DrewK15

My story is quite similar. Used off and on over pretty much the exact same years, only difference is I went after a script earlier for more reliable supply. I quit 5-6-18 (just hit my 6 years a couple weeks ago) and am thankful to still be sober. i just wanted to stop in to offer some encouragement and say that I remember reading your old posts early in my recovery. You made a difference in my life and have a to offer this community. Well done cutting off supply, and good luck on your journey this time around.

@IsabellaSummerlove I agree with @tjzen regarding school. Taking 1-2 classes to start your first semester would be a great middle ground between full time and nothing at all. Start slow to build your confidence and go from there! As far as medications, I think it’s a good idea to wait until at least 6 months sober before making a decision to add other psychiatric pharmaceuticals. This will give you a better idea of your baseline mental wellbeing without chemicals. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. It’s what worked for me, so I wanted to share.

Focus on staying clean before worrying about the degree. If you put too much pressure on yourself too soon, you risk pushing yourself back into use patterns. 30 days is pretty early on for the level of use and symptoms you were experiencing. Set small, daily, achievable goals for yourself and take it one step at a time.

Those sound like anxiety/anxiety attack symptoms to me. It’s counterintuitive, but yes that’s common when quitting. If you’re scared for your life, go get some help or talk to someone who can help you sort through what is going on. Hang in there; more Adderall is not the answer.

@raymayd it depends on what you mean by hard. 4 months of non-daily use at those doses should be a quick physical recovery for you. Honestly, a week or 2 and you should be back where you were before you started. Psychologically and emotionally could be more difficult especially if you have worked successfully on Adderall and have yet to experience severe side effects. It’s hard to forget how Adderall makes you feel, and that temptation when you’re feeling sluggish or depressed or up against a work deadline will take longer to go away. You’re likely here because something about your relationship to this drug has you worried. I once was in your shoes. I vividly remember visiting this site for the first time a couple months after my first Adderall. That was 9 years ago and I went on to use for 4 devastating years before getting clean. If you’re already here, best to stop now before it gets worse for you. Good luck.

Heck yes @FisherKing! Keep up the good work, one foot in front of the other. Glad to see you back on here checking in with your progress. There will be hard days ahead because, newsflash, life is hard, but it is so worth it in the end to get off these drugs. Happy for you.

Checking back in here; I appreciate all of the responses. I am back in a good place with some momentum quitting nicotine. I don’t know the exact date, but I am a couple weeks off again now and feeling better. Not perfect, but making better life choices overall. Back on the right path.

@FisherKing it’ll get better if you stay the course and keep moving forward. This season will be one of the hardest you ever go through, but it’ll change you for the better if you let it. 7 months is a hard time in the journey. You’re far enough along to be out of the worst of it, but now it’s time to start picking up the pieces and start over. You need to do something to start feeling better, that’s not something that just happens if you’re sitting around not taking care of yourself. So set some small achievable goals for yourself. Even just showering and cleaning yourself up. This isn’t a great forum for financial advice; there are too many variables to consider without a proper conversation. I wish you the best of luck with your job search and finances. I’ve been where you are. I was unemployed for 2 years after I quit and filed for bankruptcy. Things started to change when I started doing the small things like eating well, exercising, etc.. there’s no magic formula for doing this without hard work.

Keep coming back to check in. Alcohol and opioid withdrawal can be dangerous, so make sure to get into treatment if you need it. No shame in that.

Hey everyone. I’m dealing with the compounding effects of some choices that have me too close for comfort to using again. I need somewhere to write some thoughts down and check in. Figured this would be a good place to start. First a breakdown/categorization of what I think I’m dealing with right now. These are a mess of causes/effects that are playing off of each other and making life miserable. Phone addiction/screen time: I’ve been averaging 8-9 hours/day on my phone for while now. Mostly addictive loop games that I am wasting money on and YouTube scrolling endlessly. I work from home and have way too much opportunity to waste time in this way. Realistically I want to get my phone time under 2 hours a day. Spending/shopping addiction issues: over the last couple months I have fallen into impulsive spending on an old habit, TCGs (Magic and Pokémon). I don’t know exact numbers, but I am probably around $5k into non-budgeted spending out of savings. I feel out of control at times which is terrifying a few years ex-bankruptcy. Bad health choices: fallen back into nicotine addiction over the last couple months. Also stopped working out and eating well. I’ve put 25-30 lbs back on that I lost post quit. I don’t feel good, so I eat to feel better, which makes me feel bad and so on for infinity. All these things combined have me in a a discouraged bordering on despairing place. If I keep living this way I know I am eventually going to use again. So I may as well admit it to myself and get back into recovery. Time to go for a run.

@Krae19 as far as habits go, you could have much worse ones than Red Bull and gum. That combo could rot your teeth over time, but I say brush your teeth a few times a day and you’ll be ok. I’m still quite addicted to caffeine, sugar, and nicotine. I’m just very wired towards stimulant use. Not habits I want to have for life but better than where I used to be.

Good posts, thanks for sharing! I quit drinking at the same time as Addy 5+ years ago but have been struggling with the thought of having a drink or two. I don’t know for sure if I am an alcoholic without the Adderall, but I’m not about to take the risk of finding out. Over the last month or so I’ve relapsed on nicotine after more than 2 years off of it. Felt fine and pretty good at first, but now all I am left with is the compulsion, hiding it from loved ones, and anxiety. It’s a hell of a mood destabilizer which is the last thing I need. Now I get to quit again. Good times.

In many ways I think this is a key to work life post Adderall. It can be so hard to get going, but once you learn how post-Addy life gets much better. I am still working on it 5 years later!

Congrats! Keep up the good work.

@Teresa just wanted to hop in and offer some encouragement. I wouldn’t concern yourself too much with quitting vaping right now. Cigarettes are an obvious health menace, but now that there is such a thing as vaping I think there is a case to be made for holding off until you are feeling more stable in your Adderall sobriety. Try not to beat yourself up. Nicotine is a a very difficult habit to break, I am 5 years into recovery from many addictions and it’s the only one I would say I still have a hard time with.