Motivation_Follows_Action

Speaking of which, this came out today... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/06/horrors-of-methamphetamin-rehabscom-photos_n_2240401.html

Please do!!

I was thinking about this today and wanted to share... especially for anyone who's not quite decided to give up yet.. maybe someone caught in the web of adderall deception and thinks "one day" they'll be able to stop the insanity and conquer Life... In my life, I have been really privileged to hear from some of the world's greatest leaders... from Jack Welsh to Mayor Bloomberg to Colonel Majors in the Royal Airforce to that woman who sailed around the world by herself, etc etc. One of them (you can guess) said once to our group, in kind of a throwaway way, that the thing that drives him every day is to think about the legacy created by his actions. He said he can't be responsible for making people happy, but he can be responsible for knowing what it is that gives him the greatest happiness, and guess what... it's not about shopping or power or status. It's about a legacy of giving... having impact in the world. Each day, we are each creating our legacy. The people we come in contact with will remember us. They will remember their connection with us, the intuitive sense they had about us as people (trustworthy, honest, smart, funny or whatever), the impact we had on their lives. They won't remember how brilliant that powerpoint or excel spreadsheet was; they won't care how perfectly worded that email was. What they will remember is whether they felt listened to, remembered, cared about. When I was in the final days on adderall, I didn't realize how much I was just not connecting with people in any sense of the word. I could have walked away from a conversation and not recalled three things someone had said, and honestly, I could have cared less. I had other, more important things to do (what, exactly, I can also not recall). Either that or I'd spend the entire conversation wondering what the other person thought of me. Regardless, every conversation was always about me. All about me. I think I'd like my legacy to be not about me. And the only way that's going to happen is to stay off the adderall, and stop thinking about myself, shopping, being the smartest/wittiest/most perfect person in the room. I'd like to get to know people, and hear their stories. And maybe along the line to help someone. Can I achieve that on adderall? No way.

Hey Kyle, Thanks for your story; what a Herculean accomplishment for you to recover from such a debilitating state, through school and all the pressure you already felt, to beginning to feel human and yourself again. I couldn't agree more with quit-once; you are a BETTER person because of it... because you realized you are a talented, smart guy anyway, and that's the way you want to be. Without adderall.

Well I realized the answer... it's called Go. To. The. Gym. Duh, I know many of you do this as a ritual, but it's a newfound thing for me. I bought a heart rate monitor and chest strap and it's awesome to know the "science" behind feeling out of breath for an hour

Hey Britt, How is it going? I have found this forum to be quite literally a life saver. Hope you're ok and closer to making the first and hardest step to live life on your own without the chemicals. I think we're all in place to say it's a much more rewarding experience... Here to help... and commiserate...

"Tomorrow I am going to tell him to just hold on to it. Perhaps knowing it's there will satisfy my addiction enough." I think this is a phase we all go through when quitting. I know when I quit, my husband asked me to give all my pills to him and he would dispose of them; but instead, I insisted on keeping the big yellow container (yeah, I was on so much even the pill bottle was one of the large ones at the pharmacy) on the middle of the coffee table. That was until a fit of uncontrollable rage one day when, tired of being accused of being lazy, I threw the bottle against the floor like a five year old and it smashed. Time to put it away then, I thought I have read that part of getting over addiction is just knowing you still have a physical connection somehow to the drug, that psychologically need to know you can access it at any time, "just in case". So I totally get why you'd ask your brother to hold it. But just remember, it's not really fair to him when the addict in you comes screaming at him to give it back. If you can't throw it all away right now, maybe just tell your brother where you are keeping it; keep it in plain sight like the bathroom cabinet; and make a decision to tell him how many pills you have taken each day (he can count them if he wants, but just telling him should keep you honest). And don't make your own little private stash in an Altoids tin!! You can do it!

http://www.pillsanonymous.org/find-a-meeting-html/

Hi guys, Just to let you know I changed my name on the forum here. ... So... I read the quote, "motivation follows action" the other day and it sounded so apt: when you're on adderall you take a pill and then all of a sudden you're motivated to do stuff, to perform, to be the thing you THINK you want to be. Then when the addction really kicks in and you take too much, you realize you've become the very opposite of that.... you're a walking loser, having lost your personality, your soul, your sense of individualism. When you come off adderall, you have to start doing stuff without being motivated at all. Like a normal person. You have to do shit you don't want to do. You have to take time to do things carefully, and you actually care about the outcome in a way that's REAL (not the adderall-inspired paranoid "but what if I fail" reality which is a terrifying place to be), and you are able to prioritize better because you have your mind focused on what's right because you CHOOSE what your mind focuses on, as opposed to adderall chosing for you. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense but it's one of the big lessons of recovery... that an object in motion stays in motion. So get up offa that thang, because you'll feel better if and when you do. So, here I am. Day 45. A new me... or at least a more realistic me. Just wanted to post you.