i might go back on this shit

[fkadderall]

hey guys, iv been without the pill for 1 year and 2 months. i have awful ADD and i can't find a solution. I have serious attention problems and i have told my doctor that i abused the drug in the past. anyway, i told my doctor to tell my mom to make sure that i always take the recommended dose. I know you guys might think this is the worst decision that i will make but i seriously need medication. I hate adderall too. i just need productivity, i'm in college and i'm not motivated to do shit. i won't abuse it. i have quit drinking, smoking, and benzos. i don't want to abuse any other substances. i'm planning to take a 20 mg ir.

[Frank B]

Before you pick up that prescription better think long and hard about doing it. Maybe college isn't your thing I think it's bs anyways people spend years go in huge depts then can't find a job. What about trying out a trade school or just stopping school for awhile to go work somewhere. It sounds like you need it because you really hate what your doing which if I was taking college courses I can't say I'd be any different.

[Bubbagump99]

I wouldn't do it but to each their own. I'd look into anything and everything else option wise before putting that pill back in your mouth. Good luck

[duffman]

Given that you made this post telling us you're wanting to take Adderall again rather than just taking Adderall and ditching this website, I'd assume you're looking for our insight and opinion on you going back on Adderall, so I'll give you my opinion..

 

No, you shouldn't go back on Adderall. 

 

First off, your name is Fuck Adderall. YOU made that name at the end or towards the end of your last Adderall use. Your past history of Adderall use is the best predictor of your future Adderall use, and it doesn't look good if you cursed the name of the drug that you plan on going back on. 

 

Second, I remember you made a post a long time ago saying something along the lines of "I think I found what I have going on with me" and you mentioned you thought you had Cushing's Disease. Now, assuming you don't have an adrenal or pituitary tumor, then it is safe to assume Adderall is what brought on your symptoms of Cushing's Disease, whether you had it or not. Are you really wanting to go back on a substance that brought on such miserable symptoms? You will absolutely acquire those symptoms of Cushing's again if you back on Adderall. 

 

Third, we all decided at one point to try to use Adderall in a safe and controlled manner, and we've all discovered that on a long enough timeline, you will develop a tolerance to the dose you're taking. 20 IR will give you an initial boost (though it will not feel as good as the first time you took it), and that's probably the feeling you're wanting right now. Though if you're going to be fair and balanced about this, also remember the feeling of when you crash. Absolutely miserable. You will crash and your studying will be done unless you take another pill, and so the cycle of addiction continues. 

 

I get it. Without Adderall, I've been dropping the ball on a few things in my life. I, too, have terrible ADD symptoms that do at times hinder my ability to deliver my best work. But now I'm learning to adapt from my mistakes and truly learn how to overcome them rather than take something that gives me that artificial feeling of accomplishment. 

 

You can accomplish what you want in life without Adderall. Do not go back to it. That is what I think.

[quit-once]

Before you hop aboard that Addie train again, I would hope that you go back to each and every one of your 80 posts and read them.  You have had your struggles and successes since quitting.  Your posts are actually a journal of your journey through the adderall recovery process.   The next time you choose to quit, the process will be even more challenging, and there will be a next time, because adderall is a hard drug and you can't spend the rest of your life on it.  

[Doge]

It was wisely said to me once as a warning:  "It's your choice, but just remember - actions have consequences."

 

Do yourself a favour, and ask yourself what is really going to happen if you do this.  

 

If you take one 20mg XR.  You'll be productive for about 20 minutes maybe when it kicks in, and then your brain will go into overdrive screaming for another pill.  All those cravings will return.

 

Let's assume best case scenario, you don't get another until the next day, because your mom dispenses your medication as arranged and doesn't let you up your dose.  If you're anything like me, instead of spending the day productively, you'll spend it plotting ways to trick your mother, or get access.  Again, best case scenario is that you fail at this.  But you will just be absolutely torturing yourself for absolutely zero gain.

 

Worst (and much more likely) scenario is that within a few days you manage to get your hands on the root of the supply, return to your old habits of upping your dose.  You spend 36 hours playing video games or whatever it is that you said you used to spend all-nighters doing when you were high.  It won't be as fun as you expect, and eventually (VERY QUICKLY) that bottle will run dry, and you will be left holding your head in your hands, picking up the pieces.  Trust me, I know all too well how this plays out.  You have gotten so much stronger over the last year, but addiction-wise, nothing has changed.  You have just forgotten how strong the grip is.

