Motivation_Follows_Action

Congratulations LILTEX! What an awesome way to turn around a horrible thing in to a helpful thing.

I went to the gym today!! (can barely walk now) Kyle, I'm sorry to hear that about your music. I have an old iphone I don't use and I'd like to give it to you if you'd like it - I was given an iPhone 5 for work. PM me.

I've been watching the BBC documentary about Auschwitz. Morbid and shocking. My grandfathers both fought in WWII, it doesn't honestly feel like such a long time ago when you see arial shots of the ruins. There is even some rare color footage of refugees from the camp finding their way back home after the war. 1.3 Million people were at Auschwitz. 1.1 Million died, including not just Jews but Polish, Russian and Romanian political prisoners; and gypsies and homosexuals from all over Nazi occupied Europe. 200,000 children were executed. Lest we forget. http://www.bbc.co.uk...itz_facts.shtml Edit: It's also a well known fact that Hitler took high doses of amphetamines and believed the Jews were out to destroy him and the world in general.

Ha ha - ask Sarah Palin!

For all the women on this site: unless you're Joan Rivers or have thousands of dollars and endless time to spend on ever-increasing "repair and maintenance", becoming some lady is inevitable. The only thing that will make you feel better about this is the peace of knowing you've spent more time working on the inside than the outside, and it's starting to show. I love this piece by Andy Rooney, bless his soul: "A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize."

yeah! As IR keeps telling me, the average search takes 9 months, so start now and you'll be transitioning before 9,999 others!

Good point - actually if you think about it there is a lot of change going on around here. Ashley's finishing up school soon, Cassie do you have a new job? (I think I missed that one), IR you're now in grad school, LILTEX has a new job, SearchingSoul has a new job, who am I missing? I wonder if there is a theme here about changes in life being correlated to quitting adderall? Maybe it's a stretch too far...

Congratulations! Have you tried to quit before or is this your first go around? How much were you taking? Thanks for joining the forums and please visit/post whenever you feel like it. This forum helped me quit and turn my life around, absolutely.

Well said!

Yep, as NYer I can attest that this story sounds very familiar... unfortunately this city is filled with people who come here to go balls-to-the-wall, workhardplayhard crazy, and get totally self absorbed in the meantime and lose their bearings. This happens without adderall. To be honest, I feel like her story is pretty typical of a young woman "finding herself" in NYC. The only difference is that her drug of choice is adderall. For many others its coke, or xanax, or alcohol. Side story -- I was in a (fairly upscale) store the other day trying on some clothes I couldn't afford, and in the stalls next to me me were two young women, openly discussing in loud voices how their sugar daddies were going to pay for the outfits they were about to try on. I wish I'd been shocked by this, but I've been here too long for that.

Thanks for sharing, Heather. Must've been a strange feeling, seeing all that landscape and stuff you hadn't seen since your life changed so dramatically. Its amazing how places can bring back such floods of memories and emotions.

I remember when I lost my job the surprising response I got from one person who said, "Congratulations! Now you have a chance to do something else!" It may sound too early or trite, but congratulations, Kyle! I'm sure you'll use this as a chance to explore your skills in a new context.

I totally think it is worth discussing - I agree it's not even on the same spectrum as quitting nicotine, which is the only other thing I've struggled to give up, but I don't know how it compares to other drugs. I do poke around sometimes on some meth forums and it feels pretty similar to me, perhaps with the recovery period lasting longer, but I don't really know. Have any of us on here done meth as well as adderall, and can compare the difference? Honestly it just feels like a matter of degrees to me.

Sorry I know this is becoming a messy thread, but Mike: 1) Proud of you for admitting you relapsed and about your love/hate relationship with adderall 2) Sounds like although you relapsed and you know you probably could have done the work without it that you would do it again 3) Therefore, doesn't really sound like you're ready to quit altogether. Do you admit you have had a problem with adderall before in the past? If yes, then complete abstinence is going to be the only way to go. If you haven't had a problem, then maybe you're one of the rare few who can take one occasionally and they're ok with it. But those people don't tend to come to sites like this....

He was thought by some to be the forefather of neuroscience. I haven't read his books but if you're interested in learning more (in an accessible way) about the brain, the books I'd recommend are: "The man who mistook his wife for a hat" Oliver Sacks (more about mental disorders than brains but a great read nevertheless) Anything by V.S. Ramachandran, in fact there is an awesome ted talk by him: And "A user's guide to the brain" (too lazy to look up the link) I think InRecovery also has some good recommendations... have fun! And if you learn/find anything new please tell!

Totally agree. Also the dosage he is on is insane. Read the "phases of amphetamine addiction" on the "announcements" tab and you'll see for yourself that he's at the edge of doing some really serious long term damage to himself and unfortunately there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do to stop it. Nothing. My husband was you in this scenario and we are trying to repair the damage of the loss of trust and faith he has in me, it is so painful for both of us. If you can get out, please do. You need a safe place.

Thanks for discovering this site. First and foremost, do not let him see this or he will freak out on you. Are you using a shared computer? If so, delete the history and make sure you log out all the time. Make sure your email address this is linked to is not an email address he can see. You are in a relationship with a drug, not a man. It's amazing you've stayed with him this long - are you afraid he will do something to you if you leave? What will make him stop, do you think? Sounds like he hit rock bottom already but still it's not enough. I agree with QO, you really just need to look after you right now. He may transform but not with any help from you - he needs to get there alone. I am so sorry for your pain.

I suck. I haven't been running at all this week despite my promises. Thanks for the reminder, IR, and apologies Ashley. Tomorrow is a new week, you're right. I have to stop overthinking this and just get on with it.

Sounds like you're staying strong, Rick. That's great! Congrats - how long is it now?

Congratulations Ashley! What a year huh? You've accomplished SO much. I'd love to hear more about what you've gone through and accomplished the last (nearly) year. I'm sure it's more than you could have imagined.

My mother used to say, "If you try to be a pear but you were born an apple, you'll never make a very good pear".

I used to do this and stopped for some reason. I did find it useful. Have you tried the Day One app? It's an online journal, you can use it on your phone and set reminders and things.

Was looking at that link closely again just now and noticed the Japanese Spider Crab being similar in size to the human. Though that couldn't be right so wikipedia'd it and yep, the japanese spider crab can grow up to 3.8m in length and can live up to 100 years. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_spider_crab

PS I'll check it out, thanks QO. When did you get in to this - sounds like you know a lot about it. Tell us the story!

To add to the healthcare costs post, it costs an average of 16,000 USD to have a baby in a hospital without insurance.