Motivation_Follows_Action

I found this really helpful - no it's not neuroscience, it's more psychology, but it's v practical... 1. Practice intentional thinking. What you think about is ultimately what you become. What we once called “the power of positive thinking” is increasingly backed by scientific evidence. The more attention your brain pays to given input, the stronger and more elaborately it will be wired and retained in the brain. When we give our attention and focus to good things, like peace, joy, and self-control, our brains rewire themselves in a way that allows us to experience those good things. Wouldn’t it make sense, then, to be intentional about what we give ourselves to? 2. Pursue alternate passions. The famous philosopher, novelist, and poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was right when he said we are shaped and fashioned by what we love. Certainly this applies to our brains. The life focus of a person struggling with addiction leads to tunnel vision. Pursuing alternative passions expands your horizons and rewires your brain at the same time. 3. Employ the power of repetition. Studies show that repeated behaviors, over time, cause structural changes in the brain. These changes can be negative, causing compulsion and addiction. Or they can be positive. Repetition helps lock behaviors in the brain in the same way an athlete develops muscle memory. Be encouraged. Your struggle with addiction is a learned response, in many ways, just like the athlete. Your brain can unlearn, and it can change.

I agree with you Cassie from a previous post it would be nice to have a flip book to reflect on and see what is happening regarding our brain's recovery to "normal". One thing I have been wondering is how to find the balance between "going easy" - acknowledging that I'm in recovery and pretty fucking depressed - and working super hard on driving to be a better person, fixing areas of my thinking and life that weren't great during my addiction. The video recommends the "reboot and restore" approach, which makes a lot of sense. It requires a tremendous amount of energy though and disclipline which is fucking HARD when you have zero motivation.

Kyle, I have been taking wellbutrin for years. But the last few weeks/months I really didn't feel like it was doing very much. That's when I did my research and found out about the FDA recall... which only applied to 300XR generic. I pick up my new prescription today, so we will see. Cassie, thanks and sounds like if I end up taking Lamictal I won't have the energy to take you, shortie!

It's an interesting proposition. I'm not a neurologist (or anywhere near it) but I think you may be conflating something - others please chime in. The reason you don't want to do paperwork is not because the neural superhighway you'd created by doing paperwork on ritalin for years has all of a sudden become a big dense forrest, crowded over because you're not using that part of your brain any more; but that there is a significant lack of dopamine, therefore causing depression, and lack of motivation. I do agree with you in the "creating a new neural superhighway" concept... that's what plasticity is all about. And the more you work on independently creating neural pathways the stronger they will be. But the attempt at correlating dopamine depletion and neuroplasticity I'm just not so sure about. Back to V.S. Ramachandran I go!

I have a really good doc now. I spent time with her today and here's what she said... just passing it along... 1) Wellbutrin: as mentioned before, the FDA recalled 300MG XR a little while back because it didn't work. This was the generic form of the drug. If you get 300MG XR prescribed to you now, either take the brand name or do 150 SR twice a day. Maybe for me that has something to do with my lingering depression... we shall see... 2) Ambien: so here's an interesting fact. I asked my doc about the memory loss thing and she said, yep, it's probably the ambien. Then she went on to say she doesn't prescribe it unless absolutely necessary and she personally thinks it's tied to depression. She has a very busy practice, most of her patients are only with her for 6 months or so because they get better. She noticed a few of her depressed patients were not, so she did an analysis of those who had treatment resistent depression and their meds, and sure enough, ALL of them were on Ambien. Hmm.. 3) She asked me to look in to Lamictal, which is a bipolar med which is also used off label to treat depression and boarderline personality. I really would rather not take other drugs if I don't have to but I am wondering if anyone here knows anything about it? Just before you jump all over me, Cassie, remember I'm a bit scared of you...

