Freedom's Wings

I was on it as a child, my mom just stopped giving it to me. as an adult now I would say that was for the best, not sure of any affect it may have had on me then, but I remember hating taking it. Does your child dislike taking it or are they used to it etc...??

Hey, still looking for a voice?? It's been almost six months since you posted this, but, If you need someone's (unprofessional opinion) I'd be happy to voice mine. Til then toodles. F.Wingz

lol @ quit-once

Are you saying and start the quitting process this summer or are you saying to just not take it during the summer but you plan to resume in the fall? F.Wingz

Greetings Ashley, I completely understand, more than I would or could ever wish to. Adderall is a beautiful, ugly, evil drug. It is soooo hard to "get real" again after life on adderall, especially with the amount of time we spent on it. still, I have confidence that we will fully overcome. stick it out!! You can do it!!This indeed is the fight of our lives, for our lives. I get extreme social anxiety, and even more so when I have to be around people I know or that know me well, don't know what that is all about but, family is most definitely a high trigger point. I am actually happy,not in the true sense of course, but to see that I am not the only one who weirds out in these types of situations- post adderall. My initial thinking was...I must be losing it or have lost it already, I've known most of these people my entire life!! But that's what adderall does to you. You forget who you are, were, and everything else that ever made sense for that matter. Friends and family become strangers, because we've lost ourselves. What is the expressing of emotions now at a family get-together but some anxious/awkward moment?? It really does suck major. Does anyone in you're family know what you are going through? or has anyone said or noticed anything different about you?? Do you find fear expecting that they might?? I've told my mom finally,and although we've never had a peachy keen relationship, it did relieve some of the embarrassment, though it initially caused embarrassment to tell her. I'm glad that I actually did. I don't talk about it with her, but I'm glad she knows. I am extremely proud of you for going at it sober, that is so major. Although, I've only been clean a short while, I actually went to the last few family events sober...I guess testing the un-spiked waters.-Not the greatest experiences to say the least- but, I'm sure it was more or all a me thing for that matter- pure anxiety poured through me, but, I pulled it off and will continue to go at it sober until I again remember; Hey,these are my family members and they love me.That's all that ever made sense before, give or take the normal family squabble. And there's no reason for that not to make sense now. How am I?? hmmm...Recovery is so fickle!!! I can't wait to recover from recovery as I heard someone say on here; It's kind of like the post recovery stage. You're still recovering but, no longer hyper-focused on trying to recover. That's how I'm doing. I'm up/ I'm down...Ready to have my life back, but I can't cause all I have the brain power to do is focus on recovery and not relapsing. It's draining, and a little over a month sober, I'm already over the process. Nonetheless, knowing it's a process I persevere. Lol, that's all I got for the moment. Well...that, this site, people like you and faith, which is better than having nothing, as I did in the grips of my addiction, when all that mattered was popping another pill and faking it. Anyhow, I'll keep you posted. Take care, til next time. Keep me posted and Let me know how it goes with the family. Peace be with you, F.Wings

LB, Very Profound. I never looked at it in that manner. Wow. That just gave me some extra gas to fight it out tomorrow, Thank you. Just reminding myself that I, not adderall, brought me here to this site, helps to remind me that I am still inside of me lurking, just waiting for the right time to resurface! I do greatly detest the whole hermit feeling, I used to be so outgoing. I hope that I do not always wish to run from society, but I totally get what you're saying. Thank you for the encouraging words. We will conquer this war! Peace be with you, praying for your recovery. Blessings, F.Wings

