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About Fix

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  1. Day One

    Hey CJ, I'm trying to get clean to. I made a post about a week ago talking about my situation, check it out if you're interested. It seems like there is a good chance you'll be able to overcome your problem if you start now. 6 months of 30 MG IR daily isn't too bad, well, in terms of quitting in comparison to many others. If you were to continue that for a long period of time I think that would become a huge issue, but like SeanW said 30 MG IR is a fairly low dose when comparing to people with terrible addictions. I would use on average 50 XR MG (25 IR MG) and for about the past 7 months this went on. I am currently in school, entering exam season, so quitting has been VERY hard for me. I had a few tests and got average grades on them, and have been finding it hard to focus. HOWEVER, there is hope for you, as I myself feel like I can start to focus on things a bit better (although not entirely). Having said that, I am much younger (21 years old), but I feel like you and I have a good chance to come off it completely. Just keep doing you and stay sober, I have been clean for the past 10 days, and although I have been using marijuana to somewhat cope with any withdrawals/urges to get high, I feel like I will be able to stop marijuana and everything all together by the summer (in the sense of getting over using marijuana or other substances for physical needing purposes). Anyways, just stay strong! I wish you the best! -Fix
  2. Definitely well said, I have taken heed to that!
  3. I honestly got the sick note for the 2nd exam, but still ended up writing the 1st exam yesterday. Didn't take any adderall, went in sober. Got 77% so I can't complain for now!
  4. you're right, the trades route is definitely the most practical idea. for me though I have a minor groin injury and I don't want it to get worse, I'm only 21 right now so I hope it gets better. I used to work a physical job but I haven't in almost 3 years because of the groin issue. Also, my heart lies in helping at risk youth, and counselling them, possibly becoming a therapist of some sorts. I'm in a social work program right now, Biology is just an elective I took because I didn't have many options, hopefully I can get through this semester aha
  5. you're right, thanks for reassuring me! and I've taken melatonin before and after the first few nights using it just stops working, even the dual action/higher doses. idk what to do!
  6. yea, I completely understand. It's definitely hard, but I'm glad that you're improving. It takes time, and I hope I can end up following the same steps as you and end up on my feet again. It's hard as well to stop when you're dealing with emotional issues as well. Today I had just found out a couple of my friends got their charges dropped in the situation I was speaking about in my initial post. However, they have completely pushed me to the side and are all doing things without me. I've known one of them for 12 years, and I did a lot for him and now him/them are just ignoring me. This is making it harder for me to focus on school as well, and I know it's off topic for me to mention this, but with things like that and other issues with families/friends, it's hard for me to stay sane since my emotions are all over the place after quitting abruptly. Anyways, I'm sure things will get better as time progresses, so I'll stay on my feet and manage my way through. Always appreciate the support my friend. -Fix
  7. thank you very much. Yea, my original plan, well I was contemplating, to take an adderall tmrw so I could survive going through the 2 tests, but I really don't want to because I don't want to relapse. Also, my issue wasn't only the withdrawal and the fact that the tests I have to write are gonna be a challenge and back to back same day, but also I have terrible sleeping patterns. My tests tmrw at 9am-12pm, then 12pm-2pm. For the past 3 nights I've fallen asleep between 9-11 IN THE MORNING. So I would definitely fail the 2nd test at least tmrw due to tiredness and fact that the 2nd one is the hardest. I will get the sick note tmrw after I write the first one and tell the school, if they ask which they prob wont cuz universities don't really care, I was already sick and barely got through the 1st one in the morning. Hopefully all goes well, I don't want to feel like a bad person getting a sick note but I've been struggling really hard and don't know what how to cope. Thanks for the support! -Fix
  8. thanks Frank! I'm actually considering doing group therapy at the place I get individual counselling from. It would be nice to see people in person and hear their stories/how they have overcome or are managing their addiction. I might actually try NA specifically though, never really thought of that! thanks for the recommendation ! -Fix
  9. Thank you for the response, I appreciate all the support. I recently came off anti-depressants btw, they prescribed me new ones but I don't want to take them. I'm going to have to talk to my doctor about that to. In terms of school/jobs, I am currently in midterm seasons and working twice a week at a part time job to pay my way through school. I am not abusing any drugs anymore, but it's very hard to stop, ESPECIALLY when I'm in school because I just go completely insane with all the stress (there's a lot of pressure on me to too succeed, not because of my parents really, but because I've been fucking up my entire life and need to pave a way for me to work a proper career, not just rob and sell drugs). I really want to go to rehab but it's too much of a dedication for me considering I have a lot going on in the outside world. I might give it a try though if things ever get worse. If you can, please look at my response to Sean above and let me know what you think I should do, because I am torn between what to do. Thanks again ! -Fix