 

Find another solution.  Reduce your courseload.  Change your major.  Take a semester off.  Drop out.  Anything but this.

 

Adderall will abandon you again and leave you feeling lower than ever before.  Please don't do this.

 

If you go forward with this, it may well be the turning point you look back on one day and blame for when you destroyed your chance for success in school.

[fkadderall]

yeah i agree about everything mentioned above above. If a teacher had not called my parents in 2008, they would have never gone to see doctor. i didn't need the drug in 6th grade. ADHD was normal, i used to be very sharp. the drug ruined my brain's ability to think so now even though i'm a year and 2 months sober, my brain feels dull and my emotions are dulled too. i have attention span problem from abusing adderall, i also have panic attacks and have shitty social anxiety which didn't occur prior to abusing the drug. i know what this drug does. i don't know if the drug caused neurological problems but i can't focus at all... i am just so unproductive. and i know what the come downs are like. it does not require a large dose to feel crappy from comedowns. either way, i hate adderall/ the fact that this shit is even legal. i don't know what to do. 

 

[Doge]

read what you wrote in your "about me" section of your profile

[Frank B]

We should all start a class action lawsuits against these pill makers espically those of you forced to take it as a child it's a crime!

I understand how u feel but it's never going to get easier. I have a house two kids plus 2 other step kids living with me a business private schools to pay for etc. I have sat on my ass more days in the last 10 months then I had the last ten years. I desperately feel I'm letting myself down and 4 other people living under a roof I pay for by myself. The idea of giving in going the route u describe happens a lot but I've gone this far and made it somehow I can't give up now! If you give in now once your out of school don't think it will be easier it won't at all and u know deep down 20mg won't do crap but make u want more. U can't live your entire life on it so don't and u know that.

[sobrietysucks]

I'm back on the shit. I will never get better without it. I was always u motivated before adderall

[duffman]

I'm back on the shit. I will never get better without it. I was always u motivated before adderall

 

What exactly is the alternative though? Hopping back on Adderall is not a viable long-term option and you know this. Even if you do manage to take a "safe" and "reasonable" dose consistently, you will still have to deal with every drug user's worst enemy: tolerance. Any happiness you do manage to extract from taking Adderall again will gradually slip away and misery will take it's place. 

[Doge]

 

 

Any happiness you do manage to extract from taking Adderall again will gradually slip away and misery will take it's place. 

And if you are anything like me, it already has.  If you've already developed a binging addiction, taking one pill is nothing but torture.  So returning to responsible use is not an option anyway.

[Doge]

To clarify, I'm assuming by context that FKADDERALL and sobrietysucks are the same person.  If not, this may not make sense.

 

You can totally turn back now, shrug this off as a relatively harmless slip, and flush what you have.

 

Your 14 months sober are not thrown away.  You know deep down that you don't want to go back on the pills long term.  If you let this slip continue into a full blown relapse.  It will be agony again.  

[Frank B]

Well you tried and if you felt no progress 1 year 2 months guess you weren't going to get any better. Just curious how do u know if you never had motivation if u started at such a young age? I think you never got a chance to learn self motivation and I'd blame your parents for stealing that from you by making you get on this crap. Take note parents on here thinking about giving your children this shit you fuck them up for life!

[survived]

It wasn't until year 2 that I finally feel that I'm able to study again, and its only taken this long because I'm also recovering from benzo's. Don't quit just yet!

 

You may start out at 20mgs but soon enough your body is going to need more and you're going to have to take more. Not only that, being on adderall period, is bad for you. Doesn't matter if its 5mgs or 30. Either way its a bad chemical for your body and it will start taking its toll on it.

 

It also only takes 2 weeks to get addicted and then you will lose more years of your life. I hope you'll reconsider, you're really far out.

[survived]

What exactly is the alternative though? Hopping back on Adderall is not a viable long-term option and you know this. Even if you do manage to take a "safe" and "reasonable" dose consistently, you will still have to deal with every drug user's worst enemy: tolerance. Any happiness you do manage to extract from taking Adderall again will gradually slip away and misery will take it's place. 

