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Hey Sebastian, congrats on making it to 8 months soon. I am just a few days behind you, my 8 month mark will be September 5. A few thoughts. First of all, it seems from here you can only build your new self up stronger. A new job can make a world of difference. You spend the majority of your waking hours at work, so if your job brings you down, that's probably going to affect your whole life outlook. Even after work and on the weekends it'll stress you out. I know because my previous job was like that. I started a new job 3 days before quitting adderall for good in early January. I'm building my post-adderall self and forming new work habits while building confidence in the new job. It's a good situation and hopefully starting your new job will give you the space to build a positive outlook on life in general. In terms of happiness, first of all you can take pride in the fact that you have dropped an unsustainable habit and all the self-building you do from here on out will be yours to own 100%. That's pretty rad and should be a good thing to remember when you find yourself reminiscing about the adderall days. Second, the new job should help. Third, if a relationship might be the thing that makes you happier, you will be in a way better position to form a healthy relationship with someone if you aren't taking adderall. Fourth, vacations rule but like 1Bad88 said it's not like a magic happy pill that eliminates your stress and dread about going back to a shitty job. Happiness is complex. It's a combination of big things, like knowing you are making progress on long term goals and creating the kind of life you want for yourself, and being able to find pleasure in small things, like seeing friends or drinking a glass of wine at the end of the day or eating a delicious meal or getting a good workout in. That's my two cents at least. Just for the record, L Tyrosine doesn't really do anything for me either.

Congrats on two months and appreciate the update! Having read your updates from when you first started posting, I can tell you are making progress. Sounds like you are in the right mind space about your recovery, taking it day by day, not expecting any quick fixes but willing to put in work to get there. Good job on addressing the other pills. For me, quitting adderall was the major hurdle but quitting ambien really completed the picture. Anyway, glad you're here!

I only made it to 9 last week, but off to a good start this week with 3 miles today. Go team!

Hi all! Way to go Ashley, Occasional and InRecovery/Greg (always fun to find out someone's real name). You guys still continue to inspire me. I'm at a conference for work and have been getting in treadmill time in the mornings at the hotel. At 9 miles so far this week. I never run on treadmills except while traveling and staying in hotels. Normally I don't really push myself beyond my natural pace which is about a 10 minute mile, so it's been kinda cool upping the pace for intervals and pushing myself. However, in general I agree with the sentiment that my goals are not about speed, but about time or distance. If I set out to run 4 miles I don't care how long it takes, or if I just want to run for 30 minutes that's what I'll do regardless of how far I go.

So Xiosluna, this is close to my heart because I am getting married next month. I quit adderall in January of this year. I've gained some weight and I'm a little terrified that the XS dress I bought four months ago will be tight at my fitting in two weeks. I'm kinda sad my upper arms don't look as tiny as they did before. I'm planning to buy spanx even though my mom says that's unnecessary, it's just that my stomach sticks out more than it did before. IT IS ALL SO SO WORTH IT BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ON ADDERALL ON MY WEDDING DAY. First of all, you can absolutely maintain your weight with five months to go. Like Cassie said, you might gain a bit at first but you still have time to get back on track and start exercising. Secondly, don't you want to be present at your own wedding? Feeling grounded and happy and human? If you do this you should start now. In five months you'll feel just fine. But if you keep waiting around it gets dicey.... withdrawal is no joke.

Yep. This was me. I drank a ton when I first quit. I drank wine in bed and also some days would start drinking at noon. After a few weeks I was mostly just drinking a lot at night. I was definitely substituting it for the adderall. At one point about four months after quitting I had a moment of realization that what I was doing was really terrible and unhealthy and I got scared. I went online and started looking at alcoholism message boards and wondering if I was becoming an alcoholic. I felt depressed and down and I was really terrified about this turn my life had taken, though I never considered going back on adderall. Coincidentally about a week later I quit taking ambien, and it was like a switch flipped- my drinking went waaay down almost right away. Not only that but my depression lifted practically overnight. All of a sudden I felt clear headed, grounded, and a lot sharper than I had since quitting adderall. Evening would roll around and I didn't have the urge to drink! Now I still enjoy a glass of wine and I always will, that's just part of my lifestyle, but it's not every night and usually not more than 1 or 2 glasses. I am convinced that the ambien was playing a major role in my depression and my heavy drinking. It wouldn't surprise me if benzos have the same effect (on some people, obviously not everyone). Anyway it's worth looking at what other medications you are still taking. Also it sounds like for Occasional and me there was a turning point around 3-4 months so you might just need to give it time.

You all are totally inspiring! So glad I finally joined this club. Just ran 3.3 miles putting me at 12.3 for the week. Time to celebrate and drink a beer (Is that allowed in this club?) Happy Friday!

It's not Friday! It's only Thursday! Unless you are overseas? Good to hear the update. I am at 9 miles for the week so far. Today was a first - I ran 3 miles without walking at all. I've also biked about 12 miles and done my lifting routine... once.

Seven days is the first big hurdle, you made it!

