Motivation_Follows_Action

Hi jared, joining this site is a great idea to remind you of how you feel when you want to get that script filled again. I know you're going through a really rough time but you're making it worse for yourself by adding the depression of adderall withdrawal every month; it's no wonder you want to feel good again and when you binge on adderall you feel good again for about 3 or 4 hours for a few days, then followed by the rest of the month feeling like shit. So you can actually use this forum the way you intended, why don't you write down how you feel when you're on the comedown, or going through withdrawal? You've used lots of words like "sucks" and "shitty", but when you're craving adderall you will need some really specific reminders of how nasty it is to be on the shit. And also why you are quitting for good. Can you describe for us those feelings and reasons? You'll be grateful you did, trust me!

HI Leo, welcome to the forums, and congrats on getting through 75 days. Why did you quit?

I just have been reading more about piracetam and it sounds really interesting. Just bumping this up again in case anyone has had experience with it.

Cassie that's good to hear. It's hopeful for the rest of us!

Anyone here not suffering from paws ever any more? Or very very rarely?

Cupid is stupid :-) Never been in to it myself. Romance is what you have on the other 364 days, if you work at it.

Aren't carnival and costa sister companies (costa is the company yhat owned the ship that sank in europe last year).... Oooh dear, they're going to need some goooood PR people to get out of this one...

Hi there - sounds like you need to make some hard choices. Can you talk openly with your husband about what quitting will involve and come up with a plan for how you will manage your recovery?

The NY Attorney General wrote a letter to the editor at the NYT today. Sure, it's great that some states are introducing a drug tracking system, but I am still concerned that they haven't even touched on addressing the other real need: post-addiction care necessary to ensure cases like this suicide case don't happen again. Just seems so shortsighted, you know? http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/13/opinion/prescription-drug-abuse.html?src=recg

I talked about this with my therapist just today. She reminded me that with or without adderall, I am still the same person. Adderall does not magically or fundamentally change who we are. Adderall is not NZT.

That's your brain starting to repair itself... like InRecovery says, the pain is the arrow coming out, not going in. Just focus on taking care of yourself. Don't overthink it (like we all tend to), just go with it.

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm Really great suggestions in here. Thanks for the earlier link, InRecovery.

Scientists have discovered an exploding supanova that will provide them insight in to how a black hole is formed as it happens... for the first time ever!

Awesome stuff Rev and Rush - inspiring!

This is my new mantra. I love it!

Hi, welcome to the forum. I'm not going to call you NoOne because that's a shitty name (sorry) and you should change it right away. Change it to something positive, because that's what you've just begun - a positive journey. You may be at rock bottom now but guess what, that's the best place to start from. The only way is up! I really hope you can be gentle with yourself for a little while. You sound like you don't like yourself very much right now, which is how we all eventually feel when adderall addiction and dependence has taken over our lives. But remember, it's not you, that's your very depressed brain talking to you. I know it's hard to distinguish - I suffer depression naturally too, which is perhaps another reason why adderall is such a wonder drug for us; it makes us feel the "alive" we think others always feel. But as you know, that's a false economy and in the end we depressives just feel even shittier. You are normal, but you are depressed. Having been where you are, if I can recommend one thing (apart from cutting off your supply so you avoid relapse), it's that you should be seeing a therapist at least twice a week for the first few weeks. You didn't say how much you've quit from, but the worst is yet to come (sorry to say it, but just being honest), and you need to be surrounded by voices of reason and supportive people. Depression at its worst is completely debilitating and I'm genuinely worried for you. Do you have anyone in your life around you that you can confide in, who will love and support you unconditionally? Sounds like you need a big hug from a real person right now.

First off, I want to commend you for posting this before you relapsed. That takes guts. We can be a tough love crowd, and sometimes I think that might drive people away. So I am proud of you for admitting you're wobbling and want you to know that no matter what, we are here. Also, you seem to have a rationale that "makes sense" to you for relapsing. And you know what? You'll probably feel great for a day! Whoo hoo! You'll get a ton of stuff done. And you'll get passionate again and remember that euphoria that you thought was supposed to be normal. You'll feel brilliant, inspired, capable, confident. And then, after 3 hours or so, you'll start to feel those old familiar foul feelings... grinding jaw, irritability, whatever flavor of shitty it is for you... and you'll be regretting your decision as well as now having to deal with the withdrawals that you will feel for probably 2 or 3 days at least (and that's if you stop after just one day). So you'll feel depression on top of disappointment in yourself on top of lack of confidence in your abilities and undoing the good work you've already done. You gave up for a reason. Think about how you felt when your life was torn apart by the shitty drug, and how you didn't want one more day feeling like that again. Then think about relapsing. You know you're smarter than that. Or I do at least. STAY STRONG.

I love these! I don't know what it is with my computer but it doesn't let me upload anything above 4.1K which is TINY. How'd you do it, tech genius?!

I woke up this morning with a headache, felt pretty exhausted and achy and found it hard to concentrate, and it didn't take long to figure out that this was going to be a PAWS day. Sure, they suck, but at least I know the warning signs! I was wondering about you guys... what are the telltale signs, and how do you react? Any "paws rituals" that work? Anything you do to make it go away faster or not concentrate on it as much?

It's so weird you mention this - I have wanted to see it since it came out and just today I watched the youtube video of the interview between Katie Couric and Robert Deniro, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Kennedy and the director - they all ended up in tears nearly; it was obviously a movie that hit home with the cast and crew, and the subject is so hard to depict and get right. Sometimes I think that the highs and lows you experience on and off adderall are pretty indistinguishable from bipolar.

Hey LD, how's it going? Just checking in as I don't think you've posted for a couple of days? (sorry if I missed it)...

Thanks for posting this InRecovery. Sorry I was late - life interrupted. What did everyone else think of the session? Should we make the next one a bit more focused, like "tips for recovery" or "living adderall free for life" or something, or should we just make it a general hangout? Also I noticed there were a couple of visitors - should we outwardly say hi or just let them come in and out as they like...? Want it to feel welcoming, you know?

It's my phone screensaver, I love that quote. Makes life more forgiving. Or something.

I was wondering about Krax too. I'm pretty sure Debbie has relapsed - I hope not but she seemed pretty resigned.

I really only can handle 3 pills a day, spread out throughout the day. Any more than that and I get jittery. I took 2 pills this morning as I'm tired today and I have a massive headache now. Then again I also had a red bull, 5 hr energy and yerba mate. I think I might have overdone it....