Need Some Advice: Girlfriend of a an Adderall Addict

[Angie]

Hi, My name is Angie, and I'm the girlfriend of a guy who's addicted to Adderall. We have been together 4 years. He is 36 yrs old and was diagnosed w/ADD 2+ years ago. He has been on Adderall for over a year. He also takes Xanax (anxiety) and Prozac (depression). I never wanted him to take Adderall in the first place because I read and heard about the horror stories. I didn't want him taking that type of drug. Since he's been on it, he continues to be disorganized, interrupts me, changes topics, forgets things all the time, procrastinates (drove for 4 months without getting new license plate, is chronically late paying bills and gets overdue notices), gets bored easy, yawns during conversations, doesn't clean or pick up anything (his place is a DISASTER), he is socially disconnected, needs a lot of novelty or stimulation to be interested in something... You know, the typial ADD symptoms that Adderall is supposed to reduce, right? But I haven't noticed anything different, other than he is less irritable and has a better attention span at times. If anything, he has withdrawn emotionally from me. I feel like I have to constantly compete for his time, energy, and attention with his ADD. And his ADD wins every time. He acts very self-absorbed. Everything revolves around how he feels and his illness. His sleep is terrible, he has no normal sleep schedule. He stays up all night, sleeps the day away. He's either a zombie and his mind is in an alternate dimension or he's hyper-focused and it's overkill. He's interested in doing something only when it's something that HE wants to do. I have asked him to try something else, like Intuniv, or another medication, but he says Adderall helps him, that he "needs" it, he can't function without it... He says it gives him a "kick" that makes him feel motivated to get things done. Without it, he says, he is lazy and won't be produtive, can't focus or feel happy about anything. When he doesn't take it, he has bad depression where he isolates himself and withdraws further, and hypersomnia where he sleeps for days all day long and still says he's tired. So then he gets right back on the Adderall. He has tried Straterra and Vyvanse, and he either had bad side effects or said they didn't work. I hate this illness but most of all I hate the drug(s). He says Adderall gave him his life back, but why don't I see any difference? Why do I feel like it's made things worse? From my perspective, it seems like Adderall has stolen his life. He acts like a drug addict now, saying he needs additional prescriptions so that he can have Adderall stashes for bad days. If he runs out of Adderall (which has happened on several occasions) he gets really mad and freaks out. He gets all worked up when the pharmacist won't give him a refill. He went to his psychiatrist today to ask for Adderall because he was on Vyvanse but wants back on Adderall. They told him he has been changing meds and dosages too much, so they want him to wait a couple of weeks and give the Vyvanse a chance. He got all upset and depressed and now he says he is going to take a week off of work so he can sleep and "be unconscious." His behavior bothers and worries me a lot. It isn't normal. I have suspected he might have a Mood disorder, like Bipolar, for some time. I am just not sure if that is what is going or not. Are these typical experiences or symptoms/behaviors of someone on and off Adderall? Or could there be something the doctors are missing? I just feel so alone. He is so focused on himself, it's like all my wants and needs get overlooked and dismissed. He gets upset when I bring all of this up, saying I make him feel bad about things he can't control. I do everything I can to help him and make his world better, but it just doesn't seem to make any difference. I hate to think what that drug is doing to his brain, what the amphetamine is doing to his system. I worry about him all the time. I don't know what else I can do. I need some advice, so please, any suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated

[ashley6]

Angie,

I feel for you. I was that person you described your boyfriend to be, and it must be a roller coaster for you. I did all of those things your boyfriend does, and I had a boyfriend that stuck by me through a lot of it. The saddest thing of all is that when he tried to help me, I only truly saw it as him being controlling. I thought he was the crazy one...now that I'm sober I realize it's an entirely different story. I wouldn't change/stop taking adderall for him no matter how much I loved him, because of my addiction. I loved adderall more. It sounds like you truly love him, and I'm sure he loves you too. It, unfortunately, doesn't sound like he's ready to admit he has a problem. It sounds like you have pulled out all the stops to try to help him, to no avail. He, and only he, has to be the one to realize he has a problem. I guess you have to decide if this is the relationship you want/deserve, in my opinion. I'm no expert, only have learned from years of adderall abuse, and his behaviors eerily mimic mine on adderall. I'm a sane, caring, and rational person now off of adderall, but I wondered for years if I was bipolar. I wish you wisdom to make the best decision for yourself...take care.

[cxpx]

He's going to be miserable. He will become disengaged, Moody, depressed and sick of it. Its a process. He will hate life, but its your choice to stay around or walk away. Regardless, he's going to do whatever he wants, or "needs" to do with or without you. Trust me. You cannot change him.

