Teresa

@krae19 I would never go back. I just keep praying I'll wake up one day and feel better. I feel good in the mornings It just doesn't last very long.

@sirod9...I'm 61 and past menopause. I remember when I quit years ago I was finally ok. I think part of my problem is my husband has been doing our yard. It's been 3 years. I'm so sick of it. He won't get help. And he's a hoarder. I just want simple and clean. We've been married 33 years and I'm not giving up although it plays in my mind. I'd have enough from a divorce to live a nice quiet life that I'd regret. Oh the brain. "NOT TODAY SATAN!"

It's been almost 8 months. I don't think I'm ever going to feel better. I can barely do regular life. I just look forward to bedtime. I don't have the energy to exercise. I went outside and help my husband with yard work for about 30 minutes and I was exhausted. I absolutely hate this life. I know I sound like a pity party and I am one I just want a quick fix and there's no such thing. I take care of my disabled son and my grand daughters 3 days a week and it's just exhausting to me. I don't know what I'm going to do I really don't want to go to the doctor and say give me a pill I so badly wanted to do this on my own I'm so mad at myself. Thanks for letting me vent

@jnolanmartin, Oh dear I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. I took Adderall for years and I quit and started back up several times. This time was January 16th. It's been hard. I still suffer from insomnia but it's getting further between. But the lack of motivation and drive is making me crazy!!!! I try ever supplement on the market. I usually end up getting my money back because nothing works. I think it is just going to take a long long time. A good year wouldn't surprise me. I woke up early this morning because if I get plenty of sleep I feel pretty good if it would only last all day. Today is even day six since I stopped vaping that has been a challenge also but I'm determined to do it. Stupid vaping just drags me down even further. Don't give up It will get better. That's what I tell myself everyday lol. I wished I had never met Adderall. Take care of yourself and do not give up. Most all of you are way younger than I am because I'm 61 and I've been abusing myself for many years so don't like that long keep going

@sirod9 Sorry I was referring to vaping. I've stayed Adderall free since Jan 16th. I'm doing a lot better with the vaping finally. I hit off my daughters once a day. Hopefully it will get easier .

I'm there too . I have to quit and I can't seem to get it done!!! Makes me so mad at myself.

Has anyone taken ambilify to normalize their dopamine and serotonin? Can it be taken temporarily and then quit because you won't need it anymore? Thank you

I don't know if that's possible when you're addicted. Some people can do that but probably very few. I took it daily I abused it I was taking Adderall and my prescription was 60 mg per day some days I took 40 some days I took 90 but I always ran out. My husband would take a quarter of one once in awhile,and I was like why bother? Or he'd take a half ... He could take it or leave it ...not me. I have been clean since January 16th and I'm still struggling with having no energy. I have been contemplating taking ambilify it is supposed to balance out your dopamine and serotonin it definitely doesn't make you feel like Adderall by any means. But it's supposed to improve your mood. I may try that because I don't feel like my dopamine is improving at all I take supplements and some days I feel good if we get out and do something but I just look forward to bedtime everyday. I'm just starting to read a book called it's not supposed to be this way . Finding unexpected strength when disappointments leave you shattered it seems like it's going to be a really good book. You are only 24 I am 61 I deceived myself thinking that all my side effects were because I cleaned houses for 20 years new construction and it was hard work My hands hurt my fingers were stiff I had arthritis setting in my arms for my shoulders down would be numb in the morning My blood pressure was high...After stopping the Adderall all of that went away. I still have trouble sleeping at night but the fact that my body feels so much better is reason enough for me never to go back because I know if something happened I wouldn't die I would be an invalid faced with my choices that I made and how it affected everybody else. Adderall, Vyvanse it's all the devil's drug. You are young you will bounce back. You just need to find hope in something else. This forum is an excellent place to find encouragement. I really need to get out and exercise I went for a jog around the park and I was so winded and out of shape I could have just died. I couldn't believe how out of shape I was. I'm not overweight so I know I can do this. Please stay strong and stay clean you will not regret it. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you you can do it without medication. I talked to my friends about it I blurt out my addiction and I don't really care what they think most of them seem to be understanding and it really seems to help me stay accountable to myself. I'm kind of rambling. But I took Adderall for years and years I wished I would have quit taking it years and years ago. If you need someone to talk to I am here and I will listen I totally understand what you're going through.

That is awesome! I don't think it gets any better than that!!!

