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Subtracterall

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Everything posted by Subtracterall

  1. Same here. i've been off for eleven months and my net weight gain is 7 lbs. I look great physically for a 43 year old. Not trying to brag but give hope to others and let them know it is possible to quit and keep your weight in check. I eat healthy and exercise. There are no short cuts. I avoid carbs as much as I can. I am not trying to lose the 7 lbs either. I am now at the weight I should be. I was too skinny on adderall.
  2. I also had terrible acid reflux for a long time after I quit. I'm at 11 months now and it's gotten much much better than it was although I don't remember when it got better. It was gradual. One thing that helps with that is I don't eat after 8 PM anymore. Also at 6 months I remember still being pretty miserable and looking forward to ten months because ten months is when a lot of peeps say they began to feel better and I second that. So hang In there. I spent half my 20's and a little more than half my thirties on adderall and yes I do wonder what/how my life would be better now/different if I had not wasted part of my 20s and 30s on adderall and it does make me sad and regretful sometimes. But I can't allow myself to dwell on that or I will be miserable. I tell myself that this is my path in life and I'm on it for a reason even if I don't know what that reason is yet. we don't know for sure that we would have been better off without it in our past because we didn't take that path so we have no way of knowing where it would have led. I try to focus on the present these days because I cannot change the past, only learn from it. Crying is something I rarely (if ever) did while on adderall so when the crying came I embraced it. I usually feel better after I cry. I hope you do too. You know there is supposed to be a special chemical in our tears that makes us feel better. Not sure if that is true but I like to think so. i know it's difficult but it will get better. Let yourself cry and get those emotions out. You gotta go through it because as I'm sure you already know there is no shortcut when it comes to quitting adderall. Congrats on six months BTW!! You can do this! P.S. If you aren't exercising please try it. It is one thing that I can count on to make me feel good. I recommend brook silars Pilates for weight loss. (Not affiliated with her). It's 47 mins long and it works. I do it at least three times a week before I go to work in the morning. it helped me lose the 15-20 lbs I gained when I quit and it makes me feel good. <3
  3. I've been off adderall for almost 11 months after using it as prescribed for approx 12 years. Since quitting, I have been biting my tongue a lot more than usual and it's beginning to concern me. I keep thinking it will go away or lessen but it does not. It happens when I am chewing. I cannot seem to keep my tongue out of the way of my teeth. Has anyone else had this experience or know why this is happening?
  4. Interesting part to me is how pharmaceutical speed used to be prescribed a bunch back in the 60's but was taken off the market by congress because - and they don't give a lot of detail but elude to it being because it was messing up people's lives and health. And push to take it off the market came from the people. It's only been recently, 1990's I think it said that they started rolling back the law restrictions on pharma speed and now Adderall is the leading drug putting people in rehab - Not opiates. Also find interesting how they say expect downers to make a big comeback because all these addeys need something to help them come down, just like it happened back in the 1970's. History repeating itself.
  5. Thank you for sharing that link. Very interesting read.
  6. Today is ten months since I took my last Adderall pill. I was on it for twelve years. When I quit I threw a full three month supply in the garbage. Yesterday I found a broken old pink pill in the crack of my purse. I smelled it. I put my tongue on it. And then I wrapped it in toilet paper, dipped it in some water, put it in a ziplock bag, and put it in the garbage where it belongs I've heard other people talk about major improvement at ten months and I want to confirm it is the same for me. That heavy sloth like feeling in my limbs is pretty much gone. That ache deep in my bones comes less and less. My confidence is coming back albeit slowly. I feel real natural energy again. There is hope to feel good again my friends. But you gotta stay quit. Sending positive vibes to all those out there struggling. Keep at it. It's worth it.
