Back2me Posted March 29, 2016 Report Share Posted March 29, 2016 Hi All- I am fairly new to this forum but stumbled across it this past year when I felt my addiction to this evil pill has taken its toll on me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I have been prescribed to ADHD meds for approximately 3/4 years, and would take it in college to get thru exams and raise my GPA. Initially, my Docs would bounce me around on different dosages of Adderall and finally, I was put on Vyvanse. I know it's a "smoother" ride but I can tell the side effects are just as detrimental. I am prescribed 30 mg/once a day and I find sometimes I double up, and shamefully have taken up to three pills in a day all bc of my high tolerance. I know I need to taper off somehow- I have always been a small/thin female, so having to fight to maintain my weight every day has been a huge struggle to not look anorexic or unhealthy To boot, I feel that days where I do not take it or I take only one pill (which is a pretty mild dose compared to most adults), I am just straight up unhappy, unmotivated, anxious, depressed, you name it. It is so discouraging because I am overall a happy, energetic, person - prior to the Adderall, I may have lacked focus, but nevertheless, I was myself. I just have low self-esteem and feel I can't get thru my job or life in general for that matter bc I am so ADHD and have grown heavily dependent. I want to be just as motivated, "intelligent," and happy without this small capsule having anything to do with it. I am writing this blog thru tears bc I am not able to talk to anyone about this who can really relate. I want to quit, I just need to know it will get better. I also should mention I drink A LOT on these meds bc of the stimulant effect it has, and it makes me want to drink. I realize the combo is absolutely toxic, but I feel like if I get this addiction under control or kicked to the curb entirely, that will alleviate the lack of control to imbibe. I started seeing a Naturopath bc I know that they do not prescribe synthetic drugs to alleviate problems so I feel it was a good start. I also have been "dabbling" with Nootropics such as Tyrosine, but as most of us know, it does not pale in comparison to the actual ADHD drugs themselves. I am sorry for the depressing rant, but anyone who has taken the time to read this, thank you for doing so and I would be more than grateful to hear any helpful tips for getting started on this long journey to a drug-free existence. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted March 29, 2016 Report Share Posted March 29, 2016 It definitely gets better and it is absolutely worth it! You will be a slug and it will take a while to get back to where you were before you started taking the pills. Your metabolism doesn't go back to normal right away...it actually takes quite a while. Especially if you can't motivate yourself to eat right and get even moderate amounts of exercise. I can't recommend a tapered quit, but there are some people who it works for. I am sure that they can chime in. I am a firm believer in telling everyone that you know and cutting off all sources. Get some external accountability. Also, it gives you an open excuse for why you are gaining some weight. I know my coworkers were expecting me to give birth around the 9 month point in my quit. You can do this, and you have to do it as some point...so, why not now? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2me Posted March 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot and it is very inspiring Do you take any supplements now to help ease the symptoms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted March 30, 2016 Report Share Posted March 30, 2016 it absolutely gets better. so absolutely. i also agree with AlwaysAwesome- taper sounds more effective than it really is. its difficult enough making the commitment to quitting stimulants as is, much less having access to a supply and controlling your consumption. even with some external control over the supply (friend or loved one holding the pills), my experience with taking tapered dosages is that it can cause anxiety and irritability because you are not taking the effective dosage for "therapeutic" effect. particularly after tolerance has been built, you will be introducing these side effects and dragging those side effects out for a longer period of time. cold turkey will likely feel much worse but for a much shorter amount of time. the added plus is that the will power you execute in going cold turkey will offset the additional suckiness. get pumped up for this- it will be a MUCH shorter period of suffering, but will vastly improve your chances of getting past the initial hump and never suffering again. (: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 I took supplements for a while after I quit. One energy supplement from GNC had a TON of caffeine in it. I needed to pop a pill in the morning for a while. Now, I take Niacin and magnesium. Sometimes fish oil if I can choke down the giant pills. But, I don't take anything else. Once I got over the need to take a pill to get energy, I didn't search out supplements anymore. This was part of the emotional addiction. Harder than the physical withdrawal which is over pretty quickly, relatively speaking. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2me Posted April 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 Thanks so much guys. I know there is no such thing as waiting for the right time to quit other than now. Sometimes I look at people I work with or humanity in general and think, "how are they doing all of this with no meds?" I know that sounds horrendous but it's the truth bc of my growing dependency. Especially as a woman, I feel like there is pressure to be organized, tidy, detail-oriented, etc. I know that sounds sexist, but I do not mean it to be. I feel like that's part of the problem, it is making me feel more and more like day-to-day tasks are impossible without the assistance of these meds. I wish I could be just as happy, motivated, and organized naturally because before the meds, I was happy but lacked the motivation, confidence, and motor skills to be successful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I think sometimes waiting for a strategic time to quit is not always a bad thing. But it can be easy to procrastinate quitting using this as an excuse. It's probably good to just ask yourself hoenstly which one it is. You can be happy again! You can be exaclty the same! It just doens't happen over night. But you'll notice huge improvements in as little 2-3 weeks if you stop taking them I promise! The battle doesn't end there, but life does keep getting better again. I was happy but lacked the motivation, confidence, and motor skills to be successful. If you were happy, you were already successful. What good is motivation if it's just keeping you from the things you really love? What good is confidence if its not real? What good are motor skills if you are chained to a substance that doesn't let you be who you really are?I'm sure you've already contemplated these questions since you are here. Especially as a woman, I feel like there is pressure to be organized, tidy, detail-oriented, etc. I know that sounds sexist, but I do not mean it to be. I do believe that men and women face unique challenges, struggles and expectations that society puts on us. Adderall doesn't distinguish between them however, and it prays on your vulnerabilities and insecurities to make you think you need it to be a complete person. I think you should throw your prescription away, call in sick for a week if you can manage it, get a grocery cart full of your favorite snacks, and jump into bed with netflix and refuse to do anything but veg/sleep for a few days at least. Things start looking a little bit better surprisingly fast!Good luck! and know that we are here for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 Don't forget the pressure to be thin...it super sucks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2me Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 Thank you for your reply. I am going to be moving soon which is a BIG change for me and I have a lot to do before I am settled in. I will be living by myself and I am afraid I am going to get depressed if I quit cold turkey, but after having settled into my new place, I think I will have time to really work on myself and taper off these drugs for good. I could not agree more with you saying what good is happiness, motivation, etc if it's pseudo. I long to stray away from this mentality and live out my life in a healthier, natural, and more organic way. It is so good to hear that it does get better. I work from home, and when I move, I will be working remotely there as well. Which is why I think once I have settled into this adjustment it would be an optimal time for me to really work on quitting. Since I don't have to "face" people on a day-to-day basis, I could use that to my advantage. I am not going to lie, I have not begun to quit yet. Not happy about reporting that, but my life is taking a drastic turn so I don't want to overwhelm myself since it is a commitment. I am that much more happy, however, knowing I have a support group of complete strangers to turn to. It really gives me faith in this whole process/challenge I will be facing sooner or later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 When the time is right, you will quit. And...you will be successful! Good luck with the move. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Back2me Posted April 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 I agree, thank you so much again for being understanding and responsive 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doge Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 Can't wait until you're done the stress so you can start working on your recovery! We'll be here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper_critical Posted April 16, 2016 Report Share Posted April 16, 2016 Takes time and recovery doesn't happen in a straight line, but helllll yea it does! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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