Can you explain how you felt during your withdrawals both physically and emotionally?

[Bubbagump99]

If you guys had to explain your withdrawals to someone who didn't understand, what would you say? How would you describe it?

[Doge]

as far as early withdrawals after a cold turkey quit during the first couple of days?  just feeling like i weighed 100 pounds more than i do, light headed, dizzy, tired, foggy, feeling like my brain is only running at 30%

[Bubbagump99]

In terms of everything... Also, how did you feel emotionally? There was a month where I just felt paralyzed. that's the best way I could describe it to someone.

[Doge]

yeah i still feel like that right now but only when im trying to force myself to focus on work.  when it comes to doing things I enjoy, the hours still just fly by.  but of course it wasn't like this during early recovery.  sometimes watching TV was exhausting lol

 

i think the biggest challenge many people face when coming off of adderall is accepting that they've let adderall convince them they had passion for something they actually hate (like whatever job it drove them to take)

[idonttan]

Angry, hungry& tired... "Where's my carton of ice cream and my gallon of coffee, and it's time for my 3pm nap for 2 hours now!!"

[EstherEmily]

Since I quit when I found out I was pregnant, it was easier I think. I couldn't tell if it was withdrawals or morning sickness! But it's been five months, and I'm just now getting out of the brain fog.

[Doge]

oh god those 3pm naps.....   so important  

[JustinW]

I felt like the whole world had come crashing down on me but there was no choice but to push on. It's a miserable existence for a while but you really start to be able to see your progress at 6 months which helps carry you through the first 2 years. Then life starts to settle out and the habits / coping mechanisms that you formed for yourself become incredibly important. The romance wears off during that time too and you only see darkness in going back to the drugs.

[bluemoon]

Justin, does it really get better at 6 months?? I'm at about 4 1/2 months, and well, you're right. It is a miserable existence. No other way to describe it. I feel like I am literally just existing. So grumpy and SO tired. And time is passing ever so slowwwwly...

 

I keep thinking that the next month will be better, but I feel like I've been at a stand-still in how I feel for the last few months. I'm still waiting for that day when I can come on here and write that I'm actually feeling pretty good. And right now, it feels like it will never come.

 

I feel like I'm at a weird stage of recovery... Absolutely no desire to ever go back to the pills whatsoever, but I'm so much of a grumpy, tired, miserable bitch that I can't even enjoy the fact that I've come this far. I can't enjoy anything really...  ... Sorry for being such a downer.

[Bubbagump99]

Hey bluemoon- how long were you on addy for & on what dosage? I know it's god awful hard... I'm tapering but can honestly say I'm scared of the day I put that last bit of pill in my mouth. I tried to quit cold turkey last year but literally couldn't function, especially at work. If I was a student and quit during summer break, that could of been possibly, but not when I actually have to live..

[Frank B]

It sucks bad! I'm sorry no way to paint a rainbow from me right now. I come on here to find encouragement and sometimes it can't really be found. Yes stopping would be easy if you could be a tree and just live everyday doing much of nothing. My stage I'm in now is a dangerous one when I get so fed up and tired of hearing this is a two year process I can't stand it. I was on a high dose of 60 mg for 8 years if you were on a lower dosage possibly won't be as bad. I thought threw craving a pill but today I'm just freaking pissed sick of it all can't stand myself welcome to the hell of quitting.

[Bubbagump99]

Frankie- you quit cold turkey from 60mg? 😑

[bluemoon]

I was on Adderall for almost 3 years (on and off). I was prescribed 20mg/day.... some days I would take 20mg, some days 60mg, some days none at all and just sleep all day... I can't even count how many times I tried to quit. Sometimes I would go a month without taking any at all, but then I would be so exhausted and tell myself that maybe I do "need" it, and start taking it again. 

 

You're right Jen, it would be nice if life could just stop and we could just take the time we need to recover and not have to worry about the demands of work and life. But, such is life... and I know in the end, we will be stronger for pushing through it... but in the mean time, recovery just plain sucks. No question about it. 