[cxpx]

An addict always puts his/her needs first, no matter what the cost. Accept that, and move on. Let the process run its course.

[cxpx]

I totally agree with Ashley. Adderall is #1 if you're addicted. Adderall is the addict's lover, best friend, worst enemy and a partner in life. Adderall is his ultimate priority. Not you, or anyone else. I know how this love affair works.

[FALCON]

Hi Angie I have jest read your post dated July 16 2012 sorry for not reading your post earlier all I can say is WOW this story you are telling sounds so familiar. It is totally Me to some extent .Your cry for help is very justified your man has a large problem from what I am reading in to . . Angie Let us know how he is now its bin a few mounts since you wrote your post. I assume things are the same or even worse. Well let me give you my 20 cents worth of some wisdom and experience .At some point you will need to give your boyfriend the big ultimatum its ME or the Drugs I am understanding he has depression and probably needs to take antidepressants the rest of his life butt the stimulants problem is defiantly a addiction issue and needs to be addresst ASAP at a professional level he is doing uppers and downers I know what its like I have Ben down that road my self to many chemicals’ in his body that is whey he is a zombie .I fell for you girl love can be blind so I am hoping that you will come to some realization in your life when you give him the a ultimatum because as you are probably felling your self getting fucked up and its bringing you down also you may need to move on with your life you are still young don’t waste your life on something you can not change he is an addict at this point am I Wright probably I am Wright I can read people very well. Angie I’m afraid for him he is calling out for help he is calling out very loud and you are the only one whom hers his cry he will need to hit rock bottom to realize that he needs help unfortunately that’s what happens to addicts they realize that there health and ther loved ones are degenerating ore the next option is death by OD or suicide I know it’s a hard reality to except but that’s the way it is you are doing your best trying to convince your man to get clean. He needs to make the decision on his own your harping on at him will only drive him ferreter away from you. ASHLEY if you are reading this post lets try to help our sister ANGIE your advice is usually logical THE FALCON.

[Ominoussilence]

Anxiety, depression, and ADHD? I don't buy it. He needs to get a therapist and to stop telling the psychiatrist lies or partial truths to get medication. When going through the process of diagnosis for ADHD the doctor is supposed to rule out a number of conditions that can present with ADD like symptoms including (but not limited to): anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, and medical conditions that can look like ADHD (e.g. Seizures). His issues are likely due to incorrect diagnosis/medication or over medication.

Adderall is not addictive when taken orally. If you take too much orally you end up just throwing it up. While if you just straight to a high dose instead of building tolerance properly it can give a slight high, it is not strong enough to induce the craving or need to have it in your system that is characteristic of addiction. While addiction is not possible your body can become dependent on it and it is possible to have withdrawal (depression, headaches, etc) if it is suddenly stopped instead of properly weaning off of it.

But in all odds his problem isn't that he's on adderal but that he actually has a personality disorder (such as hypochondria, histrionic, narcissism, etc) instead of a chemical imbalance in his neurotransmitters. He just wants a pill to fix his problems (the quick fix pill does not exist) instead of doing the work he should be to fix them for himself. So basically, if you haven't done so already you should dump him and move on because none of that's going to change unless he wants it to and it sounds like he's not mature enough to want that for himself and, by extension, for you as well.

[Krax]

Adderall is not addictive when taken orally.

what?

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Anxiety, depression, and ADHD? I don't buy it. He needs to get a therapist and to stop telling the psychiatrist lies or partial truths to get medication. When going through the process of diagnosis for ADHD the doctor is supposed to rule out a number of conditions that can present with ADD like symptoms including (but not limited to): anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, and medical conditions that can look like ADHD (e.g. Seizures). His issues are likely due to incorrect diagnosis/medication or over medication.

Adderall is not addictive when taken orally. If you take too much orally you end up just throwing it up. While if you just straight to a high dose instead of building tolerance properly it can give a slight high, it is not strong enough to induce the craving or need to have it in your system that is characteristic of addiction. While addiction is not possible your body can become dependent on it and it is possible to have withdrawal (depression, headaches, etc) if it is suddenly stopped instead of properly weaning off of it.

But in all odds his problem isn't that he's on adderal but that he actually has a personality disorder (such as hypochondria, histrionic, narcissism, etc) instead of a chemical imbalance in his neurotransmitters. He just wants a pill to fix his problems (the quick fix pill does not exist) instead of doing the work he should be to fix them for himself. So basically, if you haven't done so already you should dump him and move on because none of that's going to change unless he wants it to and it sounds like he's not mature enough to want that for himself and, by extension, for you as well.

Hi Ominoussilence,

welcome to the forums (I see you joined today?). Would you like to tell us about your story? Are you struggling with adderall dependence or addiction? That is what this forum is about.