ashley6

I had my thyroid tested like 6 months ago, because I was tired a lot and felt depressed too. All came back normal, so I knew it was a part of quitting like Kyle, but it's worth getting checked out. The lack of appetite could be a side effect of the intense anxiety. I don't want to eat when I'm stressed out.

You know, you probably deal with it just like everyone else going through it....just doing what you gotta do, even if it's last minute---I can't imagine pulling an all-nighter....yikes! Love the idea of index cards around the room. Keep it up, bud!

Yaay, you have a packed full schedule and are still doing it. Way to go! Oh yeah, I thought of you tonight. I'm sitting down to write a 5 minute speech, and I get this anxiety that I usually do about performing tasks without adderall. I thought of you and grad school and how much you have on your plate, and you're doing it. I swear it gave me this burst of motivation, and I whipped it out and almost finished it. I kind of enjoyed it even. You're kind of my role model

I heard on Fox News yesterday that they're trying to make the qualifications for ADHD in children more broad so they can prescribe even more children. Truly heart-breaking. I hope it wasn't true.

Leila, I give you props for coming here and being honest. You haven't ruined it, but it sounds like you're on the fence about whether you're going to stay off of it. I wish there was an easier way to quit, but just going through it and realizing you have to feel like shit to truly recover is what keeps me going. There are no short cuts. I hope you decide to flush like lea said, otherwise it's just a big bottle of temptation sitting there in front of you. Access being cut off was and is very important for me, if not necessary. Keep posting!

That's a great plan you have in place. I hardly got out of bed the first couple of months. Keep us posted on how it's going and congratulations on your quit!

This thread is amazing to me. It shows just how much we change when quitting and just how much we weren't present when using. It seems most of us can agree that adderall makes us an unloving, emotionless (towards the ones we love) robots and destroyed or almost destroyed relationships in our lives.

InRecovery, I did 5 miles today, since I completely slacked and had a grand total of 4.5 last week. I walked some, but it honestly wasn't that hard. Have you been able to fit anything in in the past few days? I know you're busy busy!

Yes, that and it makes me feel weird all around. I don't like it all. How were your first couple days at work?!

Evie, Relapse is often a part of addiction, because it requires full commitment to patience and truly knowing you need to quit. I agree with Sky on everything above. I don't think many people quit anything being on the fence. Scared? Unsure of how your going to deal? Yes, that's normal. I knew with my whole heart it was time to quit a year ago, and it's still been probably, no, for sure, the most difficult thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm repeating sky, but he's so right about changing things....not just quitting. Working out, changing think patterns, shutting those thoughts that adderall makes you better. Just some tools I use, and I continue to focus on on a daily basis. When I hear you say, everyone around me says I shouldn't be on it, but you still tool around with the idea that you think you're better on it....that's denial. My life was in shambles when I quit, and it had been for awhile. People around me would question me about what's going on, and it would annoy the crap out of me because I knew they were right, but I was too busy living my fantasy adderall world. When YOU decide quitting is truly the only decision to better your life, your chances of quitting and staying quit are exponentially higher. I didn't feel better at six months, but hearing that this was a normal part of recovery from the members of this site gave me the will to keep going. I hope this helps a little.

I was in your girlfriend's shoes at age 24, however my boyfriend really didn't know about the adderall, just that I was acting crazy. I wish I could tell you you could help her. It's great that you're so supportive and care about her so much, but there really is nothing you can do until she decides she has a problem. Addiction often leads to manipulation and lying. It changes who a person is in every aspect. Take it from someone who was getting a prescription and buying from dealers every month.....that screams addict, and while it's not my place to judge if someone is an addict or not, you know deep down the truth. It's your decision to stay or go, just as it's hers and only her decision to quit. It breaks my heart for people who love and care about addicts, because you must feel so helpless. I wish I could give you more positive feedback. Maybe others on here have a different perspective?

Haaaa!. That tag line got my attention so fast. I got April Fooled

Your hair looks great! It's amazing how much healthier and thicker your hair gets when quitting. If it affects your hair that much, just imagine the damage it was doing to our overall health. Yikes!

Oh, I'm so happy for you. I love the lessons you highlighted, as this is what recovery is all about. Still working on those, and you always put it into words that make me think aha! You're going to do great! Good luck (but you don't need it because you've got this).

LilTex, I completely agree with you on the cleaning thing. I had to do that yesterday, because my parents are coming in town. It was triggersome (I made that word up), but that was one thing I loved about adderall too. But really when I look back, towards the end of my adderall binges, I was a slob. My room was a complete mess. It was obviously a sign of what was going on internally....pure insanity.