 

Exactly, you're going to hit tolerance again anyway and it won't even work like it should.

[survived]

I'm back on the shit. I will never get better without it. I was always u motivated before adderall

[fkadderall]

We are not the same person. I'm still sober.. Do whatever the hell makes you happy. Don't purposely abuse this drug BC if u can't handle it like most users then it's not the drug's problem, it's your problem.

[fkadderall]

And no, I was motivated before I ever took adderall. This drug is just some fix for our attention problems. It doesn't make you happy nor does it enhance emotions. Wanna be happy? Don't take prozac or zoloft or some pharmacy shit. Don't 3v3n drink and don't get stoned

[Doge]

glad to hear that you are still sober!!  dont look back now!

[paydensaxton123]

Hello there soon to be not Adderall users!  Lets get a few things straight.  First, I don't know every little thing there is to know about Adderall, however, I do know this, I freaking hate it, it ruins lives, minds, marriages, along with anything and everything it comes in contact with.  And second, If your someone who thinks that it's actually a good thing and that it really helps people ha, well, for one, I'm sorry and two, just stop reading this right now because you wont agree with me anyway, and I wouldn't want to waste your time.  What I would do though, is refer to a book titled You Are The Placebo by Doctor Joe Dispenza, and find out just how powerful you really are!  You might just discover the true and unlimited power you were blessed with, and guess what the best part is, it lies right between your ears!  Even for those who choose to continue to read, you really need to check out that book because its freaking amazing,  it changed my mind, and better yet my life.  Second, don't deny the problem at hand.  It's ok to have problems, it's ok to struggle, however, whats not ok, is lying to yourself.  It's something we all do and it's so stinking bad.  If you have an addiction, but you really say you don't, your really tricking your mind and only making it that much harder for yourself to ever tell the difference between whats real and whats not.  I know this, I did it for 4 years straight, with multiple addictions.  We can not continue to deceive ourselves if we want to change.  People are not stupid, they know you are struggling.  If your never hungry and have blood shot eyes 24/7, chances are your on something, and its not natural.   

 

In The Beginning - "I Have Never Felt Better... Not!"

 

I remember my first time taking Adderall.  It was like I just experienced what is was like to feel unstoppable.  I thought to myself  "I will never give this stuff up".  I was hooked!  It started out with just 5mg.  This felt like more than enough, however, just a few short months and I was already at 60mg per day.  Not only was I taking 60mg per day, I was also following that up with 2 or 3 energy drinks and a couple sodas.  It didn't matter what it was, my body craved those stimulants, and I was showing no signs of stopping.  It only took that few months before I really started noticing some really crazy side effects.  At first the doctor said that they it was normal, but after I realized what was really happening, I started to take things into my own hands again.  That amazing feeling I thought would never end, not only did it end, it turned into a massive decline.  I was no longer myself, I hated being social, I hated working out, I hated being around my wife, and I even hated eating, who hates eating??? haha  That whole thought that you actually feel good on Adderall is such a lie.  Everything about these pills is a lie.  Who you are when you are on them is a lie, and who you become after you take them for awhile is for sure a lie.  If being depressed and having the worst case of permanent Brain Fog sounds good to you then just keep doing what your doing.  However, if becoming more brilliant, more focused, and more dedicated than ever before sounds better, lets dump those things out and join the movement getting and staying clean! 

 

Adderall Side Effects - Short & Long Term

 

Diarrhea 

Constipation 

Depression

Brain Fog

Hair loss

Insomnia 

Overdose 

Irritable - Mood Swings

After long use, it turns you Antisocial  

Suicidal thoughts 

feelings of Hatred towards others

Dry cracking Nails

Restless Leg Syndrome

Neck Pain

Isolated

Permanent  Nerve Damage 

Loss of Memory

Uncontrollable Twitching

Increased Heart Rate and Heart Failure

Shortness of Breath 

 

How to Know When to Quit

​The "I'll Quit when"... Excuse List

 

If you made it this far, then that is one of many reasons you know you are ready to quit.  The honest answer is, if your taking Adderall, then you are ready, because I believe that no one should be taking this horrible drug.  NO ONE! 

