quit-once
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Posts posted by quit-once
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It is my belief that cheating at the college level prepares them to be professional corporate cheaters, like the ones who almost crashed our economy and led us into this Great Recession.
Cheating takes on many forms. I think that people who use adderall to get them through med school, law school, grad school or even high school are surely cheating just like the atheletes who use steroids or other doping techniques, to help them "win".
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When i heard toxoplasma i went numb for a split second, grossed me out. That is a crazy parasite that comes from cats. There is youtube vids on it that are creepy. ND said dont worry they can get it.
when I learned about toxoplasma in college, it was only a major concern for pregnant women who owned cats. and handled the catpoop. I hope you can kill your parasite soon. how did you get it and what symptoms does it cause?
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have you killed your parasites yet?
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Interesting article on antibiotics in meat:
Holy shit! I just read the abstract of the science study and it said that this research ......."supports the liklihood of zoonotic transmission" of MRSA from cows to people in Denmark. And that more americans die from MRSA than HIV each year.
Thanks for that link, and I think you have a great congresswoman too, MFA.
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From post #1 on this topic thread, thanks to Mikey D.
Still taking it most days Even though the "wow" factor has worn off, I just feel sharper most of the time. I plan to take the whole month's worth until the bottle is gone, kinda like a short-term mushroom therapy program.
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It is organic chemistry, and that subject just SUCKS! It took me 2 or 3 times to get through it. What does organic chem have to do with B-School anyway? If it looks like you cannot salvage any better grade than a C, is it too late to drop the class? I suggest you talk to your advisor and see if he has any input for you. It is pretty common for students to get hung up on a chemistry or math class. I would probbably be right where you are now if I was in your situation. I like to think I am an ethical person, and most of the worst lies I have ever told were related to my addiction to adderall. I don't like to cheat. But I am also a realist and I know you gotta do what you gotta do even if you must hold your nose while doing it. Your situation sucks. I wish I could give you a better comment than this but I just don't have any good advice.
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If you are having some blood work done, I suggest you also check your vitamin D level and blood sugar too. Excessive thirst and poor circulation can be a sign of insulin resistance or pre-diabetes. Are you overweight or do you binge on sugar/carbs?
I had a blood test done about four months after I quit. I was in the lower range of normal for thyroid hormone but I was vitamin D deficient, which really surprised me. As far as the insomnia goes, that is kinda normal for kicking any addiction. And as far as the depression goes, well, you do have some wellbutrin at your disposal so try it out it might help.
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.....or psychosis. You would have never made it to B school if you were still on adderall.
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I just realized that your recovery plan is very similar to what my plan looked like:
I too believe that a successful recovery must be based on nutrition, activity and hydration. My nutrition was not nearly as well-thought out as yours, but I did forgo the junk foods in favor of less processed more natural foods. My nutrition program has been evolving ever since I quit. Looking back, I could have done a lot better than I did right after quitting.
My activity consisted of long trail walks and taking up a new hobby. I knew that activity is essential for quicker recovery. My level of activity has also been evolving since quitting; and although I do not have a regular fitness plan I am getting more regular activity now that I have any time in the last ten years.
I struggled to drink enough water, and still do. Right after quitting I forced myself to drink at least three bottles of water each day in addition to everything else. It is a tough one for me to kee[p up with but I know water is so essential for flushing the poison from your system.
In addition to kicking adderall, I had two other addictions to overcome: cigarettes and sugar. Kicked the cigs shortly after adderall, but struggled with the sugar. I finally kicked the sugar habit last fall when I learned how to do Atkins the right way. Although, I am still vulnerable to a sugar relapse episode. I am only one can of soda, cookie or candy bar away from resuming a carb addiction.
You have a lot of meat in your diet - which contains a lot of natural L-Tyrosine. And you have a lot of magnesium - is your hair curly yet? You take a lot of CoQ10, whatever that is. What is that supposed to do? Are your animal vitamins like Flinstone vitamins? Eating daily salmon has got to give you lots of omega 3's and other good nutrients for brain and nerve repair. I wish I had your discipline for eating good food. Are you really getting by on only one cup of coffee per day?
Have you considered a cleansing diet or detox therapy that will assist further adderall detoxification? I did about a week of the Master Cleanser about a year ago and I have felt better ever since. Also, have you given any thought to developing new interests or activities or hobbies this summer?