  7. Last year when I was 42 I had acute vein failure in some of my leg veins. Here is how it went down: One day at work I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden I could feel a lot of downward pressure in my calves. It turns out the blood pressure induced by Adderall plus sitting at my computer for long stretches literally "blew out" the one way valves that transport venous blood return from the body to the heart. There is only one other person on this site who reported the same side effect. She was in her twenties when it happened to her. It was scary and painful. Leaky veins made my ankles swell. I had cankles and could barely walk or even sit in a chair without serious discomfort. I had both small saphanous veins plus some others lasered shut. It fixed the problem temporarily and I thought I could go back on adderall in a smal dose, but when I did get back on adderall, I blew out more veins in my legs. Then I Had to get both large saphanous veins lasered out on the second go round of treatments. Treatments and compression therapy cost me approx six thousand dollars in medical copays and deductibles. Funny that I have what is considered "good health insurance" by American standards. I have been off adderall for almost 10 months now and I just had a check up. My leg veins are stable for now.
  8. Do you have any retired family members whom you can confide in and ask them to come stay with you for a while to help you through the transition. Maybe a grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent, distant cousin or even a friend who is in between jobs. Is there anyone you can recruit to come help you get through the first month or two. If not then have you considered an in patient rehab facility? Your job sounds like the kind that comes with Heath insurance. Find out if in patient rehab is an option for you. It's not like you are taking advantage of the situation or trying to skirt work - you need legitimate help. And you deserve some help to get through this. Our big boss man is out on FMLA right now and we are all concerned for him and no one knows why he is out we just know he is sick. He will be gone for another two months. That could be you getting the very real break that you need. There is someone on here who went to in patient rehab and if you search rehab you can probably find her story. I wish I had gone to rehab instead of trying to tough it out at work. I can relate to so much of your story. I finally got married for the first time at age 38. You are going to get through this. It won't be easy as you already know but you have been successful in other areas of your life and seem like the kind of person who can do this. It may take longer than one month to feel better but you will feel better if you give it time, I promise. Hang in there.
  9. Real restful sleep/wake up feeling pretty good Don’t look tweeked out/sick feel real emotions again/I can cry again Look healthier Better health inside too/leg veins are functioning I can relate to people again/be social Not thirsty all the time, I can actually go somewhere without water on me My limbs don’t feel heavy anymore My mouth is moist No more rage/I’m nicer No more racing thoughts No more paranoia Don’t have to take time off work to go see doctor for meds Save money because not purchasing Adderall Don’t need ambien or other downers to get to sleep I drink less alcohol off adderall I have no desire to smoke cigarettes without Adderall I can exercise again Appetite for healthy food is back/I enjoy food again
  10. Yes my ear ringing seems to be getting less and less as time goes on. I had ringing in my ears pretty regularly after I quit. I have been off for 8 months now and I cannot remember the last time my ears rang - probably about a month or two ago. Episodes of ringing are less frequent and don't last as long these days.
  11. Thanks everyone for your replies. Duffman, I work in IT because….adderall. I am not a technical person and never have been. I feel like I have conned my way through a 15 year career in IT – relying on adderall 98% of the time (I'm off adderall for 8 months now and will never go back to it). After years of mind numbing adderall and not keeping current with new technology, my technical skill set is antiquated and it is very difficult to find work, although I do have a degree in business, and a full time job in IT right now. I should be more thankful for my job, but I’m not. I’m working on being more thankful. Without Adderall, I have to force myself to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours per day. I feel like a rat in a cage five days a week. A few years ago I tried going back to school to get into the nursing field, but had to drop out for financial reasons, and I was about to fail Anatomy anyways - reminds me why I majored in business in the first place. I want to change my career, but I know my brain does not work as well as it did before Adderall. Maybe it is partially my age (I’m 42) and not all due to Adderall, but I feel stupid a lot of the time. I wonder how is a person with my brain going to change their life in such a major way. I want to start a small business or go back to school or get certified to do something else but I don’t know what yet, so I am brainstorming ideas. Hoping to get some ideas or inspiration from all of you my fellow ex-addies.. Thank you again for your replies. I really love this forum.
  12. Hope everyone out there is doing okay today. Anybody quit adderall and go on to accomplish something that took a lot of effort/work/focus? Maybe you started your own business or went on to get a degree or certification you needed after quitting? Looking to hear some major success stories of things you accomplished after quitting. Thanks all.
