Motivation_Follows_Action

Krax, it's so great to hear you're going strong! Such a relief and we have all been thinking of you. It's great you're off all (?) the meds now, I think. What a turnaround for you. How is the admin stuff going? I remember you talking about how it was hard to get the paperwork done without the adderall...

You got me. Right on, QO. Even on the internets you have a way of getting to the heart of the matter very quickly and you're not wrong here. In some ways, the food thing is harder than quitting adderall because you can't go cold turkey on food. And honestly I'm like a baby learning to walk again with the food stuff. I don't know whether to go Paleo, Vegan, Low Carb, Balanced (ie Zone), Atkins etc etc. The whole thing confuses me and I've tried a lot of things before in the past that didn't work which is a lot of the reason I went on adderall in the first place. I want to get to the place where it's not a big hassle to eat healthy, because right now it seems like a big hassle. I've been a slave to diets most of my life and I've had a nutty (pardon the pun) relationship with food for years now, so it's hard to know where to start. This probably sounds like I'm making excuses... I'm not! I just don't know when or how to begin to take better care of myself through my diet.

Thank you so much. This is all serious stuff to take in, and I'll return to your post several times. I will also watch the documentaries (as I love any documentary so it won't be difficult). My own father claims to have put is cancer in remission through homeopathic remedies (although he's also an alcoholic so I'm not sure I believe his testaments of healthiness). But he does claim the herbs and so on he takes have paused his Multiple Myaloma (sp?) so there's that. Not sure how to respond just now or even how to think about getting started on this stuff. I've just started exercising again as well so I don't want to go through too much change all at once, especially as this job means a lot to me psychologically (it's like a born-again-type experience after the last job was so catasrophic for me when I was on adderall). And as you may have read before I don't really spend a lot of time in the kitchen, which I know needs to change. But thank you again for the help so far and I might PM you once I've had a chance to do a bit more research. You're very generous with your thoughts and input and I'm really grateful.

I've learned that the most tempting times for me to relapse are when I'm in situations where I feel unconfident or anxious. Knowing what is my trigger, and being able to anticipate it has been a real key for me in fighting the cravings. Have you figured out for you at what times you're most likely to take adderall, Jay414?

MickeyD this is really an interesting approach. My mother was very supportive of natural medicine, but she is also a bit of a nutcase so I was turned off a bit. I'm now realizing there has to be some merit in it because the standard American diet and medical approach is clearly lacking. I just see so many people who turn in to hippy nazis (I live in an area that's full of moms who picket outside school because they allow the ice cream truck to park in front of the playground after school, for example), and it kind of turns me off. That said, I am way beyond exhausted for my age, my skin is terrible and I look older than I should. I am tired a lot and I don't want to be on medication forever. Can you recommend any good places to start - either some tests or books to read? Will I have to go through a "crash" before feeling better? And I will be traveling a reasonable amount with my new job... what kind of challenges does that present? Thanks so much for your help.

First run/walk today. I tried not to overdo it; I get sore really easily because of my back but it felt good to get some air in the lungs. More tomorrow and the next and the next. Aiming for a half marathon in the summer!

You're "5 mins at a time" plan is fantastic. And congrats for not wallowing when you ate the chocolate. Forgiveness is the first step to recovery. Stay strong!!

Ok I tried it - cool app! I look stern, which is how I am told I look in real life though. I wonder if I'm recognizable... it is scary how similar to real life those things can get if you play around with them enough.

You're telling me to eat dirt? Really like dirt, dirt? I'm happy to try it - will try anything at this point... Mickey D how come you know so much about supplements? We are very lucky to have you!

Thanks, Ashley. I can't see your photo anymore and it makes me sad!

My friend is convinced that Provigil is not addictive, not a stimulant, and doesn't affect the brain in the same way as adderall. I am scared this is a case of drug romanticism. I'm worried about my friend.

I know Biotin helps, but does anyone else have any suggestions? Also my skin is still ravaged since adderall. It's funny, some people get acne on it; but I got acne after I stopped taking it. I drink lots of water and do all the right things for it like sunscreen and so on but it still looks unhealthy. Ideas welcome!

QO, how did you hear about this?

Interesting article on antibiotics in meat: http://www.louise.house.gov/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2882:definitive-link-confirms-antibiotic-resistant-bacteria-transmits-from-livestock-to-humans&catid=103:2013-press-releases&Itemid=55

ME TOO! Thanks to you and LILTEX, I was investigating training plans just this evening. I like the riding aspect of duathlons but my bike is in dire need of repair so I'm going to start running. Properly this time.