MFA, I wanted to include you in that last of people who have made this recovery thing work. There are many of you, I just feel like I really know you. Weird maybe. You've accomplished so much in 6 months, and I'm so proud of you! Sebastian, if you want an example of a success story, read just a couple of MFA's posts.

Sebastian, There are stories where people have gone back to normal. There are stories that I define as success stories on here a lot, but it doesn't mean it's going to happen without some struggle....look at InRecovery, quit-once, Cassie, LilTex to name a few that have a lot of time under their belt. It's a new normal, but it doesn't mean it's any less good than the "normal" before adderall. You seem to spend a lot of time worrying, I do too, so no judgement there at all, but I think anti anxiety and anti depressants can be really helpful for that. They have helped me. Best wishes.

Thank you all! Your kind words mean so much to me. I feel like I have a little family here.QO, I haven't brought myself to read that first post, but I think it might be a good time because it could give other people the hope that they need. Good point. My friend scheduled me 2 hours at the spa today, then a dinner with my two sets of parents. I truly have great people in my life.

LilTex, I love the overlaps of that video and what it's like when quitting!

Today marks 1 year adderall-free! I don't think I've ever been more grateful for anything in my entire life, and I want to thank you all who have been there with me on this journey. I've cried some happy tears over the past few days, because I never, ever thought I would be where I am. It turns out that the Ashley that I thought was weak and incapable has strength that I never even knew I had. I will write more later, but I'm going to bed for now. Let me tell you all that are fighting the good fight, it's worth it, and if I can do it, so can YOU. I'm so blessed, and I thank God every single day for getting my life back. I can't even believe one day at a time has turned into 365.

I second Sky. Things do improve, but the only way to heal is to go through it. Your post reminds me a lot of mine when I first quit, and I can tell you there is a lot of good in reaching your own personal hell. It's what motivated me to decide to quit, because I had reached what I felt like was my rock bottom.....that gives you the motivation to realize it's time to let go and start making a better life for yourself. I definitely had some of your withdrawal symptoms. Everybody is different, but if you read through people's posts on here, I think you'll see that what you're experiencing is quite typical in withdrawal. Our bodies got used to being speed freaks, so it will take to regroup. Patience is a virtue anr a necessity in this process. Fight like heck to give quitting number one priority in your life, because it needs to be. And never, ever forget what quitting was like. It will serve as a reminder now and in the future that you never want to go back to that awful place. Congratulations on two weeks! Hang in there.

InRecovery, I only got 9.5 miles in last week. Quite disappointed in myself, so today I decided it's time to get it back in gear. So I did and whipped out 4.6 miles. My. Legs. Hurt. It's a good feeling when you start missing it, eh? I was so lethargic yesterday, and I was wondering why. I realized I was missing working out. My energy came back even though I felt exhausted before doing it. I had that healthy dopamine rush we talked about before....ahhh. Good luck with your exams. Let us know how they go!

Leila, I wanted to chime in on the social anxiety issue. I, too, had that hardcore. I began to avoid all public situations that I could, and I started to accept it as a part of who I was, because I have struggled with it on and off my whole life and just thought it was worse than ever. I didn't want to tie it to the adderall. Off adderall- my social anxiety is like a 2 only once in awhile, versus a 9 or 10 on a daily basis with adderall. I think you will be pleasantly surprised to see that it's a major side effect of adderall. Yes, you may still have it, but adderall exacerbates a condition like that that is already present. It's a stimulant. It becomes really obvious when you quit how many of those issues go away. I truly feel your pain on that, and I'm only sharing my story here to give you some hope. I didn't graduate college because I couldn't get myself to take public speaking. Well, I'm taking it now, and guess what? I can even say I kind of enjoy it. This is something to look forward to when quitting

LilTex, Goodness, you've had quite the journey. I agree with MFA, I'm shocked at how much you've dealt with. I had no idea. That's really amazing that you've bounced back from so much addiction, and doing it very well!! I mean, Ironman...wow! No, I didn't like to drink on adderall at all. I did once in awhile, but being super anti-social, I rarely did, and didn't like it. Thanks for sharing your story...quite inspirational.

Wow. This brought back so many adderall memories. It felt like yesterday reading this. Just imagine when you can have a calm mind again. Not constantly looking for something to do and being paranoid but just being. That will happen soon after quitting. Just being is a real blessing.