[L-Tyrosine - it can be helpful but USE IT CAREFULLY]

I found that lions mame took some in the afternoon yesterday and had a headache in the early evening I also had one this morning. Is this a common side effect? Just curious not certain that's why but seeing if it's a possibility.

[L-Tyrosine - it can be helpful but USE IT CAREFULLY]

You know even if it's all placebo but it helps worth a shot. I think knowing what powerful pills can do if it doesn't work I won't trick myself into thinking it does. Must say today was so much better vs the rest of this week. My craving for adderal was higher then it has been for weeks last couple of days . But today I got up at 5am went to the gym then went on my day at work didn't feel overwhelming fatigue. It would be interesting if we all took down data of all of what we go through. Like say a 1-10 on fatigue and 1-10 on craving a pill on a timeline. Then make graphs so people could compare themselves of course having info on how long you took before quitting dosage would all need to be accounted for. Just think if more research was done so people really know what's ahead could make quitting easier. Of course the medical world won't care to do this not something pharmacy's and doctors would make more money with.

Just want to say to anyone quitting you absolutely cannot have access to this drug by any means or you will fail. I know this week if I had a my old script I would have gave in no doubt.

[L-Tyrosine - it can be helpful but USE IT CAREFULLY]

Figured lions mane was a supplement was being sarcastic . That's one thing I got back off adderal is being a smart ass for better or worse. I looked it up on Amazon and like all supplements huge price range and pills, powders etc. Do you have any advice on which one to try?

[L-Tyrosine - it can be helpful but USE IT CAREFULLY]

I don't hunt lions so never tried lions mane but I'm sure wearing one would be cool not sure how it would help. I'll try fish oil again but it makes me burp and smell rancid not sure if I'll keep up on that one. I ordered l- tyrosine tonight should get it by Saturday. I did try 5-htp for a few weeks it did nothing. St.johns wort I have questionable doubts the longer I'm on it. For one it gives me heartburn the other issue I wonder if it's counter productive I heard a side effect is feeling tired. I now started to take the full daily dose at night see if that makes a difference.

[L-Tyrosine - it can be helpful but USE IT CAREFULLY]

Are you taking the energy boost C4 pre work out powder or the pills. I read a few reviews on Amazon about the pills some say it works best at night others in the day. I'm getting a little desperate to find something to get me going. I'm exercising eating right sleeping taking St. John's wart nothing is helping. I cannot get focused because either I'm to tired or the anxiety over the hole I'm in is too much. I find myself wanting to get allergy medicine because I know it gives me some boost but really don't want to go down that road. I know people say don't worry it will pass stay off supplements well I got bills to pay and a family to feed so I gotta try something to help me get threw this tough times. If someone wants to donate money and pay my bills sure I'll chill out not look for alternatives be easy to ride this wave if staying clean was my only worry in life right now.

[Sick and tired of being tired!]

One thing I wonder is if I'll ever enjoy something I went way overboard with during my time on drugs. I used to restore complex machines that date back to the 1950's I have a lot of them. I don't really wanna say to much in detail in fear of releasing my identity not that people are on here looking but you never know. Anyways since quitting everything I can't stand them don't care to do anything with them which sort of makes me sad. I have not pushed myself to do it because it's nothing that is needed to make a living. Just a once passionate hobby where all the passion was lost after I stopped adderal and oxy . I'd hope to one day get a urge to do them again at a steady pace not doing all nighters to complete them in a rush, but just at a normal pace.

This is what makes being a addict like us is so hard to understand. We get strung out want to work just doesn't make sense vs a common junkie.

[One Year and Seven Months - trying to be kind to myself]

I just miss being high and loving work but then again I was on adderal plus oxy everyday it was great now life is so so fucking boring. Very little makes me happy and I look forward to very little however I have become obsessed with the MLB being from KC that's easy these days. I watch MLB network non stop listen to sports radio all the time never used to be like that not sure why off adderal I'm a sports nut now maybe because I don't wanna do much of anything myself.

[Sick and tired of being tired!]

I clicked on the length in the past it shows a bunch of crap for weight loss and months until a due date. I'm sure somewhere I could find it but I don't have the patience maybe I have adhd should be on adderall haha jk . My give up date was 11-20-15 so if anyone knows how to make one I'll use it.

[Sick and tired of being tired!]

