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About idonttan

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  1. Day 9 and counting...My story begins...

    How are you doing now? Recovery is going to suck, and it's going to have its ups and downs, with far more downs than ups, but once you make it out of the withdrawal phase, you'll see why it's worth it. Therefore, be very very easy on yourself at first. I've found that regardless how hard I've tried to plan ahead to deal with the detox side effects, they're still inevitable, but they're also temporary.
  2. Vein failure

    I had severe leg pain at night when I was taking adderall as well, especially in my thighs, though it didn't get as severe as yours, probably because I took adderall for a shorter amount of time. Quitting first and foremost, followed by yoga and walking helped me A LOT, especially the yoga. The more blood circulation that you can get there, the better. Plus every time that I've relapsed, the leg pain would always return.
  3. The Six Month Challenge

    Made it past 6 months, day 275 today, but I did try to get in contact with my former psychiatrist, as well as attempt to see another one, but both attempts failed. I know these are all blessings in the long run, but I've been hitting a lot of lows lately, and it's making me miss my productivity and that dopamine high so much. Ugh, today and just this week in general has been very, very challenging, especially while sober.
  4. Found an old pill

    Good for you.. Just imagine tbe crash after the high has subsided, and not having anything to keep the dopamine release going. It's an absolute nightmare, and you would of wasted a whole day recovering and crying and not wanting to get out of bed.
  5. Crippling anxiety...

    I'm not far from being 7 months clean myself, and I've been struggling with daily panic attacks lately. I don't understand what's going on with my body and mind. I had no idea this would be part of the recovery? I thought that once I quit the Adderall, the panic attacks would lessen... When will it just cool down already?
  6. The Six Month Challenge

    Day 178. The panic attacks have drastically increased in the recent months, and I don't understand it. Adderall was what gave me the regular panic attacks, and once I quit it, I became so much more relaxed.. But that was only temporary. I've never before had it happen this frequently. I feel lost and confused
  7. Hang in there, it gets better! You'll eventually reach a point where you will be motivated enough to eat the right amount of the food. It just takes some patience and dedication... it's possible!
  8. The Six Month Challenge

    Back at it at posting here again.. Day 149.. 1 day away from marking 5 months of sobriety, and man do I miss that dopamine induced high!
  9. The Six Month Challenge

    Day 146. It's been a very low week due to work stress. I still want to go back to Adderall every time these stresses occur at work, but then I remember the person that I was when on it. I was paranoid, with tics, and getting stuff done while destroying everything around me.
  10. Colds are the worst without adderall

    It's funny you write that, because this is the first year that I've been sober the longest from Adderall, and I haven't had a cold all year.. for once in the 3 years that I was using! Although allergy season is finally starting to creep up on me :/
  11. The Six Month Challenge

    Day 127... Work has been getting super stressful with a million things due at once, and it feels so surreal to be continually doing all this work without Adderall.. On one hand, I give myself props, on the other I am so behind and always wondering: Am I really not going to find any Adderall to take, to help me complete this? Hate the stressful eating that comes with getting work done.
  12. The Six Month Challenge

    120 days/4 months clean today! Hooray!
  13. Angry, hungry& tired... "Where's my carton of ice cream and my gallon of coffee, and it's time for my 3pm nap for 2 hours now!!"
  14. No more diet coke or adderall-vyvanse!!

    My milk went bad so I decided to try using heavy cream instead... It's surprisingly not bad. Very high on the calories but I would definitely try it again.
  15. The Six Month Challenge

    This thread doesn't seem very active but after yet another relapse, I am very proud to say that I've finally reached 100 days without adderall!! I have quit in the past, 2-3 times, but never gone further than 93 days. My goal has always been to just reach 100, and then take it from there. Now that I've finally met that goal, I can't say that I feel a million times better, but life without adderall for this long is not as painfully horrific as I thought it'd be.