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About back2life

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  • Birthday 12/05/1990

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  1. My husband would describe me as " you weren't really there" when on adderall. Its as sad as it is ironic, I used to put sex with him on my mile-long to-do list. Now, it is more natural and enjoyable for sure. ; )
  2. I can so relate... I used to think adderall made me more productive and financially secure... LIE LIE LIE This is what my addiction wanted me to believe In reality I was spending way above my means, had two eviction notices, had my car towed for unpaid parking tickets. I was a wreck financially, emotionally, physically. My work assignments were always turned in late because I hyper focused on stupid details no one really cared about anyway. Now, at 9 months off adderall, I finally have my finances under control. I always thought that my boss would notice that I am not being as thorough as before, instead I was told that I've been more consistent and "focused" during 2015 than ever before. Quitting is hard in the beginning but it is truly rewarding
  3. 18 months yesterday and my boss is a jerk

    great job on 18 months clean! your boss is an idiot. btw, how did he react when you told him about adderall? (I changed my name from just1more5mg to back2life) the old name no longer defines me
  4. Already Losing My Post Adderall Weight Gain

    I quit 9 months ago, gained around 15 lbs, maybe 20. now I am noticing that my appetite has decreased and resemble one of a normal person (comparing to friends and family). I lost about 10 lbs without trying, so I guess my body is also balancing itself out.
  5. Great job on quitting everything!
  6. Has adderall affected your physical health?

    Doge, my friend, this is so true, the puppet-like feeling was horrifying, I never tried to put it into words, just remember crying my eyes out thinking: "this is it, I just cant turn the switch off anymore, I'm done". I hope damage to your back isnt as severe as you now think. remember, our bodies regenerated in so many ways already. love
  7. Has adderall affected your physical health?

    physical symptoms: OMG ACNE!!!!!!! horrible Wrinkles ( at 23-24 years old) skin-paper thin Back pain, pain around my neck, shoulder blames, fever, migraine DRY mouth couldnt breath at times couldnt swallow felt like I was about to die cold sweats all the time cold, numb fingers and toes and more, much more thinking back, WHY WOULD I, or anyone, ever continue on this horrible drug, and yet........ I miss it, I miss the good times, but then I'm beginning to doubt............ Were they really there or is the drug wants me to believe they were.....
  8. Thank you guys, I was thinking a lot about what you said. I am beginning to realize I am indeed "trading seats on the Titanic" as they say in AA. I actually went to few AA meetings over the past couple of days, I am not sure if I am strong enough to moderate with wine yet.
  9. Hi, I'm starting this thread to share some of my experiences with quitting and running into problems with alcohol, I would love to hear your experiences and/or advice. I quit adderall cold turkey in March 2015. I was using mostly as prescribed, my dosage was 5 mg 3 times a day, at times I would take one extra for a total for 20 mg a day. The day I quit I felt no different than when on it, but I began to really feel the difference by the end of the week, I couldnt focus, was jittery, irritable, on edge, couldnt do any writing or reading, this continued for about 2 months. Around the 2 months mark I began self-medicating with white wine. I now drink daily, about 2-3 glasses. I am beginning to realize that alcohol may be a bigger problem than Adderall. I have ABSOLUTELY NO desire to ever go back to adderall, but I dont know how to manage without my daily wine intake.
  10. My Vigilence Post

    Hi Greg, Havent read any updates. How are you? Hope you are finding peace with yourself and your demanding job.
  11. Im gonna try to quit adderall

    Hi, You can do it. I once told myself I could never quit because I believed my world would fall apart if I did. and then it DIDNT, I felt stronger and healthier everyday, I am 6 months clean so I still have a long journey ahead of me. Please visit this site often; it really helps to connect with others who can relate to you. Good LUCK
  12. 7 months

    awwwww, clean home, how I miss the feeling of getting it done I just realized that before adderall I absolutely loved to clean and organize, and then............, of course, it became a compulsion, now I just cant get myself to do anything really I feel robbed
  13. The Ninety Day Challenge

    6 months clean as of 9/21. I havent visited this site after about 3 months mark, recovery became much easier after that point. I am so every grateful for the support and encouragement I received in the beginning of my journey
  14. A letter to my old self

    So happy for you, congrats on 51 days!
  15. how did it begin for you?

    Your words, bring tears to my eyes, Thank you! Love