Appreciate that Doge a few weeks ago was a Sunday I felt happy for once had good energy played with kids made big dinner cleaned up no issues. I really thought that was going to be a turning point. That kind of day has not returned I can't pinpoint what I ate differently are anything. Yes I can do chores now I can semi work but I'm just tired no drive must force myself to do everything and no real self satisfying reward of accomplishment once completed. Why can't that kind of day come back must I suffer 2 years of this or 6 months I'm pretty confused on that now. If I can have a couple of good days here and there this would not be so bad but the longer I have these bad streaks it really makes me want to give up.

This is the only place I feel safe to say whatever's on my mind no one else knows what I'm going threw elsewhere I hope anybody on here lays out everything if not what's the point of being on here only way it can really help .

[Sick and tired of being tired!]

If I could easily make about $10,000 to pay off dept help pay my kids school id be in a better place. The stress of not having money to pay bills or energy I had on the pills is overwhelming right now. Reading this may take up towards two years is like a prison sentence. I can't afford professional therapy and obviously any med a doctor can give me will just fuck me up more. Obviously for the amount of people on this drug vs the very few on here most people don't ever stop or don't have a big issue doing so. I know deep down if I took that pill I'd feel very disappointed in myself. I can't stand being like this I know before taking adderal I was a hard worker with drive I took this because I had to try and be superman and I was for awhile now I'm somone on the path towards welfare I can't stand myself if I didn't have kids I would consider ending it all at this point fuck it all

[Can you explain how you felt during your withdrawals both physically and emotionally?]

It sucks bad! I'm sorry no way to paint a rainbow from me right now. I come on here to find encouragement and sometimes it can't really be found. Yes stopping would be easy if you could be a tree and just live everyday doing much of nothing. My stage I'm in now is a dangerous one when I get so fed up and tired of hearing this is a two year process I can't stand it. I was on a high dose of 60 mg for 8 years if you were on a lower dosage possibly won't be as bad. I thought threw craving a pill but today I'm just freaking pissed sick of it all can't stand myself welcome to the hell of quitting.

[Sick and tired of being tired!]

When I first stopped adderall it seemed like a day went on forever time slowed down. Now a couple months out the day flies by and at the end of it I have little progress to show. Beyond staying drug free I'm doing little to nothing wasting valuable and minutes, hours and days wasted away. I started to work out early in the am but after the workout I'm still not focused still wanting to lie around and not start working. I have a friend with cancers she is going threw chemo and has more energy and will power then me! What the fuck is wrong with me? Will my body ever get back to normal? I push myself but still accomplish little my inner drive seems all but a distant memory. Days like today if my script was around I'd probbably just waste all the months being clean for a pill that will jump start me. I feel like this is never going to end I'm going to throw away everything I worked so hard for off this pill because I cannot get off my ass. Understand this takes time but the bills don't stop coming and projects around the house need to be done. I hate this I hate not being happy I hate not having energy this is a bad day and having way too many of them to make me feel this is worth it.

[Expert Level Recovery; Don't Replace One Substance with Another]

I got to lay off those flinstone vitamins hitting those up pretty hard lately. Found myself chopping one up the other day to snort it dangerous stuff.

[My story..advice?]

I sometimes took three to four times my daily addy dose along with pain pills not prescribed to me then a little alcohol just to keep the buzz going. I have been clean for a couple months off adderal and oxy I still drink from time to time. But for me alcohol is not a trigger to take adderal it's actually the opposite. So when I go to a NA meeting and they preach total sobriety I understand why but not going to put myself down for enjoying a glass of wine at dinner or a few beers watching a ball game. Each person is different if you stop adderal and drink heavily every night you probbably have a problem and need to completely stop booth. Stay clear of those diet pills those will not benefit you like adderal did at one time. Five hour energy shots seem to help me but I won't take pills for enemy esipically ones with ephedrine. I think everyone identifies the secret addiction and it makes it hard to stop. You can't tell your work friends are family hey I'm a complete lazy ass now because I'm battling a horrible addiction. Most people are like what's your problem so what get off your ass. But it is worth it, I think I hope still struggling but slowly getting better day by day. But I'm now getting a little more energy and will power vs my lazy teenage son. That's not saying much but it's a improvement now when I get on his case for being lazy I won't have the guilt of being on adderal pills to make me a hypocrite.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

Well Thursday and Friday woke up fine at 5:30am worked out and the rest of the day was ok. It's weird normally if I put my alarm for 6:30 am I struggle hit snooze but at 5:30 am I can wake up without a huge desire to lay back down. Not sure why that is but hopefully it continues.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