  10. Thank you very much for the response, it's great to hear someone with a similar story to mine. That is very rough, and I appreciate your perspective on this matter, it has helped. I would like to ask you a question, or anyone else who is reading this. I've been having urges to go back to adderall, but mainly because I'm in the midst of midterms. I have 2 tomorrow back to back, and one of them I have no idea what's going on (it's a Biology course, a field of study I have never indulged in before). Personally, I might get a sick note for one of those tests and just do one of them tomorrow, saying I tried going to the first one and puked after then had to go get a sick note. However, my mother is telling me that if I do that it's considered lying since, to her understanding, I'm not sick and I will have bad karma/fail the midterm when I retake it anyways, so she says. Technically, although I am not ill I feel like I'm going through a mental sickness by me just being about a week off adderall. I feel like if I don't get the sick note I will relapse on the adderall trying to become superman again at a time where I need to recover, but at the same time my mom is giving me second thoughts about it, but she to doesn't know about my adderall addiction so she can't relate to my perspective as much. I appreciate the response, what are your thoughts on my current situation with the 2 exams tomorrow? -Fix
  11. Hello everyone. I just wanted to post this article to tell you all about my story. I have been addicted to adderall for about 1 year now. The first time I tried it was in 2014 when I started my first year in university. I was 18 years old at the time, and didn't really care for trying it out. However, my friend offered me one of his prescribed adderall pills and I tried it. From that point on, I had only done it every so often. 2 years past, and I found myself in some trouble with the law. I was arrested for felony offences and thought my life was over. I had spent 6 months on bail conditions from May 2017 to October 2017, but thankfully my charges were dropped. However, I am mentioning this because this was the last straw in my downward spiral in life (during the time I started taking adderall I was still on bail conditions, thinking I was about to receive minimum 4 years in prison, thus my addiction had already started before I knew I was free). Also, what made me realize I was truly addicted was when I started taking doses as high as 60-70 mg (XR) daily, and started using it to get high, not even for days I had school work or needed to focus. Prior to this, I had always been a "polydrug" user as my councillor says, meaning I don't have one single addiction, but simply just an addiction to anything that would get me high. To summarize, I have dealt with many factors that have made me resort to adderall. As a child, I had grown up wealthy in a loving family for 8 years. At a certain point, everything went down hill when I was 9. My family lost everything, my parents divorced, my sister was raped, my house got raided, my family lost our house and several valuables. I was a child and stuck in the middle of it all, I felt worthless. Once I reached high school, I got into the wrong crowd and started doing several drugs and committing crimes. More issues occurred, as I had several relationship problems, continuous family issues, and arrests as a juvenile. Long story short, I became suicidal and felt even more worthless. After all of this, and some many other things I won't have time to mention (maybe save for another time), I resorted to adderall to deal with the stress I could manage (i.e. school and work) to compensate for everything I couldn't manage (i.e. family issues, legal issues etc.). Also, I take depression medication which hasn't helped and I have terrible anxiety but my doctor will not prescribe me any short term drug for it due to my past history with addictions (which is fair on her part). I started using hardcore for a full year from 2017 till now, and I recently overdosed. I had taken too much adderall and it accumulated all into this one dark day. I arrived home at around 5 am approximately a week ago and started convulsing. My fingers and toes curled, my body went numb, everything was going black, I heard ringing in my ears, I was drowning in sweat, and my heart beat was insanely fast (side note: I have a heart murmur as well, so I was very scared). I have overdosed in the past on other drugs once, but that was an intentional attempt to kill myself. This time, it wasn't which made me very surprised. For an hour I thought I was going to die, I felt my soul escaping my chest and all I could think was "this is it". I had texted my friend who dropped me off that I was sorry for not listening to him, and to call 911 if I don't answer you in the next hour. I was surprised I could even manage to text him, as for an hour prior to having a terrible vomiting episode I couldn't move (after puking I could move my arms, but nothing else and was still numb and sweating). Long story short, since that near death experience I have stopped taking adderall. Although it has only been about a week, I wanted to post this because I don't have many outlets to resort to since friends judge me and my family wouldn't be able to handle it (my sister is doing her own thing and must focus, while my mom has cancer and my dad has parkinsons/grave's diseases, among many other conditions). I have resorted to a drug councillor, which has helped a lot, but I have been having emotional breakdowns and several suicidal thoughts accompanied by floods of tears and agony. I do not want any sympathy, all I want is to hear from people who have had similar circumstances or from anyone who can help. I have read some of these articles, and they have helped, but I am positing this to share my story of addiction, and I would greatly appreciate feedback/responses to my story based on what I have said, as some specific responses in relation to my story would help even more. If anyone has been in a similar circumstance as me, or started using adderall for the same reasons, please reply to this and share your side. I hope to overcome my addiction, but since it's so early I am fearful that I may not be able to handle it and relapse, or possibly attempt to commit suicide again. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and stay strong!