Popular Post CatsAreBetterThanDrugs Posted May 10, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 10, 2015 The hardest part about remembering the past and all the shitty things you did, is remember how it affected your family. Talking to my mom about everything is so easy. She is always there for me and she tries her hardest to understand even if she doesn't completely know what its like. But it's the rest of my family who has a hard time understanding. I called both my grandmothers today to wish them a happy mothers day and Its so hard to tell them everything is alright when sometimes its not. Only my mothers parents know about my addiction, but my dads side of the family does not. So to be the only grandchild who is not graduated from college because I messed it up is pretty hard to admit. The hardest part is that its hard for them to understand exactly why I spent all those years not really trying, and now all of a sudden i'm trying harder than i've ever tried before. I am 40 days clean, and I can't believe i'm actually saying that. If anyone has any advice on talking to family members about your addiction i'd love to hear it. Of course the cravings and the urge to use gets easier, but my pride and the embarrassment doesn't get easier. I know what i've done and I hate it, but sometimes I just get so impatient to show people what I know I can accomplish. Before I would always rush to more pills because I never believed I could actually stay clean that long.. But here I am and i'm pretty stoked about it I can't wait till i'm able to say i'm 6 months or a year clean. I know it will come, and I will be fortunate when it does What i've learned is that no one will really 100% understand, unless they're an addict themselves. Otherwise you just have to be patient, which is what i'm trying to do, but its still pretty difficult. Anyone else struggle with this? Also I would like to wish everyone a happy mothers day. Whether or not your mothers are here to spend it with you, or maybe not have the chance to be, and if you are a mother yourself. I hope everyone is doing well on this day. I sincerely do. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 yeah i think the way other people see it is like"ok it's been 1 or two months (or whatever) you're clean now, so go get your ass in gear!!!!"but the journey is soo much longer than that, and complicated. it's hard i wish I had advice to give 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 oh and its totally up to you and is a completely personal choice who you want to admit things to.personally, not a single person in my family knows and i dont think i'll ever tell them. if they want to judge me for lack of productivity during this time, pardon my language but fuck 'em! they aren't paying my bills 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2life Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 I love you guys for all the inspiration you've been giving me these past 1.5 months. I've been clean since March 21st, 2015. I couldn't have done without this site. Love, love, love 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 That is so awesome!! Congratulations! Welcome to the forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatsAreBetterThanDrugs Posted May 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 Thank you so much that really did help. I love what you said, cuz you're right, they're not paying your bills so you have every right. My parents were paying my bills up to about 6 months ago. I cut them off myself. It was the hardest thing i've had to do besides quit drugs. But they were both equally as hard! and congratulations for being clean since March 21st. Our sober dates are pretty close together!! I'm totally here for you if you feel you're struggling. Message Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 I told everyone that I know. I even tell strangers. I posted "my story" on Facebook. I ruined any chance I had of secretly going back to the pills. It also helped me to explain away the weight gain. I have actually stopped several of my friends from starting on Adderall! I am pretty proud of that. It is not right for everyone, but it is the main thing that kept me accountable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 13, 2015 Report Share Posted May 13, 2015 Hi Cats, This is something I've learned the hard way. I think growing up in AA from a young age taught me I was supposed to be an open book with all my problems and just share everything with everyone. AA didn't work for me, but it took me a long time to figure that out. It might work for some and that's great if it does! However, I had to re-teach myself my own way of recovery. You don't have to share anything about your addictions with anyone. I don't feel it's necessary unless it's in the spirit of helping someone else with the same struggle. It's not that we are hiding things. I think of it more or less like protection. Why give other people something they can use against you or talk anything other than positive about yourself? The past is dead and gone. There is nothing we can do to change any of it. The only day we truly have is today. We can work to change the future. When I look back at my past, I am not proud of a lot of things. But I can rest assure you that without those setbacks, I wouldn't be where am today. I can view all my failures as learning opportunities and use them to my advantage. They were great lessons! And what about your family? Do you think they never made any mistakes? It just seems like you are beating yourself up a lot right now so I stay stop that! You are doing awesome!! And just remember, the only opinion that really matters is the one we have of ourselves. As long as that's in good standing, I don't give a crap what anyone thinks! God bless em! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatsAreBetterThanDrugs Posted May 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 I love what you said there. It definitely made me re-think what you said about telling someone and that they might use it against you. That's one thing i've always struggled with. Its hard to trust anyone because the friends i've had in my past. But now I've been a lot more open about it, and it even got me to help some people out. If I hadn't said I was a drug addict, they wouldn't have opened up with me. And because I told them I was, I was able to sit and talk with them and completely help them. So since I wrote that post, I now think differently. I now think being open about it just might help more than just myself. Thank you everybody for responding. I am so glad that when I'm struggling I can come on hear and get so much support. Its incredible and I am so thankful <3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted May 21, 2015 Report Share Posted May 21, 2015 Great job! It does feel good to stop being so self centered. Adderall consumes you and takes away everything else that might be important. Other people's feelings don't matter when it is time to rearrange the bedroom or make an excel spreadsheet. lol, I used to watch Intervention and think how selfish those people are..."those people". Like I wasn't an addict just because I had a prescription and never abused it. How's that for irony! So grateful to be clean and sober! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.