@Jon BI totally get what you're saying. I've been beating myself up lately because I can't quit vaping! I hate it but can't stop. It's been a couple years I guess. I lay in bed at night and think I'm just going to die what is stupid reason to die. At least Adderall we cut off our supply and it's done. Not with vaping. It even makes my stomach hurt So what the hell is wrong with me? I have the most addictive personality I've ever seen. I feel like my health is in such decline and I want it back but I can't stop doing the things that are so bad for me. I don't really even have the desire to ever take Adderall again no matter what because I know it's a vicious cycle and at my age it could be deadly. And vaping is no better but it's like I have to have something bad to do. I tried doing self-hypnosis and I think it could work I just need to do it several times a day. They have you say I don't want to poison my body I want to live etc and when I'm saying it I believe it then after I'm done I go hunt it down I am so screwed up it feels like. So there you go now you don't feel so bad lol there's me! You do what you have to do to get on top of things and the benefits will come I just know it now if I could tell that to myself and believe it I'd really be doing something! Best wishes for nothing but success.

@tjzenThank you so much for your inspiration I slept like a rock last night and I feel pretty good right at the moment. I'm going to get cleaned up put on my makeup and try to have a productive day. I can't wait till 10 months passes by to see how I feel.

Tired and went to bed around 10. It's 3:30 am and I'm wide awake. This sucks!

@sirod9thank you. I needed to hear from someone. So thank you. I'm trying to just go with the flow. I have grandkids today and I can manage to make meals and clean up and that's about it then I crawl on my bed and lay here and cry because this is just not me. But I will survive .I had holes drilled in my mouth for implants and I have to add that pain on top of the other junk in my trunk but I know I will hopefully eventually get past all this. My husband is very patient but I hate being this person. Thank you it helps does having someone to talk to that understands.

Wow I just feel so sad today. I went to the dentist yesterday for the beginning of my implants. That went well. But today I just feel worthless. I don't think I'm ever going to feel good again. I've been clean since January 16th. Maybe it's never going to be the same again. I make a lousy partner. I try so hard to be upbeat and positive and do things. But more than anything I look forward to bedtime. Thanks for letting me speak my mind. I hope everyone else is doing better than this.

@Articuluspraying success for you today. I could enjoy the laziness the sleepiness etc if I didn't always have somebody depending on me. I have grandkids to babysit disabled son to care for. I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself today I think I just want to stay in bed there's nobody here for the moment and I just want to feel better I don't want to stay in bed but I don't want to do anything does that sound familiar? I feel crazy.

Thanks @gillieI'm having rough days again. The good days were very short lived. But hopefully this too will pass. I'm forced to keep pushing forward one day at a time. Today is no exception. I just want to vegetate on the couch and I'm taking care of my disabled son today. Poor boy. Lousy company...and to ad to it I have to watch my 2 granddaughters for 4 hours in a couple hours. Oh I feel sorry for myself.

Thank you so much for the response and I will look up Mr motivation. I am happy to say I went to town got a couple of things came back and went down to my basement and work for a few hours and I must say I feel really good right now and it's been like 7 hours. I'm making dinner and I just feel really good. I never thought I could pull it off but I did!!!! I didn't accomplish a ton but I started organizing all my bins and I am making progress slowly but surely and it sure feels good!!! I hope everyone has a great evening thanks again for the input I love it:)

Good morning friends I hope this finds everyone doing well. I have been watching a lot of Jordan Peterson and Andrew huberman on YouTube regarding motivation laziness the brain all kinds of things. They give a lot of good advice why can I not follow it? I so desperately want to be motivated and I just can't seem to pull my head out of my rear end. It's easier to sit on the couch and watch the videos I went downstairs to try and start organizing my craft room and I lasted about 5 minutes. So I came upstairs and watched a video on organizing your craft room lol. I just want something magical to happen. I have been clean since January 16th after abusing my body for at least 5 years and more in between. I just had to vent. Thank you for listening