Whittering, You are so more than welcome. Although, It's gonna get worse before it gets better, that's the nature of the beast. I feel your pain,and I wish I could take it from you because thats what it is, pain. And the moment you take a "happypill" only to realize that splash of temporary relief is nothing more than a back stabbing liar,you will then only be adding serious regret to the pain your trying to mask, which only continues the cycle. Though you may be down and out right now, you are free and of your own will. Be patient with yourself...getting to this point didn't take a day, getting out of it wont either. You are perfect in this moment, just stay here into the next. As far as the weight, I completely understand where you're coming from. You may have gained a few pounds, but remember this is a process and each STEP you take is progress. Right now you're not going to have motivation to do anything, it's just NOT going to happen, you are going to have to force yourself to get that ball rolling, even if it's slowly or for a couple of minutes as a start. Go outside, get out of the house! that part is sooo important. Walk around the block just once and back; give yourself even a five minute "get active" time schedule where each day you force yourself to get active, turn it into a routine, then slowly increase the time. I actually went for a short jog today! and I am zip for motivation, but somehow I did it. And funny thing...as I know your struggles all to well...I am even more inspired by you today then I was before!! You can do it, will will overcome this. Please be vigilant and one day you and I will both look back at this phase of our lives like it was nothing more than a crazy night in Cancun. Blessings,Peace be with you. F.Wings

Ashley, I just wanna say as a newbie to this site and quitting process, just keep persevering, you can do it and we are all rooting for you!! You were the first to respond to my cries a few days ago when I first signed on to this site, and just as you reminded me, here I am to remind you, it's worth it! and even more than that you're worth it! You're In my Prayers, F.WIngs P.S. I picked up that supplement you recommended. Thanks.

Jambo, @InRecovery! Thank you for your words of encouragement and advice. I especially Like the "I am no longer Captivated by time wasting projects" part. -so true. Though each day is different, I am soo0o0o glad I found this sight, I feel like Im picking up momentum!! Pray for me. F.Wings

@ Anna Thank you for your input. Congrats on 2.5months drug free and good luck with law school! I am noticing slight differences thus far and have incorporated daily exercising into my regimen and also I just picked up a supplement recommended by another recoveree..-not a word?? -Lol. Anywhoo i am glad to hear that things continue to look up in your direction. Gives me hope. I gotta break this hold. I want to much out of life to not live it to the fullest. F.Wings

Hey there f2 or Femfreestyler, I couldn't help but notice your name. Do you rap or do music?? Also, were you ever addicted or abusing addy and for how long, if you don't mind me asking? Freedom's Wings

Greetings, Hello there, I'm kinda short for time, but I wanted just wanted to be a voice of encouragement, going through and knowing what you are experiencing. You can do it! Whatever you do,don't stop trying and never give up on the real and true you! You are worth it by grand design! I'm at 45 days clean- small victories. -Freedom's Wings

Hey there Cassie, That group you mentioned sounds kind of awesome; I like the concept. Do you happen to have the web address? I'd like to see if there is one in my area. -Freedom's Wings

Congrats on 163 days free and clear from the shackles of adderall!! As of now you are something like a hero in my eyes, I cant wait to post up numbers like those!-45 days clean here. You may not know my story but, in brief, I've taken adderall for 5 1/2years abused for 2.5 of those years, the latter part. Just recently I was prescribed Welbutrin, been taking it for a few months now. I don't personally notice anything with the drug!? It's either that, or I'm so acclimated to the "waiting for the buzz" to kick in effect that my tolerance is to high to notice such menial neuro-shifts. Either way, I don't plan to stay on the Welbutrin lifelong, just until I feel a little more stable from within. My two cent's would be If you have managed to kick them both then, let bygones be and weather the storm- I hear there is sunshine at the end of that tunnel funnel. For me you are that proof even at 163 days to my 45, if only because we are no longer shackled to the reigns of adderall. If you must take something then I would recommend the Welbutrin, because at least for me it does not have the "high' or the high/low effect of adderall, and appears much easier to drop at one's own discretion. Hang in there! Despite all appearances, all things are in divine order and you are beating this thing! You will conquer, I have faith and you have come this far, and as any adderallic knows even 30mins without adderall can feel like 30 days as slow as time and your body moves in accordance with that time. So in actuality you are further along in personal progress than what the calender reads and so much closer the the true you, than you even were 30 mins ago! I can totally relate to the feeling like a awful parent thing due to this drug! But, please remember especially if you are anything like the perfectionist mindset as I am, we are not perfect, we are human and subject to err, hurt, have down days, and yes perhaps even months. Our kids deserve our best, not perfection...and life happens which is just as an important lesson as any to teach! All of your actions my not make sense now, from the outside looking in, or even from inside looking out-sometimes, but you are moving through, and the "process stages" of many things are always the most heavily scrutinized. Of greater importance is what you make of and what becomes of the process,because that's what they will remember. So stick it through, and instead of thinking of what your not providing, try and focus on what you are-lessons such as perseverance and strength- even during your weakest moments and especially during your weakest moments. I have no doubt that once you and I fully overcome this battle we will be stronger for it and serve as even better role models toward helping our children to overcome and persevere! -These traits I am much assured will get them just as far as any pat on the back or a warm embrace. So here's to you! cheers to you! Be encouraged! No go Hug your children, tell them you love them..and know that you are doing your best. Freedom's Wings

