Frank B
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Posts posted by Frank B
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Guess because it was st.patricks day and I was at a place where I could easily obtain oxy made it difficult. I've always been a semi depressed person ever since I was little. That's a big reason I got on adderal in the first place and it did help for several years. But the last two I needed more than adderal simply wasn't making me happy then I turned to the oxy. I can't trust any medication to help with depression I'm on St. John's wart and does seem to semi help but not sure really if it makes a damn bit of difference. I know going back to either drug is not a option but sometimes I must express how I feel and can't exactly do that on my Facebook. I'll say this it has been a bitch stopping adderal but I can easily resist a temptation if it comes across once in awhile. But it's really really hard with the oxy but I guess being synthetic herion that's a good reason why. I just hope others on here don't screw themselves up like I did getting hooked on two strong narcotics it's been the hardest thing to quit just doing everyday shit seems so so boring and hard to not want to just go back into bed and keep waiting for this all to get better but maybe it won't and I must get used to having low ambition and energy forever I don't know this sucks lol.
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Btw where is everybody.? It seems like only a handful post or responses anymore. When I quit the first time saw a lot more traffic on this site.
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Sorry try to stay positive on here but I feel like people who have never been really fucking strung out high as fuck can't tell me you can be happy sober. It's like a virgin saying sex is overrated. I'm not really missing adderal but oxycodone I really do feel like no matter what I can't feel happy again no matter how hard I work I cannot treat myself to the pleasure of a little pill. I guess it's normal guess shit will get better I have no one to talk to went to a meeting tonight and idiots just start going off on bs politics and never let other people talk it's annoying it's like a bunch of people who want to act fucking nuts just go to ramble on they have been sober for 29 years but just come to steal the spotlight and not give others who need to share a ficking chance. That's the only beef I have with NA you old crazy fucks who watch Fox News all day and want to spread your stupid conspiracy theories need to stay the fuck home! Ok I shared I'll pass now.
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Season 4 irrateded me , why not just wait until season 5 is ready entire season 4 was just a build up to the next season. The show is pretty twisted and more truth about politics is shown then we want to acknowledge.
Doug is fucking nuts he scares me more then any show character ever! I already know what will happen to the poor dead guys guys wife next season.
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I have found a miracle non prescribed drug after taking this drug everything was fantastic. I've lost weight and care less about any problems energy at a all time high "until it wears off". You don't even need a script most street corners in economically underdeveloped areas supply this miracle substance for a small fee. But it's so good you just keep going back it's really hard to stop but the feeling is soooo good. I care less about material things I sold it all just to get this new wonder drug that helped me stop craving adderal. They call this "crack cocaine" highly recommended to solve all your issues off adderall.
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Congrats I'm a few months ahead relate to all you said. In Jan I did join a gym and have worked out religiously 3-4 times a week it does help but I can run a mile hit up the heavy bag weights come home and want to sit and do nothing (with NCAA tournaments going on sure makes it easy lol) . My first two months I did the same looking for a "safe" alternative and my doctor was pleased to have me be his Guinea pig again. I tried two differnt antidepressants to help boost my mood well after a week on Prozac I stopped that shit is horrible sorry to say worse then adderal in my opinion you feel amped up but still lazy and it screws with your nervous system like somone is scraping a chalk board non stop. After reading up knowing the huge risk I totally lost trust in my doctor never showed up to my last appointment does he call and check up? Hell no he cares less. I could have committed suicide which a high number of people on Prozac do and he wouldn't have known or obviously care. These med giving doctors are some of the worst people on earth they are wreckless use people as test subjects and care less about the long term damage.
It's a good idea to try to join a gym you create naturally some of the endorphins adderal makes u may become a gym rat if I didn't have kids I'd prob go everyday doesn't mean I'm cured find myself being a procrastinator most of the time still lazy around the house. But I will say lately it's been getting better look at recovery off this drug the same as rehabbing a torn acl. First u just need rest time for your injury to heal then u slowly start rehab and make yourself stronger. This doesn't happen in one month u can't find a pill to get u where u wish to be faster. Just take it day by day visit this site look for people who have less time off the drug and try to help them. It's no different then NA or AA finding others u can relate to and possibly help while your getting help from others past the stages you are currently going through.
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One thing I might add is understand if you do convince him to stop it will be very hard for you also. Understand the same man who works all day comes home works all night is going to be a lazy guy with no motivation for months. At times yourself you'll want to say scew it get back on the medication when task like even mowing the grass gets put off by him. Your basically going to go from a super man get everything done to a lazy slob who just wants to sit around and watch tv. Don't expect him to quit and be normal he will have a huge crash his brains ability to make the chemicals needed to have normal motivation is gone it comes back slowly each persons timeline seems to be different . I wish you the best of luck.