Ashley - that's awesome. I am so impressed by people who can run that far all at once. I can only go like 30 minutes at a time. Maybe I will try your technique on the next run. Anyway, I ran 3 miles exactly today and then rode my bike to meet up with a friend, about 6 miles round trip.

Way to go InRecovery and Occasional! I am at 11 miles and planning to go out on a run this afternoon to make it to 12 -- or beyond.

Awesome! This makes me super excited to get to 9 months... at 7 months currently, it's so close!

You have to remember that most people aren't judging you by the harsh/high standards you have for yourself. It might seem like you are letting down your roommate/boyfriend/professor/the world by slacking off and not doing the dishes, but it's really not the case. My boyfriend who I live with never knew about adderall and still doesn't, even through my quitting. To me it was like black and white: the girl who could get by on 4-5 hours of sleep a night while working a high level job, keeping the house immaculate, and being social suddenly just crashed. Could barely get out of bed. Didn't do laundry or chores for weeks. You know what? He barely mentioned anything. I passed off the fatigue by saying I had insomnia (which was true) for about a week, and then gradually just started washing my own dish and putting it in the dishwasher and doing a chore here and there. I was okay with a less-than-sparkling kitchen and so was he. I showed up at my job and no one was the wiser. You'll hit bottom in a week or two. It's mostly uphill from there. Just remember that. There are bad days and good days, but eventually the good days outnumber the bad, and you know what? They are better than any day on adderall.

Thanks occasional and Ashley! Good point about the weekly goal being more achievable and flexible than the daily goal... I like that! So far so good, ran 2.75 miles this morning so I'm up to 8.25 for the week. Feeling motivated.

Hey! I'll join this club. It's cool to read about other people's runs and experiences. My goal is to run 30 minutes or more every weekday, but 12 miles/week also feels like a good goal. So far this week I'm at 5.5 miles. I have always found the evenings to be my favorite running time, but unfortunately it's hard to fit evening runs into my schedule because I often have after work plans. Trying to run in the morning or at lunch but it just seems harder and I get tired faster. Is it possible to acclimate your body to get used to running at a different time of day? Edit: I am also doing light lifting daily for about 20 minutes. Doing four different types of lifts with 20 reps x 3 sets, with 5 lb weights. I'm trying to get my arms a little more toned between now and September.

I had adderall dreams like crazy during the first few weeks of quitting but haven't had one since then until last night. In the dream a friend was offering me some adderall or another drug that was like "adderall lite." I decided to try the adderall lite and really liked it. In the dream I was justifying it to myself that I could get a prescription for the lite stuff and it would be totally fine because it wasn't actually adderall. But I also remember feeling really terrified that I was getting myself into another addiction that would be just as ruinous, and that by trying the lite stuff I'd destroyed all the progress I've made in the past 7 months. Anyway, woke up feeling relieved to still be free and clear of anything resembling adderall!

Echoing what occasional01 and quit once said. It sounds like you care about your long-term health, and adderall is not a healthy or sustainable way of staying thin. Are you already in the habit of exercising regularly and eating a healthy diet? If so, if you maintain that lifestyle after quitting I doubt you will gain much weight, if any.Tapering might be a good idea in that case if it allowed you to keep your regular schedule of activity. I wouldn't know because I quit cold turkey. In my experience after quitting cold turkey about 7 months ago, I gained a small amount of weight (maybe 10 lbs) in the immediate aftermath when I could barely get out of bed, let alone go for a workout. I have been working out sporadically over the past few months and probably lost 5 lbs. I am naturally thin but the remaining 5 lbs still bothers me so now I'm exercising more regularly - running 5x a week and light weights. I'm pretty confident that I'll get back to the same weight as when I took adderall, and in fact will look better because it will be muscle tone instead of fat-skinny, plus I will be creating a lifelong healthy habit of exercising. Wins all around. If you want to quit then stick around here, lots of support on this forum!

Hi Jon, At Day 31 you're still in recovery mode. Allow yourself to be lazy, sleep and slack off on normal responsibilities, and don't feel guilty about it. If you start feeling guilty, that's a step toward feeling like you need adderall again. Don't push yourself to be social or take on more obligations than you feel ready for. At the point you feel ready to be social again, doing activities and hanging out with friends is a great way to forget about adderall. Looking back, this turning point happened around month 2 for me. There will come a time when you HAVE to push yourself before you're ready. Maybe you made a promise to help a friend do something, like build a website or move into a new house, and you don't want to back out. Maybe it's picking up slack for someone at work who really needs it. When that time comes, bite the bullet and push yourself beyond your comfort level. Then when it's over, celebrate and take a well-deserved break again! You will have just increased your confidence that much more.

Also, the things I used to enjoy doing before adderall (and now, after adderall) were way less enjoyable on adderall. I didn't even really like being social. On adderall, a really good Saturday was one where my boyfriend left the house early to go do something, so I would have the whole day and house to myself to clean and tweak out on a weird project. Also, to start drinking early in the day as soon as I felt the crash coming on. If friends called wanting to hang out, I'd ignore their calls or make up excuses because I just wanted to be alone focusing on my projects. The only thing I enjoyed doing socially was going out drinking. OMG it makes me so sad to think about all those times.

