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Newbies missing in action


AlwaysAwesome

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Sorry if this is off-topic, but I just wanted to say that after my first post here, I relapsed shortly thereafter and didn't want to come anywhere near this site because it just reminded me how much I hated myself for being so weak.

Ever since I've been on and off the bandwagon many times, and I've noticed a close correlation between:

A ) how frequently and earnestly I visit this site
B ) how strong my cravings are and how convincing my inner addict is

i.e. - when A decreases, B increases

I'm going to make a point of visiting once per day, because you guys are all so awesome and encouraging.

Thank you for caring so much about anonymous strangers. :)

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I am so glad that I am not the only one. I visit this site when I want to call and get a new prescription. Also, I hope to one day be a long term "quitter" and an inspiration to others! Hang in there newbs! This post wasn't meant to be critical, but I wish more members were still active. I fear many lose their battle and just give up...

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Agree with roobiki - I definitely posted here and relapsed before this quit (my final quit!) 5 months ago. I would think about the post I made and feel so ashamed that I couldn't kick it. I also remember reading so many of the posts and stories well before ever signing up for an account. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there without accounts who benefit from this website too. 

 

I clung to this site when I first quit and used it especially to get through those first 30, then 60 days. Now I remind myself to visit here whenever I'm tempted to go back. 

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I remember someone (Greg?) comparing this site to an online NA/AA type of support group.  "It works if you work it."   So I worked it.   A LOT.  For the first 6 months I posted almost every day and spent hours reading through articles, writing back and forth with fellow quitters, etc.  The more time I spent on here, focusing on healing, the less I wanted to poison myself with adderall.  And when I almost relapsed 3 or so times, I came running to the site first.  I didn't relapse. 

 

I would strongly STRONGLY recommend visiting the site at least once a day if you're serious about quitting.

 

As for the people who post once and then never post again..... it happens all the time.  My guess is that they relapsed pretty quickly.  Maybe they'll be back.   I try to offer support to new people anyway.  When I first joined, having someone welcome me by replying to my story meant the world to me.

 

We never know who we might be reaching....

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I joined the site and posted something almost exactly one year ago but did not receive much of a response and it was easy to talk myself out of trying to quit after that. I feel so overwhelmed and alone (how cliche). I have so much to learn about life and how to take care of myself, cope with stress and be an adult. I missed many crucial years when everyone else was growing up and establishing habits and finding themselves. I feel so behind. I feel like my adderall abuse over the past 5 years has prevented me from getting to know myself. I don't know who I am, I don't know how to establish healthy relationships or be completely honest or talk myself through stress or anxiety. Just looking for support and a sense of belonging anywhere I can find it. Thanks for posting this, it gave me an opportunity to jump back in and give this another try.

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Hey Hope4future,

 

I'm really sorry we didn't give you a better response when you first posted.  I bet there are tons of people like you who have a similar experience.

 

I think that in my case, only one person responded.  The fact that she wrote something so positive and supportive made all the difference in the world.  (Are you out there, MFA?)

 

So many people come onto this site, with stories that would be impossible to make up, desperately seeking support and advice.   I wish I could read every single story and offer full, thoughtful response to everyone who posts.  But I don't have the time, and I don't know that anyone here does.  

 

And I'll be honest, it's pretty heartbreaking when you spend the time to write something meaningful and the person never returns to even see it.

 

So how can we as a community support the new people better? 

 

Would it make sense to take turns actively greeting the new people?    Should that be a role?   Or should we agree to make a stronger effort?

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Don't forget - Even if the person you were responding to doesn't read it (and you never know that for sure), someone else might very well read it and gain from it. :)

I agree!  The reason I noticed the "missing in action newbies" was that I was reading the responses to the various initial posts.  They helped me a great deal!  I am just sad to see that the newbs weren't able to hang around long enough to benefit...

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