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I know what your talking about because I've been your husband for the last couple of years. I would work all day come home head right to the garage start working on a project stay up all night take more adderal and go to work again , plus I was taking oxy because my body ached so bad I was really fucked up. My fiancé was also on adderal not to the extreme I was but she really could not criticize me so said nothing. I think if she came forward and said what you did in your post I would have thought about quitting sooner. The problem with the drug is your husband really believes what he is doing is top priority and he in his mind is doing much more for his family vs any mortal man not on this super drug. However once your off the drug for awhile and look back you realize most things you accomplished were just a egotistical goal of perfection for self fulfillment. The best time to approach is a hard one knowing your husbands personality I would consider the best time to act. I think if your children are old enough have them write a letter saying how they want dad to spend more time with them. Ever since I stopped my relationship with my children has greatly increased however my production at work and getting things done has gone way down I'm still struggling. It's a total nightmare to stop it takes months to recover you may lose jobs etc but if you continue on the adderal path you will die very young this stuff is speed your heart will explode and a life of regret is left behind.
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I just read your other post so I see your worker buddy takes them. That's going to be hard you need to draw a line in the sand with him tell him don't offer you a pill again your a recovering addict if he doesn't respect that simple say you'll report him that will change his mind. People who use just like cocaine herion etc want others to use with them it makes them feel better about what they are doing so u just need to let him know your done and serious about it. I wouldn't bother telling him why everyone doing this knows it's something you'll figure out yourself until that happens it's the best drug in the world.
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I've tried to quit a couple times but kept my script around. But last time I tossed them in the toilet shredded my scripts and told my doctor I'm a adderal junkie. It's way too powerful to have laying around I've had days in the last nearly 4 months I would have gave in if my bottle was in my medicine cabinet. If you don't get rid of the pills cut ties to how you get the script your setting yourself up for failure. It's a huge step to decide to quit but it's even bigger to get the means to easy access to the pills out of your life. I hope you don't get discouraged if your taking it again don't give up on quitting.
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True words. The brain is amazing! Give it some time and you will see that you are so much more than you ever were on the pills.
Alwaysawesome thanks for being on here supporting us people new to life without adderall. It really helps hearing from people who have made it a year plus.
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3 months seems to be popping up here often must be a bitch for us all to overcome. I'm past the three month going into my 4th soon and it's been very hard but getting better. I'm a father of two both children in private schools my buisness has been crap lately not making money and I feel like a lazy piece of shit. I have no clue on how I will survive but know I'll go down honorably without my pills. My brains gonna kick in here soon I feel it coming on. I've been fucking up my head daily for 8 years so if I'm recovering already in 3 months I'd say the human brain and body is remarkable.
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I feel it may be in some ways harder for us self employed people. I know if I have to be some place to do a certain job I can do it. If I have no work and I work from home it's a challenge. It's so easy to sit on the couch watch tv or play ps4 which I never used to do. But when I first stopped I just wanted to lay in bed all the time so now it's progressed to not wanting to lay in bed but still not doing what I should. I know if I can't do this on my own I can sell my buisness not be broke and can get a job fast. But I'm going to wait it out my job is seasonal and summer will be a good test so for now I'm doing what I have never done letting a balance stay on my credit cards paying the min on loans and living like I guess most Americans do anyways lol. I think that in of itself is a accomplishment in the past quitting I felt my options were to succeed off addy or give up and get the pills again. Now my options are trying to successed in my buisness or working for a company but going back to addy is just not a option. I will say St. John's wort seems to be helping my mood worth a shot if you get depressed off the meds.
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Had anxiety stopping Xanax because it causes anxiety so you get more dependent on the drug. Never had anxiety quitting adderal been a lazy ass but not anxious about much. I had horrible anxiety on Prozac beyond belief not sure on the drug your taking but you may research it a lot of the drugs that claim to help that stuff just makes it worse so u get hooked on it to take the edge off.
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I pushed myself today every time I wanted to sit down and rest I kept saying to myself "Keep the line moving" if your a KC Royals fan you know what that means I know it's cheesy but need some inspiration motivation that can keep me moving foward. I look at it this way I gave up sugary drinks couple weeks ago the other day I said screw this why punish myself I'm going through enough so I made some sweet tea thinking how great this will be to have again. You know what I drank a couple sips then tossed it out I did not enjoy the taste as I once did. It's funny how you think something that's not particularly good for you is so wonderful. Then once you go back u realize it's not what your mind built it up to be. I can say the same is true with adderall. I quit before tried it again and it did not solve all my problems however unlike sugar in tea u can easily stop once you take the first pill again your fucked! I'm glad I have no adderal lying around to tempt me.