I have not really had a problem exercising in the afternoon but this was the first day ever today for a am workout. I mean never even before adderal did I wake up before sunrise to work out. See I've never been a great morning person part of why I fell in love with adderal. Forcing myself to do the early am thing is not really so I get my routine of exercise in its more of a way to wake up jump start the day. I'm pushing myself again tommrow and have a big day of stuff after I actually have to do so I'll see how it goes. I want to become that morning person we all hate I feel for me overcoming this unproductive morning slump I need to do this. Just hope my body rewards me hope I can start having some drive to get things going and accomplished. I feel like if I was not self employed this morning thing would be easier because I'd have the fear of being fired. I don't have that fear but now I'm getting the fear of this half ass production will cost me my buisness I must do something now.

[Feeling hopeless at 4 months.]

I agree with that no way will I ever have any at my house. I'm always scared I'll find a old pill laying around and be at a weak point adderal is very powerful. Im just past the point of missing the pill popping but still have huge hurdles to be better. I still have that other addiction I'm kicking at the same time that's what scares me more I could always score a old pain pill from places and I must really fight myself on that. Just like to hear any success stories from a adderal and oxy addict who successfully has over a years time. Maybe that does not apply to anyone on here maybe I'll be the first hopefully so. My goal is a year free from both anything less is a failure.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

Well got up and ran (jogged and walked) a mile this morning. I came back full of ambition like I never was on adderal this morning called for clients made huge sales out of debt now! Ok I did run came home wanted to lay back down but didn't I forced myself to eat breakfast, 'anyone else not have appetites off this drug figured I'd wanna eat all the time' , took my son to pre school arrived on time always a plus then came home did laundry started on office stuff got side tracked on here now lol. The scariest thing off the drug is the thought no natural motivation will ever occur again. I see many going towards anti depressants on here I did the same when I first started but could feel the drug immediately taking a negative effect on my brain. I'd say the urge to take the pill is over after a couple months little inspiration to anyone reading this who wants to stop. It's just a daily struggle even after you get over that urge to pop a pill or get a new script that's why I keep coming back on here for inspiration.

[Feeling hopeless at 4 months.]

Well I'm glad to hear 9 months you should start to see natural motivation at least. I abused this pretty hard for several years time to pay the piper now I guess.

[Feeling hopeless at 4 months.]

First of all, welcome to the forums.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. Although I wasn't using as often as you, I was on and off for about 3 years time, with a consistent use for the final 6 months or so.

Prior to taking adderall, I was not someone you'd describe as having anxiety. Although I did struggle with depression bouts, it was nothing out of the ordinary. But since quitting ~6 months ago, I've gone through quite possibly the most difficult 6 months of my life. Battling through cancer twice doesn't even compare to how difficult this struggle has been. But by pushing through and pushing through, I have finally begun to see light at the end of the tunnel. The intense "oh my God, I'm dying" or "I'll never get better" anxiety has lessened as of late. I've had a decrease in brain fog. Things, overall, are getting better. And just as you've described, there are days where the symptoms come back full force, but that's just part of the process. During post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS), you won't heal in a linear fashion. You will begin to notice good days sprinkled about your bad days, but as you progress you'll begin to notice the good days become more frequent until eventually the good days outnumber the bad days. The thing to keep in mind is this: it takes time. On average, PAWS can last 2 years. Just roll with the punches and let your brain do its thing. You're not going crazy. Rest assured, what you're going through is completely normal.

As for the stimulant supplements and Wellbutrin, I would recommend tapering off of both. It is only my opinion, but I think anything that is going to alter your dopamine activity is going to hinder the natural progression in your healing process. Adderall has completely ravaged your dopamine basal levels, receptors, and transporters. Your brain is hard at work at repairing these mechanisms, but if some outside substance is altering their levels, it makes it more difficult to repair what is wrong. Again, this is only my opinion. Others on this site have healed just fine while using caffeine as a supplement, but in my opinion, I think it may play some role in the length of your recovery. But also, on top of this, stimulants and anxiety do not mesh well. If you are struggling with anxiety, I recommend limiting your stimulant intake. Both caffeine and Wellbutrin have been known to affect anxiety levels. I would keep the Wellbutrin on hand for days where you absolutely need a pick me up. Just try to use it more sparingly. Stick to a clean diet, strong exercise regime, and adequate amounts of sleep. Keep pushing. It will get better, brotha. Feel free to message me if you're ever in need of a talk.

