Renascido Posted January 20, 2016 Report Share Posted January 20, 2016 Hi everyone, this is my first time officially posting on this website, but I have been lurking in the shadows for well over four months now. A little background: I began using on a fairly regular basis about two years ago, but it wasn't until 2015 that I let the using become a habit, where I often would take adderall on a daily basis for studies. By the time summer of 2015 had come around, I had switched from 30 mg IRs to 40-50 mg Vyvanse. In brief, I had one very abnormal experience where I felt extremely anxious on the drug, which had never really happened. After that experience, whenever I took vyvanse it was never really the same. I decided I needed to quit, so on September 2nd, 2015, I took my final pill. Everything was sort of smooth sailing for the most part. I was expecting to be sleeping in 14 hours a day, and I had a few months before my fall quarter would begin, so it wasn't really a big deal. Anhedonia sucks, but I can deal with that. What happened maybe one month later is what concerns me. I developed this overbearing sense of uneasiness. I'm not talking about anxiety, where you can't get your mind off of bad thoughts that are beyond control. I'm also not even talking about panic attacks; I've never had one of those. I'm talking about a "feeling" of angst that is quite debilitating. I am uncomfortable with my surroundings, even when I'm familiar with them. I am uncomfortable in restaurants, the movie theater, the grocery store, you name it. Beyond just being socially awkward after quiting, I am pretty terrified to talk to others due to this overwhelming sense of uneasiness. I want to emphasize that this NEVER happened to me before using. I have never had any difficulty talking to strangers; I actually think I was more on the extroverted end of the spectrum prior to taking the drug. I studied abroad in China, Scotland, and Thailand before using the drug, and I had absolutely no difficulty adjusting to my surroundings or making friends then. I am 100% sure that this began after quitting. I have read a lot on this site about people feeling anxious after quitting, but like I described before, I am not sure this is best described as simply feeling anxious. Has anyone else went through this? If so, can you offer some input as to how long things took to settle down? And if you took any measures to help cope with these symptoms. Thanks! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idonttan Posted January 21, 2016 Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 Do you think you might just be missing the dopamine high? I found it pretty normal to start hating my surroundings once I was off of this stuff because I missed that instant feeling of joy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted January 21, 2016 Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 I know it was hard for me to adjust to life without the Adderall "superhero" feeling. I was anxious in social situations at first, because I didn't know how I would do. It didn't last long, luckily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renascido Posted January 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2016 I know it's not me missing the high. I honestly didn't have much trouble quitting the drug, and I've experienced absolutely no cravings to go back to the drug. I know some people have experienced psychosis when coming off of the drug, so what I'm thinking is that I didn't get to the point where I'm hearing voices, but I did get to the point where I'm feeling panic. So if there was a spectrum, on the extreme side there would be delusional thinking and voices and on the moderate side would be discomfort and extreme anxiety. I'm not sure that makes sense to anyone, but it's what let's me sleep at night haha. The good news is yesterday was one of the first days in awhile where I felt like my old pre-adderall self. I noticed it after my 5 mile hike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 It sounds to me like it's just going to take some time to develop new neural pathways when it comes to socializing without adderall. It's kind of like being naked around strangers, lol. You got used to having this artificial burst of energy that would make it SO INCREDIBLY easy to talk to people, right? I remember having verbal diarrhea where I would just be like, "Blahblahblahblahblah" to whoever was listening. I literally couldn't contain holding myself from talking. And as I was talking I'd be amazed at how fast the words were coming out and how it just seemed so natural and easy. But then when you quit, it's almost like you're slightly retarded in a way because now what? It's such a drastic change you know? But don't worry, you'll get back to normal eventually. It just takes time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renascido Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 LilTex, I think it really does have a lot to do with that. Here's why: instead of just going with the flow and realizing that I'm not going to be able to converse as effectively and as effortlessly as I did on adderall (or even pre-adderall just yet; it takes time), I constantly get lost in my mind, wondering if the other person knows that I'm slightly retarded at conversing. Then I start to worry and before I know it, I'm having a mini-panic attack in my mind. I think I've let it get out of hand; it's to the point where I'm worrying before I'm even