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I am taking magnesium. I just started yesterday. I also take a lot of caffeine...a lot.
Have you tried chromium picolinate? After going on Prozac for a short period of time after stopping adderal for depression I quickly stopped, that shit is horrible it made me anxious beyond belief it was like being on a shit ton of addy but having no good side effects of adderal. Prozac should be classified as a stimulant but a real piss poor one. I read some books about Prozac then I stopped immediately thankfully was only on it two weeks so no real withdraw. That stuff I hate to say is worse then adderal so many suicide and suicide shootings are linked back to Prozac but the company can pay off the government so the truth never comes out. Anyways I read a lot of books about depression etc and one book really showed chromium picolinate to be a somewhat miracle drug for some. It did not really do much for me personally which after reading the book I knew it probbably wouldn't but it seems to be worth a try for anyone getting off addy especially if you have a problem overeating.
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I'm on my 3rd month plus really have had my doubts about quitting lately. Thought I was getting better now I feel like I'm doing nothing again . Im not suggesting that I'm looking to get back on the med or seek it on the streets but see days go by and I get nothing accomplished. Part of me feels like I should give up owning my own buisness I have been pretty successful since 2004 so I hate to give it up. But I just hate doing the busy work office stuff. If I have a call I can get myself motivated if I don't I screw around all day and get little done. I know if start working for a company in my field I'll be a making a lot less money and seeing my family less I'll probbably be even more unhappy. But I just can't get my ass in gear I see all the things pile up I just get overwhelmed and wish I had some adderal to push me through it. Alothough the last couple months on adderal I could not even focus on that kind of stuff I would get some Side-project going and blow everything office wise off. Anyways I guess I'm glad to hear others had the same issue at 3 months but could overcome it. I'm hitting the gym 3 times a week getting plenty of sleep started taking st.johs wart to hopefully help my depression. Just wondering why I'm feeling worse then better! I do feel like I'm letting myself and family down big time right now because I have not been doing what I should with my business to be more profitable barely paying the bills and adding up credit debt.
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Congrats on 3 yrs plus! Just kinda looking back on myself my life which I haven't for several years. Being off addy now then looking back wow did I always seek stuff out since a early age I even got busted in 2nd grade by my sister sneaking a Marlboro reds from my pops smoked them in my room, I hid them in my Ghostbusters car lol. I'll admit tried real meth twice and loved it but I saw what happens to meth addicts and knew it was a very bad drug but had to feel it once in my life ok twice. Looking foward I don't miss the adderal feeling but wish I could have more energy and motivation guess everyday gets better. I feel I wasted a lot of time on so many projects that were for nothing instead of looking to make money I took on near impossible task just to prove I could do them stay up all night taking addy and pain pills restoring things in two months that should take a year. I loved it just totally in my zone nothing else in the world mattered to me except getting my project done then posting them on fb to get some praise but no real money what a waste! I'm regretting a lot of mistakes from the last couple of years and if I didn't stop I'd still be making them and probbably be broke in a year damn near broke now but at least I realize it quit spending money I didn't have.
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I recall my life as always wanting a stimulant. As a child i begged my mom for Jolt cola once in a blue moon she would give in. In my teenage years I had a pretty bad mini thin habit this was back in the day of the good mini thins it had ephedrine. That was until I threw up blood realized it was not a good thing to have. In my early 20's in college I smoked weed but would rather have coke any time the offer presented itself. I dated a girl who was on Ritalin had really didn't get hooked on it but grabbed a pill now and again and loved the feeling. Then in my late 20's I got my first adderal script then 8 years later I finally stopped. Just wonder to myself why? Why since a child did I always crave a stimulant? What is my body missing why do I want this stuff? I really don't know the answer I'm coping with each day adderal free better and better. I still have a sugar free redbull most days although it does very little. Just wonder is their some nutrient missing from my body that since a small boy I always craved a stimulant.
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I hate going to my sisters I'm 90 days off and no full on cravings for addy. But at my sisters house what's on the table? Well her sons addy prescription "which I told her is a very piss poor decision to have him on them". But look at it this way we have it easy, think of a alcoholic quitting. Think if tv ads had people having a ball on adderal, think if every wedding party had big punch bowl of adderal lol. That's one thing I took away from rehab talking to those people realized why it's so hard for alcoholics to stop. But you did the right thing the first time I stopped addy I kept a bottle stashed and here was my crazy way of thinking to justify it. I thought what if some dooms day scenario took place and I'd need addy to stay up for a couple days gathering supplies to keep my family safe lol. Well now I realize that was a ridiculous excuse and that led me to fail on my first and second attempt. I feel now u cannot quit addy and have any pills around, prescriptions and not tell your doctor your quitting because your a adderal addict.