  13. Maybe adrenal fatigue is the reason that I sleep a full 8-9 hours each night but still feel physical fatigue after I wake up in the morning. I've been off adderall for almost 7 months now. I also have the heartbeat feeling in my head and neck. If you find something that helps take the heartbeat away please share and I will do the same.
  14. Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome to the board. You ARE good enough without adderall. You really are. Give yourself a chance to experience that again - to find the old you - she is still in there somewhere waiting to emerge. Adderall has stopped working for you and you sound so ready to let it go. Continuing to take it when you get no benefit is not helping you in any way. I strongly believe you are prolonging pain at this point by continuing to take it - because you are already in withdrawal - and continuing this way is only prolonging the withdrawal you are experiencing. That is one thing I learned from reading here and from my own experience because it's what I did too. The sooner you quit for good, the sooner you will begin to feel better. Will it be the hardest thing you've ever done? Quite possibly. But it will be so worth it.
  15. Houston, TX. It's a polluted, materialistic, debt trap and someday I'm getting out of here.
  16. I'm not proud of what I am about to tell you. When I first started taking adderall I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had been together for 5 years. He was really good to me. When I got hooked on his adderall prescription I was so ashamed I could not tell him. He told his parents that I used all of his adderall and I was humiliated. I don't know why adderall made me think he was the enemy - I'm still trying to figure out why I broke up with him twenty years later. Breaking up with him is one of my biggest mistakes/regrets. I say all this to say that yes I think it is entirely possible that adderall is ruining your marriage. It made me feel invincible and I was "in love" with adderall and didn't need anyone else to be getting in my way. It changed my priorities and turned my life upside down.. sounds like it's doing the same to your hubs. I'm sorry this is happening. I hope your husband can get clean before he loses his family.
  17. I can't find the movie on Netflix, Amazon or YouTube. Anyone know how where the movie went or how to get a copy?
  18. Congratulations Duffman. Thank you for sharing your accomplishment. You are living proof that ex-addys can go on to achieve bigger things!!!
  19. Hugs to you Jen. I wish I could jump through this phone and make it better. You've made it so far and that is such a great accomplishment so congrats on that. From what a few people say on here it can take longer than 9 months so please hang in there. What would you say to your best friend or son or daughter if they were feeling the way you are feeling? When I am feeling really down I try to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were feeling that way - and then I do self talk in my own head using those words. I hope that makes sense.
  20. Welcome to the site. Congratulations on getting down to zero mg. Looking forward to your story.
  21. That's great news y'all! You give me hope!
  22. " I work all summer until September when school starts again. One thing I think about is that if I do begin that process of quitting and ridding my body of Adderall completely, there's no going back forever. What if I do still need it? What if I cannot focus without it once I'm off?" Part of getting off adderall is accepting that we are human - not super human machines. You probably won't be the same without it and that's okay - you have to accept your real self and your natural productivity which you may find is even better then what you do now. As for not having time - try quitting while holding down a full time job, mortgage, kids and being the family breadwinner. What I'm trying to say is since you are young and don't have kids this is actually a very good time in your life to do this.
  23. Curious about how you feel physically and mentally. After over twelve years on addy (low dose) I was totally burned out and that's putting it mildly. Of course you are way younger then I am. Anyway sad to say it, but I agree with Frank. The good news is you made it this far and are alive and well. Flipping nuts they give this poison to young children. How do you feel when you don't take it? Are you able to get out of bed in the morning and go about your normal daily routine? If so what's stopping you from quitting now? if it was me...I would complete my degree and then plan a three month vacation to quit this stuff for good. But if you can graduate without it, quit now. IMO life is different off addy. Different and better. You deserve to try it out for yourself.
  24. Go easy on the clonazepam. That stuff erases your memory. It happened to me. I took it for a year or so and don't remember much from that time in my life. Then a new doctor said he did not want to prescribe that to me because it causes memory loss. I don't touch that sh!t anymore.
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