 

Frank, if anything, it helps to know that you feel the same way I do. I can't help but wonder if it's normal to still feel this shitty at close to five months in. I thought I would feel so much better by now. But it helps to know that you feel the same way. I agree that it's painful to hear that this is a two year process... It would be nice to see some more progress. I need some encouragement to keep going. The exhaustion is what gets me the most... Ugh. Thank God I cut off any possible way to get my hands on the pills. 

[Bubbagump99]

Bluemoon,

Have you tried eating a healthy diet with no carbs and limited sugar? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've found when I eat like that, I have more energy and way less depressed. if you haven't tried it, I'd give it a shot for just a couple days.

[Doge]

does it really get better at 6 months?

 

At around 5 months I had a horrible weeklong craving that just didn't let up and I was convinced I was never going to be over adderall.  Then afterwards, within a couple of months, life was full of bliss in comparison, just for being normal.  I still didn't have my productivity back, but the misery had passed for a while.  I now look back at on it as the calm after the storm.

 

The worse you feel during this phase, the better its going to feel when the pendulum swings back the other way.  You're still working towards equilibrium at this point.  Stay strong you are doing great!

[JustinW]

Yes, it most definitely does get better after 6 months (+/- a few weeks).  The changes at that point are noticeable; you won't feel back to normal but you will see the improvement in the quality of your life.  I joined these forums at about 5 months when I was just about ready to give up and the though crossed my mind up to about the 1 year point.  After 1 year, I rarely thought about going back and now I see it for what it is - a deep dark black hole that swallows your soul and personality.  Nothing is worth giving up who you are.  Stay strong and you will get there!

[hyper_critical]

Like I had a lobotomy, but angrier.

[Traceme]

Anyone ever have any terrible night sweats? 

[Bubbagump99]

I had night sweats in the early stages of tapering. can't remember how long they lasted for, but they were definitely there😨

[positivethoughts]

blue moon, I am at a little over 5 months, but I definitely know what you mean. When I quit cold turkey (2.5 yrs 70 mg of vyvanse/daily) I felt like nothingness, like nothing mattered, that I had no energy to do anything, and even if I did I wasnt sure if it would make me happy. Or if I ever could be happy ever ... at all. Its a truly dark place that feels like there is not a way out. It started with panic attacks, but then just turned into anxiety, combined with tiredness. The brain fog was paralyzing, sleep was terrible, the list goes on. 

 

But more recently my mind has changed, don't get me wrong, I still have bad days, but I am starting to find that there are things I really want to do. And I've found that doing anything that gets me closer to something that I have even the faintest inkling of wanting to do, makes me feel better. Is there an old friend you want to see? Shoot them a text and set up a get together or just start a conversation. Feel like doing nothing and playing video games? Look ahead in your schedule and figure out when you can do that - and then look forward to that. Is there a movie thats coming out that you might want to see? Go see it, even by yourself (I did this and got a big box of popcorn, it felt great). Think of it this way, during the recovery, which could take 6 more months, you arent expected to do much of anything - you arent well equipped to be able to do very much of anything - so anything you can do for yourself right now is a HUGE step in the right direction. And after awhile, all of these things will add up. 

 

After awhile of this, I find myself getting excited for things again. Getting excited to see people. And even though I still feel stress sometimes, or have misplaced anxiety, or feel depressed -- I am still getting closer and closer to the goal, happiness.

 

Also, I've cut out a lot of drinking, dont drink a lot of caffeine, drink relaxing teas, try to work out a few times a week, and eat lots of good foods (I have gained a talent making shakes every morning with veggies and fruits). 

 

Hang in there. I know sometimes it feels like its going nowhere, and you are totally lost, but thats when you look for those little things that you want to do. I used to hate hearing that the recovery could take years, but as I've gotten better, you realize you just focus on the good stuff, and do what you can to make more of the good stuff. You are stronger than you think!

[EstherEmily]

I just hit my six month mark a few days ago. I'm happy to hear it will only get better from here!

The hardest part - as silly as this sounds - is missing the fun I had on Adderall. Staying up all night, chain smoking and playing computer games. That sounds so awful right now - but on Adderall it was pure euphoric bliss.

Boredom has been harder to deal with than anything else.