Rachel Dratch is so brilliant - she's just published a book btw! It's hilarious - if you feel like a giggle... http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Walks-into-Bar-Calamities/dp/1592407110

Falcon you're fucking hilarious, man. I'd like to make it known that neversaynever, you, my dear lass, are a little delirious. Your BMI is 20.7. Do you know how many women across this country would kill to be that thin? STOP worrying about it, enjoy your newfound "curves" (not that you can hardly call them that) and honestly, at 39, you probably should be looking to stay a healthy weight not starve yourself like a 17 year old. Learn to love the body that got you through all this abuse. I've put on a bunch of weight too, but I'm trying to go on this: I've given myself 3 months to not check the scale, try to eat healthy, and appreciate my body the way it is. I might not look like a supermodel (always my benchmark because I'm tall, so thanks to the internets I know the EXACT weight of hollywood actresses who are my height), but instead I'll try to focus on what's inside, and making my body stronger. I have good and bad days (today wasn't good) but tomorrow will be better. Also, InRecovery, I'm not sure I would recommend your site to people who struggle with body issues, especially those who actually have a healthy BMI like neversaynever... might encourage wrong goals.... just saying, and as always, said with a smile. Wow, I've been hard on you these last couple of days, huh?! I promise I'm not taking PAWS out on you...

Great update Cassie. And Ashley, for your ever-consistent encouragement. I hope you haven't looked past this... no one can take away from you the fact that you've gone through 9 months adderall free... that's a proud moment I for one really look forward to.

My uncle is addicted to Oxycontin... I ran in to him at the grocery store one holiday and he was totally out of it, his gums were bleeding and his wife was with him and she looked so resigned to it all... it was like she refused to notice. It made me so sad. Addiction hurts everyone, regardless of the drug.

I have this cool app on my computer called "rescue time" which websites you track and how long you spend on "productive" vs "non productive" sites. It counts facebook and reddit etc as "unproductive", but this one as productive... (mostly because I categorized it that way), so... ... QA is MUCH better than facebook in my opinion!

Neversaynever, you just left me with goosebumps. I imagine that your appreciation of the beautiful day outside, and your heartelt expression of it would have all been lost in the adderall fog of "who the fuck cares I have shit to do" a few weeks ago. Kyle, what a great idea. I have had my eye on a beautiful onyx lotus flower & tree of life necklace for a year or so now, maybe I will give it to myself as a present if I graduate 90 days. Although I am not a yoga person, the symbols of the tree of life, lotus flower and onyx are all reminders to me of what it means to get through life without the burden of addiction... to make the right choice, no matter how scary it seems at the time. Today's a tough one, kiddos... had a rough time at the therapist this morning... I don't know why I always end up in tears when I'm there but something about describing the place I'm in just reminds me of how I'm still in the early(ish) days of recovery, and still really under the burden of depression. One of those icky PAWS downside days for me. I hope to get enough energy for this phone interview I have in half an hour...

Yeah, we're addictive too... but unlike adderall we won't ruin your life...

... speaking of profile photos I must add what a delight it's been to see everyone updating their pics! so much so I was feeling bad I didn't have one up there. I hope you'll forgive the lack of face pic from me, I'm terrified of google image search and I'll be haunted forever on this internets thing so you'll have to put up with a lovely picture of me doing my favorite passtime... taking a nap! Sleep is when the brain restores itself. It's nice to be restoring my brain, I need it as I plan to have it around for a lot longer...

yep, agree entirely. My mantra for this year? Take each day as it comes and forget about the next. Also, in unison we sing... fuck off, 2012. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

... and hardly ever by doctors!

Steve, you are right. Read the book that InRecovery recommends, "On Speed". It's fantastic. And also, although this relates to porn addiction, the series is really a useful explanation of addiction and dopamine. There are 6 videos, if you have time, watch them all. Such a useful series.

Steve, how are you doing? You're a brave man. Cold turkey after 180mg... that's A LOT OF ADDERALL. I was taking 90-100mg a day (like you, a mix of delayed and immediate release - actually InRecovery it's quite common that doctors prescribe it this way, they give you 20mg XR and 10 IR to "get you through" when the XR wears off... that's how it all started with me...), and I ended up in amphetamine psychosis. Apart from the fact that your doctor agreed you should come off it or taper down, what are the reasons, YOU, Steve, want to quit? Why now?

Hi Krax, welcome to the forum. As you can see, my username is kind of apt to your description. Something that struck home with me when I was first going through withdrawal was how the motivation cycle is reversed when you're on adderall.. all you had to do was pop a pill and the chores, emails, taxes, budgets etc etc would follow. But talk about law of diminishing returns, especially when your "prioritization gene" falls out of whack and you end up spending HOURS doing weird shit that no one cares about. Anyhow, it's good you're on the road to recovery. We have all agreed here that use any means necessary to get through your day, as long as it's not amphetamines or stimulants. For me, the magic combo is 5 hour energy + L Tyrosene + b6. (but be careful with that stuff if you take too much it can give you "funny tummy" as we say). I think Wellbutrin is fantastic for depression (see other posts) but there are some here who think it's better to be free of prescription anything... to each his own really. Anyway, one question... how far along are you in to recovery? Are you feeling like you're gonna make it through? Why now and what brought you to this place? Like Ashley said, we're stimulant-agnostic here... come one speed addict come all....