@Chihuahua Loverand @ALA Good morning!it's 6:30 & I'm up! Thank you for your posts it was refreshing and inspiring to get up and read them. I'm sorry I was negative about myself. I try not to be hard on myself. I know it's going to get better especially with summer coming on and the sunshine. Yesterday was nice and I went to town with my husband and I felt good. It's hardest when I'm sitting in the house after he's gone to work in the morning and I think I'm going to get something done today and then I don't do a whole lot. I'm waiting for my son to come with his caretaker so I will have him for the day. I'm so glad I have this for my job because I enjoy taking care of him. He can make me a little weary because sometimes he just follows me around lol and he doesn't know what he wants.Oh how I wish he could talk. And it has to be so frustrating to not ever be able to speak.The lyrics to My Valentine just resignate with me for him "if there were no words no way to speak I would still hear you . If there were no tears, no way to to feel, I'd still feel for youfor...... He never cries either. He understands alot of what you say and I know I'm his favorite person. Anyway enough about that. I love this forum it does give me so much strength and I know there's light at the end of the tunnel I see it occasionally. I am just waiting for that glorious day when I wake up and have a day where I get things done and feel like myself again. You all are a huge inspiration and I mean that with all my heart I am so glad I came across this. It is so crazy what that medication does and how it makes you think. I am so happy to be off of it even feeling like I do because I know I would have ended up having a stroke or be dead had I kept going. Now I just work on living life to the fullest and trying to keep my self-healthy. Have a beautiful day Hope to hear from you. Oh and I have chihuahuas too!

@Nicky_BVery well said. I totally agree. Speaking of dogs... My mom's dog passed away the other day and she brought it out to our house for my husband to bury in our pet cemetery and he took off the collar and said it on our bbq and the wind blew it off. Today when he went out to feed the horse he found the collar laying directly on top of the dog's grave. The only conclusion we have is our German Shepherd carried it out there and placed it there for that dog. Interesting right?!

@Chihuahua LoverWow, out of all these posts yours literally made me cry. Tears running down my cheeks. I am so sorry you have to go through this dark trial. Everyday is a challenge. But YOU will definitely come through this shining. I, too have an autistic son, at my outcome hasn't been as fortunate as yours. My son is 38 nonverbal like a little toddler but I love him to death I work with him 3 days a week that is my job because he requires 24-hour care That's a whole long story all by itself. He had a bad reaction to his first set of shots at 2 months. Adderall made me super mom but I can relate to everything you have said and it's so disturbing right?! I'm sitting here right now making a picture for my grandchild that moved away because I don't have the ambition to do anything else. I feel so brain damaged. You are so fortunate you weren't only on it for 10 months. I have taken it for years and years on and off I quit once and went back after years. Now I've been off since January 16th and it's going to take probably years to get my brain back and I'm 61. And in May I'm having implants put in my mouth Yes it destroys your mouth. All the money I have wasted and wasted and still justified my behavior. I make myself sick. But enough of that feeling sorry for myself. You just know you are not alone and we are all here for you. You will probably come out of this a lot better than a lot of us because you jumped on the bandwagon pretty quick good for you! If you ever want to talk hit me up I will listen. Take care of yourself and your beautiful family

I've been vaping and I really need to quit. I hate it with a passion because I know it's not good for me but having my wonderful addictive personality I just cannot seem to get it done. But as soon as this one's empty I am going to try again.

@Trevor95Hi It's just so crazy. All of us going through this I have been where you are. I'm still there actually. I just somehow make it through the day I look forward to bedtime I look forward to staring at the TV and not having to do anything. But at the same time I hate it I hate it I hate it I want to be full of ambition I want to finish painting my cabinet doors that I started when I was still taking Adderall My basement is full of my crafts my artwork I bought an airbrush gun because I was going to paint with an airbrush I have a cricket because I was going to learn to do crafts with the cricket I haven't done any of it. But my health was more important and I was on a suicide mission taking Adderall. I lived in denial thinking it won't kill me and then I would have anxiety all night and pray for God to just let me get through one more night and I would quit and then I would refill my prescription and promise myself I wouldn't go over my dose but I always did because I always had something really pressing that I really wanted to focus on. I'm not ADHD never have been but I almost think Adderall can turn you into ADHD with it because when I was on it I was bouncing from one project to another and I was cleaning like a maniac all the time I would stay up so late at night cleaning. And now I do nothing but I know I'm going to get better that's what I keep telling myself I'm going to get better I need to start exercising and I still look for supplements or something that might help get me a little bit motivated it comes and goes. I thought I was over the crying but if my husband's voice fluctuates or he says something just wrong not even an anger or doing anything in particular I will burst into tears and he feels bad. But out here where we all are I feel normal I feel I'm not alone I wish we were all in one room together being worthless lol wouldn't that be a sight??!! I have read some super good posts there are some super good people out there including you and I have so many videos and books and stuff that people suggest that I want to look at this is my new focus I've only been on here a few days and I just want to live on here. Just take care of yourself It's all going to get better we're all going to get better.

@Trevor95good for you! One day at a time. I'm just laying here on my bed reading all these posts feeling worthless but it's very inspiring. I look forward to bedtime everyday. But I just tell myself a good night sleep is essential