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This might be stating the obvious, but I'll just state it anyway: The impaired memory formation has got to be part of the reason why people relapse. Especially after long periods of time (more time for the already impaired memories of the bad stuff to fade.)
that's why I keep hanging around here, even after 22 months. All these stories and struggles constantly remind me that I can never touch the shit ever again. I am only one pill (or a line or a toke) away from resuming my addiction.
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I heard on NPR talk of the nation yesterday that 60 to 70% of all people diagnosed with ADHD will be medicated at some point in their life.
And I read somewhere that the estimated amount of people who are "afflicted" with ADHD is about 9% of the general population
Do the math. That is A LOT of people going on/off stimulants. .......like over 20 million americans. Insane, isn't it?
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Awesome nutrition/meal/workout plan, NBP. My burning question is: how in the fuck can you eat the same food (no matter how delicious it sounds to me) every day for 21 straight days and counting? Doesn't it loose its appeal?
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I just clicked the like button for Lea's comment. I totally agree with her. When I was a kid, and I am the same age as Lea, some kids were known as "hyperactive". I think Cassie called them brats. I think the whole ADD/ADHD thing is an attempt to explain normal human behavior and an excuse to medicate normal people with bad drugs.
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I think stage 3 is a really dangerous stage to be in because there is a false sense of safety in that stage. The stage where you are using adderall as a tool to get things done. Because during this stage it's easy to be like I'm not doing anything wrong..otherwise they wouldn't legally prescribe adderall..so it's hard to fully realize the addiction has begun. At least that was the case with me. I had a false sense of safety when taking it, but really I was slipping into addiction while feeling safe.
I got stuck in stage 3 for seven years. As long as I had at least three full days per week away from adderall it always worked as desired. Of course I did not realize how worhtless I was during those three days of amphetamine withdrawl from my weekend binges. I had the same false sense of safety - "as long as I could quit and recover each week I wasn't an addict, right?" haha.
Regarding the topic thread (memory and amphetamines) here: I have recently discovered that the lions mane mushroom supplement is the real deal. Been taking it for about a week, most days. No bad things happened on the days I didn't take it. Better memory, better mood, sharper focus, and greater mental clarity. task completion. better decisions and clearer thinking. I'm not kidding, this stuff is great. And it worked for me right away.
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Sebastian,
Your story is unique and interesting. You were on the lowest of dosages and you never abused the adderall. I thought you DID taper down from 20 mg to 10 mg per day before quitting. You had one relapse after going off it but hated the experience and have just toughed out your recovery without other drugs, so far. And you have had some rough spots of depression through your early recovery. That is what I find so interesting about your experience - a tough recovery from using adderall "only as prescribed" You know, if you had began taking the wellbutrin you would have been convinced that is why you felt so great when you posted this positive message. You would have had your very own justification for taking another drug. By the way, I an not anti-drug for those who need their medication. But when it comes to daily drugs I believe less is best and none is even better.
Hang on to how good you felt when you wrote this post. It will come back to you more and more often the longer you stay away from adderall.
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OK, Coach, here's a little feedback for you.
You've almost got this. Still a couple of pieces of the puzzle to put in place but this might not be as hard as it seems. You don't want to repeat your past mistakes during your earlier addiction. Sounds like you were some kind of manipulative scoundrel that drove away or annoyed all the people who mattered, adderall caused you great personal failure, and you don't want to do that ever again.
You really do care about those who are close to you and don't want to drag them into your addiction so you want to stop before it gets out of hand and damages these relationships. You understand addiction very well, especially your own. You are lucky enough not to have any other cross-addictions, or other mental health issues like depression.
I see your shortcomings are a lack of willpower, a need for accountability, and the lack of courage to cancel your script (insecurity).
Use your people and their ignorance of your recent relapse as a motivator. Resolve to quit, forsake the adderall forever, and make a huge penalty for your own relapse, should it happen. The penalty must be something you can and will enforce upon yourself - like telling them, or realizing they may find out anyway if you end up in a rehab program. If you fail to stay quit on your own, then it is off to betty ford's place for you! And they will all find out about it. Your buddy who gave you the adderall and caused your relapse sounds like a good guy and a true friend. I don't think he meant you any harm by offering you a pill for old times sake. Let him help you stay off the shit. And this place is also great for a level of anonymous accountability.
Regarding your willpower or lack of it, well,..... that's why you need the accountability piece of the puzzle.