Goodness what an informative thread, and all from hearing about InRecovery's flu! InRecovery, how are you feeling now? I think I had the same thing as you... I thought it was a stomach ulcer because I just couldn't stop throwing up. In fact I posted about it here, wondering if adderall had totally fucked up my intestinal tract. Thankfully (believe it or not), it was "just" the flu. But I read in the NY Times that there is a big flu epidemic in the northeast so maybe you and I were a couple of the unlucky ones. Hope you're feeling better now. And get off the percocet dude. I gulped when I read that. Addictive personalities and addictive drugs... not a good combo. Thankfully vicodin and percocet make me sick as a dog, so I don't have to worry too much... but please confirm for us that you're not still taking it. You know how much this forum relies on you, don't you????!! sky... that's quite a story. The things we learn about each other, tucked away in little corners here and there. There's a metaphor for life if I'm not getting too grandiose about it. We learn a lot about each other by digging a little bit, taking time, and accepting always. But do get better, InRecovery. Hope you're not in too much pain!

Hey Falcon, You sure know how to tell a story. I have a strong vision of you in my head, albeit 2 pictures strong :-), but in a dark and musty bar, you talking with an old guy, sharing stories and connecting. That's what life is all about isn't it? Regardless of how old you are? I hear you about mourning the loss of all kinds of stuff. And we have days where it's a lot easier to let the gremlins talk to us than others. Who knows what causes it, but some days it's like someone put a cloud in the sky right above our heads just to follow us around all day. It occurred to me you might suffer from a bit of Seasonal Affected Disorder? Those who do usually find the winter especially hard to cope with, and funnily enough there is a strong correlation between lack of daylight hours, cold, and drinking (hello Russia + Vodka!). I have heard that light therapy helps. Really, Falcon, try not to look back. The future is what matters now.

Ashley, it's weird how much I consider you a friend. CONGRATULATIONS on your 9 months. All this time, when you post on this board it is done with a spirit of humility, a hunger for wisdom and an appreciation for others' inputs. All this time, while you've been growing and strengthening your resolve. You're a fine young woman, Ashely. And I can say that, because I'm a fine old(er) one Here's to your brain!

Not only do you have a fantastic attitude, blesbro but you write really well. Good luck in the coming days and weeks... remember to look back on that post above and remember why you gave up, and that it IS in fact all for better.

My dear friend Falcon, I'm sorry you were hurt by my comments! I honestly was grateful for your recommendation to us all about the usefulness of breathing... and was attempting to add on to it with my suggestion to neversaynever! One thing I adore about this site and community is the respect we all have for each other and I would never, ever use sarcasm here, unless it was to make a joke against myself. I wonder if you're suffering a little bit of paranoia, Falcon? I felt like you on and off during the recovery, not knowing how to interpret people's comments, stewing over them, etc. Adderall withdrawal + PAWS + depression + insecurity can make your brain end up in one big fog where the nicest of intentions can be misconstrued. Please know that I have nothing but respect for you Falcon. I'd never ever say anything to hurt you. You're my QA friend!

My friend who is also an executive coach posted these on his site. Take some time today to reflect... Find some quiet time to reflect and make a few notes to answer the following three questions: 1. If this time next year you look back on 2013 and it's a fantastic year, how will things be different than they are today? 2. What lessons -- either things you’re proud of or things you’d like to change -- from 2012 would you definitely like to apply to 2013? 3. Make your most important or thematic overall intention for 2013 into a headline -- what will that be? Once you have your notes, make it a practice to reread them once a month throughout the year, and reset your direction accordingly. And have some fun with it. All the best for a challenging but rewarding new year.

Yay Falcon, I'm with you there! I sense, neversaynever that you're not a zen buddhist hippy type, so I will say this with caution. The breathing thing really does work. One of my friends taught me an awesome thing to say when it all just seems too much. Stop, put your hands by your side, wherever you are. And say this: "breathe in peace, breathe out release". then again. then again. 3 times. that's all. Try it now... see, doesn't it help?