Cat

Last week I did 6.5 miles of running and an 8 mile hike. It's supposed to rain all week and I don't have a gym membership so I'm kinda wondering... is it better to suck it up and run in the rain or suck it up and get a gym membership? LilTex - how did the half ironman go? InRecovery - yikes. That would be hard to be in that situation with access to adderall so close, especially knowing that many classmates are using it. But I bet you will also be able to see more clearly than ever the problems that adderall causes for your classmates, for their health, quality of work, and balance, and it will probably reinforce your resolve.

Congrats on five months! A snowstorm + Stumptown coffee sounds so cozy... I'm jealous.

Same. Used to do the NYT crossword every single morning. Now, hardly ever.

Good to hear! Nice words from your coworkers. Hold onto those.

Well, I'm at 6.5 so far this week. Don't think I'll make it to 12 because of weekend plans, but my weekend will involve a LOT of challenging hiking. How's everyone else doing?

Hey Sebastian. I am almost at 10 months too, as of Nov 5. In general, I'd say my mood is just more balanced. With adderall it was all high highs and low lows, every day like clockwork: I'd take the pill in the morning and feel a surge of energy/excitement about the day ahead. Then as it started to wear off I'd feel worse, then crash and feel more depressed than ever. Can't say I miss the daily ups and downs. Now my excitement is more tied to specific things that I like and look forward to, such as weekend trips and cooking dinner. Running during the day helps with my mood. I basically am never excited about work anymore, and I miss that. I too have thought about trying Wellbutrin, but haven't for two reasons. First, I want to avoid any and all meds if possible, and second, ever since cutting off my doctor 10 months ago the idea of finding and meeting with a whole new doctor has seemed like such a hassle. So I haven't. Occasional, are you a year now or ten months? Who else is in the ten month club?

My relationship is a lot better now that I'm off adderall. Adderall made me averse to being touched or feeling emotions. I looked forward to the days and nights my boyfriend had other plans because I would have the house to myself to hyperfocus on projects and then drink a bottle of wine at night. I was also constantly starting arguments and getting in fights over dumb stuff, like I would spend all day cleaning (by choice, because adderall made me a clean freak) and then get mad at my BF when he got home because he didn't pitch in on the cleaning. Even though I knew it was stupid, I couldn't control my angry outbursts on adderall. Pretty much everything about our relationship is 10x better since I quit, except for the house being a little messier

Hi all, I only got in 9 miles last week. Today starts a brand new week and I'm gonna do 12!

Hey for those of you who are exercising, consider joining the 12 miles a week running club! It's over in the off topic section. Also Lunax - just wanted to say that's awesome you are staying quit until your wedding. I just got married last month and was SO incredibly happy to not be on adderall on my day. I quit back in January and got engaged in March so planned the whole thing in six months without adderall. If you need any support during the wedding planning feel free to get in touch

Run/exercise - you should totally join the 12 miles a week club Read books/articles Binge watch TV shows Hang out with friends Cook meals Run errands. On adderall I never wanted to interrupt a project or leave the house. Now I use free time to run errands and get shit done.

Good to see you back. I was wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry to hear about your relapse, but hopeful that your post means you're ready to quit again. I have to thank you for this timely post. Nearly ten months after quitting, the temptation to relapse is still there - but reading your post reminded me of all the reasons NOT to. Loss for words - check. Teeth feeling like they were going to fall out - check. Antisocial - check. No reading for pleasure - check. Oh the joy of reading for pleasure again! We believe in you. You can do this!

Hi swervecity, it sounds like you already know deep down what you have to do. Quit all stimulants. I was on Adderall for two years and Vyvanse for two years. At first I was drawn to Vyvanse for the same reasons - smoother, lasts all day, crash wasn't as bad. But like Cassie my addiction got worse on Vyvanse as it became a daily, entrenched, reinforced habit - couldn't go a single day without taking one. When I finally quit I couldn't focus at all. However I was able to hold onto my job. Ten months later I'd say I'm getting as much or more done as pre-quit, the hardest part is doing it without the surge and thrill of amphetamine every morning. So making it through school while quitting isn't an impossibility, but it will be a lot easier if you can drop a class or two. You've obviously dealt with some struggles in your life and have overcome other addictions. You've got this. Good luck!

Hey everyone! You're all doing fantastic! Happy to read all your updates and see the club is going strong. It's been a while since my last check in. I got married and then went on a honeymoon out of the country. Needless to say, I didn't have much time to get runs in this past month. But here's my update: I just signed up for a half marathon next May! Super excited. For the past several months the wedding was my main motivation for running, and it would have been easy to just quit now that it's over. So I'm proud of myself for setting this new goal. Plus, best part - it's something I'd NEVER consider doing if I were still on adderall. So, training starts... tomorrow I guess?

