Leslie Johnson

Take it or Tough it out?

14 posts in this topic

I'm having Doctor trust issues.. 

Today I went to my first psychiatrist appointment and explained what I have been experiencing the past 5 months since I stopped taking Aderrall. I wasn't on a high dosage.. 15 - 20 mg a day, but I took it every day for almost 3 years, and I stopped taking it cold turkey.  The doctor said I shouldn't have gone through withdraw since I was on such a low dosage, which was kind of disappointing/confusing to me because my thought is, if I haven't been suffering from withdraw, wtf is wrong with me? Is this just how unhappy/depressed I naturally am? I have no reason to be depressed and I've never experienced depression like this before for this amount of time. When I first stopped taking it I experienced major anxiety and panic, which has slowly simmered down, thank god. But now I'm dealing with this lingering depression that has me feeling pretty lifeless. How could this not be withdraw if these episodes started directly after I stopped taking aderrall?? 

Anyways.. She prescribed me Zoloff since I have been experiencing depression for this extended amount of time. What I'm really struggling with is whether or not I should wait, tough it out for another few months and try to get to the 9-10 month mark to see if I start feeling like myself again by that time. After reading through a few posts it seems like that time frame is the trend. One of the main reasons I stopped taking Aderrall is because I don't want to be dependent on a drug for my happiness. I want organic happiness. I don't want artificial happiness stemming from an anti-depressant. I am desperate for relief, but really want to make the right decision.. Although it's a very personal one I'm looking for feedback, maybe one of you has had to make the same decision? 

Questions haunting me...

Am I being too paranoid?

Am I denying myself help that I should have?  

What happens if I take it, feel better, and my body becomes dependent on an anti-depressant?

What if I don't take it, get to month 10 or 11 and don't feel better? I'm tired of feeling like a burden on those around me..

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If your struggling anything is better than adderall or other stims.

I first tried Wellbutrin which only helped a little bit then really didn’t feel any benefit so I stopped.  After much severe depression went on Zoloft only about a month and a half and it eliminated my depression, then on my own quickly tapered down and stopped just to see if the depression came back and it has not. Was very helpful besides made me a little tired while I was on it. 

Just remember everyone is different. A few here are agains SSRI’s as it made them feel worse. You have to pay close attention to how you feel while trying something new and if it works I would suggest keeping a goal of no more than 2-3 months and get off it.

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I’m not a professional but my opinion from experience, Fuck No! Why would you take a medication to help depression when one of the side effects can be worse depression and suicidal or homicidal thoughts? It’s a fucking joke go look up how SSRI’s we’re passed swifitly by the FDA. I read a book about it been awhile back but it’s disgusting. By the way not only will it prob make you feel worse but must likely also have no sexual desire “limp dick”, no real appetite, heartburn and possible  psychotic episodes (for me was like a horrible anxiety attack almost like bad acid trip) . This shit will not make you happy it makes you at best numb feel no joy or sadness. It’s a crime this shit is given out doctors are fucking blind to the truth or don’t care. Try supplements again preaching this on here people probbably get sick of it but try Lithium Orotate I wrote up in the supplement section and have a link. At worse it doesn’t work and you waste $8 compared to what can happen on a SSRI it’s a no brainer. 

 Side note my 14 yr old niece 3 weeks ago went to the er for trying to off herself with pills. Thankfully it was just some max strength aspirin but took the entire bottle. She is ok thankfully but a week prior she started a SSRI because she was feeling a little sad. You know what they said at the hospital? “Yes we see this a lot when patients start a new antidepressant.” What really upset me was I told my sister my thoughts on this shit long ago. 

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Frank I know you have strong opinions on this. I do believe your experience is as you said, I also believe everyone’s potential neurotransmitter imbalance is different. I had suicidal thoughts (first time ever) before taking the Zoloft so had little to loose and had family support to monitor me. 

And... for me it worked and had zero side effects in getting off it. I still fight with energy and concentration like everyone else here however my depression is gone after a month and a half of using and a month now being off it. 

I’d agree to try the lithium orotate and any other supplements would be a good try first. I did a number of vitamin cocktails that gave me a little more energy and decreased anxiety however just did nothing worked for my depression.

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I would give it more time and try natural remedies like exercise, healthy diet, mediation, counseling. Then if around 9-10 months you still feel this way or like you haven't improved then I would try Wellbutrin if any. 

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1 hour ago, EricP said:

Frank I know you have strong opinions on this. I do believe your experience is as you said, I also believe everyone’s potential neurotransmitter imbalance is different. I had suicidal thoughts (first time ever) before taking the Zoloft so had little to loose and had family support to monitor me. 

And... for me it worked and had zero side effects in getting off it. I still fight with energy and concentration like everyone else here however my depression is gone after a month and a half of using and a month now being off it. 

I’d agree to try the lithium orotate and any other supplements would be a good try first. I did a number of vitamin cocktails that gave me a little more energy and decreased anxiety however just did nothing worked for my depression.

Eric you did have something to lose taking a SSRI. I don’t feel it’s a last resort option for anyone considering suicide it’s just too fucking dangerous. Thinking and doing are completely different for many it  pushes them over that edge. You were lucky many are not and it ruins life’s yet doctors do not fully explain the real risk. I’ll be honest two years clean I’d go back to being a fuck up addy junkie before resorting to trying a SSRI again for depression because it literally made me want to stab myself, it was just the most fucked up thing I’ve ever felt. I know it did not have that effect on you or does everyone but my case is not that rare see video link.  Nothing against what your saying Eric know your trying to help but I just stand my ground on this subject. 

 

 

 

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It’s all good, I understand your stance!