Your lack of courage to divorce yourself from adderall is puzzling to me. What is it that you think you still might benefit from using it? Why in the fuck would you ever want to take another pill? I understand not wanting to tell the doctor you were abusing. tell them you had a bad reaction to it. tell them you moved. tell them it just wasn't helping you or the side effects were awful. but for God's sake tell them something so you cannot just get anopther refill for whatever reason. You seem to be able to flush on a regular basis and that takes way more courage than I ever had. This again brings in both of your needs for accountability and stronger willpower.
You've almost got it, Coach. Just put the pieces of your relapse/addiction puzzle together and it will work.
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People start helping themselves when they quit. An addict will either use/abuse their drug or they quit persuing their addiction, and then they quit using. It really is that simple.
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Most lies are told for protection. Her lies protect her from your scorn and concern about her addiction. Her lies protect you (so she thinks) from the drug addict and her addictive behavior and wierdness associated with adderall abuse. Addiction and lies go together like mashed potatoes and gravy. So it will be fairly easy to forgive her for all of her addiction-related lies she tells you, once they stop. Problem is, the lies won't stop until she quits using the drug. I admire your dedication to this relationship, no matter what. It is great practice for the "better or worse, sickness or health" part of a marriage commitment.
If you choose not to confront her about her addiction, she will think she is fooling you. And you will have to suffer through the hell of addiction along with her as her main supporter and enabler. If you choose to address the issue every time she is tweaked out, your relationship will be in a constant state of arguement and denial. Ignoring an addiction in hopes that it will just go away usually does not have a good outcome for all parties involved.
I suggest you resolve not to be around her (phone calls too) while she is high on adderall. If you don't want the confrontation, then tell some whopper lies of your own to get away and do your own thing, unless you enjoy being in the presence of an addict in denial of their own addiction.
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happy APRIL FOOLS day! 
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Calo,
I think your hair will come back. Mine did, even with a little less grey color. Not sure that an exercise program will be very easy to follow during the first few months post adderall, but if you can do it it will really make you feel better sooner. Just do what you can when you feel like it. Too bad about your friend and his demise. One of my best friends died while I was still taking adderall. I delayed quitting for a few months because I actually had about three deaths of close people in my life all within a month. Please be prepared for experiencing some extreme depression during this difficult time. Have you tried the amino acid L-Tyrosine? It is a natural mood elevator.
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Ashley, that is really cool. Thanks for sharing the progress of your recovery with all of your quittingadderall friends. InRecovery, we really do need a special forum for the One Year Club. Maybe I will ask Mike about it. One thing I plan on following through with is to update my original "tell your story" story each year on my quitting anniversary date. I feel like providing an annual update would give the new quitters hope that it is realistic to expect a full recovery and a regular, normal life without and beyond adderall. I remember searching for long term success stories when I quit and I could not find them anywhere.
One Year of freedom from an addiction is a really big deal for anybody, but especially for quitting adderall because it simply takes that much time (or longer) to fully recover. Congratulations, Ashley!
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Do the people who matter in your life know anything about your addiction experiences? Is adderall the only thing you have been addicted to? Why are you more reclusive now than any other time you ran out or flushed your pills? Have you cancelled your script for the next refill? And finally, do you still see your friend who caused your first relapse a few months ago?
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My sun sign is Taurus. Stubborn and persistant. I am sure that is why I persued my addiction for nine fucking years. I am also sure it helped with my determination and resolve to quit once with no tollerance for a relapse. Although I do not keep up with my daily horoscope any more, I do find astrology to be highly amusing and incredibly accurate. The moon - her phase and location- has a lot to do with it too.
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Are you still hooked on the xanax? My favorite Pam was attivan. At the time, I knew I would look back on my addiction (s) and roll my eyes. a pill to get up with and function and another pill to help sleep because I was so wired on the speed all the time. I kicked the attivan before kicking adderall. I see you, too, were existing on about five hours of sleep, if that's what you can call it. I was chronicly exhausted and artificially wired 24/7. Quitting was such a relief
Anxiety/Easily Frustrated
in General Discussion
Posted
How about sharing those reasons.....the reasons you are quitting, the reasons you are nervous about quitting, the reasons why you want to keep taking it and the reasons you keek coming back to it?
If you were easily agitated or frustrated before you evan began taking adderall, you really can't hope for a better outcome after you have quit and recovered. I know what you mean. Adderall gave me the patience of a saint. I was training a puppy and never lost my temper and never hit her. I yelled at my dog a few times after I quit. You have never really given your recovery a chance to take hold. The first few months are hell and you should expect it to be difficult...but well worth it after you have been off it long enough to experience life free from an addiction, again.
How about sharing those reasons with us?