For fuck sakes this can last two years? Well if I don't off myself by then for being so discussed with myself guess it will be fucking worth it. Guess I'll be moving my family entire a goddamn trailer park because I won't be making any money for another year or so.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

I guess we need to have out inner drill Sargent kick are ass into gear! I never considered myself a morning person but this lack of effort now is beyond ridiculous. A few on here say go easy on yourself but man I can't if I don't turn on a switch soon I'm in big fucking trouble. I probbably won't enjoy the day but I gotta move on and force myself to be up and productive. Setting my alarm for 5:45am to do a morning workout tomorrow if I sleep in I'm going to slap the shit out of myself. If wasn't so old and have kids I'd join the military now because that's what I fucking need boot camp! God I hope nobody who wants to stop reads these that's why when I first quit I did not come on here seeing people months into the struggles from quitting was to much to contemplate. This sucks no doubt about it.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

The urge to use is not really at a high point but the struggles to progress into a productive lifestyle feels like it's getting harder. Sure I can stay clean sit on my ass and go broke or get back on addy be productive "for awhile until I waste time on useless crap" but die from a heart attack. I know the dangerous I know why I quit and I know why I won't do it again. But the overall depression of me not doing as I should is growing mounting everyday. I can barely function before 10 am I never get going like I should even after I feel awake. I used to pop a pill in the morning and take off. Now I lay just tired as hell and it does not matter if I had 8 hrs of sleep. I get high anxiety thinking of all the debt I have high anxiety of not getting work partially my fault because I fucking lay around half the day. I'm trying to stay positive but just wondering when I can be a productive person again or will I fall so deep in the hole I can't ever get back on my feet. What's the point that I should say this is it I will not get better than this, 5 months, 6 months a year two years I'm getting nervous thinking about it. I'm eating better working out getting sleep but all I want to do is lay down all morning this sucks.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

I'm pretty open to any suggestions which can help so watched a good portion of the video and do feel it can be helpful. I have felt dragged down by negative thoughts my entire life that has made me unhappy. Always felt I could easily brake away somehow but never knew how that's a big reason I turned to prescription drugs. Although I'm not a big believer that any man knows what happens in the afterlife I can't argue those thoughts of negativity to turn to drugs did not ultimately have a goal to end my life , suicide really felt like a solution many times when I was really deep into the pills. If the theories are true I must have a strong guardian angel to pull me out of that addiction before it cost me everything. The negative thoughts to turn back to drugs I have felt evil but definetly felt were made up in my own mind. The entire notion to look at them as not my own can help I'll watch the rest of the video either way I can't see the view point right or wrong to do anything negative thanks for the link.

I must tell myself why being on the drugs did not make me happy. Yes they made me feel good but I was totally on a huge roller coaster ride high peaks and low valleys. I had little control of myself often loosing my cool with family, friends and even customers so I need to quit seeking that false gradification that ultimetaly set out to destroy me. It's funny I seem to be over it then it hits me in the face I do need to eliminate the underlying factor and thanks to Liltex41 I feel one step closer today.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

This web site and NA are great free resources without them be really hard to quit. Just wondering on here if struggling big time in the mornings is common off Adderal for months? I've done coffee redbull energy shots nothing seems to work. It's been 4 months thought mornings would be better by now. If I could I would easily sleep to 10am everyday and I could have gone to sleep at 10pm. I'm eating a decent diet exercising at a gym 3 times a week doing everything your supposed to but still just a zombie in the morning no matter how much rest I get.

[Happiness in sobriety?]

I did find a good therapist but $80 per hour and me taking it slow at work just doesn't make it affordable. The thing I have learned is are society is not correctly set up to really help us who want to stop being addicts. Unless your rich or poor and on Medicare it's really hard to afford rehabilitation. My insurance paid freaking $0. I paid over $1500 out of my own pocket and that was for outpatient and only did maybe a month and a half all I could afford. What's even more messed up is the day I said this is it I'm done finding immediate help was impossible walked into one place and this ignorant rude lady yelled at me on the intercom "What u need here?" . All those rehab shows are a false reality it's not that easy because it's just not affordable for most middle class people to do. I'm not one to bitch about how unfair life is for the middle class but it's pretty clear who is getting screwed and we are so blind we think a corporate fuck ass Trump who will give more tax brakes to the rich should be president? This is partly why I used drugs society is so very fucked up and on drugs I could ignore all the social issues. The reality is we are all powerless over the media machine it dictates who we vote for it's a shame.