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About Rachel

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  • Birthday April 10

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  1. My Full Story

    Hey guys, I am still doing well--77 days off Adderall. I don't know if you have seen my other post, but I was prescribed Concerta by my doctor in my chemical dependency program. I have been fine and taking it as directed, and have no desire to abuse it. In fact, I really don't feel any high from it, just an increased level of concentration. It is nothing compared to what Adderall is, in my opinion. I also get it perscribed a week at a time. I do not recommend or support going on a different kind of stimulant after abusing Adderall. Yes, the Concerta does help my ADHD symptoms, but honestly it isn't that much of a difference from when I was not taking anything. I think the work I am doing, and the healthy habits I am developing in my recovery are paying off. I don't need stimulants, and you don't either.
  2. Thank you all for your responses. Right now I'm wondering where to trust my doctor and where I should take matters into my own hands. If my psych isn't doing what is best for me, that really scares me. My life is literally in their hands. ADHD has been a struggle throughout my entire life. I know my doctors want to help as much as they can with that...I don't know. I'm confused about it all. The ADHD specialist I do work with told me medication is the most important part of the treatment, and like I said above, that's where I am in a bind bedside most of the treatment is addressed with stimulants. I was finally able to get to sleep and felt much better today. I did take the prescribed dose today along with my Wellbutrin. But this is the second day on it, we all know this can progress. I just want to make it clear that I do not suggest or support trying a different kind of stimulant for anyone trying to quit Adderall, or who has quit Adderall. My medical team in my treatment center decided to do this, and I followed it. They have been with me since my first week out of the psych ward, so I of course assume they have my best interest at heart. But as I have stated in my posts, something doesn't feel right. I have a lot of thinking to do. Thank you again to all of you.
  3. What do you do with someone who has ADHD, and then abuses their medication to the point of being 5150'd after two straight days in psychosis? How do you treat their ADHD after an incident like that? It seems very simple: Don't prescribe stimulant medication. If only it were. This has been the most difficult time in my life, hands down. Adderall helped my ADHD symptoms tremendously, but then it became my coping mechanism for past trauma and, well, life in general. You all know the story. I am currently in an outpatient program for addiction, and have 70 days off of Adderall. My program ends in May, and while I am there, I am overseen by one of the resident psychs. I was put on Wellbutrin my second day there, mainly for depression. She wanted to wait to treat the ADHD, and after 30 days clean I was handed a script for Strattera. 305 dollars later, I am feeling the worst I ever have in my life. I see the psych and she goes back to just Wellbutrin, and wants me to do that for 3 weeks. In the meantime, I am told to go to a class for ADHD. Please, if anyone has differing info on what I am about to share, tell me. I have learned the following so far: I learn in the class that medication reduces 70-80 percent of ADHD symptoms. My teacher likens ADHD meds to insulin for a diabetic. The problem is the majority of research has been done on stimulants, and if course there are glowing reviews. Not good news for me. This may sound dumb, but I didn't know ADHD was a neurological disorder, and that I was born with it. When I was diagnosed, I was handed pills and told to go about my merry way. Anyway, the class has been interesting and informative, but I'm wondering what others have heard. The three weeks come to an end. I see the psych, and am prescribed Concerta. However, it's for 14 pills and I am to get it filled weekly due to my addiction to Adderall. Concerta is thought to be safer because it's extended time release, and of course the heavy monitoring. We also get drug tested once a week, as I have mentioned in other posts. But here I am at 1:45 AM, wide awake. I have taken the medication as prescribed, and yet I am in this familiar scenario once again. My brain wants to stay up all night and catch up on all the lost time...my thesis project due next month, my final paper, laundry, the bathroom, the kitchen...you name it. I'm not high, but I can't shut down. I had this issue when I started Wellbutrin--I was up for an entire night, but after that it was fine. Am I too freaked out because I know Concerta is a stimulant like Adderall? I don't want to get back on that roller coaster ride from hell. Where does the need for ADHD treatment and the potential for abuse find its common ground? ADHD symptoms are almost exclusively reduced through medication, according to my class. So here I am. This is supposed to be helping me...right? Thnak you for listening. I would appreciate any thoughts.
  4. Scared to stop.

