at work. I feel like I would have done so much better without it. I've been doing really well there for 2 years, then my work load increased (which I wanted it to), but I felt like I had to be a superstar and my little mistakes were unacceptable to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 you should stop taking them this weekend, i bet you will be able to function by monday if you relax for the weekend even if you aren't quite at your best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Congrats on realizing you need to quit now. You need to accept it and just do it. It's only downhill from here..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 this guy hasn't been around in a while 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmytheCatLover Posted November 2, 2015 Report Share Posted November 2, 2015 I second doge's advice to quit over the weekend. Take a sick day on Monday if you have to. Or work from home if you have that flexibility. I've quit and relapsed about four times now, and the initial withdrawal is always hard. I usually sleep 12-14 hours for the first two or three nights, and take naps, and can't do much brain-intensive thinking. This last time, I'm really committed to making it stick. The first two days, I knew to be kind to myself (couch, Pitch Perfect 2, and the Game of Thrones books), knowing that putting lots of pressure on myself will only lead to destructive thoughts that make me want to use again. Good luck! I'm rooting for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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