Same here. In college, I would buy it from friends only when I needed to pull all nighters or to write a final paper. Then later when I got my own prescription I would just take it on "special" days when I had a lot to do. Eventually that became every weekday, then every single day. I needed it just to get out of bed, let alone function in any kind of public setting, whether it was work or hanging out with friends. Occasional01 and whoisthisguy, I did the same thing with social settings. At one point I was taking more than prescribed almost every day, but on days when I had an important meeting or dinner or interview I would carefully lower my dose to a level that seemed "just right" for being stimulated but not tweaking. UGH. Soo glad to be done with it!

Hi Jon, I too got addicted to Ambien while taking adderall. I quit adderall first and continued to take Ambien for another 3 months. That's because I tried to stop both at the same time and with the combo of insomnia plus withdrawal I literally could not function at all. However, finally quitting Ambien was truly the final and necessary release from meds that my body and soul were seeking. I'm now free of prescription medication and feel alive and healthy and happy for the first time in 5 years. As to breaking the habit of popping a pill at 6 am: that was hard for me too. Even though the physical withdrawals subside after about a week, it is hard to break your mind free of the habit of needing that energy kick first thing in the morning especially knowing you have a full day of work ahead of you. For me, what helped was taking supplements such as fish oil and L-Tyrosine first thing upon waking up, and sometimes even a 5 hour energy shot. Obviously all those things do not provide effects even close to what adderall does, but at least they satisfy the craving and the habit of popping a pill. I also have a "coffee station" right next to my bed with an electric water heater and a French press that I prepare the night before, so when I wake up I turn on the water and then prepare my coffee and drink a cup before even leaving bed. Eventually, after a few months, your body will adapt. You will start waking up and getting out of bed without needing or craving the instant energy. Hard to believe but yes it's true! (Although I still do enjoy drinking coffee in bed in the morning.)

Hi Amelie, what a great name for the journey of quitting adderall. Can you imagine being able to experience life the way the character in the movie does while taking adderall? Never. That was the most depressing aspect of adderall use for me. Unable to enjoy a sunset, drink a cup of tea in a cafe, or ride in a train and watch the scenery go by. Unable to function, even just to watch a movie, without adderall, but impossible to enjoy the small things in life with adderall. Anyway, the first 60 hours are the WORST and you describe it very well: fidgety and uncomfortable in your body. I'd add fuzzy and foggy in the brain, too. Don't worry: it WILL get better. It will probably take 5 to 7 days for you to break through the physical withdrawals. But you WILL make it through and you'll emerge on the other side ready to begin the journey to a happier, healthier, and more grounded life. And believe it or not, you will even be able to recover the productivity and mental functions you had on adderall/dex. Only it will feel so much better because you will achieve those qualities without chemicals. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Everyone here is knowledgeable and experienced and can help you through the difficult times and give you hope for what's to come.

Interesting. My experience has actually been opposite. On adderall I always had minor afflictions that caused pain. Sore gums, canker sores, cuts, hangnails and sore fingers. Having more aches and pains in general sounds like a normal side effect of getting older

When I was on adderall it was the same thing. My fiance travels a lot for work. He is gone a week at a time every four to six weeks. When he left, I would take a bunch of adderall and retreat into my hole, going crazy on projects and stuff, then drink a ton by myself at night. It helped mask the loneliness and I even kind of looked forward to being able to drink and focus by myself. When I quit taking adderall back in January, the first few times he traveled were AWFUL. I was so lonely and didn't have my old escape mechanism. I cried every day and called/texted incessantly. I even spent some nights at my mom's, who lives nearby, because I couldn't stand being alone. Now it's not quite as hard, but I still miss him A LOT when he leaves. Plus I work from home so it's like me alone in the house 24/7 unless I force myself to get out. Which I do a lot more now. Overall I am SO much happier being off adderall even when he leaves, and my time alone now feels much more authentic. Sure I still get lonely but I do a better job of calling up friends to hang out and do activities after work, rather than retreating to the adderall-alcohol-ambien cycle every day. So if you are struggling, my advice is to stick with quitting and know that it gets better when you break through the other side.

MFA, please don't. I will admit to having recently relapsed because hopefully this will convince you not to do it. What happened was I was visiting home and a friend gave me one adderall... I took it, thinking it's just one and I feel strong enough to take this one pill recreationally. That would have been fine, except then I decided to buy 6 more pills from her. I took one a day for a week. IT WAS NOT WORTH IT. After taking the last one, I spent the next five days feeling crappy... kind of like I was transported back to the first or second month of recovery. Was able to get up and go through the motions but was super worried I had really set back my recovery. (Thankfully now I feel back to normal, like before the relapse.) And my wedding is coming up in September, and it's so important to me that I reach that day feeling my absolute best, I will definitely not be taking any more adderall, not now, not ever. I guess the good thing about the relapse is it reminded me that not being on adderall is SO MUCH BETTER than being on adderall. So: a week isn't worth it. A month isn't worth it. Just don't do it!