conversing. This has got me to thinking. I think the root of my debilitating anxiety has proliferated the problem to other facets of life, to the point that I'm uncomfortable in nearly every setting. I'd say about 85% of my thoughts per day are wondering whether I'll be normal again. Anyways, I think that realizing that is really going to help me progress. Because in all honesty, I can feel some real improvement in terms of mental clarity, energy, and I'm beginning to feel emotion again, so I just need to remind myself that constantly thinking about whether I'm getting better is really what is making me worse by causing all of this unnecessary anxiety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renascido Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 On a side note, I want to say it's very nice to finally get to talk to you guys. It almost feels like I'm meeting celebrities in a way haha. In your own regard, you guys are all professionals of quitting adderall. For nearly five months now people like AlwaysAwesome, LilTex, Cassie, Greg, BeHereNow, QuitOnce, GrumpyCat (or Dogedog, I think he's constantly changing names), and so many others that I forgot to name have given me the strength I've needed through some really rough days. Just want to say thanks for contributing all that you do. It says a lot when it's been years since you quit, but you still actively logon to contribute to those who really need the help. Thanks to all of you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Yes! That's it! You are exactly right! The anxiety starts with an unhelpful thought and then that thought is repeated again and again until one is all worked up into a state of panic. You have to change the unhelpful thoughts into more helpful thoughts (affirmations are good here - I suggest coming up with your own) and along with changing your thinking, just try to concentrate on what is being said. I find asking questions and probing a bit will also ease the situation as you encourage the other person to do all the talking and you are merely just listening and reflecting. It will help take the focus off of you and who doesn't love to talk about themselves. I remember back when I was training for a triathlon how I was so fearful and panicked of the open water swim. My coach had once informed me that for a lot of people, what happens is you get into a race setting, the gun goes off and you start panicking. Then you kick harder and faster and this exactly what NOT to do. I ended up finding a story of a lady who practiced her swimming with a coach in a kayak next to her and would tap her with an oar while she was swimming and make huge waves all around her so she could get mentally prepared for race day. She found the entire thing pretty funny and every time the coach would mess with her she'd laugh. Then when she was racing and someone bumped into her she'd think about the coach doing this and laugh. So I decided to try it and every time someone bumped into me I'd find a way to laugh about it and remind myself to just take a breath, doggy paddle if needed, and calmly find a place to swim that wasn't crowded. I also discovered singing songs helped so as I was swimming (and I'd always make sure to tell myself SLOW and EASY to start) I'd be chanting things in my head like, "I got the eye of the tiger, dancing through the fire, because I am champion and your going to hear me roar oh oh oh" etc. All of these things helped immensely and I no longer suffer from panic attacks on the swim events in tri's. Lastly, I just googled some tips on coping statements for anxiety and these look like some useful tips. These are kind of long winded though. If it were me, I'd generate my own coping statements and make them short sweet so they'd be easy to rehearse in my head while talking to someone. Probably like, "I am a badassbitch. I fear nothing. I got this." http://anxietynetwork.com/content/coping-statements-anxiety Hope this helps. I'm so glad you posted. I love talking to new people and being able to help. Just stick around and before long this will all be a piece of cake! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkadderall Posted January 25, 2016 Report Share Posted January 25, 2016 yea adderall creates anxieties.The anxiety should go away the more you abstain from amphetamines. stimulants in general (cocaine, amphetamine, caffeine) increase anxiety. I now have anxieties which didn't exist prior to using adderalls.. The brain keeps healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuittingForever Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 I doubt you're here anymore, but I'm experiencing the exact same thing right now. The discomfort. It's very weird. On the intellectual level there is no problem, but on the bodily level I have this apprehension, angst and fear about everything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 One of the reasons I am scared to quit again is I don;t want the anxiety to come back. I get it very badly during PAWS. It's like existential angst and it's awful for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m34 Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Have you tried GABA supplement any of the times you quit? That really helped take the edge off for me some days. It’s so hard once you’re back on adderall because you know what’s ahead, then life just keeps happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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