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My husband- Advice?


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My husband has been on adderall for about 5 years. Since he's been on it, I don't see him much. If he's not at work he's usually in his barn "tinkering" around. Fixing something, building something... whatever.  There are so many things just botteling up inside, I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry in advance.

 

1) Many days during the week he'll not sleep at all. He'll come home, go to the barn, stay up all night, go to work the next morning.  I get so worried about him. What ends up happening is that during the weekend his body shuts down and he just sleeps ALL weekend. I get infuriated because I stay at home ALL day with our three kids, and not only do I not have any help ALL week, I get ZERO help during the weekend because if he's not out in the barn, he's sleeping. There is NO family time.

 

2) I don't even know if he takes his normal dose anymore. I assume not, because he always seems to be out by the end of the month, which is the biggest issue because he's SO AWFUL. His mood is just so bad. He's been in the house for the past 4 days and I'm in tears because I just can't deal with his moodiness.He picks apart EVERYTHING I do. It's like two COMPLETELY different people that I'm dealing with, and I honestly don't know how to handle it anymore.  Is it normal for people to have severe mood swings when they are off their adderall?

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. 

 

 

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Yes it is normal when they are on it and when they are coming off of it.

 

I wish there was something to say to help your situation but all I can do is confirm that what you are describing is indeed normal behaviour for a user.

 

I wish I knew how to help.  :<  

Please don't be sorry and post more if you have any questions!

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I'm so sorry. But yes, this sounds like adderall abuse. The drug can also cause delusional thoughts about your family or relationships that cause you to avoid them and wall up and focus on something else, like work.

Have you confronted him at all about your concerns for his possible drug abuse? That may be difficult as I would not have believed that the pills were doing it to me if I were in his shoes. I would have just blamed my behavior on my partner or spouse.

Maybe what would have been best for me would be to know about this website...send him a link perhaps? And then start taking care of yourself and your children, maybe join a support group for partners of abusers or similar?

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I know what your talking about because I've been your husband for the last couple of years. I would work all day come home head right to the garage start working on a project stay up all night take more adderal and go to work again , plus I was taking oxy because my body ached so bad I was really fucked up. My fiancé was also on adderal not to the extreme I was but she really could not criticize me so said nothing. I think if she came forward and said what you did in your post I would have thought about quitting sooner. The problem with the drug is your husband really believes what he is doing is top priority and he in his mind is doing much more for his family vs any mortal man not on this super drug. However once your off the drug for awhile and look back you realize most things you accomplished were just a egotistical goal of perfection for self fulfillment. The best time to approach is a hard one knowing your husbands personality I would consider the best time to act. I think if your children are old enough have them write a letter saying how they want dad to spend more time with them. Ever since I stopped my relationship with my children has greatly increased however my production at work and getting things done has gone way down I'm still struggling. It's a total nightmare to stop it takes months to recover you may lose jobs etc but if you continue on the adderal path you will die very young this stuff is speed your heart will explode and a life of regret is left behind.

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One thing I might add is understand if you do convince him to stop it will be very hard for you also. Understand the same man who works all day comes home works all night is going to be a lazy guy with no motivation for months. At times yourself you'll want to say scew it get back on the medication when task like even mowing the grass gets put off by him. Your basically going to go from a super man get everything done to a lazy slob who just wants to sit around and watch tv. Don't expect him to quit and be normal he will have a huge crash his brains ability to make the chemicals needed to have normal motivation is gone it comes back slowly each persons timeline seems to be different . I wish you the best of luck.

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