    Adderall was my best friend...until it wasn't. I depended on it for everything too--exactly the things you listed too. I became uncomfortable in my own skin without it. It was a crutch, and for awhile, it really did improve my life. I have ADHD and it alleviated my symptoms at the right dose. But Adderall slowly started becoming the answer for everything--bad day? Up the dose. Angry at my fiancé? Up the dose. Eventually I ended up abusing my script to the point of psychosis. I too felt like my teeeth were shifting! I am not sure if they have, but I am going to the dentist to find out what is up. I clenched my jaw so much too, and I would grind my teeth. It really helped me to get medical help when coming off Adderall, it was too hard to do on my own. That's just me. Support was really key for me, and this forum has really helped. I entered an outpatient program and am still in treatment, which helps a ton. I haven't taken Adderall in 65 days, and it feels like a lifetime. It has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I do get cravings, I won't lie, and my ADHD isn't being treated right now which is hard. But overall, life is so much better, and I feel free! Adderall controlled everything, and coming down from it or running out was like a death sentence. I don't have to worry about that anymore. Be easy on yourself and take it slow. I wasn't able you do all I wanted to for a little while, but slowly I started getting my life back. It has been hard for me to accept that improvement won't be instant, because Adderall fixed everything for me in an instant. But that is just not a realistic way for me to live. I am very glad you are here!
  5. Just from my experience...be easy on yourself and don't expect too much in the early phases of recovery. This is a process, and not something that will instantly get better the way Addy did to me. I had to get realistic with myself and my abilities, and it blew my mind when I realized, for the first time in my life, it was OK to not be Wonderwoman...and take care of myself, eat three meals a day, rest, spend time with my fiancé watching movies and playing on my phone. I let my body set its own time clock and it really does pay off. I only have 64 days off of it, but around the 50 day mark, I got the motivation to work out again. I also read 2 books in 4 days! This is only my opinion, but this is a serious thing giving up Addy and we should treat it as such. We wreaked havoc on our minds and bodies and we need to give them time to heal. I feel like we need to treat it as a serious illness, we owe it to ourselves because we are worth it! You are very brave to come to this realization. This is a great place for support from people that truly understand!
  6. France ADHD treatment for children

    Very interesting!!
  7. The Unrealistic Race to Normalcy

    Very well stated, thank you so much! That really woke me up!
  8. 2 months today! We can do this!
  9. I have 59 days today! I still have cravings, but I'm staying strong. The support systems help a ton! Thank you everyone for helping me on here!
  10. Work ethic

    I am on Wellbutrin too. It's helping my depression a lot. I still have to get treated for my ADHD. We will see what happens with that...
  11. Hello, I'm Mr. 75%

    I loved that!! So awesome.
  12. Addict or just a junkie?

    Good job! Being able to use normally one day is the great dream of many addicts, myself included. I am 59 days clean today, which isn't long, but the cravings come up out of nowhere and they are hardcore. Reaching out to my support system, like you did, is what really helps me combat them. I also wrote down all the bad stuff that happened on Addy, and I read it when the cravings come. I declare all the time how I think I can use it normally, but I know that's not true. It's my addiction not going down without a fight. You can get through this, you are strong. It sounds like you really want to quit this, and you can.
  13. Trying to get off adderall without CRASHING

    You are in the right place! It was slow going for me too, I just rode it out. I was luckily detoxed in the hospital and psych ward, and was given anti-psychotics that really helped combat the depression. I am in an outpatient program as well, and attend AA as much as I can. Can you tell your doctor about your desire to quit? Support is very helpful, in my opinion. It's hard going it alone, and I also agree with NA meetings being a good place to get that. For me, at 50 days I started feeling well enough to exercise, which I can't express enough helps!!! But it's all on your timeline, I think it's important to listen to and respect our bodies and minds...we put ourselves through so much on this drug. You can do it, and you deserve happiness.
  14. 1 year

    Great job, and thank you for sharing your story with us. You give me hope! One year seems so far off for me right now. I have 56 days today...
  15. Really not sure what to think anymore.

    Hi! I am so sorry you are feeling this way, and am glad you found the forum. I am not familiar with that feeling, but if anyone would know, I would think it would be someone here. How much Adderall were you taking?