Dude, have you started taking the Wellbutrin yet? If so, it could be that. If not, it could be a symptom of your depression. Or recovery. I had unusual sleep patterns (aggitation + exhaustion at times). Whatever, I don't think it's anything to worry about. You have enough to worry about as it is! Have you tried Melatonin?

The air in the Sotheby's and Christie's global buildings has to stay a constant temperature and extremely low humidity at all times. Many employees get nosebleeds and other conditions because of the extremely dry air.

... That's exactly what I was thinking. I never had to take it, shows how times have changed. InRecovery, this totally does suck and I'm really sorry you did all that work for an open book take home exam. But if you think about the life applications of this... (there was a Paul Krugman (or was it David Brooks?) OpEd piece in the NY times this week about it, actually) what you are learning is a really important life lesson. Having personal integrity may feel lonely and pathetic when you're the only one swimming upstream, but it usually wins in the long run. In the end, regardless of the grades on the test, or the signature on the deal, or the $$ in the trade, you still have to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror every day. And you've done enough lying and cheating through your adderall abuse to know that honesty feels far, far more rewarding than a quick win or screwing someone else over. Not to get all preachy, but remember at the beginning of the week one of the biggest lessons I'd learned through all of my own stuff is that there are no shortcuts? Life is going to teach us lessons and we can either be strong and forthright, and be a better leader because of it; or we can be weak and maybe/maybe not successful in the short term. You should feel really good that you continue to make the RIGHT choices, whether or not they are the easy ones. It's inspirational. And you know what? When you get to the ethics class, and the questions in the interviews about examples of demonstrating integrity, you'll have a dearth of great examples to give where you've seen dishonesty and corruption around you but you have remained strong. YOU GO, YOU TOWER OF STRENGTH, YOU!

Leila, Every time you "pop" 5 mg you are going back to the starting line. Why are you doing this to yourself!? What you're doing is pure torture to your brain... think about it. Your brain is just starting the process of recovery, just starting to begin to repair some of the damage done and you come along a few days later and undo the beginnings of the good work you have done. Honestly, I'd rather you just go back on it until you're ready to quit because at least you're not going through a process of repetitive healing then destruction. Your brain was not meant to deal with that amount of shock and change. No wonder you feel all over the place. I'm sorry if this is a harsh message but I am more sorry you're treating yourself like this. You deserve better, Leila. Do your brain a favor - it's been good to you so far despite the abuse you've put it through! So, what's the plan? Give up or don't, but you gotta have a plan....

It demonstrates incredible strength. I'm thoroughly impressed. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks so much lea. I'm seeing my doc in a week and will ask her, but I suspect the answer will be the same. I will also ask my friend the neuropsychopharmacologist. He is a big fan of supplements and takes many himself, so maybe he knows. This guy is also pro-adderall though so I'm not sure how much faith I'll put in his answers. The fact that it even says "stimulant" is enough to put me off provigil.

Hi, welcome to the forums and congratulations on your commitment to get clean. How strong is your resolve? Have you got the support of friends and family who care about you? Have you worked out a plan for how to manage the necessary and unavoidable downtime that comes with recovery? What about your supplier... have you cut off your ties and thrown your stash? Just trying to understand the basics so you know you're setting yourself up for success...

inRecovery, this is a really healing time for you I think. Imagine what a catastrophic failure this would have been for you on adderall. You would have lost your ability to be able to naturally prioritize and make judgment calls on the right or wrong things to focus on. And then you would have stressed about that, and then you would have stressed about being stressed and wasted hours writing to do lists or buying notepads or something. Not to mention the recluse you would become because you would feel both completely snowed under with work as well as not caring about getting good ideas from others about their progress, you'd feel like you would have to do it all yourself. Ugh. The whole thing makes me so sad. You're handling all this stuff exactly how you are supposed to... no one is able to get through everything in B school, that's how it is... it's kind of the point. You have to learn to juggle and prioritize and be ok with what you can do and not do. Adderall doesn't let you be ok with anything. You must be so relieved to not be in that constant state of hypervigilance.

Thanks Lea that would be great!

Thanks, I didn't realize it was the same or similar to Piracetam which I'd asked about earlier on this site and was considering taking myself. I'm confused because the only anecdotal stuff people seem to refer to is that it makes them feel "weird". Can you describe this? Is it habit-forming? What are the upsides and downsides? I imagine that any drug that makes you stay awake for 40 hours at a time can't be a good thing but curious to know more... thanks!