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Congratulations to you, that's awesome:)
Well, for me I started using ad bc it was a substitute in my head for Coke. I had been using Coke on and off for years. Came close to dying a few times on it. Almost od'd on Ritalin one night too, popping it like candy and drinking. I've gone from one stimulant to another for years. And the thought of living 'stimulant free', honestly repulses me and freaks me out!
I've done Coke I'm the past was a fun party drug but too expensive to form a real habit plus did not last long. Fact that my nose bleed every time I did it also prevented me from being a Coke addict lol. I think people gravitate towards a illegal drug that their body feels they are lacking. High strung people like pot people with low energy like uppers. I know that's not always true but how I felt and adderal a legal upper with one hell of a kick was a miracle drug. But like all good things it must come to a end I knew it was not doing what it did so I got some pain pills on top of addy eventually that even stopped working. So had two choices up my adderal dose above 60 plus by more illegal OxyContin and ruin my life or quit .., so I quit got two kids can't go out like that. One blessing out of that mess is my craving for adderal is near zero now but oxy it's a struggle I still crave it and the thought of not having adderal the rest of my life I'm cool with but no oxy I kind of hate. The good thing is I cut out my oxy source 100% so getting that again would be hard adderal on the other hand I could talk my way into a new script. So my advice go get hooked on pain pills!!! Just kidding it's been hell go to a na meeting it's free you will risk nothing but getting help by going.
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It's a good place however if your on adderal only take it with a grain of salt. The best thing about NA is being open and finding people you can relate to that is what helps. The 12 steps etc are not really designed for us adderal addicts unless you went way beyond your script or never had one and bought them off the streets. I really wish some sort of adderal outreach programs were available but that won't ever happen people don't understand because you can function just fine for many years then it does come crashing down. It's now been 3 months and I can honestly say this weekend is the first weekend I've felt normal energy wise. I have been pushing myself working out cutting out sugary drinks and it seemed like it was all for nothing half the day I wanted to lay down and do nothing. But for some reason this weekend I got chores done around the house took my kid to the park made dinner cleaned up and felt good about myself. It's been 3 months of hell and the only thing that made me quit was tossing my pills in the toilet and telling my doctor the truth I was abusing this it has made me mad do not write me anymore scripts.
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It's been a couple weeks off adderal and everyday even with working out I've felt blah most of the day. I stopped pop a couple weeks ago but still had sugar in my morning coffee and sweat tea most of the day. Well I made a decision two days ago no sugar in coffee or tea. I'm not overweight by any means but felt something is dragging me down. I gotta say even just two days I've felt much much better. I'm not going to completely go nuts over stopping sugar in food but rarely do I eat sweets and if I keep feeling better with the total deduction of sugar from beverages I might turn into a no sugar freak which is way better than a adderal/ oxy junkie. I would highly suggest at the very least do not drink anything with sugar. I also would stay away from diet pop I really feel for some reason diet soda is linked to cancer and one day the truth will be out fully. I limit my grain intake also I do notice eating a bagel in the morning just drags me down switching to protein shakes for breakfast and coffee with no sugar but still like half and half in it. Nothing beyond buying meth will replace the rush of adderal it's a matter of being ok with what you are and beleive you can do anything needed without pills. No you will not have crazy all nighters knocking out a to do list but you'll live a lot longer and happier by not doing so.
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Reminds me of suicidal tendencies
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Happiness in sobriety?
in General Discussion
Posted
I quit them both the week of November 20th 2015. The bad part of my problem is I know where old pain pill script bottles are at certain places, I never got caught but the temptations bad when I go to a place I've used in the past to score a couple pills. You know those commercials about kids going into medicine cabinets and how you should throw your old meds away? How true it is and unfortunately it's not just kids. I knew eventually I'd slip up why I had to stop. But when your a addict you can convince yourself it's ok and the pill bottle date was two three years old. Sometimes I wished when I was doing that I would have got busted so I would be forced to get help. I guess fate had a different route for me how many people who did what I was doing wish they got help before they got into deep shit. It's like part of me knows it was coming to a cluster fuck mess end and I wanted to stop so bad but the addict side says hey you always got away with it lets have fun. Demons in my head I'm a mess but the good side of me is slowly winning just wish I could be happier and more energetic. I guess part of it is overcoming two long term addictions at once that very few for the most part do so hard to get words of wisdom but I'm sure someone on here has. I know poor me it's fucking pathetic can't stand being like this!