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Kyle_Chaos

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Posts posted by Kyle_Chaos

  6. Before and after photo

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    inspiring man. First snow of the year in my City today. I will start hitting the gym as my winter routine. I'm gonna post a before in after pic in six months. I've had alot of digestive issues since quitting. Pretty much the only thing that doesn't cause me issues is a broccoli and chicken stir fry.  When i was on adderall I ate infrequently and binged every 4 days or so. 

    I'm familiar with that, it makes you forget that your body needs food..

  14. Ran into old Adderall buddy

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I ran into my old Adderall friend the other day. He was the one who used to give me Adderall pills in the days before I got my own prescription. He really has ADHD, but he takes a lot of Adderall, like 60 mg per day, so much that he needs to take sleeping pills every night. He also takes it to party and I've seen him snort it many times. So, to all the doctors that say people that truly have ADHD won't get addicted to stimulants, I say 'you're a moron.'

     

    Anyway, I haven't seen this friend since I was on Adderall and I noticed a couple of things I thought I'd share. One, when we were talking he was staring at me so intensely, it was sort of creepy. His gaze was just weird - it was as if he was having a staring contest with someone and his blinking frequency was off. It made me think back to this one day at work when I was on Adderall and was talking to one of my employees, and my employee asked me why I was staring at him. I didn't understand what he was talking about. But now I get it. It was like I was trying so hard to make natural eye contact with people that it came across like I was trying to stare them down in a threatening manner.

     

    The other thing I noticed is that my former friend is kind of boring. I never noticed before. This confirms that Adderall does not make you interesting person, and physically it turns you into a robot whose natural movements look stiff, forced and unnatural.

     

    I don't know anyone else who takes Adderall, so I'm glad I ran into him and could actually notice these negative quirks, now that I'm sober.

     

    Yes, it'll definitely make you boring as all sin.

    You sit there contemplating on what to say like it's the end of the world ALL the TIME.

    • Like 2

  15. Adderall is evil

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    how have you been feeling, kyle? are you on any other sort of anti-depressants or anything like that right now? 

     

    haven't heard from you in a long time.

    I'm not.

    I've been feeling okay, mainly just stressed with school.

     

    Yes, I've just been adjusting from military to civilian life.

     

    How have you been? There's an entire new croud here, it feels odd to not see the same people posting.

  19. I'm impatient.

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I hate that I relapsed, I know dwelling on the past is illogical, but we aren't entirely logical beings so I do occasionally dwell on the past. If I hadn't relapsed I would be at the point around now when others have said they started to feel better, but no.. I'm at the two month mark (almost) I feel bland, boring, still putting on a mask daily and pretending to enjoy life day after day. Life is a fucking chore, maybe I should try some anti depressant other than Wellbutrin (which made me an emotionless robot)

  20. Does this sound like anyone early in recovery?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Kyle, my suggestion to you would be to stop reading that stuff. You're ok, you just need to trust yourself and take your recovery day by day.

    I am on the west coast for work right now (3 time zones in a week whoa..) and I had a bad paws day today, brought on by jetlag and too much going on. But I didn't think too much of it, just that it too shall pass.

    This too shall pass, you just need that thing that is so simple to say and so hard to do ... Have patience.

    That's true, I will stop.

    lol

  21. Interesting and slightly depressing article

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I don't see how that it has been said that it is physically impossible to stay up on adderall for longer than 2 days....I've stayed up for 7-8 days straight on binges. Has anyone else had this experience as well?

    Nope, the max I have been awake is three nights. I remember feeling EXTREMELY strange and bland and retarded. Oddly enough, I remember everything smelling strange, too.

  22. Does this sound like anyone early in recovery?

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    It totally sounded like me when I was taking adderall and in early recovery, so it makes sense that you would feel that way, Kyle. It sucks, but in time your mind and body even out. I could've been diagnosed bipolar, BPD, amongst many other diagnoses I'd bet when abusing, but things get better, and I'm not that way at all now.

    Yes, I'm not all that early though.. I'm almost 2 months in, I always reach that 3 month mark and that's when it gets difficult.

  23. Nothing better

    in Lounge (off-topic stuff)

    Posted

    Kyle can you save your trolling for reddit, maybe?

    Many of us love to be anti-establishment somehow, but I personally try to be a better person on this site - people here make me want to be.

    We all want the best for you Kyle - I'm sorry but you seem to come across as so bitter sometimes. You have sometimes offered some of the most profound insights and can be genuinely sensitive. I'm sorry for whatever it is you are going through - let us try to help you.

    I didn't say that to offend anyone or really consider it trolling, I just stated my opinion on the types of videos that I enjoy..I really find it hard to believe that anyone would care/would find it offensive that someone feels differently than them when it comes to taste in YouTube videos..

    Odd..

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