resetBrain

Different things work for different people...That said, the more I try to avoid or fight negative emotions...especially something as tough as a relationship breakup...the worse. I kind of try to acknowledge and stare the emotion in the face so to speak. I seem to get over it faster. Or at least not be as afraid of it...

Yeah, have been seeing a good psychologist for a couple years. However, she's going through a major medical issue of her own and had to cut back her schedule, so it's been about 6 weeks since I've been able to see her and I won't see her again until two weeks from now and who knows after that. I know *should* ask her if she can recommend someone to see while she is unavailable. Still I cringe at the whole idea of that because I've definitely seen some therapists over the years who either "aren't a good fit" or are just a useless waste of money and leave time.

Anxiety is kicking my butt this last week or so. I don't know how much of it is post-Adderall (nine months off of Adderall / 3 months off of Provigil, etc.) or how much of it is just "how I am." I can't identify any external causes of the anxiety. A lot of it, as I try to remind myself, is just physical sensations...like my fight or flight reactions getting turned on for no reason...knotted stomach, numb arms and hands, crying (even wailing if I'm alone). I get so frozen. I've been somewhat keeping it in check by walking a couple miles every day. And telling myself it's not real. But this weekend it wasn't in check. Right now it isn't in check. Saturday walking a couple miles didn't kill it. Yesterday, I'd ended up taking 2 MG of Klonpin (1/2 MG at a time) to knock the anxiety out, but of course that knocked me out too. I did almost nothing but lay in bed and sleep and read a novel. Today, I'm at work, it's about 11 a.m. for me, I've already taken 1 MG of Klonpin, but I'm still jacked up with knotted stomach and numb arms and crying because I'm so frustrated. I'm trying not to judge myself, I'm trying not to judge the situation but I'm so frustrated. Like yesterday, the sun was shining, it was the weekend...I should've been out riding bikes or hiking or doing something with my kid. I hate taking Klonopin, but I don't know what else would get me through right now... Somebody remind me that this will get better, because at the moment I just can't see it.

Sagekat, your post grabs me because....Single mom? Check. Kid with ADHD diagnois? Check. Adderall "off label" for depression? Check. Have felt like a horrible parent? Check. And yeah, this is hell. But you CAN do this. As for diagnoses, I think you're on the right track with "no one knows but me." Stimulants can definitely make you present with bipolar-like symptoms. Up. Down. Uncontrollable crying. It's kind of like you have to step away from the Adderall and the Vyvanse for months to see what you're left with. And it can be really hard to find a doctor, psychiatrist, whatever, to even acknowledge that Adderall can contribute to and/or cause significant mood problems. Do you really have to pretend that everything is okay? I mean yeah, you gotta do that for work. Yeah, you don't want to tell people you took your son's meds. But you had your own Adderall script, right? What about your best friend? Can you let him or her know what you're going through? I mean just don't make yourself be more 'alone' than you have to be.

Hi, Courtneycarp. What are some examples of skills that you are afraid you might lose? How/why did you start taking Adderall? What is your life situation/age? I mean are you a young student or middle-aged like me or something in between? What made you want to stop taking stimulant meds? Did you have any issues with depression or anxiety before you ever took stimulant meds? Like IR said in an earlier reply, you will not lose specific skills like how to use Excel or how to knit a sweater or how to change change transmission fluid. You also won't lose more abstract skills like how to study or how to talk to people or how to stay organized, but those can take time to fall back in to place while your brain is readjusting.

Sebastian, I wish I had great words of wisdom for you, but right now just have some commiseration...I too miss those feelings of being happy and productive on adderall....The enthusiam, the being interested in things. I try to remind myself, though, that it WASN'T real, and that it wasn't sustainable. And those things were only at first. Three years later, there was a reason I wanted to quit this drug. I was crying every day. The 'up' would always eventually end with a crash. And, after quitting, the months of flattness and deep depression and/or anxiety were very real, just like tons of other people's posts here describe. Now, for me, the depression isn't so bad, the anxiety isn't so bad. But the flattness, the boredom, the ennui, the ahedonia...yeah still dealing with that. Everything is very slow. A doctor told me that while it takes days for a cut to heal and weeks for a broken bone to heal, it can take year for a brain to heal. I just keep trying to focus on that.

Anybody else having 'holiday temptation?' For Adderall or anything else? Help.