Greetings, I am a newly recovering adderallic, 45days clean, and proud of it! -the recovery part, not so much the addict part. Anyhow I was wondering how many people have made it clear over the mountian top, and can safely say their lives are on track, they are totally in a happy place, and adderall is no longer some huge day to day or even month to month emotional struggle...Just looking for some life,"work after"- as Mike puts it -inspiration. Thank you for your input! Freedom's Wings

Having abused adderall for the last 3years and having taken it overall for the last 6, it seems to have all but destroyed the natural digestive process and functioning- major bloating. Any1 else have/had these troubles? if so, for how long? and have you found any effective solutions?? as of now I am just over a month totally clear of Adderall and looking to get my life and health back together. I welcome and Thank you for your responses. Freedom's Wings

@ Ashley Thank you so much Ashley for caring. Your response has conjured so many emotions inside of which I've been hiding for much too long. This is my true first attempt at moving forward and truly reaching out and honestly.. it's scary as hell! Yes, it is all way to crazy to find myself at this place in life. I, like you, could have never envisioned "this me" in a million years. Sure, I'd drink socially with friends. A few times I've even been fully loaded or totally shit-faced as some might say, but I've always been the so "high on life" anti-drug type that this experience leads me to wonder if fate has it's own plan.... I know deep down I am the true decider of my fate, but these times are so much more than challenging. Thank you a million times over for your support, just knowing others can relate is invaluable, I don't think you know how much it means. I will as well keep your recovery in my prayers. Congrats on 67 days free! Hell of an accomplishment. Ps: I will be running out shortly to my nearest GNC to pick up some L-tyrosine. Freedom's Wings

Im going through too to get through as well. Just wana say keep at it!! Freedom's WIngs

Wow, I have also dealt with this issue while on adderall, including post-adderall as I am now 1 and a half months drug-free. This blogg gives me much greater insight. Let me explain just a tad... prior to reading these post I was/am still experiencing a great deal of difficulty dealing with "empathy." I can't seem to remember this being much of an issue for me pre-adderall, as it is post-adderall, which is ultimately what makes it such an issue for me. As stated above "it stands out." At this point, I don't feel as if i have ANY empathy! so...upon realizing this I tend to "lay it on thick" in order to compensate for my lack of empathy and understanding just where I should draw the empathetic-line. When I behave this way I'm not entirely faking it,I truly mean it, somewhere deep-down; Yet,I lay it on thick only because I feel remorse for not actually feeling any remorse or should I say any real connection.- hope this makes some kind of sense. Either way this post has helped me to understand...everything in moderation, thus I don't feel as bad. However, having no clue where that moderation lies is the entire problem these days..I'm guessing. Freedom's Wings

you can do it! I am at just over a month clean, and people like you even at three months are my inspiration! Take it an hour at a time if you need to, whatever you do remember that choosing to take adderall again means making the decision that you are not good enough without it,and that I don't believe is the legacy you hope to leave yourself. Peace be with you and thank you for the encouragement you grant me! Freedom's Wings.

These posts are beyond helpful. As I enter the recovery phase I plan to read them back and forth like a novel. omg!! these are trying times. Thanks for the mention of l-tyrosine;I will be running out to get some today! If anyone has a moment please check out my post, read my story and comment as I am in dire need of support and community. Thanks again and congrats to those of you who have taken the reigns to fight this fight! Freedom's Wings.

Hello there, I am in Michigan. Near Detroit, living in the suburbs. As of now I am a month free from the "happy pill" and I am desperately seeking to find a support system, meet up group, buddies to chat-talk with, form a loop. Anyone interested?? Lets get started.