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About MotionRotation

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  • Birthday 02/05/1978

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  1. This has to stop..

    Hey QUITTINGFORGOOD.. yes like they have mentioned in this thread having the strong desire to quit is first and foremost. This forum is SUCH A HUGE HELP. Just reading through everyones stories and advice. I myself am a non prescribed person that goes out of my way to get it, its truly ridiculous. I am also pretty unemployed now (just do random freelance work here and there) and have withdrawal cash advances from a credit card just to have money to buy this stuff (that interest rate is gonna be a bitch). Its a fucking strong hold (pardon my French but cursing is in order here). I have tried to quit several times and have had a few weeks off and i ALWAYS think Oh let me just get a few to get some stuff done and thats it! But it never happens, i get a few and the vicious cycle starts all over again. I have the luxury that i am not working full time so when i quit (And i WILL) i can allow myself the lethargy that it will cause. Remember that you may have mood swings, feel lethargic and wanna snack non stop and watch tv. And thats ok... excersise Helps sooo much and i need to get on that. A bit of cardio every day and you will feel better and in due time start doing even more (or insert the physical activity of your choice here). Its crazy because i have taken adds on and off for years, and then suddenly the last year or two after i got a pretty stressful job thats when i just started taking it non stop. I actually quit that job because i knew it was detrimental to me, i was popping a 30 mg in the am and have another one in my pocket (or 2 sometimes) to take later in the day. I would be physically exhausted but off course you cant sleep. It is crazy how we can justify it always especially when its for work or any kind of productivity you want to have... i m one of those that always wants it for cleaning my apt. i have started going to NA meetings and i feel that will help, you can always just go to one and you can just sit and listen, you are under no obligation to speak. It is a tough road but it can be done =))) and happy holidayyssss to alllll. Thank you all for sharing
  2. Topher time and Liltex Thank you for that... thats exactly what someone like me needs to hear. Been trying to quit and relapsing :-/ the only "upside" is i ve weeded myself down to 20 mg a day as opposed to the 60 ... i agree with you Liltex on just picturing oneself off it .. put all that energy and effort (in my case getting up a tad earlier to pop one, going back to bed and wait for it to kick in) into something like waking up a bit earlier and give excersise a go. Another thing to for anyone coming off is to just give yrself time.. if you make it to the gym for just 15 minutes thats fine, you ll build up to it.. be good to yrself and every little step you take in running away from the addy.
  3. On and off and ONNN =(

    Hey Frank thank you.... ohh yeah you hit the nail on the head there with the just taking them with big jobs to just taking them to get outta bed.
  4. On and off and ONNN =(

    Hey everyone. I will try to keep this short..and also first and foremost I am so THANKFUL for this site..cheers to Mike and anyone/everyone that helps moderate and help on this site/forums on all levels. And a big applause to all that come on here and open up, because it does take nerve and cojones and what have ya! Addy was first given to me by a co worker over ten years ago. I really didnt know much about it, she had a prescription to it and broke it down what it does to you if you are not prescribed. She gives me one.. I pop it ..WOWW! I think we proceeded to go on a bar hop spree after that ....when i tried it again and saw how productive I can be on it I would try and squirrel some from whomever i heard that had. Over the years i would have access to it here and there but never daily. I would manage to score a few pills...stretch them out for however long and be pretty ok afterwards. I have experimented with drugs and other pills and HAVE liked/enjoyed them but i never got hooked to anything. I could always check myself if i even went a tad overboard with anything (drinking, smoking pot, coke). Not an issue.... Fast forward to a year ago... I started a new job and have a supplier that i met recently before i started the job. I thought i d get a few to "enhance" my performance (its a fairly physical job doing visuals at a big dept store, running back and forth up and down all day). Well its been a year of nearly buying almost every week and taking nearly every day, my dumbass even decided to take it while on vacation with my mom to have more "pep" in my step. Every other week i have kept telling myself i would slowly weed off.. and then it turns to "next week" and the "next".. i have managed about two week periods without it.. like many of you say the first day or two SUCK but then things felt pretty ok,not GREAT but making it. But then i know i have a crazy overnight shift coming, or my apartment needs a massive cleaning and lo and behold i would go get some more. I have told a few of my nearest and dearest of my situation and they have been super supportive and helpful..TRULY THANKFUL for that. I gotta get off this vicious cycle of "ok next week i ll weeed off and .." =( I recently decided to put in my 2 week notice at the job but kind of stay on freelance so i can just calm down and not "feel" the need for it..yepp it got to that point for me...i live in NYC but i cant run the same speed anymore, i need to get me a more chill gig that wont make me feel i have to be "extra on " to get things done.
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    New York City
  6. New York City, let's meet up

    Hello everyone first time actually posting at al on this forum.. just wanted to say i went to an NA meeting on a Weds in the east vill.. really great for me... but i m also in line with others here about having another sort of meet up if all agree on it