dolssa

Name something you have done recently without adderall :)

11 posts in this topic

Hey all-

So today.. i almost relapsed. my trigger was how messy i let my apartment get. I had to unpack my bag from CHRISTMAS and put away a ton of clothes and do the dishes. Literally wanted to die I had no energy or motivation to do it. I thought wow 10 mg of addy just 10 mg and I can clean all this! I even wrote out a message to someone who I used to buy from. didnt send it thank god! I somehow talked myself out of that and told myself to just fucking clean it. After 10 minutes of cleaning I realized it wasnt as hard as I was working myself up over. I finished everything in about an hour and a half. crazy how i let it sit there for days thinking i was incapable of doing it without adderall LOL. I felt silly for being proud of myself for doing the simplest of things, but honestly I am proud of doing those chores sober. Now, I think ill be able to do them again sober!

 what have you done today or recently that you are proud of yourself for doing without adderall? 

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@dolssa congrats on cleaning your apartment today, happy for you! Have you considered deleting your contacts that can supply you?

Today, I played a video game (the Witcher 3, started playing it again after the Netflix series came out..) for like 2 hours without the help of adderall. I used to find it overwhelming and stressful to even play RPG video games like that since it's a lot of work. Slowly starting to see the fun in it again..

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7 hours ago, skylounger said:

Today, I played a video game (the Witcher 3, started playing it again after the Netflix series came out..) for like 2 hours without the help of adderall. I used to find it overwhelming and stressful to even play RPG video games like that since it's a lot of work. Slowly starting to see the fun in it again..

@skylounger i love The Witcher! Adderall had the opposite effect on me where i had no interest in videogames, TV or movies at all. but for almost the first full year sober, i didn't have the energy for videogames. it will come back to you, i guarantee it (: by the way, there are a lot of quality of life mods for Witcher that may make the game more tolerable and less stressful. for example, i have no patience for inventory management so i got a mod for unlimited backpack weight. depending on the platform, you may have some other options available (i'm on PC).

@dolssa  don't feel silly about that - it's a HUGE deal and one of the first major victories. once you realize that it's not so bad, you'll have a fairly clean living space going forward which does WONDERS for your state of mind!

my next big challenge is writing a full song without Adderall - it's tough but i've at least put in a routine of practicing piano and guitar! 

 

 

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I did a whole semester of school without adderall. It was super fucking hard, but I did it. After that semester, I decided taking adderall would mitigate some of the difficulty I had faced. I started taking it and crashed and burned in all my classes. I'm having a very difficult time believing in my heart that I can get through school sober. I do know that when I take it, nothing good happens. Loved this post, @dolssa!

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Great post. I think it’s the little things that build up to bigger and bigger things. Every day feels like a chore until I fight through my mind to tackle each task. Today I finished a MOUNTAIN of laundry that needed to be folded.  Then I did spreadsheets. GoD awful spreadsheets for work, only took 2 hours. I did it without adderall and efficiently  :-) 

 

BEFORE when I’d take an adderall. I would have folded the laundry, then at the peak switch to my spreadsheets. Which would take me a total of IDK ALL DAy -because back then I’d also start cleaning the closet, simultaneously, then decide to wipe the inside of the drawers out and so on. Wtf I don’t miss that girl. 

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I relate to this so much.  I'll post a bigger post elsewhere, but shortcut - I was 27 days sober - 3 day lapse over xmas - then 17 days sober, then Tuesday, idk what the fuck i was thinking, so of course i just let that bleed over into today.  Anyway, how i relate is that i spent 3 hours picking out my son's friend's bday present on etsy.  What the literal fuck.  My kids didn't get to bed until midight because of this ridiculousness. 

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On 1/13/2020 at 9:30 PM, m34 said:

Great post. I think it’s the little things that build up to bigger and bigger things. Every day feels like a chore until I fight through my mind to tackle each task. Today I finished a MOUNTAIN of laundry that needed to be folded.  Then I did spreadsheets. GoD awful spreadsheets for work, only took 2 hours. I did it without adderall and efficiently  :-) 

 

BEFORE when I’d take an adderall. I would have folded the laundry, then at the peak switch to my spreadsheets. Which would take me a total of IDK ALL DAy -because back then I’d also start cleaning the closet, simultaneously, then decide to wipe the inside of the drawers out and so on. Wtf I don’t miss that girl. 

lol! @m34, peak switching between laundry and spreadsheets, I know it too well. We have to have a sense of humor about how crazy this was, yeah?

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yes! @Sleepyandsober lol. It’s crazy thinking back to all the times I was “sooooo productive”.  Only to dissect it and be like “ umm no” I was literally cleaning  for hours, stuff that didn’t need to be cleaned. While leaving the actual stuff that needed to be clean to the side. Especially, my  last yr on it. I just wasn’t right. I did this with projects and work. I keep reminding myself about this every day. It really helps me stay clean because that was a horrible time. Sometimes I’d be on a task that I’d know I need to stop and literally couldn’t break away. Not a good place. 


 

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12 hours ago, m34 said:

yes! @Sleepyandsober lol. It’s crazy thinking back to all the times I was “sooooo productive”.  Only to dissect it and be like “ umm no” I was literally cleaning  for hours, stuff that didn’t need to be cleaned. While leaving the actual stuff that needed to be clean to the side. Especially, my  last yr on it. I just wasn’t right. I did this with projects and work. I keep reminding myself about this every day. It really helps me stay clean because that was a horrible time. Sometimes I’d be on a task that I’d know I need to stop and literally couldn’t break away. Not a good place. 


 

I relate to this SOOOOO MUCH!!!!  Everything took forever even though I told myself I was being "more productive"!  Now I just can't seem to get started on the "thing."  It's very frustrating.  I know it would take a lot less time than before if I actually focused and did it, but I can't seem to get started.  Grrr...

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