Great video, Kelly Brogan is awesome. Well just like Joe Rogans friends had luck with ssri’s I did too however doesn’t solve the issues that she outlines especially the rare liver metabolism issue with some people. 

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What the real problem is the risk are played down by doctors. You buy this medication and read the warning labels it straight up tells you all the possible risk. So why do doctors just shrug off those side effect warnings? Well they are in the buisness of selling them. They basically told me that those side effects are very rare you should be fine. Truth is it’s not that rare and they are misinforming patients.

 Leslie your not being paranoid questioning your doctor. You are past the point of being a lab rat of Big pharma you know the side effects of medication you should have never been given. Just like the doctor claims you shouldn’t have withdrawal from your dosage of addy she would probably say the same for any bad symptoms from a SSRI. The best thing is diet, talking to a therapist and plenty of sunlight. Also trying supplements one I mentioned and many more others have had listed on here. If you feel you absolutely must be on a medication like Sean said try Wellbutrin a non SSRI antidepressant. I was on it myself awhile seemed to help some and had little problem stopping it. 

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re: zoloff / SSRIs

A family member, age 24,  took zoloff for a few months.  Not long after going off she went into a full blown bipolar 1 manic episode. She has now been hospitalized 7 times over the last 5 years with severe mania.  She is stable now but has to take a mood stabilizer and an anti-psychotic.  While I do think she was already predisposed to be bipolar 1,  I  think the zoloff set off her first eposisde.  We will never know whether she could have avoided it altogether if she hadn't taken that first trigger.

.

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Just want to let you know that it's normal to still be depressed at 5 months. It's still pretty early. I was very anhedonic for the first year. My doctor believed people who quit Adderall should feel back to normal after 30 days. Ha!

The brain takes a long time to heal from a long daily drug habit. Remember this. If you feel like you need to take something and will relapse if you don't - Wellbutrin. It has a stimulating effect that SSRIs don't, but no euphoria or addictive potential. I took a small dose of Wellbutrin at the 10 month point because I thought I might relapse (I'm talking very small, 50 mgs a day), and it helped with energy and concentration. I was very adamantly against taking another pill, too and preached that heavily on this site, but it was a tiny dose over a few months (less than half a normal daily dose) and it got me through that depressed slump so I could move forward. And it was easy to stop taking, no side effects for me.

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@Cassie @SeanW @Frank B @EricP  I really appreciate each one of you for taking the time to share your feedback with me. I'll provide an update below... 

So I did not end up taking the Zoloft. The doctor that prescribed it to me did not make me feel very comfortable taking it and basically said she didn't believe that my symptoms were in relation to discontinuing the aderrall. Just by her saying that, and the very minimal time she spent with me on my initial appointment made me lose trust in her. 

I did some more research and was actually able to find a different psychiatrists office in the area that advertised that they DO NOT ever prescribe stimulants to anyone for any reason. Awesome, right? I went to my first appointment that was quite lengthy because she really took the time to ask questions and seemed like she actually cared. By the end of the appointment, I did feel as though she had all good intention and she decided to start me on Prozac. Although unfortunately, I did take the prozac for about 5 days and every day that I took it I felt much worse, so I stopped taking it. 

I let the doctor know it didn't mesh well with me and I'm still waiting for a response, but I'm a bit more determined now to take things into my own hands and try the all-natural exercise route. Yesterday I joined a new fitness program called Pure Barre, I'm hoping it will help me make a lifestyle change and improve my day-to-day. 

Currently, I don't feel intensely depressed. But I still don't get very excited, about anything. I don't look forward to things that I used to look forward to (Travel, Working Out, Building a successful career). I have anxiety about not feeling like myself again because it has affected my work performance, relationship, and personality overall. I just keep telling myself everyday to keep holding on. I miss feeling full of life and excitement. I don't want to just keep "making it through the day". It's frustrating. 

But I'm here! And I'm going to keep trying! Happy New Year Everyone

 

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Glad your trying other routes. Prozac has pushed hard to not be labeled a stimulant but it obviously is. It kills your appetite can’t sleep much and raises anxiety so how can it not be? But unlike adderall it’s just a shitty stimulant high I’m not saying adderall is good of course but if u took both yourself then you know what I mean. 

 What’s scary is pre-internet people who took all these meds probbably told doctors and back then they could just lie and say it’s just them nothing wrong with meds. At least now we take meds have horrible side effects it’s pretty easy to find out your not alone. 

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On 12/29/2017 at 4:31 PM, Leslie Johnson said:

Currently, I don't feel intensely depressed. But I still don't get very excited, about anything. I don't look forward to things that I used to look forward to (Travel, Working Out, Building a successful career). I have anxiety about not feeling like myself again because it has affected my work performance, relationship, and personality overall. I just keep telling myself everyday to keep holding on. I miss feeling full of life and excitement. I don't want to just keep "making it through the day". It's frustrating. 

one lesson i learned within my first year was trying too hard to enjoy things actually reinforced my depression. i would just keep thinking "i used to LOVE doing this, why can't i enjoy it at all anymore?". i was miserable from trying and failing to enjoy my hobbies. but here's the thing- that response makes sense, because normally when we pick up hobbies or something, it's not an effort to start liking it.. you become interested in things and THEN spend more time to become better at it. i found it was best for my mental health to just let those things go for a while. for the time being maybe just do what you feel like doing, not what you WANT to feel like doing. if that means nothing, then so be it.. fire up Netflix and be a blob!

this is bad enough for activities or hobbies you've had all your life, but this effect is amplified for things that you started liking while on adderall. those things that you geeked out over couldn't matter less to you after you quit. it's great that working out and building a successful career are things you enjoyed- the truth is, these things are difficult for everyone, not just those of us in recovery... so don't be discouraged! (:

 

 

 

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