Way to go Ashley! Um, that doesn't sound slow to me. It's like just over 10 minutes miles, which I wouldn't call slow Especially if you are running 5.5 of them. Anyway, I've been bad at getting miles in too the past two weeks. Ran 4 on Tuesday. But I'm going to give myself a break because I'm getting married next Saturday and then leaving the country for 2 weeks which equals out to long hours at work (getting ready to be gone for that long) and plus getting ready for the big day. So... very little free time. But getting out for 4 miles the other day felt great. Hope to get a few more of those in over the next week. Go running club!

Monday-Sunday works for me! I am only at 5.5 miles this week. Going to try to get a few more in tomorrow. Good job everyone!

When does everyone's week start? Mine starts on Monday. This week, well, I played indoor soccer for an hour on Monday and I am SORE. It was a lot of running but not sure how to quantify it. The soreness is crazy, soccer involves different muscles than running bc of the start and stop. Anyway, I did run 2.5 miles today. Long way to go to get to 12 but here's to trying!

Hello PKR Your story has stuck with me over the past several days. I've been thinking a lot about it. On adderall, my highs were high and my lows were LOW. My highs typically came in the morning or early in the day (because I only took adderall in the morning) and were characterized by euphoria, excitement, love, etc. I can relate to the feeling of little ones jumping in bed, a cozy quaint town, a joyful vacation moment. The feeling of warmth and peace you describe, well I honestly don't think I ever felt that on adderall even in my most euphoric moments because there was always an underlying sharp edge of anxiety riding beneath the highs. And that is something I hold on to - the fact that when I believed I was happy, underneath the surface, I was not at all happy. Off adderall now for 8 months, and my pendulum swings more toward the middle for sure, but in a good way. I so appreciate the moments of love/warmth knowing there is no sharp cutting edge beneath it, being free of adderall anxiety. But I know what you mean about missing the euphoric feeling of it all. The roller coaster and lack of physical feeling your described - interesting! It really is like your pendulum is no longer swinging to its extremes even in the physical sense. Maybe a PTSD reaction. I haven't been on a roller coaster since quitting but I'm pretty sure my stomach would still drop

Also, when you decide you're ready to quit for real, it's imperative that you cut off your supply by severing ties with your doctor or telling him/her you don't want to be prescribed anymore.

I did 13 this week. This morning was the worst... barely made it two miles! Back at it Monday.

I drink coffee almost every day but don't feel anything beyond a mild pleasant caffeine buzz. I drink a cup or two in the morning and then none the rest of the day. On adderall I needed coffee in my hand first thing upon waking, while still in bed waiting for the pill to kick in. Now I can get up and start my day before I realize it's time to drink coffee, but then it's just really enjoyable to have a cup.

Hey Zerokewl, thanks for sharing. You know, had I not quit adderall, in a few years that could have been me. I was always so focused on my "super important" projects that I made crucial strategic mistakes, especially when it came to relationship building. For example, I resented my boss when he gave me the job of facilitating a leadership meeting every two weeks. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to show leadership and build partnerships (especially as the youngest senior person on senior staff) I was annoyed that it took time away from tweaking out on my computer projects. Now, off adderall, I value the ability to see the forest and not just the trees. Move forward. You'll find your place and guaranteed the path will be stronger and more sustainable without the adderall. Good that you're reflecting here rather than going back to adderall. Each day is a step forward.

Nice work Occasional, Greg, Rich and Ashley. So far I've stuck it out all summer without a gym membership, so running in the morning to avoid the heat or just going for it in the sun. But there's a small park nearby with a little shady trail around it, so running there and back plus a few loops around the trail isn't so bad. I am at 7 miles for the week with my major success so far being 4 miles yesterday without walking. Trying to go from a "3 miler" to a "4 miler" average run.

Yay, a new club member! Welcome to the club Rich! It's super fun. I had one of those runs this morning where it was really smooth sailing and I wished I had more time to keep going. Ran a little over three miles with part of it being on the beach, nothing like running the beach in the early morning. Hit my twelve miles for the week!

Considering we are all so honest about our adderall addictions and quits and sometimes relapses, lying about a couple miles of running here and there would be silly At six miles so far this week.

Agree with Krax on the happiness thing and hope what I said didn't come across as "eat a great meal and remember to be happy" or anything like that. At the same time, I do believe that we have some control over taking action toward leading a positive life. Being conscious about recognizing what in your life is a mood lifter and knowing what brings you down - then you know what direction to steer yourself in. You can also deal with the rough spots that come along, like LilTex, without crashing to the ground.