 

​If you notice yourself thinking these things, you are also ready -

 

- After I finish this project I will have time to quit.

- After I finish this prescription I will get the next one and start weening off.

- The doctor wouldn't give it to me unless I needed it anyway.

- What’s the big deal its making me more focused anyway.

- I will only use it on the days i need to work hard.

- I will only take half the dosage, that way I don't rely on it that much - taking it everyday is still relying on it haha our minds are funny, justification mode!

- If I quit now what are people going to say about how I am. 

Who cares what people think, if your not happy and not yourself, shouldn't the only thing you care about right now be finding your true self and being happy, that way you can help others be happy.  The excuses go on and on.  We need to stop the justification and the excuses before we can stop the drugs, its important to remember that!

                                                           

                                                            Adderall is a Personalty Changer 

                                                         â€‹(WARNING - YOU WONT LIKE YOU) 

 

The Power of Meditation & The Benefits it has when quitting Adderall.

 

Mediation is the true medication - in order to not only speed of the recovery process, but to also take yourself to new heights. Meditation has been one of the best skills I have learned through my recovery process, thats right I said skill, it takes time.  Looking back and envisioning the person that you yearn to become again is key to having success.  Mediation its self is not something that you can master overnight, just like anything that is good, it takes time. However, when the form of meditation is looking back on the person you once were and still are, it makes the process much easier.  To start I would take 15-20 min in the morning, and 15-20 min before bed.  Go to a quiet place and lay with your eyes closed and picture what it is that you did prior to taking adderall, how did you motivate your self, what drove you, what did you do that made you happy that your currently tricked into thinking that you don't enjoy. How did you live, think about what you miss about yourself. I have come to find that mediation is now one of my favorite things to do.  Its great for recovery, but its even better as a new daily habit. Im now not focusing on who I once was, but I'm focusing on who I now am and who I'm going to continue to become. 

How to Quit Adderall - How & Why I did it.

 

Declaration to the Reader

 

You are about to embark on the most amazing and courageous hardship of your life.  You will feel the most amazing and the most miserable that you have felt it along time, however, it will be more than worth it! Keep reading:)

 

The Hardest Best Decision of Your Life

 

Just quit already, think about it, is it worth putting off becoming the best version of yourself for one more day? HECK NO IT’S NOT! Change your perspective!  Don't look at it like quitting or giving something up, look at it for what it is, being one step closer to being free, and becoming the person you were actually meant to be.  You're going to be one step closer to not only making the biggest difference in your life, but also helping someone else make the biggest difference in there life as well, and thats where true joy and inner peace come from, making a difference!

 

Tapper Off or Quit Cold Turkey

 

​I remember always opening that bottle and just starring at them as they were talking to me in my head, just take me, they said.  This happened more than 5x's as I have tried to quit.  I always thought of putting them in a different place to try and tapper off.  But even just having them was the problem, so having them in a different place for sure wouldn't work because I would end up talking myself into taking them anyway.  Or, I would spend all my mental energy on convincing myself not to take them.  Which still lead me to wasting energy on the stupid pills.  Where as if I just got rid of them to begin with, I would have all the mental energy need to recover faster and get back to being who I was meant to be. 

 

​There are many ways to quit things in life, however, in terms of addiction, I believe it can & should be done in one way, and one way only, and thats quitting Cold Turkey.  This is not easy.  Anything considered an addiction is not going to be easy to overcome.  You need to have a strong support system and have your goals written down so you know what to expect.  Write yourself a letter, so during the hard times you can read it and remember why you are doing this.  Write, text, or call me, thats why I'm here.  If you can't find or remember your purpose, I will be your purpose for you!  Purpose is everything!  Without purpose, there is no purpose, its that simple.  Make a list of who you were before you took Adderall, followed by a list of how you are now.  Just things like, what you used to do for fun, and your favorite foods, the things you miss about your old self that you wish were still around.  There are thousands of things to do, and the first is to stop taking the pills!  You can do this, if I did it anyone can do it, and I mean it!   Stay strong, and I love you guys, I'm here for you, lets bring change to the world!  more stories at http://www.acinomunited.com/blog thanks for the support hope this helps:)

 

[paydensaxton123]

Keep going strong and things will workout in your favor!